Mike Storniolo
03-18-2004, 07:54 PM
Hey guys, belows a Spider-Man:Unlimited script I wrote that I'm planning on pitching to Marvel...before I do it I want to get as much feedback as I can from people to see what they think and how I can improve it/my writing.....
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Spider-Man: Unlimited
“Motivation”
By: Mike Storniolo
Page 1
Panel 1- Peter awake in bed. Lying sideways. Facial View. Body in shot too. Alarm clock in background beeping 8:00.
SFX- BEEP! BEEP!
(Caption)Peter-“This is me not wanting to wake up at 8:00 on a Saturday morning. This is me not wanting to force myself out of bed.”
Panel 2- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“This is me not wanting to put on a spider costume and swing around town. This is me not wanting to beat up bad guts and put my life on the line.”
Panel 3- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“I never want to do any of the above; all I want to do is relax with the people I care about. Yet for some reason, I always take the latter.”
Panel 4- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“Is it because of some self-implied sense of justice? Or is it sheer madness? What is it that motivates me to do this day after day?”
“Now here I go again ranting on about something I can’t figure out. I need to get a life…no. I need to beat someone up. That sounds good right about now.”
Page 2-
Panel 1- Somewhat small size. Spider-Man hanging off the side of a building. Feet sticking to the wall, about to shoot off a web.
(Caption)Peter-“I can think of a hundred things I’d rather be doing right now. I should be eating wheat cakes with Aunt May, or hanging with M.J. Hell, right about now I’d hang with ‘ole Jolly Johnah…Okay, it isn’t THAT bad.”
Panel 2- Front view of Spider-Man swinging. Feet in front of him, hands holding webs above him.
(Caption)Peter-“Sometimes I can’t help but think, if I’dve stopped that robber, if things’d be different. If Uncle Ben was still here…”
“No matter what the reason is, I do this and that’s got to count for something, and I can’t forget that.”
Page 3-
Panel 1- Two robbers running away with guns and bags of money.
(off panel)-“STOP THEM!”
Robbers-“Huff, Huff!”
(Caption)Peter-“Thugs. The lowest on the crime chain.”
Panel 2- Thugs turn around, very scared.
(off panel)Spider-Man-“Let me play guys! I like to have fun too ya know!”
Thugs-“Gahh!”
(Caption)Peter-“Knowing people like this killed Uncle Ben makes it that much easier.”
Panel 3- Spider-Mans fist hitting one of the thugs face. Face is jerking back, busted up
SFX-CRACK!
Spider-Man-“If you can’t play nice I’ll have to tell the teacher; you wouldn’t want that would you?”
Page 4-
Panel 1-Spider-Man holding one robber by the collar. The other robber is pounding his back
Spider-Man-“Whoa buddy, there’s enough punches to go around; you just have to wait in line!”
Panel 2- Spider-Man’s fist hitting the robbers face.
SFX-“CRACK!
Panel 3- Robbers webbed to the ground. Knocked Out
SFX-Wee Ooooo!
(Off Panel)Spider-Man-“Well that’s my q! Say hi to the Scorpion for me!”
Panel 4- Spider-Man swinging in the sky. Side view. Feet curled behind, hands above head.
(Caption)Peter-“Man…I miss Doc Ock! Those two-bit thugs will go after anyone for a little cash. One day it could me Aunt May, or Mary Jane. I can’t let that happen.”
Page 5-
Panel 1- Spider-Man jumping into the window of his apartment. Webs around him in air.
(Thinking)Peter-“I need a break…and some food. Might as well bring it in for a little while. It’s pretty slow out anyway.”
Panel 2- Peter walking out of the kitchen with a sandwich.
(Thinking)Peter-“I’m starving. Wonder what’s on the tube?”
Panel 3- “T.V news lady talking
Reporter-“ and this just in! A special bulletin says that the Shocker is going on a rampage on the Brooklyn Bridge. Fear is staining the hearts of - -“
SFX-CLICK!
Panel 4-“Peter’s face surprised.
(Thinking)Peter-“What the hells the Shocker doing around? “-sigh-“ jobs never done.”
Page 6- Splash page of Shocker letting out blasts on the bridge. Cars and stuff are flying everywhere.
SFX-FWASHOOM!
Shocker-“That’s right run you *(^*^% cowards! Fear the Shocker!
(Off Panel)Spider-Man-“Hey Shocker your masks a little crooked…”
Page 7-
Panel 1- Spidey’s fist hitting the Shocker in the face.
SFX-CRACK!
Spider-Man-“let me fix it for you!”
Panel 2- Shocker letting out blasts.
SFX-FWASHOOM!
Shocker-“ Nrgh! I wasn’t expectin you ta come here. Now, let the Shocker properly greet you web head!”
Panel 3- Spider-Man jumping over Shockers blasts.
Spider-Man-“ Well I see you lost your oversized geek gloves. Now, all we need to do is something with that costume.”
Panel 4- Spider-Man standing, talking.
Spider-Man-“ And what’s with you villain types and the third person; The Shocker, The Vulture, it really gets annoying ya know.”
Page 8-
Panel 1- Shoulders up view of Shocker.
Shocker-“We’ll see how hard you’re laughin once I take out your teeth funny man.”
Panel 2- Spider-Man intimidatingly waving his hands in the air. Mocking.
Spider-Man-“The Spider-Man is scared now! What will the Spider-Man do?”
Panel 3- Spider-Man firing a web at Shocker, another one behind his back.
SFX-THWIP!
Spider-Man-“Well The Spider-Man’s web seems like a good choice right about now.”
Page 9-
Panel 1- Shoulders up view of Shocker.
Shocker-“Hah! You couldn’t hit an elephant in th- -“
Spider-Man-“ Don’t finish that smart ass.”
Panel 2-“ Spider-Man’s throwing a truck at the Shocker. Truck hitting him. Web attached.
Spider-Man-“ Now you didn’t see me fire off that web, or grab the truck, OR know that I was keeping you talking so I can nail you with it. You villain types LOVE to talk. If you’d just shut up and fight, you MIGHT stand a chance; but I doubt that. Time to spilt, but first…”
Page 10-
Panel 1- Rear view of Spider-Man
SFX-THWIP!
Spider-Man-“Before you think of blasting off my webbing and trying to escape, consider how much you like that ugly mug of yours first.
Panel 2- Shocker with his hands webbed across his chest pointing at his head. Knocked Out. Spider-Man swinging away in the background.
Spider-Man-“Take it easy knuckle head. The Spider-Man will be seeing you!”
Page 11-
Panel 1- Facial view of Peter.
(Caption)Peter-“At the end of the day, there’s a lot of time to think. Do I wear the costume for the thrills? Is it because I like getting a rush and staying on the edge?”
Panel 2- Uncle Ben facial View.
(Caption)Peter-“No. It’s because of Uncle Ben; all because of those six words he said to me that I’m motivated to go out and do what I do. With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.”
Panel 3- Facial View of Aunt May
(Caption)Peter-“Because of Aunt May, who no matter what the situation, taught me to stick up for the under-dog and do what is right.”
Panel 4- M.J facial view.
(Caption)Peter-“Because of Mary Jane. Who has given me NOTHING but support in anything that I do. Whenever something is down, she always makes me see the up. She gives me confidence like nothing else.”
“But to sum it all up in a few simple words…I do it all
Page 12- Splash page of Peter sitting on a couch with Aunt May on one side and M.J on the other. Uncle Ben above them in like a shadow type thing.
(Caption)Peter-“For the ones I love.”
The End
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Spider-Man: Unlimited
“Motivation”
By: Mike Storniolo
Page 1
Panel 1- Peter awake in bed. Lying sideways. Facial View. Body in shot too. Alarm clock in background beeping 8:00.
SFX- BEEP! BEEP!
(Caption)Peter-“This is me not wanting to wake up at 8:00 on a Saturday morning. This is me not wanting to force myself out of bed.”
Panel 2- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“This is me not wanting to put on a spider costume and swing around town. This is me not wanting to beat up bad guts and put my life on the line.”
Panel 3- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“I never want to do any of the above; all I want to do is relax with the people I care about. Yet for some reason, I always take the latter.”
Panel 4- Same Scene
(Caption)Peter-“Is it because of some self-implied sense of justice? Or is it sheer madness? What is it that motivates me to do this day after day?”
“Now here I go again ranting on about something I can’t figure out. I need to get a life…no. I need to beat someone up. That sounds good right about now.”
Page 2-
Panel 1- Somewhat small size. Spider-Man hanging off the side of a building. Feet sticking to the wall, about to shoot off a web.
(Caption)Peter-“I can think of a hundred things I’d rather be doing right now. I should be eating wheat cakes with Aunt May, or hanging with M.J. Hell, right about now I’d hang with ‘ole Jolly Johnah…Okay, it isn’t THAT bad.”
Panel 2- Front view of Spider-Man swinging. Feet in front of him, hands holding webs above him.
(Caption)Peter-“Sometimes I can’t help but think, if I’dve stopped that robber, if things’d be different. If Uncle Ben was still here…”
“No matter what the reason is, I do this and that’s got to count for something, and I can’t forget that.”
Page 3-
Panel 1- Two robbers running away with guns and bags of money.
(off panel)-“STOP THEM!”
Robbers-“Huff, Huff!”
(Caption)Peter-“Thugs. The lowest on the crime chain.”
Panel 2- Thugs turn around, very scared.
(off panel)Spider-Man-“Let me play guys! I like to have fun too ya know!”
Thugs-“Gahh!”
(Caption)Peter-“Knowing people like this killed Uncle Ben makes it that much easier.”
Panel 3- Spider-Mans fist hitting one of the thugs face. Face is jerking back, busted up
SFX-CRACK!
Spider-Man-“If you can’t play nice I’ll have to tell the teacher; you wouldn’t want that would you?”
Page 4-
Panel 1-Spider-Man holding one robber by the collar. The other robber is pounding his back
Spider-Man-“Whoa buddy, there’s enough punches to go around; you just have to wait in line!”
Panel 2- Spider-Man’s fist hitting the robbers face.
SFX-“CRACK!
Panel 3- Robbers webbed to the ground. Knocked Out
SFX-Wee Ooooo!
(Off Panel)Spider-Man-“Well that’s my q! Say hi to the Scorpion for me!”
Panel 4- Spider-Man swinging in the sky. Side view. Feet curled behind, hands above head.
(Caption)Peter-“Man…I miss Doc Ock! Those two-bit thugs will go after anyone for a little cash. One day it could me Aunt May, or Mary Jane. I can’t let that happen.”
Page 5-
Panel 1- Spider-Man jumping into the window of his apartment. Webs around him in air.
(Thinking)Peter-“I need a break…and some food. Might as well bring it in for a little while. It’s pretty slow out anyway.”
Panel 2- Peter walking out of the kitchen with a sandwich.
(Thinking)Peter-“I’m starving. Wonder what’s on the tube?”
Panel 3- “T.V news lady talking
Reporter-“ and this just in! A special bulletin says that the Shocker is going on a rampage on the Brooklyn Bridge. Fear is staining the hearts of - -“
SFX-CLICK!
Panel 4-“Peter’s face surprised.
(Thinking)Peter-“What the hells the Shocker doing around? “-sigh-“ jobs never done.”
Page 6- Splash page of Shocker letting out blasts on the bridge. Cars and stuff are flying everywhere.
SFX-FWASHOOM!
Shocker-“That’s right run you *(^*^% cowards! Fear the Shocker!
(Off Panel)Spider-Man-“Hey Shocker your masks a little crooked…”
Page 7-
Panel 1- Spidey’s fist hitting the Shocker in the face.
SFX-CRACK!
Spider-Man-“let me fix it for you!”
Panel 2- Shocker letting out blasts.
SFX-FWASHOOM!
Shocker-“ Nrgh! I wasn’t expectin you ta come here. Now, let the Shocker properly greet you web head!”
Panel 3- Spider-Man jumping over Shockers blasts.
Spider-Man-“ Well I see you lost your oversized geek gloves. Now, all we need to do is something with that costume.”
Panel 4- Spider-Man standing, talking.
Spider-Man-“ And what’s with you villain types and the third person; The Shocker, The Vulture, it really gets annoying ya know.”
Page 8-
Panel 1- Shoulders up view of Shocker.
Shocker-“We’ll see how hard you’re laughin once I take out your teeth funny man.”
Panel 2- Spider-Man intimidatingly waving his hands in the air. Mocking.
Spider-Man-“The Spider-Man is scared now! What will the Spider-Man do?”
Panel 3- Spider-Man firing a web at Shocker, another one behind his back.
SFX-THWIP!
Spider-Man-“Well The Spider-Man’s web seems like a good choice right about now.”
Page 9-
Panel 1- Shoulders up view of Shocker.
Shocker-“Hah! You couldn’t hit an elephant in th- -“
Spider-Man-“ Don’t finish that smart ass.”
Panel 2-“ Spider-Man’s throwing a truck at the Shocker. Truck hitting him. Web attached.
Spider-Man-“ Now you didn’t see me fire off that web, or grab the truck, OR know that I was keeping you talking so I can nail you with it. You villain types LOVE to talk. If you’d just shut up and fight, you MIGHT stand a chance; but I doubt that. Time to spilt, but first…”
Page 10-
Panel 1- Rear view of Spider-Man
SFX-THWIP!
Spider-Man-“Before you think of blasting off my webbing and trying to escape, consider how much you like that ugly mug of yours first.
Panel 2- Shocker with his hands webbed across his chest pointing at his head. Knocked Out. Spider-Man swinging away in the background.
Spider-Man-“Take it easy knuckle head. The Spider-Man will be seeing you!”
Page 11-
Panel 1- Facial view of Peter.
(Caption)Peter-“At the end of the day, there’s a lot of time to think. Do I wear the costume for the thrills? Is it because I like getting a rush and staying on the edge?”
Panel 2- Uncle Ben facial View.
(Caption)Peter-“No. It’s because of Uncle Ben; all because of those six words he said to me that I’m motivated to go out and do what I do. With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.”
Panel 3- Facial View of Aunt May
(Caption)Peter-“Because of Aunt May, who no matter what the situation, taught me to stick up for the under-dog and do what is right.”
Panel 4- M.J facial view.
(Caption)Peter-“Because of Mary Jane. Who has given me NOTHING but support in anything that I do. Whenever something is down, she always makes me see the up. She gives me confidence like nothing else.”
“But to sum it all up in a few simple words…I do it all
Page 12- Splash page of Peter sitting on a couch with Aunt May on one side and M.J on the other. Uncle Ben above them in like a shadow type thing.
(Caption)Peter-“For the ones I love.”
The End
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