View Full Version : Six Pages with Six Shooters
Ever just find a story that you forgot you wrote?
Going through my hard drive looking for an old script I did and found this western piece - WAITING (http://www.wojr.com/waiting_script.htm).
Any comments or critique you guys (or ladies) can offer would be much appreciated.
03-24-2004, 06:42 PM
Hey...Great story. Your panel descriptions are awesome and I like how you put reference pictures in there for the artist. I do that a lot for my stories as well. Not sure how many other writers do that. As a matter fact, your script format is pretty much identical to what I use. My only nit pick was the numbering on the dialog. When I got to Page 5 Panel 5 and read
It made me think there was another character that I'd missed, but then I noticed you did it again in a few of the other panels. Personally, I'd dropped the numbering. I don't think it really serves a purpose, that I'm aware of anyway. Having
would be just as effective to show the double dialog and not have the possibility of confusion.
Just a thought :)
Normally - I give each character a unique name just to avoid that confusion.
Glad you liked the story otherwise.
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