Some of the same notes.
-1.1 Not the place to describe the character, not as jarring as in the other script though since it's right in the beginning. Consider you are the artist, and you are looking at this for the first time. You don't want to be hunting through the whole document to figure what someone is supposed to look like.
- It's not a big deal to use caps to emphasize words. You would have more control if you underlined or italicized.
- I do like how you made all the panels and page breaks bold.
-Generally I think the story is good. The setting is well realized and you don't see ancient world horror that often. Hey there's an anthology! I just think you could have done it in half as many pages and been more effective.
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