8:15 The Prologue (Zombie Short)

[sonburnt]

Here's the 5 page prologue to the Zombie Graphic Novel entitled "8:15"

Page 1:



Page 2:


Page 3:


Page 4:


Page 5:


Thanks!

Joe
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/883295040/8-15-gmt

[gloomly]

The deer's lifted leg has some unusual looking bulges in it. Other than that it's pretty good.

[Beastie]

I'd definitely want to read on after this.

Crits-wise -- I'd say that the way the bird swoops in on page 2 could have been better. Specifically, the fact that the bird's wingspan is totally horizontal flattens it a little. Also, the main body of the bird is just sitting on the black border - and overlapping into the panel above. If you had made it so that the bird was actually immersed in the speed lines that you've got going on in panel 2 -- it would have been a much more energetic attack.

I hope you don't mind - but I crudely re-jigged the page to show what I mean.....

[sonburnt]

Hey! Sorry I didn't respond sooner! I totally missed this til just now.

Thanks for your feedback! Your way looks better! Thank you for taking the time with this

[GuntherGoltz]

I like it, has a very Sweet Tooth-ish feel to it.

I think some of the dialogue, even though there's not a lot of it, feels unnecessary and redundant. I think the story would be better served with silence here and let the setting tell the story.

I certainly want to read more!

[sonburnt]

Thanks for the comment Gunther! Less words, check. Thanks for the Sweet Tooth comparison, that's an awesome artist

[Lonrott]

Too much of the same layout: wide panels, wider panels and just page after page. The story is okay so far, but I don't know, seems less dynamic. It makes sense for page 1...but after that not too sure. Page five should have more punch. Have the head biting right into the reader.
But you can take this with a grain of salt.

[sonburnt]

Layout and camera angles are always something that I'm trying to get a better grasp of. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me an honest critique! I really appreciate it!