Marvel Scripts From Our Writing Contests

[Mahnmut]

This is five pages of a continuation of the Spider-man sample I did for Alex Diotto which can be found here:

http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...scripts-needed

I hope you guys like it.


Page One:
Panel 1: Splash. Spider-man lies on the roof of a New York building with his knees raised off the ground and his elbows holding up his upper body. He is lying on top of a building that has a tar paper roof and a red brick ledge running all around it. There are squiggles above his head denoting that his Spider-sense is going off which is explained by the fact that Galactus is standing in the street in front of the building. We can see about half of Galactus’ body above the top of the building. He has one hand outstretched to Spider-man and a pained look upon his face. In the background we can see the classic New York skyline stretching out behind him.

Spider-man (caption): One minute the Chameleon kidnaps your girlfriend and takes her place...
Spider-man (caption): ...so you beat him to a pulp and send him back to jail...
Spider-man (caption): ...you web swing home with thoughts of Aunt May’s cheddar potatoes dancing in your mind...
Spider-man (caption): ...and you run into a planet devouring demigod asking for help.
Galactus: I have need of you, Spider-man.
Spider-man (caption): Welcome to a day in the life of your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man.

Page Two:
Panel 1: Spidey stands up and looks up at Galactus. He has his head cocked to one side and his shoulders hunched with his hands out in front of him palms up. In front of him all we can see is a little bit of blue on the left and ride side of the panel and the bottom part of a huge “G”.

Spider-man: No offense “G” but what you are doing slumming with me?

Panel 3: Galactus cocks his head to one side with his brow furrowed as he looks down at Spidey. This should be from an ant’s eye perspective as if Spidey is looking up at him and it is a huge distance from the top of the building to Galactus’ head. There are clouds floating in a blue sky behind him.

Galactus: I do not understand what you are asking Arachnid.

Panel 4: Spidey holds his hands up in the air and shoots a web out of each of them. They shoot out toward the two buildings across from the building that he is on and jumps up into the air bringing his knees toward his chest.

Spider-man: Well, don’t get me wrong “G” but...

Panel 5: Spidey pulls himself up on the webs holding his arms out from him with them in his hand. He is drawn up into sort of a ball with his knees up and his feet pointed down, he is hanging in midair in front Galactus’ face. Galactus is looking straight ahead at him.

Spider-man: ...don’t you run with a more...uh...powerful crowd?
Galactus: You confuse me arachnid.
Page Three:
Panel 1: Spidey crosses his legs and twists himself upside down for no apparent reason other than to screw with Galactus.

Spider-man: I mean, shouldn’t you be looking for Reed Richards, Thor, Warlock, Captain Marvel...um...I don’t know...maybe...Iron Man...
Galactus: Time is a factor, Arachnid the entire...

Panel 2: Spider-man turns himself right-side up and looks at Galactus again. Galactus looks very angrily at him raising one hand in the air.

Spider-man: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the universe is in great peril. It’s always in great peril according to Reed Richards and you and that Watcher guy whatever his name is.
Galactus: The universe as we know it could...
Spider-man: Yeah, I know, cease to exist, can we just do this?

Panel 3: Galactus snatches Spider-man out of the air snapping the webs in half. Galactus has his left hand wrapped around his midsection. Spider-man’s head is snapping back as well as his arms swinging backwards out from his body and his legs are flying backward with the knees bent.

Spider-man: I mean weeeeeewhooooooaaaaahhhh...!!!!
Galactus: I have no time for your levity, Arachnid.

Panel 4: Galactus and Spider-man disappear in a huge flash of light and Kirby crackle. Leaving the city drenched in a flash of light. The flash of light has a series of large streaks shooting down into a well of darkness in the center of it.

SFX: FWOOOSH!!

Page Four:
Panel 1: We see Galactus from behind standing straight up as a rainbow swirl with spots of light and lightning all around them. Spider-man is basically falling through thin air swimming his arms and legs out from him.

Spider-man: Oooooohhhh crap in a hat!
Galactus: You will find, arachnid that the mighty Galactus has no time for levity especially when his life and the life of every other living thing hangs in the balance.

Panel 2: Spidey straightens his legs out and then his arms and holds his head up in an effort to streamline his body like a sky-diver as the background swirls to streaks of color mixed with strange planetary shapes and stars.

Spider-man: Okay, okay, like a sky-diver...like a sky-diver...

Panel 3: He moves through the air toward Galactus’ back. The background swirls and becomes even more transparent as the stars and planets become more and more tangible.

Spider-man: Yeah! Just like Swayze Point Break, baby!

Panel 4: He lands on the back of Galactus’ neck with his hand flat and squatting down in a classic Spider-man pose.

Spider-man: Whoohoo! Hey Galactus, maybe letting go of me right after you teleported wasn’t the best idea for my welfare.
Galactus: Arachnid, you should learn to tame your insolence I do not tolerate that...

Panel 5: The background solidifies into solid blackness with Galactus standing there with Spider-man in his hand. Spider-man is covered in a flash of light that is colored red and blue. Galactus looks down at him grimly.

Galactus: ...from my...

Page Five:
Panel 1: Splash. Spider-man is looking down at his body, his hands are out in front of him and his knees are bent with one leg a little bit behind the other and the legs spread, his stance should convey a sense of panic and confusion. Spider-man’s costume has changed the web design is now glowing white, the blues and reds are neon and glowing as well. His eyes are glowing white as well. In the background there is nothing but darkness and Galactus’ hand, which he is standing on.

Galactus: ...heralds!
Spider-man: Oh, this can-NOT be good!!

[GatheringStorms]

Looks like I'm first in with my entry Any and all feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy what I've written!

My choice of obscure character is Marvel's original Death's Head, details of whom can be found at Wikipedia here. Found a database with a number of pictures of Death's Head in his various forms and from multiple angles here alongside an incredibly in depth biography.

Easy Mistake, yes?

Page 1: (6 panels)

Panel 1:

Birds eye view. It is late at night and DAREDEVIL is engaged in combat with a group of 5 normal, run-of-the-mill GANGSTERS in a typically grimy Hell’s Kitchen alleyway. The graffiti riddled walls of two buildings form the sides of the alley and are placed quite close together to create a claustrophobic feel. Daredevil is planting a high kick in GANGSTER 1’S face, sending him reeling backwards. GANGSTER 2 lies on the floor, clutching his broken ankle from a blow he received earlier in the battle. GANGSTERS 3 and 4 are charging at Daredevil, each brandishing a knife in their hands. GANGSTER 5 is picking up a large piece of discarded wood from the alley floor.

Gangster 1:

Ugh!

Daredevil:

Careful there, gentlemen.

Panel 2:

Tight focus. Daredevil is disarming Gangster 3 of his knife with a sharp, powerful blow to his wrist, shattering several bones in it. Gangster 3 lets out a tortured scream as the pain rushes up his arm.

Daredevil:

You could

Panel 3:

Tight focus. Daredevil is ducking underneath a clumsy, imprecise lunge behind him from Gangster 4 and his knife. Gangster 4 looks shocked that Daredevil was able to dodge his lunge, despite having his back turned to him.

Daredevil:

have somebody’s

Panel 4:

Tight focus. Daredevil is now crouched and taking the legs of Gangster 4 out from underneath him with a sweeping kickwhich knocks Gangster 4 to the ground.

Daredevil:

eyes out

Panel 5:

Tight focus. Daredevil dispatches Gangster 5 with a strong and firm uppercut into his face. The uppercut goes through [Gangster 5’s piece of discarded wood which splinters as it breaks. Gangster 5’s face is screwed up from the incredible pain that he is feeling. His face almost appears to be crumpling under the force of Daredevil’s uppercut.

Daredevil:

with those.

Panel 6:

Over the shoulder shot. Daredevil watches the gangsters as they flee from him through the alley. Gangsters 3, 4 and 5 are running at pace from Daredevil and are a decent way ahead of Gangsters 1 and 2. This is because Gangster 1 is supporting Gangster 2 who is struggling to run with his broken ankle. The pain of trying to run on the broken ankle is too much for Gangster 2 and as such he begins to cry slightly. This is not necessarily visible as he should be facing away from Daredevil, but his pain and sorrow should be evident in the way he holds himself.

Gangster 2:

*Ah-Huh* *Huh* *Agh*

Gangster 1:

Dude! Are you crying? Man the $#[(< UP!

Gangster 1 (Continued, small text):

You’re making us look bad...

Daredevil:

Hey now! Don’t just single him out. I thought you achieved that admirably as a group.

SFX:

VRAKOW!

Page 2: (4 Panels)

Panel 1:

Same as Page 1 Panel 6, except Daredevil has turned his head around to look behind him and the Gangsters have managed to flee slightly further into the distance. Daredevil looks perplexed at the bizarrely out of place sound from Panel 6.

Daredevil:

“Vrakow”?

Gangster 1:

Screw you Daredevil!

Panel 2:

Daredevil is bending over backwards as a brightly burning, focused energy beam shoots over his body, approximately where his neck would have been. At the last moment Daredevil realises that by dodging the energy beam, he has put Gangsters 1 and 2 in its path. Daredevil knows that despite only being gangsters that neither of them deserves to die and so he desperately calls out to them to duck.

Daredevil (Large text):

DUCK!

Panel 3:

Daredevil watches in horror as the energy beam strikes Gangsters 1 and 2 and they are disintegrated in a flash of dazzling light. The Panel shows Gangster 1 and 2 highlighted and coloured by the same light of the energy beam in a typical disintegration effect.

Daredevil (Large text):

NO!

Death’s Head (Off panel, behind Daredevil):

Oops. Friends of yours, eh? My apologies.

Panel 4:

Daredevil has turned to look at who fired the energy beam. In the background behind him are the ashy remains of Gangsters 1 and 2. Daredevil looks outraged.

Death’s Head (Off panel, where Daredevil is looking):

Only meant to stun them, yes? Accidentally set blaster to ‘disintegrate’. Easy mistake, hm?

Daredevil:

Who-?

Death’s Head (Off panel, continued):

Just lucky it didn’t hit you. No price for scattered ashes, right?

Page 3: (5 Panels)

Panel 1:

Low angle shot. A human sized DEATH'S HEAD is using his boot jets to slowly descend upon Daredevil whilst staying upright to try and take another shot at him. As he descends Death’s Head points his blaster attachment- which appears in place of his right hand- at Daredevil. It can clearly be seen that the attachment is charging up for another shot. Daredevil stands rooted to the spot, momentarily shocked by the sight of this robotic killing machine descending upon him in Hell’s Kitchen of all places.

Daredevil:

I take it you’re a Bounty Hunter?

Death’s Head:

Huh! No need for name calling, eh? Now stay still so I can collect bount—I mean price on you, yes?

Panel 2:

Death’s Head shoots another energy blast at Daredevil, who leaps acrobatically out of its way. As such, the energy blast fires straight into the floor, ripping up chunks of it and creating a small crater. Death’s Head looks mildly irritated at Daredevil’s inability to cooperate with him and Daredevil is smirking at the absurdity of Death’s Head’s request as he leaps out of the way of the blast.

Daredevil:

Ha! Not likely!

Death’s Head:

What? Made sure blaster set to stun only this ti-

SFX:

VRAKOOM!

Panel 3:

Extreme close-up on the wrist of Death’s Head’s blaster attachment. There is a clear segment/bar with distinctly visible and easily readable text in it.

Text:

Disintegrate

Death’s Head:

Ah. My bad, eh?

Panel 4:

Same extreme close-up as Panel 3 except the text has now changed.

SFX:

Click!

Text:

Stun

Death’s Head:

There. Now it’s set to stun.

Panel 5:

Death’s Head is using his boot jets to follow Daredevil as he leaps and bounds upwards between ledges and balconies which jut out from each of the alley walls. There are three shots of Daredevil in the panel. Daredevil 1, the lowest down of all three Daredevils, is jumping off of a window ledge towards the bottom of a balcony. Daredevil 2 is propelling himself over the balcony with his hands and Daredevil 3 has only his legs visible at the top of the panel as he jumps to the top of the building. As Daredevil does this Death’s Head is able to get off two further energy blasts. One of which narrowly misses Daredevil 1 and the other of which narrowly misses Daredevil 2.

Daredevil 1:

Great.

Daredevil 2:

How

Daredevil 3:

comforting.

Death’s Head:

Stop moving then, eh?

Page 4: (4 Panels)

Panel 1:

Now atop the building’s roof, [B]Daredevil[B] and Death’s Head continue their battle. Daredevil is in the midst of a back flip out of the way of another energy blast. Death’s Head, still using his boot jets as he has not yet landed, realises that long range weapons are ineffective against Daredevil and as such he is currently in the midst of implementing his axe attachment in place of his blaster attachment.

Daredevil:

I don’t suppose you’d care to divulge who put this bounty on me, Bounty Hunter?

Death’s Head:

Hn. Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent, right? And you’re correct, Murdock. I wouldn’t.

Panel 2:

Extreme close-up on a bemused Daredevil.

Daredevil:

Murdock? Pal, you’ve got the wrong man. I’m not—

Panel 3:

Death’s Head has leapt at Daredevil, attempting to bring his axe down on top of him. Daredevil has caught the flat sides of the axe between his hands, blocking the attack. Death’s Head appears suspended in mid-air as he completes the leap.

Daredevil:

Hn! –Murdock!

Death’s Head:

Ha! Super-heroes and your secret identities. Such a ridiculous waste of resources, hm?

Panel 4:

Death’s Head has lifted his right foot up to Daredevil’s chest and has placed the sole of his foot on Daredevil’s chest. Death’s Head has activated the boot jet in his right foot which in turn has sent Daredevil flying backwards away from Death’s Head in a bath of flames. Daredevil’s costume around his chest is burning, as is his mask.

Daredevil:

AGH!

Death’s Head:

Sounds like you’re having a real blast. Heh. ‘Blast’. Should have been comedian, yes?

Page 5: (6 Panels)

Panel 1:

Daredevil is lying down and rolling on the roof, trying to put the fire on his costume out. At the same time he is grasping at his mask in an attempt to get it off his face. Death’s Head is strolling casually over towards Daredevil. As he does so, he is placing his axe attachment on his back and is replacing it with his blaster attachment once more.

Daredevil:

AAAGGHH!

Death’s Head:

Quit squirming so I can paralyse you, eh? Ammunition expensive with current economy, right?

Panel 2:

Extreme close-up on Death’s Head’s face. He looks absolutely shocked.

Death’s Head:

Wait. You’re not Murdock. Huh.

Panel 3:

Over the shoulder- of Death’s Head- shot. Daredevil has put the flames on his costume out, leaving a large, smoky hole in his costume around his chest. He has also torn his mask off and thrown it away to reveal the equally smoky face of DANNY RAND A.K.A. THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST. Daredevil’s mask lies inches away from him, still burning. Danny looks up at Death’s Head with a look of almost murderous rage etched across his face. Death’s Head is slightly taken aback by the sudden hostility.

Danny:

That’s what I was TRYING to TELL you! I can’t be Murdock because Murdock is-

Death’s Head:

-Dead, I presume? Must have set chronometer wrong when using time machine... Still, no harm done, eh?

Danny:

No. Harm. Done?!

Panel 4:

Tight focus on Danny and Death’s Head. Danny has gotten off of the ground and is angrily shoving his face towards Death’s Head. At the same time, Danny is pointing violently into Death’s Head’s face with his right hand to reinforce what he is saying. To further achieve this he has activated his “Iron Fist” and as such his hand is engulfed in the Familiar golden/yellow Iron Fist effect. Death’s Head is firmly standing his ground against Danny’s verbal attack.

Danny:

You destroyed my costume!

Death’s Head:

Easily replaced.

Danny:

You set me on FIRE!

Death’s Head:

You’ll heal, yes?

Panel 5:

Death’s Head has turned his back on Danny and is walking away from him. Behind him, Danny looks infuriated, both at what Death’s Head has put him through and also at the fact that Death’s Head now has the nerve to dare walk away from him. Death’s Head is chuckling to himself.

Danny:

Wait! We need to figure out how you’re going to pay for all this!

Death’s Head:

Ha! Keen sense of humour, eh? Perhaps you should be comedian, yes?

Danny:

And the two innocent men you killed? What about them?

Death’s Head:

Meaningless casualties, eh?

Panel 6:

Extreme close-up on Danny’s right hand. It is angrily curled up tightly in a fist, the Iron Fist effect still glowing around it.

Danny:

They meant something to me.

Caption:

The end...?

[slexicDys]

Hi, I thought I would try my hand at this competition.

The title of my submission is "No More Mister Nice Fly!" The story features Spider-Man and one of his lesser known villains The Human Fly.



PAGE 1

Panel 1: Spider-Man is web swinging high above NYC.
Spider-Man (Thoughts): I can't believe it...there's nothing going on! Not even a mugging for me to practice my fundamentals.

Panel 2: Spider-Man flips through the air as he lets go of one web-line and shoots another.
SM (Thoughts): Well, I guess I'll just head home. Maybe if I hurry, I can still catch Jeopardy with Aunt May. I'll take 'A Quiet Night At Home for 1000, Alex'--

Panel 3: Behind shot of Spider-Man swinging over the city streets. We see that his spider-sense is tingling, and on the street below we see an overturned van. There are cop cars around the van with their lights flashing.
SM (Thoughts):--or not. Just when you think you'll get a relaxing night for once, that's when the ol' spider-sense will kick in. I swear, every time. It's like extrasensory clock work.

Panel 4: In the background, Spider-Man lands on a street light, we see the webline he just used dangling behind him. In the foreground, we see the overturned van and cops approaching it cautiously with their firearms drawn.
COP: Come out of the van with your hands up! We have you surrounded!

Panel 5: Cut to The Human Fly exiting a large hole in the roof of the overturned van and carrying several white bags. The hole in the van looks like it has been melted. The Human Fly is blocking the cops gunfire with his giant fly wings, the bullets bounce right off.

PAGE 2:

Panel 1: Spider-Man swings down on a webline and kicks The Human Fly in the face which causes him to drop his bags.
SM: The Human Fly? I thought you were gonna be on the new season of Celebrity Rehab?

Panel 2: The Human Fly starts flying away from Spider-Man and towards the still shooting cops. We see Spider-Man chasing him in the foreground. The bullets are flying at both The Human fly and the pursuing Spider-Man.
The Human Fly: Very funny, Spider-Man!
SM: Hey thanks, that's not really a comeback, but I'll take what I can get--hold your fire, you almost gave me a three hole punch!

Panel 3: The Human Fly swoops down and grabs one of the cops.
THF: Shut up, Spider-Man! Shut up with your incessant babbling!
SM(Off Panel): Incessant?

Panel 4: The Human Fly is now beating his fly wings and hovering over the street as he uses the cop as a human shield. Spider-Man flips into the air and sticks to a nearby wall. We see this as a series of acrobatic images, almost like an animation.
SM: That's a big word for an insect with a brain the size of a grain of sand! I don't know if I'd call what I do "incessant" though...maybe "scintillating", or "whimsical", dare I say "humorous", perhaps one could call it "penetrating wit"--
THF: Enough! Shut your webbed face for one second!

Panel 5: Close up on The Human Fly holding the cop and using him as a human shield. We see that The Human Fly's mouth is dripping with green acid. A drop has fallen on the cop's shoulder and it's burning him. Smoke is rising from his melting uniform.
THF: Now, here's what's going to happen. You let me fly away, or I'll melt this cop's face off!

Panel 6: Cut to a close up of Spider-Man on the wall.
SM: Interesting proposal! Allow me to present you with a counter-proposal...

PAGE 3:

Panel 1: Behind shot of Spider-Man lunging through the air at The Human Fly and rapidly shooting balls of webbing at his face with both hands. Some of them cover The Human Fly's mouth and he drops the cop.
SM:...I beat you up and send you to prison, where the other inmates will probably beat you up again!
THF: Mmmmph!
COP: Ahhhhhhh!

Panel 2: Spider-Man pivots in mid-air and shoots a webbing net to catch the cop. We see The Human Fly hovering in the background and ripping webbing off his face.
SM: Alley-oop!

Panel 3: Close up on the cop landing safely in a webbing net.

Panel 4: Spider-Man fires a webline and twists out of the way while The Human Fly vomits acid at him. We see Spider-Man's spider-sense is tingling.
SM: Woah, are you kidding me?

Panel 5: Behind shot of Spider-Man swinging around The Human Fly and spraying webbing all over his wings.
SM: That is the most disgusting superpower I've ever seen! Well, except maybe the Blob, super-obesity is pretty gross...
THF: My wings...what are you doing to my wings?!

Panel 6: Ground level shot of The Human Fly falling onto the hood of a cop car and practically totalling it.
THF:...ow.

Page 4:

Panel 1: In the foreground, we have a third person view of The Human Fly hopping off the cop car and extending his wings. They rip through the webbing. In the background, Spider-Man swings onto the ground.
THF: Alright, that's it! No more Mister Nice Fly!
SM: Ha! Not bad! See, was it so hard to lighten up?

Panel 2: Cut to a behind shot of Spider-Man ducking a punch from The Human Fly as he punches the villain in the stomach.
SM: Not that it will help you...

Panel 3: Close up of Spider-Man punching The Human Fly in the face.
SM:...but I appreciate the effort at a little levity!

Panel 4: Pull out to show The Human Fly on his hands and knees. He is defeated. The cops are approaching now. Spider-Man is standing there scratching his head and looking at the van.
SM: Now maybe you'll stop bugging these cops...sorry, that was terrible, I can do better, give me a sec...say, what are you stealing anyway?

Panel 5: Close up on Spider-Man walking up to the overturned van and examining it. We see that the side of the van reads, "Tasty McSweety's Sugar Company est 1927". The white bags The Human Fly dropped are spilling sugar all over the pavement.
SM: Sugar? You were stealing bags of sugar?

PAGE 5:

Panel 1: Close up on The Human Fly on the ground and the cops approaching him.
THF: Yes, okay? I was stealing bags of sugar! You don't know what it's like to be afflicted with the characteristics of a fly.

Panel 2: Close up on the cops pulling The Human Fly to his feet. They are about to take him away.
THF: I crave the stuff! I need it! I was gonna go straight, but I needed one last hit of that sweet sugary goodness, just one more...

Panel 3: Close up on Spider-Man.
SM: You're gonna get 5 to 10 years for armed meta-human robbery...because of stealing sugar...
THF(Off Panel): Oh come on! I can't help myself...it's encoded in my fly DNA! It's not fair!
SM2: You swear you were going to get clean after this?

Panel 4: Cut to the cops taking The Human fly away, they are trying to put him into the backseat of a cop car but he is struggling.
THF: Yes, I swear! There was even talk of me joining the Great Lakes Avengers! Call Squirrel Girl, she'll vouch for me!

Panel 5: Cut to a third person shot of Spider-Man webbing up the cops before they can put The Human Fly into the cop car.
COP1: Hey what are you doing?!
COP2: Are you crazy? You're letting him get away!

Panel 6: Close up on The Human Fly shaking Spider-Man's hand. He looks extremely grateful.
THF: Thank you so much!
SM: Everyone deserves a second chance, even The Human Fly. Just don't let me down, okay? I don't want to catch you stealing a truck of jelly donuts in a week.

Panel 7: Spider-Man is swinging away towards the camera. In the background, we see The Human Fly flying away in the other direction.
THF: You won't regret this, Spider-Man!
SM: I better not!
SM(Thoughts): Maybe I can still catch Final Jeopardy...

[Night Robin]

Here's mine. If you see any room for improvement, lemme know. I use Final Draft to write my scripts but copying and pasting here butchers the format. Kinda sad because they look so neat in that program. If its too much of a pain to read, tell me and I'll attempt to make it less of one.

I used a villain named Crossfire who seems to have occasionally pestered several heroes but doesn't seem to have settled on one foe in particular. My hero is Deadpool.

http://marvel.com/universe/Crossfire



"Deadpool: Caught in the Crossfire"

PAGE ONE

1- INT. EMPIRE STATE SAVINGS & LOAN - DAY

Wide shot of the inside of the bank. We see a long line and the person at the front is walking away. The next person in line is Deadpool. Noticeably in costume, but with no swords and guns.

BANK TELLER
Next.

2- Deadpool steps up to the counter. The teller looks surprised.

BANK TELLER (CONT’D)
Wha- What are you doing here?

DEADPOOL
I’d like to open an account, please.

BANK TELLER
Seriously?

DEADPOOL
Nah, I’m just here for the sake of the story.

BANK TELLER
What?

3- Crossfire enters the bank with three thugs dressed in military garb. The people in the bank panic.

CROSSFIRE
Everybody on the ground!

4- Everybody except Deadpool drops to the floor in horror.

DEADPOOL
Oh snaps! Who saw that coming?

5- Tight on Deadpool winking toward the reader.

PAGE TWO

1- Crossfire grins as his men begin ordering the bank’s patrons to the ground.

THUG 1
On the ground now!

THUG 2
Get down! Hands on your head!

CROSSFIRE
Just do as these men say and everything will be fine.

CROSSFIRE
Resist and, well, that’s another story altogether.

2- One of Crossfire’s thugs leans in close to him and points at Deadpool. Deadpool stands with his hands clasped behind his back and head tilted to the side like a little girl trying to be noticed.

THUG 3
Hey boss, uh, isn’t that Spider-Man over there?

3- Deadpool is hurt and confused by the thug’s question.

DEADPOOL
Say whaaaaaaaaaaat?

4- Deadpool makes his way toward Crossfire and the thugs. The thugs aim their guns at Deadpool.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Spider-Man? Seriously?

DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
And I thought it was so obvious I fashioned this garb after Thor.

THUG 3
Stay right there freak!

5- Deadpool talks to Crossfire as the thugs still train there guns on him.

DEADPOOL
So what’s your end game here, pal?

CROSSFIRE
I’m robbing this bank.

DEADPOOL
Duh, dude. Think that’s pretty obvious.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m talking “long haul”. You just looking to get rich or is there more to it?

6- Crossfire grins as he and Deadpool keep talking.

CROSSFIRE
Well, walking in Wilson Fisk’s shoes would be nice, but everyone has to start somewhere.

CROSSFIRE (CONT'D)
Now if you’ll excuse me.

7- Deadpool steps out of the way and gracefully waves Crossfire and his goons forward.

DEADPOOL
Be my guest.

PAGE THREE

1- Crossfire directs his men toward the vault. Deadpool is off panel.

CROSSFIRE
Vault’s over there, boys.

CROSSFIRE (CONT'D)
Find the manager, put a gun to his head, and I’m fairly certain you won’t have any problems getting in.

DEADPOOL (OFF PANEL)
Yeah, I’d like to report a robbery.

2- Crossfire and his goons turn around to see Deadpool using a cellphone.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Empire State Savings & Loan. Some D-lister and a couple mercs.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Lady, believe me, I know a mercenary when I see one.

3- Crossfire looks enraged.

CROSSFIRE
What are you doing!?

4- Deadpool places his finger over his mouth, shushing Crossfire.

DEADPOOL
Ssssshhhhhhhh!!! I’m on the phone.

5- Crossfire orders his men to attack and Deadpool leaps into the air, still talking on the phone, dodging gunfire.

CROSSFIRE
Kill him!!!

SFX- RATTATATATATATATATAT

DEADPOOL
No, they busted out some firecrackers!!! Of course they’re shooting at me!!!

6- Deadpool does a diving kick, hitting one thug square in the face.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
KABLOW!

DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
I just nailed this guy all up in the face! You shoulda seen it!

PAGE FOUR

1- Deadpool cuts a backflip toward the other thugs as they continue firing at him.

SFX- RATTATATATATATATATA

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Well, I know you can’t see me. What do you think I am, crazy?

2- Deadpool stands on top of the thugs’ heads and slams them together with his feet.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Seriously though, you gotta check out the security tape after all this is over.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m in rare form.

3- As Deadpool lands the cell phone is shot out of his hand, exploding.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I mean--

SFX- BLAM!

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
AH!!!

4- Deadpool looks over at an angry Crossfire, who’s wrist-mounted gun is smoking.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, dude. Totally forgot you were here.

CROSSFIRE
You have ruined everything!

5- Crossfire continues to point his gun at Deadpool. Deadpool has turned around and is looking at the bank’s entrance, off panel.

CROSSFIRE (CONT’D)
I am sick to death of you super freaks!

DEADPOOL
Oh hey, dude!

CROSSFIRE
Every heist. Every kidnapping. Foiled.

DEADPOOL
Dude!

CROSSFIRE
Everything I’ve ever done to further my--

DEADPOOL
Duuuuuude!

CROSSFIRE
What!?

6- Tight on Deadpool as he points over his shoulder toward the entrance. Outside the entrance are half a dozen police cars, lights flashing, and officers ready to fire.

DEADPOOL
Your ride’s here.

PAGE FIVE

1- EXT. EMPIRE STATE SAVINGS & LOAN - DAY
Over the shoulder’s of Deadpool and Spider-Man as they look at Crossfire in the back of a squad car. Half of Deadpool’s mask is missing, The result of being shot in the head.

SPIDER-MAN
So he shot you in the head, huh?

DEADPOOL
Yup.

2- Spider-Man and Deadpool continue talking. Deadpool slouches, looking depressed.

SPIDER-MAN
Healed up nicely.

DEADPOOL
I do that.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Where did you come from anyway?

SPIDER-MAN
Just swingin’ around, heard the sirens and hear I am.

DEADPOOL
Hooray.

3- Deadpool begins walking down the street.

SPIDER-MAN
Oh come on! Don’t be like that! You had it under control!

DEADPOOL
Until I got shot.

SPIDER-MAN
Well...yeah. Wait, why weren’t you armed? Don’t you usually have guns and
swords and such?

DEADPOOL
Your not supposed to take guns into a bank, moron. Even I know that.

4- Deadpool keeps walking away. An officer approaches Spider-Man.

SPIDER-MAN
I know what’ll cheer you up. Howzabout a team up?

DEADPOOL
Howzabout I leave the bank robberies to you and go kill the guy whose been bummin’ offa my cable?

5- The officer talks to Spider-Man. Deadpool is now off panel.

OFFICER
He’s kiddin’ right?

SPIDER-MAN
Yeah, yeah. He’s-- uh-- he’s just joking. He’s just--um--

6- Spider-Man takes off after Deadpool.

SPIDER-MAN (CONT’D)
Wade!

[Zepster]

Ok, I’ve taken a slight liberty here. Our Hero is a villain called, The Spot ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spot_(comics) ). He can create multiple dimensional portals ( worm holes ) on or near his body but can also use them to travel long distances . The liberty taken was giving him an estranged daughter but I guess by their very nature, these obscure characters are massively under developed so there is some scope for adding depth… ( an additional minor liberty may be with his range, but then again can't remember it being defined before so...)

I picked the Spot as he is generally treated as a joke ( he calls himself The Spot FFS ) but actually has quite a potent ability. So wanted to explore it a bit…
As ever, please be critical

Thx

Enter, The Spot!

Page 1

Panel 1
A street, late evening, the houses are detached and behind them is a densely wooded area. Sporadic street lamps light the street and one is close to the Woman’s house. The house has a veranda with a swing chair on it and a few flower pots.

f/g A silhouette of a man watches as…

b/g ..across the road, A young woman is saying goodbye to some girlfriends. Their car is parked outside the house. She is standing on the porch which is elevated with a few steps leading up to it

CAPTION: THE HOME OF MAYA OHNN

Panel 2

Close in on, The face of the SPOT ( Dr Jonathan Ohnn ) as he looks across the street towards the young woman. She is his estranged daughter and his expression is one of sadness and hope. He is wearing a hat that casts shadows across his face.

Note: The Spot can localise the “spots” that cover his body and conceal them, so really we’re looking at the haggard face of a late middle aged man

CAPTION: AN ORDINARY WOMAN IN MANY RESPECTS SAVE THAT SHE IS THE DAUGHTER OF DR JONATHAN OHNN

CAPTION: BETTER KNOWN AS THE SUPER VILLAN, THE SPOT

Panel 3

f/g Maya standing on her porch waving to her friend’s car as it departs

m/g The SPOT, wearing a trench coat, has now crossed the street and is looking up to her. He is standing in the light of a street lamp

b/g A little foreshadowing here, two male silhouettes in the darkness across the street are watching ( give them red glowing eyes please )

THE SPOT: MAYA

Panel 4

f/g Maya, quite angry, arms folded and looking stern

b/g The Spot, humble/sad, arms spread in a gesture of appeal

MAYA: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

THE SPOT: MAYA I WANT TO TALK. CAN I COME IN?

MAYA(link): NO! I’LL NOT HAVE EVERYTHING I OWN DESTROYED WHEN SPIDER-MAN OR SOMEONE ELSE COMES TO ARREST YOU.

THE SPOT(link): MAYA. PLEASE. I’VE DONE MY TIME. I’M GOING STRAIGHT. I WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR LIFE AGAIN. I WANT TO MAKE THINGS UP BETWEEN US. PLEASE

Panel 5

Maya face turned away, she is crying

MAYA: I’VE BEEN ALONE LONG ENOUGH NOW TO HAVE REBUILT MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU!

MAYA(link):JUST GO. GO BEFORE SOMEONE CALLS THE POLICE

Panel 6

f/g The Spot, grief stricken, head bowed as he walks away down the street

m/g Maya weeping sitting on the veranda swing chair

b/g Our two silhouettes moving in on Maya, they should be more obvious now

CAPTION: JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. IF HE PUSHES HER NOW HE’LL LOSE HER FOREVER. GIVE HER A FEW DAYS AND TRY AGAIN.

Page 2

Panel 1

Worm eye view – The SPOT turning in alarm, hat flying, coat flaring open to reveal his spot covered body

SFX: AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE SPOT: A SCREAM!

THE SPOT(Burst): MAYA!!!

Panel 2

The spot, distressed/angry exiting a large portal onto the veranda. The porch swing is broken, flower pots smashed.

THE SPOT:SIGNS OF A STRUGGLE. SOMEONE HAS TAKEN HER. SOMEONE HAS TAKEN MY LITTLE GIRL!

Panel 3

The Spot is leaping off the veranda, trench coat flaring. He will land at the side of the house and facing towards the rear of the property where the woods are.

THE SPOT: THERE WAS NO CAR ON THE STREET AND THE DOOR WAS CLOSED. THEY MUST HAVE TAKEN HER INTO THE WOODS

Panel 4

The spot facing the woods, they are thick and dense. He is gesturing and several of his portals are hovering in the air before him

THE SPOT: THIS IS MY FAULT. IT’S THE HOOD OR HYDRA OR SOMEONE. THEY’VE TAKEN HER TO USE AS LEVERAGE AGAINST ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW I’M GOING STRAIGHT

THE SPOT(link): WELL WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT. I’M NO WOODSMAN BUT I HAVE EARS. IF I OPEN PORTALS ACROSS THE WOODS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR..

THE SPOT(burst/link): THERE!

SFX(from one random portal): SNAP! CRACK!

Panel 5
It is deep in the woods at the entrance to an abandoned mine. It was boarded up and fenced off but the boards are broken. Even so, it is quite overgrown with lots of foliage/bushes and trees. There are broken bits of old fence posts sticking up in the air leading out in a line towards us

f/g The Spot exiting a portal. One of the broken fence posts should be prominent quite near him

m/g two raggedy figures are carrying an unconscious Maya towards the mine entrance. We can’t see their faces yet

b/g the entrance to the mine

THE SPOT: YES! THERE THEY ARE

THE SPOT(Burst): LET HER GO!

Panel 6

f/g One of the kidnappers is in mid-air leaping towards the surprised spot and snarling. It’s a vampire!

b/g the other vampire is entering the mine with the still unconscious Maya

ATTACKING VAMPIRE(Burst): RAWWWRRRR!!!!!!

THE SPOT: WHAT THE HELL?
 
Page 3

Panel 1

The Vampire has hit a large spot on the umm Spot’s chest. It is entering the large spot and exiting through a similarly sized spot on the *sigh* Spot’s back.

Important – the spots are dimensional portals – there is an effective zero distance between them, so do not account for the Spot’s body when drawing the vampire ( if that makes sense ) there is zero distance between the entry portal and the exit one. The vampire is about to have an unfortunate coming together with the broken fence post.

THE SPOT: IT CAN’T BE

Panel 2

f/g The Vampire impaled on the broken fence post mentioned earlier. Writhing in agony

m/g The Spot looking on in shock

b/g the mine entrance

THE SPOT: I’VE HEARD RUMOURS BUT

VAMPIRE: HIISSSSSSSSSSS

Panel 3

f/g closer in now, The vampire bursting into flames

b/g the Spot stunned

THE SPOT: VAMPIRE! IT’S TRUE!!

SFX: WHOOSH

Panel 4

f/g The Spot pulling at another fence post

b/g the mine entrance, its pitch black inside

THE SPOT: VAMPIRES. TERRORISTS. GANGSTERS. IT DOESN’T MATTER. THEY TOOK MY DAUGHTER AND NOW..

Panel 5

f/g The Spot from behind, he has discarded his coat and we can see spots writhing on his body. His arms spread slightly, each hand holding a stake broken off from the fence posts. He is ready to fight and facing the

b/g the pitch black mine entrance. The darkness now broken by several sets of red glowing eyes

THE SPOT(Link from p4): DADDYS COMING

Page 4

Panel 1

Multiple vampires leaping from the mine entrance. The spot is using his portals to good effect.
Two vampires are being killed by the Spot creating portals right over their chests and stabbing them through the portals. Another Vampire’s is leaping through a hastily erected portal and emerging over yet another broken fence post. A Bad Ass Vampire ( better dressed than the others too ) is making headway towards the Spot.

PORTAL STABBED VAMPIRE(S): HISSSSSSS

FALLING THROUGH A PORTAL TO ITS DOOM VAMPIRE: RHHHAR????

THE SPOT(burst): WHERE IS SHE?

Panel 2

The Spot continues to slay vampires as above. Whatever works here, get creative with the use of the portals but we MUST see the Bad Ass Vampire almost closed with the Spot now. The BAV is using the flunkies and a little bit of hypnotism to allow him to get close, so if we could do something with his eyes to suggest this. Distribute various dead vampires, some engulfed in flames wherever you see fit.

THE SPOT(burst): GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER

THE SPOT (thinking): THIS ISN’T WORKING. IT’S COSTING TOO MUCH TIME. I NEED ANOTHER APPROACH

DYING VAMPIRES: ARRRGGH!

Panel 3

Our Bad Ass Vampire is laying out the Spot, HARD!

BAV(Burst): ENOUGH!

THE SPOT: UGGGH

SFX: KERACK!

Panel 4

f/g close in on the face of our bad ass vampire as he enters the mine

b/g two remaining flunkies grabbing an arm each to drag the Spot along. If you have room throw in a few smouldering corpses. The Spot has given a good account of himself. Enough to earn a final audience with our main villain.

BAV: BRING HIM. THE MASTER WILL WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS ONE HIMSELF

Panel 5 ( small panel )

Close in on the Spot’s bloodied face. A BIG EVIL joker like smile is on it. They fell for it. The quickest way to wherever Maya is, was to get captured himself and it’s worked!

Panel 6

Deep within the mine and holding court is our villain. Its Dracula in full getup. He is conducting a tour of his territories ( ala a feudal King to remind everyone who is boss ). The BAV is the local master vampire now playing host.
So

F/g Dracula drinking blood from a broken glass as he sits on a homemade throne

m/g Maya is awake how and strung up upside down. A vampire holds a knife to her throat with one hand and a collection bowl with the other. Plenty of flunky vampires about

b/g The Bad Ass vampire, beside him his flunkies dragging the Spot by his arms

DRACULA: WHAT IS THIS?

BAD ASS VAMPIRE: HE SLEW THE GATE GUARDS AND MANY OTHERS MY LORD. I BELIEVE HE IS YOUR MEAL’S FATHER

MAYA(Burst): DA DADDY!

THE SPOT(Burst): MAYA!

Page 5

Panel 1

The Spot, on his knees now, the flunkies are holding him by the arms, he is struggling against them and is shouting at Dracula. Dracula isn’t happy. Nobody disses him in front of the troops!

THE SPOT: ONE CHANCE. LET HER GO AND NOBODY DIES

DRACULA: YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME BEFORE MY COVEN? I WILL DRAIN HER DRY WHILE YOU WATCH

Panel 2, small panel

Close in, the Spot’s mouth only and blood stains his teeth. It’s that Joker smile again. He is about to execute his master plan

THE SPOT: DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU

Panel 3

Everyone looking upwards as a large portal opens just below the ceiling, Its facing down and covers most of the chamber. Dracula is quite jocular and his cronies are laughing. The Spot is straining very hard

DRACULA: THIS IS YOUR MASTER STROKE IS IT?

THE SPOT: NOT QUITE. IT IS ONE END OF A DIMENSIONAL PORTAL. THE OTHER WILL TAKE A MOMENT TO SPAWN

DRACULA(Link): SHOULD WE TALK AMONGST OURSELVES WHILE WE WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN?

THE SPOT(Link): IT’S AT THE FULL EXTENT OF MY RANGE. IT’S JUST FINISHED SPAWNING NOW

THE SPOT(Link): SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT.

Panel4

Brilliant sunlight is busting through into the chamber and hits the vampires like an energy blast. Many of the flunkies are vaporised instantaneously, the Bass Ass Vampire is dead too but maybe not as disintegrated as the flunkies, Dracula is throwing up his cloak to protect himself ( this is to give an excuse for him to return at some stage in the future but he is defeated for now ) as he flees.

THE SPOT (burst): WHERE IT’S DAYTIME!

SFX: FSSSSHHHHHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DRACULA: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Panel 5

A very wounded and weary Spot is helping Maya down. She is weeping. A bit of smoke perhaps in the background

THE SPOT: MAYA. ARE YOU OK?

MAYA: DADDY I’M SO SORRY. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE…

Panel 6

Both are hugging each other, tearful/happy

MAYA: CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?

THE SPOT: MAYBE…. MAYBE WE CAN BOTH FORGIVE EACH OTHER.

CAPTION:THE END

[ArkhamInmate47]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_(comics)



Ok I have absolutely no grasp of how to write comic book format. I used Final Draft and did my best to put things into a comic friendly script. My entry features a mainstream villain and an obscure hero. In this I pit Dr. Doom against The Captain from Nextwave. I am totally open to criticism and I know I will catch some for my format lol.I just hope you all enjoy the story.

"None The Weiser"
Page 1
INT. CASTLE DOOM. THRONE ROOM

1-Two servants kneel in front of Doom’s throne.

DOOM
Is there any further business? I have matters to attend to.

SERVANT 1
No my Lord Doom.

DOOM
Then be gone. I am bored with your prattling

SFX-BOOM

2-The wall explodes and The Captain flies through.

3-Wide shot of The Captain as he smacks into the opposite wall head first.

4-Doom rises from his throne.

DOOM
What is this ?! Who dares?!

5-The Captain doesn’t move. Doom’s servants have him lifted one taking each arm.

SERVANT 1
He is unconscious my Lord Doom.

SERVANT 2
And he smells of alcohol.

DOOM
Take him to my laboratories. He obviously is one of the powered fools to have survived that fall. He may provide some useful knowledge in his stupidity.

6-The servants drag The Captain away.

Page 2

1- The Captain wakes up and smashes the two servants together face first.

2-The Captain looking at Doom,the servants at his feet.

THE CAPTAIN
Nobody calls me stupid.Let’s do this Tinman.

DOOM
Your insults are as childish as your actions. I shall not show you mercy fool. You have invaded my country and my home. For this Doom does not give quarter.

THE CAPTAIN
I wasn’t looking for bus fare anyway.

3- The Captain launches himself at Doom.

4- Doom blasts him with a beam in his gauntlet.

5-The Captain(now smoking from the beam hit) slams into Doom’s chest .

DOOM
Stronger than I had anticipated. That shall be my last underestimation of you.

6-Doom grabs The Captain by his coat and swings him back and behind him into the wall.

THE CAPTAIN
That all you got? I got hit harder once by a third grader.

DOOM
Your insults bore me.

THE CAPTAIN
No seriously. I asked some kid once to borrow some money for a six pack and he punched me right in the gut. Took me like three minutes to compose myself.

DOOM
ENOUGH!

1-Doom unleashes a salvo of mini missiles from his wrists.

2- The Captain dodges most of them but is hit by the last two.

Page 3

SFX-KABOOM

3-The Captain stands but is wobbling.

THE CAPTAIN
Take more than that to put me down.

4-The Captain flies at Doom again.

5-Doom side steps but The Captain stops.

6- The Captain punches Doom five times in the face with alternating lefts and rights.

7-Doom(his mask now dented and beyond repair) cocks his arm back and punches The Captain in the face.

8- The Captain tumbles back and regains his balance as he lands on one knee.

THE CAPTAIN
Feel like giving up?

DOOM
You cannot begin to comprehend the pain I shall inflict upon you as I kill you.

THE CAPTAIN
Can’t say that I could. I don't even know what comprehend means.

The two fly at each other and just as they are about to collide.

Page 4

MONICA RAMBEAU
OK that’s enough!

1-Coming in through the hole in the wall is Tabitha Smith, Aaron Stack and Monica Rambeau. Elsa Bloodstone stands on the bricks inside the hole.

THIS IS A RARE APPEARANCE BY NEXTWAVE! YOU’RE WELCOME.

MONICA RAMBEAU
Cap stop this right now.

THE CAPTAIN
But I was just about to kick his ass....

MONICA RAMBEAU
No Cap this is an unsanctioned attack and could be perceived as an act of war. Get your ass in this Shockwave Rider NOW!

2-Flies up away from Doom towards the hole he made.

3- As he flies out through the hole Elsa Bloodstone smacks him in the back of the head.

ELSA BLOODSTONE
Wanker.

MONICA RAMBEAU
We apologize for this Dr.Doom. I had no idea these idiots did this.

DOOM
Ah "Captain Marvel". I thought you dead. What do you mean by idiots?

4-Monica looks back at Aaron who is trying not to look at her.

MONICA RAMBEAU
Aaron?

5- Aaron walks up to Doom and hands him a beer.

DOOM
What is this?

AARON STACK
Your beer mostly fleshy one.

DOOM
What is this foolishness?

AARON STACK
I lost my bet.

DOOM
Bet?

Page 5

INT. NEXTWAVE’S FLOATING HEADQUARTERS. A FEW HOURS AGO.

1-The Captain and Aaron Stack are drinking beers together and are very drunk.

THE CAPTAIN
I will bet you your last beer I can kick Doom’s ass!

AARON STACK
He would annihilate you! I will wager my last beer he would not only defeat you but you would not lay one hand on him!

THE CAPTAIN
Done. And if I get one hit in on him you have to give Doom your last beer there!

AARON STACK
HA! The sweet taste of victory is mine foolish fleshy!

INT. CASTLE DOOM. THRONE ROOM. NOW

1-Doom takes the beer and crushes it in his hand.

DOOM
Leave my country now. And never return. For if you do I shall destroy you all.

TABITHA SMITH
Chill out Doom and gloom. We didn’t want to come here in the first place.

2- The Nextwave squad leaves. Monica carries Tabitha and Aaron carries Elsa out of the hole. The Captain is hovering outside waiting for them.

MONICA RAMBEAU
I swear to God sometimes I wish I was back in the Avengers.

TABITHA SMITH
You always wish that.

MONICA RAMBEAU
Shut up X-Force reject.

THE CAPTAIN
Can we stop for some beer? I sobered up on the flight over here.

[Zepster]

Ok, I’ve gone with Professor X and needed a young/vulnerable(ish) non X telepath to go with. I found Snowfall (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/snowfall.htm ) a powerful yet very young telepath that fit the bill for what I wanted.

Other than that – This is set a few years in the past of the current timeline.

Crits etc.. very welcome

Quick Synopsis ( rather than a pitch )

Warning: Spoilers!

A sleeping Professor X is awakened by a scream emanating from the astral plane. There he discovers a young mutant, Snowfall, being hunted by an astral predator. He intervenes only to discover that she had allowed herself to be hunted in order to draw out the beast that has been stalking her for months. However during his confrontation with the beast the Professor learned that it was but one of a pack of such creatures. Creatures that stalk and slay immature telepaths ( children ) on the astral plane. The Professor surmises that the existence of these creatures explains a relative lack of telepaths in the world. The Professor and Snowfall feign apparent weakness to encourage the creatures to gather that they may destroy the witnesses and thus ensure their secret. Too late the creatures discover the Professor’s ruse as he joins with Snowfall to destroy the pack.

Snowfallen

Page 1

Panel 1

The X-mansion from above/outside. It’s autumn and the setting sun is casting long shadows over the mansion and surrounding forests. An idyllic scene.

Caption: WESTCHESTER COUNTY

Caption: XAVIER’S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUNGSTERS

Caption: BASE OF THE MUTANT ADVENTURERS KNOWN AS THE X-MEN

Panel 2

Close in on the exterior of the building, right outside Professor X’s office , we can see partially inside, but very little detail. The Professor’s chair facing the fireplace maybe.

Caption: THEY ARE LED BY THE GREATEST TELEPATHIC MIND THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN

Caption: A VISIONARY, A TEACHER, A GUARDIAN

JEAN(OOS): PROFESSOR?

Panel 3

f/g Jean poking her head through the door

b/g The Professor in his chair from behind

Caption: THE CURATOR OF THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF MUTANT KIND

JEAN: PROFESSOR XAVIER?

JEAN(link): OH

Panel 4

f/g Professor X fast asleep in his chair, a half spilled file of documents on his lap

b/g A smiling Jean gently closing the door as she exits the room

JEAN(Whisper): I’LL CALL BACK LATER

Caption: A MAN ENJOYING A WELL EARNED AFTERNOON NAP

Panel 5

Close in on the Professor’s face, it is drawn/anguished. He is not having a good dream

Caption: YET EVEN SLEEP IS NO ESCAPE FROM HIS MANY BURDENS

Page 2

Panel 1

POV of a young girl ( Snowfall ) as she frantically attempts to run through then undergrowth/thick bushes of a snow covered forest. This is within the astral plane, so we’ll need a few touches of the surreal to help establish this. Its dark/evening time.

Snowfall: AHH HAA HUH HUH

A small note: We’re within the Astral plane so I’d like all the dialog here to be thought bubbles but not the traditional cloud style and definitely no originating dots.

Panel 2

Snowfall in a small clearing in the winter ethereal forest. She is terrified looking about in fear as she catches her breath. The undergrowth is dense/dark. This is a pure nightmare, so intimating trees/dark shadows ( without evil faces on the trees mind you! ). Her clothes are in tatters from running through the brush.

Snowfall: HUH HUH

Panel 3

f/g Snowfall, close in on her face from the side maybe as she reacts in terror to

b/g The silhouette of a large wolf like creature, relatively indistinct due to the undergrowth, with red glowing eyes that faces her. The creature is an astral predator and part of a pack, hence the wolf like appearance, but please take whatever liberties you need to enhance its look.

SNOWFALL: GASP

SFX: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Panel 4

Back in his office. Professor X awaking suddenly and distressed

Prof X: A SCREAM!

SFX: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

( note: The scream is emanating from the astral plane, so if we could do something to indicate its ethereal nature )

Panel 5

The professor in his classic hands to temples pose doing his mind vibe thing

Prof X: I SENSE NO DANGER NEARBY AND YET… THE SCREAM WAS REAL. I’M SURE OF IT

Page 3

Panel 1

Snowfall in the clearing, it’s snowing lightly. The wolf beast, as much misty shadow as substance, circling, stalking. Paw prints in the snow to show this maybe
Snow Fall has picked up some deadwood and is holding it uncertainly. Plucky perhaps but terrified and by the way she is holding the cudgel will not be offering much resistance

Snowfall: GO GO AWAY

SFX: GRRRRRRRRRR

Panel 2

Close in on the wolf beast’s opened maw as it attacks. Lots of saliva and very sharp fangs, its eyes are wide and glowing malevolently.

WOLFBEAST: SNARRRLLLL

Panel 3

f/g A surprised but still angry and formidable Wolf Beast

m/g Prof X in all his astral glory, one arm raised with a shield of light the other wielding an astral sword. The professor has used his shield to repel the creature’s attack

b/g Snowfall on the ground – angrily looking at Prof X

PROF X(Thought Burst): BACK CREATURE!

Panel 4

Professor X facing off the creature, behind him Snowfall is shifting to her adult form

SNOWFALL: YOU’VE RUINED IT. THAT THING HAS BEEN STALKING ME FOR MONTHS AND

PROF X: YOU’D FINALLY LURED IT INTO THE OPEN. VERY BRAVE GIRL BUT VERY VERY FOOLISH.

SNOWFALL: BUT IF IT GETS AWAY I’LL BE BACK TO WHERE I STARTED

Panel 5

f/g A very determined Prof X staring out to where we think the beast is

b/g His hand clasping hers ( this is important. They need to be making contact ).

Her face has a look of startled confusion. Prof X is using the contact to share his thoughts/plan with her covertly.

PROF X: I’VE SEEN ITS THOUGHTS. IT WON’T

Page 4

Panel 1

The creature attacking, knocking the Professor aside and almost at Snowfall’s throat

PROF X: LOOK OUT

SNOWFALL: NO

Panel 2

The Creature has SnowFall pinned to the ground and is going for her throat. She is vainly attempting to push it back

CREATURE: RAWWRRRR

Note: Can we give the creature something special with its lettering/bubble to indicate that it’s evil as hell please

Panel 3

Prof X blasting the creature aside with a mind bolt, but hasn't knocked it very far. He looks though as if he was giving it everything he had

PROFX: AWAY BEAST. YOU DON’T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DEFEAT US

Panel 4

The Creature close in, a savage vulpine grin on its face

CREATURE: FOOL. YOU’RE WEAKER THAN I EXPECTED

Panel 5

The Professor and Snowfall both looking shocked and about in surprise, assuming defensive positions

PROFX: BY GOD

SNOWFALL: MORE OF THEM

Page 5

Panel 1

The Professor and Snowfall surrounded by a massive pack of wolf beasts, THE wolfbeast is closer to our heroes in advance of the pack. Both heroes still in defensive stances, guarding each other’s back, astral weapons ready.

PROFX: IT WAS ONLY BUYING TIME

SNOWFALL: THERE ARE SO MANY

Panel 2

The wolfbeast, behind it the pack, all savage/feral, even more pack beasts arriving/visible

WOLFBEAST: THE CHILD WAS SIMPLY FOOD

SFX(multiple): GRRRRRRRRRRR

Panel 3

The professor, serene, his sword glinting, behind him Snowfall is watching his back. The Wolf beasts are drawing nearer

PROFESSOR: YES I’VE WONDERED FOR SOME TIME WHY THERE ARE SO FEW TELEPATHS IN THE WORLD BUT NOW I KNOW. YOU AND YOUR KIND HUNT THEM DON’T YOU? CHILDREN TOO WEAK TO RESIST YOU

WOLFBEAST: YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT WILL BE SHORT LIVED

Panel 4

The professor and snowfall holding hands, becoming pure energy, their weapons gone, the Wolf Beast uncertain/backing up

PROFESSOR: ONCE DISCOVERED BY AN ADULT THOUGH. TOO WEAK TO KILL ME ALONE YOU HAD TO GATHER YOUR PACK TO ENSURE YOUR SECRET WAS SAFE

WOLFBEAST: YOU. YOU KNEW. YOU ALLOWED US TO GATHER. TO DRAW US IN..

Panel 5

The Professor/Snowfall becoming a psionic nuke, fleeing wolfbeasts being shredded/vaporised

Panel 6

The professor and snowfall standing in the clearing, lots of melted snow, all that remains of the pack are shadows in the ground. Snow is falling heavily now

SNOWFALL: I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ONE. HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE OTHERS?

PROFX: I DIDN’T UNTIL IT HIT MY SHIELD. THEN I KNEW EVERYTHING

SNOWFALL: IS IT OVER?

PROFX: FOR A TIME AT LEAST. I’LL SPREAD THE WORD TO OTHERS LIKE US. WE’LL BE WATCHING FOR THEM NOW.

[manyflushes]

"The one who could not see."

Page One

Panel One:

Black Panther (BP) running toward the reader fast with a fallen tree lying upon the foreground.

Caption: Wikanda, 2011.
SFX: Hooff Hooff Hoooff

Panel Two:

A mid-air jump over the tree. Action shot.

SFX: Huuuuff!

Panel Three:

A back shot of "BP" landing on the ground with his arms spread out flat, and landing on one knee.

SFX: Oomff

Panel Four:

With blurred lines for a backdrop we see "BP's" leg's caught in a running motion.

SFX: Hoof Hoof Hoof

Panel Five:

A slanted birds eye view of "BP" now out of what was the forest and onto cleared ground. A hospital of medium size is in the distance with a shot of the sun setting.

Black Panther Caption: Yes, Xavier. I know your team has failed, and you as well. I will succeed.


Page Two

Panel One:

Close up on "BP's" gloved hand sliding a key card into the door lock.

Caption: 3:00am

Panel Two:

Looking past "BP" in the doorway we can see staff. Some cowering down. Others holding their ears.

SFX: YEEAAHHH!

Panel Three:

Close up on "BP" yelling.

"BP": I'm going to have to move everyone outside the building. Come on people. This is not a drill.

Panel Four:

"BP" inching torward a darkened cell as staff run holding the ears past him.

SFX: Yeeeaahhh!

Panel Five:

An angry look on "BP's" face as he puts on earplugs.

-no dialogue-

Panel Six:

Upper body shot of "BP" grasping the cell's bars with a wicked smile on his face.

"BP": Long time no see, Banshee.


Page Three

Panel One:

Shot from Banshee in restraints on a bed looking up at Black Panther "BP" now entering the cell.

"BP": You don't look well.

Panel Two:

Close up on "BP".

"BP": I'm here to help. It's come to my attention that you've battled the master of magnetism, and won.

Panel Three:

A shot of Banshee's face. Attention on the eye's. Bloodshot and tired. Mouth raging with adrenaline, and some sweat dripping from his brow.

Banshee: If he's dead then why IS HE right THERE!

Panel Four:

Struggling to move, and motioning to Black Panther as to say, "why am i restrained" Banshee yells.

Banshee: And why am i RESTRAINED?!

Panel Five:

With Black Panther at his bedside talking, and Banshee trying hard to kick and free himself a distorted Magneto has bent the cell bars, and is floating inward.

"BP": You are restrained at the request of Proffesor X.

Banshee: HE'S going to KILL us BOTH! LET ME GO!


Page Four

Panel One:

Looking over Black Panther's shoulders is a shot of Magneto's hands around Banshee's neck. Banshee is terrified.

"BP": Banshee? Have you ever heard the story of the boy who could not see?

Panel Two:

"BP" telling a story using his arms and facial features.

"BP": Smart kid. One problem! He could not see how much he loved the world. He would not let it out of his sight.

Panel Three:

Close up on Banshee's open eye.

"BP" Caption: He loved it so much that he never slept. He had to be awake for every single moment.

Panel Four:

Black Panther crouches down pointing/motioning at Banshee. Magneto (distorted) with one hand around Banshee's neck and the other going to punch.

"BP": The point is the boy went mad. He saw things that turned his world upside down. He was like you!

Panel Five:

A close up shot of "BP" whispering into Banshee's ear.

"BP": I'm here to fix what no one else can fix. I'm going to fix the boy...The boy who could not see.


Page Five

Panel One:

Foreground: The back of Banshee's head tilted up looking at Black Panther who is clenching his fist.

"BP": Shall we begin?

Panel Two:

"BP" punches Banshee in the head jilting his face to the side. Banshee's eyes closed.

SFX: Krakk!

Panel Three:

Medium close up on Banshee who looks rested having just been punched.

-No Dialogue-

Panel Four:

Close up on Black Panther speaking. A shadowy figure (BP).

"BP" Caption: Now the boy who could not see will wake and forget the dark side of love.

Panel Five:

"BP" closing Banshee's cell gate with his back to us is about to make his way down the hall to the front door.

"BP" Caption: We will meet again.

Panel Six:

A medium distant shot of Black Panther leaning against the open front door looking up at the moon.


The End

Note: I wanted to post the story. I still have to figure out how to pin on a pic and the wikipedia. I don't think i can vote, but thanks for reading anyway. -MF

[cbikle]

These are compiled 5 page DC scripts or excerpts of DC scripts. Feel free to use for portfolio pieces and give a heads up to the writer who's work you're using.

P.S. If any of the writers of these pieces want them removed, let me know and I'll do it.

[BullyJack]

This is great. I drew the first page and would like to keep going optimally. Let me know if you have more stuff or where I can get fun scripts like this.