PSF: Dan 3000, Aabh, Jeloschi; Daughters of the Dragon

[Dan 3000]

Aabh


Jeloschi


Dan 3000

[Aabh]

Gads... okay this is the first one I can vote in... what is the policy here for voting? Do we vote in our own polls, or do we have a gentleman's agreement not to post on our own polls?

I want to brew on these pieces for a while anyway before I critique

[Juggertha]

The only policy set is that you cannot vote for yourself. Some people vote for their opponent, some don't. It's a personal preference.

[immigrant]

nice let me brew some coffee ;p

[Aabh]

The only policy set is that you cannot vote for yourself. Some people vote for their opponent, some don't. It's a personal preference.

That's what I thought Thanks Juggertha!

[Emperorsteele]

Wow, some great entries here!

Aahb: I like this piece a lot! Very dynamic, lots of action, and the composition really gives a claustrophobic vibe, which is appropriate given the subject manner. Everything is done really well... so much so that I had to look for a while to find something to nit-pick to balance out my praise with. The only thing I can think of is that the black girl's arms seem to be a bit too long, and the decapitated Zombie's arm is a bit short (though that might be from foreshortening)... but really that's stretching it. I'm also not usually a fan of that brand of shading, but it actually looks really nice here and makes the piece stand out. A great piece through and through!

Jeloschi: A very good piece from you, too! Great figure work, details, and shading! While your technical skill is flawless, there are three things that I believe hurt this piece. First, the crouching girl's leg has a darker outline than her arm, and so it almost looks like her arm is behind her leg (even though that would be a terrible pose to be in)...? Maybe that's just me, though. Second, and also minor, is that the black girl's legs cease to exist at a certain point. We should be able to see her left leg in the space between the other girl's legs... though if it WAS there, it'd look like the crouching girl would be pooping out a boot, so I'm not taking this nit too seriously (though this is something I see otherwise really great artists do all the time, so it annoys me). The third thing... the black girl's expression, or lack thereof. There's just something about it that disengages me from the piece, and in my opinion, hurts it really bad. I could go on about possible reasons and remedies and so on, but I'm trying to keep these observations brief. If you want, I can go into detail, otherwise I'll just leave it at that =)

Dan 3k: I like this piece for its ambition and technical skill. Your figure work is perfect, the bike looks very believable, and that explosion is really well done! The perspective on the building is also masterfully done. But you know there's a but coming ...and that sounded really wrong. Anyway, the girl on our right, I'm not sure what to make of her pose. It looks cool, but it doesn't make much sense, and so it kind of bugs me. And while I like the composition and all, I find myself wishing you'd done two things differently: 1) zoomed in a bit. I feel like a more close-up shot would feel more actiony and dynamic. Which leads to 2) maybe speed lines or a blurred background effect? Right now, the piece seems a bit... still, especially for "two people jumping out of an exploding building". Disclaimer: This is PURELY subjective and a personal preference on my part as it relates to this specific piece.

Overall, all three pieces have roughly similarly awesome technical skill and I'd hate to go up against any of you just yet. However, I only have one vote to cast, and so I must decide purely on subjective factors who gets my vote. Violence, fanservice, or action? Tough call to make...

[immigrant]

Wow, some great entries here!

Aahb: I like this piece a lot! Very dynamic, lots of action, and the composition really gives a claustrophobic vibe, which is appropriate given the subject manner. Everything is done really well... so much so that I had to look for a while to find something to nit-pick to balance out my praise with. The only thing I can think of is that the black girl's arms seem to be a bit too long, and the decapitated Zombie's arm is a bit short (though that might be from foreshortening)... but really that's stretching it. I'm also not usually a fan of that brand of shading, but it actually looks really nice here and makes the piece stand out. A great piece through and through!

Jeloschi: A very good piece from you, too! Great figure work, details, and shading! While your technical skill is flawless, there are three things that I believe hurt this piece. First, the crouching girl's leg has a darker outline than her arm, and so it almost looks like her arm is behind her leg (even though that would be a terrible pose to be in)...? Maybe that's just me, though. Second, and also minor, is that the black girl's legs cease to exist at a certain point. We should be able to see her left leg in the space between the other girl's legs... though if it WAS there, it'd look like the crouching girl would be pooping out a boot, so I'm not taking this nit too seriously (though this is something I see otherwise really great artists do all the time, so it annoys me). The third thing... the black girl's expression, or lack thereof. There's just something about it that disengages me from the piece, and in my opinion, hurts it really bad. I could go on about possible reasons and remedies and so on, but I'm trying to keep these observations brief. If you want, I can go into detail, otherwise I'll just leave it at that =)

Dan 3k: I like this piece for its ambition and technical skill. Your figure work is perfect, the bike looks very believable, and that explosion is really well done! The perspective on the building is also masterfully done. But you know there's a but coming ...and that sounded really wrong. Anyway, the girl on our right, I'm not sure what to make of her pose. It looks cool, but it doesn't make much sense, and so it kind of bugs me. And while I like the composition and all, I find myself wishing you'd done two things differently: 1) zoomed in a bit. I feel like a more close-up shot would feel more actiony and dynamic. Which leads to 2) maybe speed lines or a blurred background effect? Right now, the piece seems a bit... still, especially for "two people jumping out of an exploding building". Disclaimer: This is PURELY subjective and a personal preference on my part as it relates to this specific piece.

Overall, all three pieces have roughly similarly awesome technical skill and I'd hate to go up against any of you just yet. However, I only have one vote to cast, and so I must decide purely on subjective factors who gets my vote. Violence, fanservice, or action? Tough call to make...

dude your new name is "el maestro critic'" ja love your crits man

[Juggertha]

Great stuff here, guys.

Aabh - I dig the action and the figures, but am not crazy about all the shading/toning. It distracts my eyes a lot... but maybe that's just me. LOVE that girl's foot pose after the swipe - cool subtle detail.

Jel - This is great, man. I really like how you handle the female form. The crouching girls comes off as a little too beefy though because of the arm blocking her mid section. It makes sense, but tricks the eye a bit.

Dan - Good stuff as well. You've been on a roll of late, but this time you're up against some tough competition. The building and the girl on the bike are VERY convincing, but the other girl in white - not so much. I really don't feel her pose matches a fall.... seems more like she's crouching on something.

[Aabh]

Thank you for the input! I love that this place is centered around constructive critique! You guys rock!

I'll give my critique as well:

Dan: Gleeful glee... this piece fills me with it. I LOVE the look on Misty's face! That is a thing of beauty! The motorcycle is awesome as well... and I can't help wondering just what is going to happen when they end this wonderful journey out a high-rise window... O.O The colors really worried me and it should have: it added a LOT to the piece from the original pencils. As the others said, your weakest point is Colleen... That doesn't mean it's BAD at all (Quite the contrary: that is an incredible angle! ), her legs are correct anatomy-wise, but as Juggertha pointed out, it looks like they are pulled up to her sternum. Her head is out of place anatomy-wise... off too much toward her chin and the chin itself is displaced slightly to her left. Still, it's leaps and bounds better than Wolvie and Psyloche and you kicked my butt all over the place with that one (Rightfully so!).

Jeloschi: I LOVE Misty's hand, the foreshortening with the pistol is awesome! That is great work! The shading and line-work is top-notch, where I'm having a problem is anatomy: Misty's legs don't match Colleen's in proportion. And Colleen's eyes are far up on her forehead. I've seen a style like that (Kia Asamiya of Silent Mobius has the same style in his Manga (not the Anime).), but then Misty's eyes don't match that style. The cold totally kicked your butt on this one! Your piece may have also taken a hit because the other two pieces have so much action in them and yours doesn't. That's not your fault, simply the luck of the draw. This is the first time I've seen your artwork, I would like to go again with you when you are hale because you are clearly a worthy opponent!

Me: *Sigh* It's clear that ziptone and pencil shading don't mix (Friends don't let friends pencilshade and ziptone)... Also ziptone and pencil line just don't mix, I should have gone with my first instinct and inked this piece first. Clearly I was intimidated by Dan saying he was going for color and I rushed tones onto the piece, I don't think it hurt the piece in general, but it was a sloppy move. Dan's last piece in our last PSF really shook me up (In a good way!), he really brought the fight, and I pushed myself to the stops for this one.

That was a great fight, gentlefolks, thank you for letting me join!

[Electronick]

Aabh - cool scene, like the composition. Doesn't seem like you held back on this, so good for you. Sword girl's upper body isn't selling that sword strike - don't see the power there. Gun girl's crotch is too high up, and strangely shaped.

Jel - I like your pencil work a lot here - pretty smooth. This coulda been solid, except gun girl is gazing off camera instead of where she's pointing the gun, and sword girl looks like she's been smushed down into an uncomfortable slouch. It's the shoulders and head position I think.

Dan - Voted with you. Your scene sells it the best. My only nitpicks would be the perfectly flat bike, and bike girl's extra large pelvis area - yeah I was on crotch patrol today.