Yes
Nyet
For the first one, open theme I guess. In subsequent challenges, the winning teams will choose the topic.
Also, these challenges will use the same rules as regular writing contests (look 'em up or ask your partner).
If there are artists out there interested in illustrating these stories or more likely, parts of them, I'd be up for including that as part of a separate contest.Originally Posted by Favorite-N
Like the regular writing contests, these won't be using franchise/trademarked characters.
Penzata! Thou hast been pinged
Benhatt and I already have some wild stuff cooking!
So Cbikle, we said two months right? Are we calling first week of April two months?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Question:
In the new writing challenge post you stated these rules.
-----------
*No published/franchise characters that you haven't created and own the rights to
-----------
Does that last one apply to this challenge? We still have plenty of time to adjust our script if it does.
Yes. Original characters only. No franchise/trademarked characters.
Right now, the only writing contest on PJ that specifically allows that is the DC/Marvel challenges.
Hope this is where we are supposed to post. This is by fledgeling and myself (cresc).
Overdraft Charge
Story and Script by Alexander Burbridge and Lauren Sinclair
Page 1 - 3 panels
Panel 1 - Wide angle low. This panel is 2/3 of the page - Dominatrix. An average looking woman in a dominatrix outfit stands smiling, with a whip in her hand at a bank. Money is being placed at her feet by bowing men. She's in the midst of robbing Metro City Bank.
Her power is that of pheromones, giving her complete control over men; despite her plain and pudgy appearance. Women remain unaffected and lay face down on the floor while men fight with one another over the chance to rob for their Mistress.
Title: Captain Metro and Dominatrix in: Overdraft Charge!
CAP:
Metro City Bank.
MAN1:
Here you are, my Mistress Dominatrix!
MAN2:
The spoils of war will never go rotten for you, Mistress.
Panel 2 Medium Wide. She stands still as she was, overlooking the robbery with great pleasure at her handiwork. Two men jab fingers and/or shove one another over the chance at gifting their plunder to her.
MAN3:
Hey! I was going to give her my gift first!
MAN4:
What does it matter when you give her your gift? She'll forget all about it when she sees what I have to offer.
Panel 3 – Medium. The two men trade punches.
MAN3
Why-I-outta...
DOMINATRIX
Boys!
PAGE 2 - 5 panels
Panel 1-Medium. Dominatrix wags a finger that a trail of pheromones follow. The men have stopped their argument and are turned to her, looking subservient as house pets.
DOMINATRIX:
There's no need to do this, is there?
MAN3/MAN4:
No, Mistress.
Panel 2-Close up. Man3 is walking away from us, carrying a sack with a dollar sign printed on the side in each hand. Man4 has both of his pants pockets turned out. Dominatrix is in the foreground examining her fingernails.
DOMINATRIX:
Good, now carry on! Bring it all! Empty your pockets while you are at it!.
MAN3/MAN4:
Yes, Mistress.
Panel 3-Two women with their faces pressed against tiles are speaking with one another. They are trying to remain silent, so their voices are whispers.
WOMAN1 (whispering):
Keep thinking.
WOMAN2 (whispering):
Rutabaga? Coffee filter? Banana boat? I don't know!
WOMAN1 (whispering):
Dammit! She's gotta have a safe word.
Panel 4-The women are crawling backwards, to take cover behind a desk.
WOMAN2: (whispering):
What makes you so sure of that?
WOMAN1
She's a Dominatrix isn't she?
Panel 3-Both women are hiding behind the desk. Woman1 is peering around the desk corner. Woman2 is sitting facing us with her hands around her knees.
WOMAN1
There's always a safe word in case things get too dangerous for the man.
WOMAN2
Oh right. Say? How do you know so much about...
WOMAN1
It's Captain Metro!
Panel 5-They're still talking but this is a different angle. Woman1 has her head tilted toward the door, with Captain Metro flying in. I really haven't put that much thought into his attire. Possibly something like an all-white suit with a cape (of course) and a face mask. But, I don't know, anything you (as the artists) can come up with will probably be better.
WOMAN2
Why would a criminal use Captain Metro as a safe word?
WOMAN1
No.
Page 3 – 5 panels
Panel – 1 Wide low. Captain Metro stands just inside the double doors of the bank, he poses dramatically with hands on his hips. In the foreground several of the male thralls are charging him.
WOMAN1
Captain Metro is here!
CAPTAIN METRO
Stand down citizens!
Panel 2- Extreme close up of Dominatrix's tongue running over her upper lip. She should have a hair lip or something disgusting to really play up the comedy of her not being very beautiful.
DOMINATRIX:
Captain Metro. What a surprise.
Panel 3-Medium rear shot. Dominatrix has cupped her hands over her mouth like a megaphone. Metro has all but disappeared underneath the dog-pile of men fighting him.
CAPTIAN METRO:
Unhand! I'll take you on in pairs if that's what it takes!
DOMINATRIX
Ahem..! Captain Metro! What a surprise!
Panel 4- Medium. Perspective shot as Dominatrix cracks her whip from right panel to left. The whip trails pheromones.
DOMINATRIX:
Heel!
Panel 5-All of the men under her control at her side, she's petting ones' head and staring down Metro.
DOMINATRIX:
Well, Well, Well. If it isn't Captain Metro. You look so very strong and handsome in that attire.
Page 4 – 5 panels
Panel 1-Extreme close up. The reader should be able to see the pheromones being sent at Captain Metro and him sniffing them.
DOMINATRIX:
But would you consider changing teams for the day?
METRO
Yes my Mistress.
Panel 2-A mountain of gold, jewels and cash lay her feet, with Metro at her side. Dominatrix feels on top of the world at this very moment. She's grabbing Metro by the waist and kisses him passionately.
DOMINATRIX:
Good boy, Metro. Come here and give your mistress a kiss.
Panel 3-Standing apart from him, she's wiping her lip and smiling. There is a little blood on her mouth where Metro has bitten her.
DOMINATRIX:
Meow! I didn't tell you to bite me. Safe the rough stuff for later.
Panel 4-Metro is wiping his lip in disgust of the fact that he kissed a woman. Dominatrix on the left is surprised by his reaction.
METRO:
Ptah! No Dominatrix, I'm the afraid the only rough stuff you're gonna be feeling is a prison mattress!
DOMINATRIX:
What? Get him you filthy swine!
Panel 5-Her thralls start to pile on Metro again. He has a big smile, enjoying the fight. Dominatrix is in the foreground being carried towards us by 2 men.
DOMINATRIX
I don't understand!
METRO:
Ha! I never inhaled!
Page 5-5 Panels
Panel 1-Dominatrix is sitting on a normal looking bed in a normal apartment with mounds of cash and gold. Two men bookend her on the bed. One sitting next to her, the other sitting on the floor and speaking to her. She has a cup of coffee in her hand. She's got her mask off and her ugliness should be on display.
CAP:
Later That Night.
CAP:
Dominatrix's Dungeon.
SLAVE:
My Mistress. You are fairer than Cleopatra and any man foolhardy enough not to see that is blind!
SLAVE2:
Are you certain he has had his vision checked?
Panel 2-Slave (the one sitting next to her) is cringing in pain as she's doused her steaming hot coffee onto his lap. All done with a smile that shows she isn't satisfied with that.
DOMINATRIX:
Hmph!
SLAVE:
Argh!!! Thank you, Mistress. The pain is more than I am worth as it comes from you!
Panel 3-Her arms are crossed, as she's duly upset at the notion that she can't escape thinking about Captain Metro and why she can't have him. Her slave looks in pleasure at the pain she's 'awarded' him with.
DOMINATRIX
My control is absolute! No straight man can resist my powers.
Panel 4-Close up. Dominatrix looks excited as she realizes that Metro is gay.
DOMINATRIX
Why that's it! I thought he called himself Metro because he protects Metro City!
Panel 5-Wide. Outside the building looking into the window we can see Dominatrix looking out wishfully.
DOMINATRIX:
I can help you, you poor man. One day you'll be mine, Captain Metro. One day!
Remind me. This has a 10 page story limit and not the usual 5?
Not sure whether Cresc/fledg remembered that?
Yeah, I thought so as well. Benhatt and I have been outlining for 10 pgs.
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