Writing Contest # 66: "Letting Go Of The Past Or Getting The Past To Let Go Of You"

[Favorite-N]

@Decisions Decisions

That was a really fun read. I think it may be my favorite of the bunch. It doesn't seem like it needs anything else, I would always like to read more details but the speed and flow of the read it's not that important.. Really liked it.


@ The Ghost and the Time Machine - another strong entry Fabian. The only thing I would point out is the extreme slapstick characters in such a serious story. I know crossing humor with drama works well together but for some reason, maybe its just their names, just made it too silly that the dramatic element was hindered.

[Fabianran]

@ The Ghost and the Time Machine - another strong entry Fabian. The only thing I would point out is the extreme slapstick characters in such a serious story. I know crossing humor with drama works well together but for some reason, maybe its just their names, just made it too silly that the dramatic element was hindered.

Aw man! It was so not my intention for their names to be silly...
Since the story takes place in the past, I thought their names were Golden Age appropriate. :/
Machinist: I tried to come up with a name that referenced the Great Machine from Ex Machina and would also show that he built all of his weapons.
Gray Gremlin: Since the story was inspired by the Death of Gwen Stacy I did a play on words, Green Goblin/Gray Gremlin. Since they would have put on their costumes during WWII, I felt it would be fitting to have the arch enemy of a machine based character be a gremlin.
Captain Victory: Just a basic patriotic hero. All of those names are kinda silly if you think about it. If it was my intention to be silly I would have named him GENERAL CAPITALISM or Democracy Man. Captain North America... hahaha Captain Victory could pass as a real 40's hero. Hell, I bet there is one.
Professor Maniac: I thought that was cool...
Anyway, again, not my intention to throw humor in there at all.
Oh, well. :/

[cbikle]

Summer Of Blood XXI: The Final Chapter - The Rehabilitation of Sonny Summers

PAGE 1

Panel 1
On a bleak and rainy day, Professor Donald Haddonfield arrives at the front gates of the sanitarium, Amity House.

The layout should look somewhat reminiscent of the poster for The Exorcist. Amity House should look somewhat ominous in spite of all the reconstruction it has received since the fire of '98.

Somewhere on the panel there should be a sign with the Value Circle logo (which is basically a stylized green "V" inside of a circle with the "V" designed to look like a check-mark) with the following text beside the logo:

AMITY HOUSE REHABILITATION INSTITUTE

PART OF THE VALUE CIRCLE FAMILY SINCE 1999

We only see the back of Haddonfield in this panel, but I'll describe him here anyways:

Professor Donald Haddonfield appears to be in his early 70's (actually, he's in his 80's). His distinguished New England good looks and academic demeanor are at odds with the lifetime of physical scarring he has received. He wears an eyepatch over his missing right eye and his face bears the history of scarring from knife-wounds and 3rd degree burns. He is missing two fingers from his left hand which clutches an ornate cane that he uses to help walk with. It's not really something you can show in a comic, but Haddonfield walks with a pronounced limp.

Haddonfield is unshaven and is wearing a classic raincoat over traditional and tasteful attire fitting for an academic of higher learning.


THOUGHT CAPTION- HADDONFIELD: They've buried all the blood and terror under fresh paint.

Panel 2
We now see a flashback of Haddonfield firing a handgun at Sonny Summers as he rushes at him with an axe. The panel should look like late 90's film stock if possible. Haddonfield looks a little younger, but not much.

Sonny Summers is the epitome of a cinematic psycho-slasher. 7 feet tall and 300 lbs. of evil-fueled muscle covered by overalls and flannel with his face being concealed by his trademark burlap-bag mask.

CAPTION: Summer Of Blood XIX: Sonny Comes Home (1997, Tri-World Pictures)

Panel 3
We're now in an elevator. Inside is Dr. Haddonfield and a young, unarmed security guard with a smirk on his face. Haddonfield is facing us but looking up at the elevator light the way most people do when on an elevator and waiting for their floor.

GUARD: So you used to work here, huh ?
GUARD: We don't get too many visits from you old-school employees.

Panel 4
Same panel as above, but now the security guard has a shocked look on his face.

HADDONFIELD: That's because they were all murdered...
HADDONFIELD: Murdered here.
HADDONFIELD: Two on this very elevator.

Panel 5
In the hallway outside the elevators, Martin Vaughn meets up with Haddonfield and introduces himself as he shakes hands with Haddonfield.

Martin Vaughn is your typical, white-haired corporate executive with a professional and polished demeanor with a hint of condescension; Martin Vaughn is the kind of role that would be played by character actors ( a slightly younger ) Ronny Cox or Bruce Davison.

MARTIN VAUGHN: Hi, Professor Haddonfield ...?
MARTIN VAUGHN: I'm Martin Vaughn, I manage this facility.
HADDONFIELD: Hello...
HADDONFIELD: Are you a doctor ?
MARTIN VAUGHN: No, my background is in finance and resource management in the pharmaceutical division of the Value Circle corporation.

Panel 6
They're now in Vaughn's spacious office. The office decor is no-nonsense professional with a thin veneer of personality, much like Vaughn himself. Attached to the wall is a flatscreen tv/security monitor.

VAUGHN: So how's retirement ?
VAUGHN: In a few years I'll be joining you in that club...
VAUGHN: Please, have a seat.
HADDONFIELD: Thank you.
VAUGHN: OK. I assume you're here about the Summers case...

PAGE 2

Panel 1
Now sitting across from Vaughn, Haddonfield seems ill at ease. Vaughn seems the complete opposite of that.

HADDONFIELD: I'd heard some disturbing reports...
HADDONFIELD: Why is security so lax ?
HADDONFIELD: Why aren't the guards armed ?
VAUGHN: Too cost-prohibitive and unnecessary at this time...
VAUGHN: ...Sonny has made remarkable progress since...

Panel 2
Flashback: On the roof of a house, we see a chainsaw-wielding Sonny Summers rushing at Haddonfield, who is reaching for his gun with a look of grim determination on his face.

DIALOGUE CAPTION-VAUGHN (ideally placed at top of panel): Well, since you saw him last.
CAPTION (bottom of panel): Summer Of Blood XX: The Return Of Sonny Summers (1998, Tri-World Pictures)

Panel 3
We're now back in the office. Leaning forward, Haddonfield seems to be growing more agitated with nervous energy and Vaughn has an "I'm embarrassed for you" look on his face.

HADDONFIELD: You're familiar with the case ?
HADDONFIELD: You've read my files ?
VAUGHN: Yes...
VAUGHN: Yes I've read your files...

Panel 4
Flashback to events as Vaughn describes them in his narration text. In the below panel, we see a sinister-looking gathering of gypsies (traditional gypsy clothing and appearance, but festooned with occult symbols
and ceremonial accoutrements) gathered around a fire where some sort of unlucky animal is being cooked alive as it rotates over the fire on a spit.

This panel should have a yellowed and scratchy look like vintage film stock from the late 60's.

DIALOGUE CAPTION- VAUGHN:
"In the early 60's, a coven of Gypsy-Witches, who lived in the woods, performed all manner of
unspeakable acts in their rituals..."

Panel 5
Flashback: In the foreground, we see one of the townspeople holding and caring for an infant while in the background, we see a mob of gun-toting angry townies attacking and killing the Gypsy-Witches.

This panel should have a dark and scratchy look reminiscent of early 70's exploitation films.

DIALOGUE CAPTION- VAUGHN: "Eventually the town had enough and tried and failed to drive the gypsies out peacefully; things escalated and, in a haze of bloodlust, the town murdered the tribe of gypsies - all but one; an infant belonging to the matriarch of the gypsy tribe, who in her dying breath cursed the townspeople and their children.

Panel 6
Flashback: We see the inside of the blood-strewn Summers household. In the foreground we see a bloody hand reaching up in desperation, while in the background, we see the open front door that Sonny has fled through. This panel should have that "flashbacky", soft focus look as if it were filmed in the late 70's (still dark film grain, but more polished).

DIALOGUE CAPTION- VAUGHN: "The infant was taken in an raised by the Summers family (who named him "Sonny"), until his 5th birthday, when he murdered them and disappeared but lived on as an urban legend who stalked the woods."

CAPTION: Summer Of Blood (1978, Tri-World Pictures)


PAGE 3

Panel 1
Flashback: In the middle of a lake, we see Sonny Summers holding up a harpoon that has skewered two teenagers and the inflatable raft they were making out in. The teenagers look like 70's teenagers (bellbottom pants, the white guy has one of those weird afro-perms, etc.)

DIALOGUE CAPTION- VAUGHN: "Fast forward, 13 years later, Sonny Summers returns and terrorizes teenagers from 1978 and only ending once he was captured in 1998."

CAPTION: Summer Of Blood II: "Sonny's Back !" (1979, Tri-World Pictures)

Panel 2

Flashback: We see Sonny in front of the famous Hollywood sign as he beheads a young starlet, her head spinning in the air.

CAPTION: Summer Of Blood VIII: Sonny Does Hollywood (1986, Tri-World Home Video)

Panel 3

Flashback: This flashback panel will look different than the previous ones. Instead of a cinematic look, this panel will look more like a promotional poster.

In this panel , in some sort of demonic boxing or wrestling type ring with flames in the background, we see the 7ft. tall , Sonny Summers holding a fire-axe facing off against a truly evil-looking 2ft. tall gingerbread man wielding a kitchen knife.

TEXT: TITANS OF TERROR FACE OFF !
TEXT: SONNY VS. THE GINGERBREAD MANIAC !
TEXT: SUMMER 1994 !

Panel 4
We're now back in the office and Vaughn has a sheepish, "what-do-you-expect-me-to-do-with-this ?" look on his face while Haddonfield replies to him with conviction.

VAUGHN: Look...
VAUGHN: I can't send this to corporate, if I---
HADDONFIELD: Everything
HADDONFIELD: Every. Terrible. Thing recorded in those files...
HADDONFIELD: ...Happened.

Panel 5
Not facing Vaughn or us, a wild-eyed Haddonfield starts to talk to no one in particular and comes off slightly unhinged.

HADDONFIELD: Sonny Summers is...
HADDONFIEELD: He's absolute evil.

Panel 6
Vaughn turns on his wall monitor/TV.

VAUGHN: What ? Listen to yourself.
VAUGHN: It's been a long and troubled journey, but Sonny Summers is on the road to rehabilitation
VAUGHN: Look for yourself.

PAGE 4

Panel 1
On the wall-mounted monitor, we see Sonny in the common area of the group ward. There are other patients and hospital staff in this area, all calmly doing their own thing.

Apparently, it's someone's birthday today as Sonny is in the front of the line for birthday cake and a nurse is handing him a piece of it (tiny plate with a plastic fork).

Sonny looks different here than how we've seen him before. He's still 7 ft. tall and muscular, but he's wearing a robe over ill-fitting pajamas and his grotesque face is covered with bandages instead of his trademark burlap-mask.

Panel 2
As Vaughn starts to explain, Haddonfield flips out; enraged over seeing Sonny conscious, unrestrained
and interacting with hospital staff and patients.

VAUGHN: We had to discontinue that medical cocktail you had him on and---
HADDONFIELD: ARE YOU INSANE, HE --- !
VAUGHN: Those meds were the equivalent of an elephant-tranquilizer; besides the daily expense, it's a miracle that they didn't cause any organ damage, which would have left us vulnerable to a lawsuit.

Panel 3
Flashback: On a dimly lit road at night, we see Sonny getting run over by a speeding Dodge Charger with Haddonfield (who still has both eyes at this point in his life) at the wheel.

DIALOGUE CAPTION -VAUGHN: Over the years, most of his limbs have been severed and crudely reattached and he's suffered more head-trauma than a dozen professional boxers would receive in a lifetime !

DIALOGUE CAPTION -VAUGHN: Additionally, Sonny has recently been diagnosed with arthritis and Type II diabetes.

DIALOGUE CAPTION -VAUGHN: He really shouldn't be having that birthday cake.

CAPTION: Summer Of Blood VII: The Revenge Of Sonny Summers ! (1985, Tri-World Pictures)

Panel 4
Flashback: In the woods, we see Sonny, completely immolated on fire and stumbling towards Haddonfield (again, still with both eyes) and a young teenage girl with 80's hair and cut-off jeans.

VAUGHN: Time catches up to all of us, even seemingly indestructible serial-killers from the 80’s.
VAUGHN: Which brings me to you...
CAPTION: Summer Of Blood VI: The Bride Of Sonny Summers ! (1984, Tri-World Pictures)

Panel 5
We're back in the office. Vaughn is sympathetic yet condescending while Haddonfield seems confused, uncertain and about to blow up again.

VAUGHN: Your dedication to this case is admirable, but it's time for you to enjoy your remaining years.
VAUGHN: You got the bad guy. You won. Reconnect with your family, take up golf...

Panel 6
Haddonfield explodes at Vaughn, but Vaughn stands his ground and yells back.

HADDONFIELD: HE NEEDS TO BE MEDICATED AND RESTRAINED !!!

VAUGHN: "DOCTOR", WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE HIM CHAINED AND DRUGGED UP LIKE A WILD ANIMAL !

HADDONFIELD: A WILD ANIMAL ?!?

HADDONFIELD: YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY, HE'S THE DEVIL INCARNATE !!!

PAGE 5
Panel 1
Regaining his composure, Vaughn tries to calm down and reason with Haddonfield while still insulting him.
Haddonfield seems distracted by something he sees on the wall-monitor which he is pointing at (it's off panel).

VAUGHN: What the hell happened to you ?
VAUGHN: This obsession with Sonny Summers has cost you career, your family and apparently, your sanity.
VAUGHN: I see a pathetic and lonely old man who misses the excitement and attention
VAUGHN: It truly would be tragic to see you spending your remaining years as a patient in the same facility you once worked.
HADDONFIELD: Look...

Panel 2
On the wall-monitor, we see Sonny looking at them (and us), as he is staring up directly into the camera for the common area.

HADDONFIELD: He knows I'm here.

VAUGHN: That's...

VAUGHN: That's impossible...

Panel 3
We're now back outside Amity House, with Haddonfield opening the trunk of his Dodge Charger. Somehow, Haddonfield seems a little younger and there's even a hint of a smile on his face.

THOUGHT CAPTION-HADDONFIELD: That fool has underestimated you...
THOUGHT CAPTION-HADDONFIELD: But I haven't.

Panel 4
Looking over his shoulder, we see the arsenal that Haddonfield has collected in the trunk of his car. There are handguns, an assault rifle, a sawed-off shotgun, a few grenades, a few ready-made molotov cocktails, etc.

Haddonfield does seem to have a slight look of doubt on his face.

THOUGHT CAPTION-HADDONFIELD: Unless...
THOUGHT CAPTION-HADDONFIELD: Unless Vaughn is right about me...

Panel 5

In this panel, we're back in Vaughn's office as he looks up at his wall-monitor. We can't see what he's looking at, but we know who his focus is on.

Vaughn no longer seems to be his old, condescending, self-assured self. He seems definitely uncertain and nervous.

Panel 6
In the foreground, we see Sonny Summers standing at the window of the common area looking outside.

In the background, over Sonny's shoulder, we see what he's looking at: Haddonfield's Charger driving away.

The End ?

[Shaun]

@ Fabianran, THE GHOST AND THE TIME MACHINE

Intense story with a lot packed in five pages. I really felt for Ray and totally bought his motivation for doing anything to be reunited with his love.

Not sure the mixing of pulp characters/setting and tormented psychological drama worked for me. If the dialogue had been darker to match the tone it would have just been noir, which might have been cleaner. Also I'm not sure introducing the Grey Gremlin bought you much, since it's such a short story it might have been cleaner without. The important part, in my opinion, is that Ray blames himself for Grace's death. How she actually died is less important than how Ray feels about it. These are just matter of opinion though. I have no critiques for the technical aspect, your work is always superb in that regard.

[Shaun]

@ Cbikle, Summer Of Blood XXI: The Final Chapter - The Rehabilitation of Sonny Summers

This is a really fun grab bag of horror/slasher film references. I really liked the way panels were snapshots from films based on Sonny with the title and year of release. Was the idea that all these films were accurately based on Sonny's actual rampages or was it Hollywood just taking his crimes and exaggerating them? The gingerbread man thing is what made me question all the other film panels.

The action on page 5, panel 1 was a little confusing, was the line "What the hell happened to you ?" meant to be Vaughn's reaction to Haddonfield? Apart from that I didn't catch any mistakes/typos.

My only real crit would be the story is a bit of a tease. By design of course, you did a great job setting up the characters and the world and really leaving the reader wanting to know what will happen... but then we don't. I really wanted to know if Sonny was reformed and if Haddonfield would take matters into his own hands. Hopefully you'll continue this one at some point.

[cbikle]

Was the idea that all these films were accurately based on Sonny's actual rampages or was it Hollywood just taking his crimes and exaggerating them? The gingerbread man thing is what made me question all the other film panels.

Nah, the flashbacks actually happened as shown (even his crossover with the Gingerbread Maniac, another Tri-World Pictures horror icon/franchise), but I just presented them as though they were film clips from the Summer Of Blood franchise.

The action on page 5, panel 1 was a little confusing, was the line "What the hell happened to you ?" meant to be Vaughn's reaction to Haddonfield? Apart from that I didn't catch any mistakes/typos.

Hey thanks for pointing that out; I completely missed that (I was kind of rushing through this one). I fixed it.

My only real crit would be the story is a bit of a tease. By design of course, you did a great job setting up the characters and the world and really leaving the reader wanting to know what will happen... but then we don't. I really wanted to know if Sonny was reformed and if Haddonfield would take matters into his own hands. Hopefully you'll continue this one at some point.

Yeah, I kind of wanted to end it on an uncertain note. At the end of the story, both Haddonfield and Vaughn are really reconsidering their earlier positions and we have absolutely no idea what's running through Sonny's head.

Two possible outcomes:

1 Sonny breaks out of Amity House and engages on another rampage until confronted by Haddonfield, perhaps for the final time (coming soon, Summer Of Blood XXII: The Final Conflict - 2012, Tri-World Media) or...

2 Haddonfield reaches out to Sonny and is able to help him on his path of rehabilitation, perhaps helping him comprehend and regret all the death and terror his actions have caused, maybe visiting the families and gravesites of all of his victims to apologize and gain some degree of closure (this would pretty much end the Summer Of Blood franchise).

I think a definitive ending would disappoint, so I left it unresolved.

I know that sounds like a cop-out, but that's only because it is.

Anyways, thanks again for reading and I'm glad you liked it.

[Shaun]

Yeah, I get your reasoning. And I vote for outcome number 1, MORE BLOOD!!!

[cbikle]

Hey all the poll is up (I'll add in any last minute entries if they're posted before midnight or so).

Big turnout again and I wanted to once again welcome and thank all the new members for participating as well as welcoming back a few longtime members.

[Shaun]

No JT? Just isn't the same.

[Greg Anderson]

UGH!!!! I'm stressing out so much over my ****in film right now, I just want to punch someone. I was gonna ask if we can push the deadline to Tuesday or something. If not, understandable.