completed page

[B. Smith]

wow... interesting... that a real good page there...

[What?]

Interesting character development.

I bet the ******-Guy dies first!

[BarrettStokes]

I really dig the art and the style you've created. Seems like it will be a cool book, though Ive only seen the 2 pages.

A couple a critiques...
1. The dialogue is pretty cliche and feels generic, and the Ebonics especially detract from story. I'm sure it's supposed to be in the vein of Aliens or Predator, but it doesn't feel authentic or real IMO.

2. The call signs... Red fox, I think Sanford and son. Red bull, I think ... and vodka This is obviously a minor nit pick on my part.

3. I think you need one more panel to transition from the soldiers looking and listening to the enemy crashing onto the scene. Maybe a low angle of a dude in a medium close-up looking around with strange expression or posture while in the background we see the thing dropping through the sky.
4. As stated earlier, the SFX fonts need work and should be integrated into the panel layout better.
5. "aparently" is spelled wrong. It has 2 p's.

Overall, I think you have done nice job. And hope to see more of this as it comes along. Keep up the hardwork and I think you'll have a winner.

[jdmakescomics]

Typo. Page 1 panel 2. You're, not your.

[TheFightingFoetus]

B.Smith- "I completely disagree with you guys, as an african american (actually mixed) it is really offensive. That "N" word is never acceptable, ever. The slang term, with the a ending could possibly slide (such as nigga please, or something humorous), but its still an iffy issue, if i were you, i would think of the people that you easily can offend and remove the word, and exchange it, its not like you can use many other words. You can get your point across by using different words, its not going to be that difficult to do."

Let us then ban books like A Raisin in the Sun, because a word should *NEVER* be used.

Of course, if the word is never used then in time people will forget why it was used in the first place, but hey, let's just ban words. They can hurt you, after all.

[Beastie]

I've removed my thought and comments about the use of the N word.

After some thought, this thread probably isn't the place to have such a discussion - and the art should not be overshadowed by a debate - especially as the artist has now decided to remove the word from the page.

[JPS017]

I completely disagree with you guys, as an african american (actually mixed) it is really offensive. That "N" word is never acceptable, ever. The slang term, with the a ending could possibly slide (such as nigga please, or something humorous), but its still an iffy issue, if i were you, i would think of the people that you easily can offend and remove the word, and exchange it, its not like you can use many other words. You can get your point across by using different words, its not going to be that difficult to do.

But to get to any critics, this is actually a solid first page, the only minor critic i would say (besides my ramble) is the odd lettering in your CAP: SOMEWHERE.

But what about a book/film/tv show which is depicting realistic life situations? Say, like The Wire. Should they not use the word in things like that? It's an offensive word and I don't like it, but if the context is right in a story then it should be used.

I hate guns and killing, should I not watch or read anything involving them?

[B. Smith]

I dont want my opinion of the word to overshadow his work, his art is pretty good, and lets try to only respond to his art, not the debate over using the N word, that could be a topic on the board...