Six Pages with Six Shooters

[wojr]

Ever just find a story that you forgot you wrote?

Going through my hard drive looking for an old script I did and found this western piece - WAITING (http://www.wojr.com/waiting_script.htm).

Any comments or critique you guys (or ladies) can offer would be much appreciated.

Michael

[popeye]

Hey...Great story. Your panel descriptions are awesome and I like how you put reference pictures in there for the artist. I do that a lot for my stories as well. Not sure how many other writers do that. As a matter fact, your script format is pretty much identical to what I use. My only nit pick was the numbering on the dialog. When I got to Page 5 Panel 5 and read

Driver 1:
Driver 2:

It made me think there was another character that I'd missed, but then I noticed you did it again in a few of the other panels. Personally, I'd dropped the numbering. I don't think it really serves a purpose, that I'm aware of anyway. Having

Driver:
Driver:

would be just as effective to show the double dialog and not have the possibility of confusion.

Just a thought :)

[wojr]

Normally - I give each character a unique name just to avoid that confusion.

Glad you liked the story otherwise.

Michael