theory9
03-02-2004, 01:28 PM
...you'll hate this.;) They're actually part of the same story, to eventually intertwine at the comic shop in the sky! C+C always welcome...
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Page One
Panel 1—slim, rectangular panel of a small space shuttle gliding into the well-lit loading dock of a circular space station.
CAPTION
“—DOCKED FOR THIRTY EIGHT MINUTES WHILE WE REFUEL. SECURE ALL CARGO FOR LONG-TERM TRAVEL.”
Panel 2—largest panel on the page; a variety of items used to make a low-yield nuclear bomb float in an anti-gravity environment. The details in the background are hard to make out: the background should look out of focus. Two people—a man and a woman—are on the fringes of the panel.
WOMAN (OP)
ENRICHED URANIUM, HEAT SEEKING SECONDARY DEVICES, TRIGGER DESIGNED FROM MINING EXPLOSIVES—
MAN (OP)
WHAT ARE YOU RECITING?
Panel 3—a row of female android heads are being manufactured: we’re seeing a closeup of the factory line. Optical wires sprout from the backs of the skulls, feeding into a common mainframe where their programming is fed in. This portion of the factory line may be circular, which makes the most sense, architecturally speaking.
WOMAN (CAP)
“POETRY.”
CAPTION
“ANGELES/RIO CORPORATE SPOKESPEOPLE TODAY DENIED REPORTS THAT THEIR RECONFIGURED A-82 LINE OF ANDROIDS WOULD BE SOLD AND DEPLOYED ON EARTH. ‘WE WOULD NEVER—‘”
Page Two
Panel 1—large, white panel that takes up the top 2/3 of the page. This also serves as the title and credits portion of the book. It may also come to pass that the credits will “roll” through the first couple of pages; be prepared for possible changes.
THE LADDER, PART ONE
Panel 2—closeup of JANICE HOBBES, a colonial negotiator for the Angeles/Rio Corporation (Outer Colonies Division or OCD). She wears a white jacket with a high collar that’s a little loose around the shoulders. JANICE is 29, generically attractive with short brown hair and murky brown eyes (if a color book). We see her against a stark white background.
JANICE HOBBES
HELLO?
Page Three
Panel 1—We see JANICE HOBBES from the waist up; the jacket has a clear line (not a zipper) where the jacket’s seal can be separated with a single touch. There are no cuffs on the jacket. (What she wears represents, to a great extent, what the average person would wear in this world. What she wears should therefore represent general fashions in other characters and background people.) Repeat the same white background.
DETECTIVE SHANNON TALES (OP)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE, MS. HOBBES. MY PARTNER AND I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER WITH YOU.
Panel 2—this panel should be the largest panel on the page: DET. SHANNON TALES (pronounced TOWEL-ES) and DET. RICHARD AXELROD stand a few feet away from JANICE HOBBES. They stand in an interrogation room, where light is produced by every (or nearly every) square inch of wall space, which produces the stark whiteness seen in previous panels. The room is wired for sound, continuous video and monitors a detainee’s (not a suspect) vital signs; in addition, the room blocks any unauthorized communication signals from the outside. If possible, show the three of them from below the plane of the floor, as if we’re looking up at them through the floor. (I think it might be a neat looking angle.)
DET. SHANNON TALES
I’M DETECTIVE SHANNON TALES, AND THIS IS MY PARTNER DETECTIVE RICHARD AXELROD. WE’RE WITH THE OUTER COLONIES CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS UNIT.
JANICE HOBBES
WHAT’S GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED?
Panel 3—focus in on DET. SHANNON TALES: she’s holding a small, silver remote control in her left hand and points it to the right side of the panel. DET. RICHARD AXELROD stands behind her.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE AREN’T 100% SURE…WE’RE HOPING YOU COULD FILL IN SOME OF THE DETAILS.
Panel 4—with the remote control in the extreme foreground, we see a large, holographic projection of the shuttle from page 1, panel 1.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
THE REDUNDANT LOGS FROM SPACE STATION T-19 INDICATE THAT YOU HAD JUST RETURNED FROM MINERAL RIGHTS NEGOTIATIONS WITH ONE OF THE COLONIES.
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
THAT’S RIGHT…
Page Four
Panel 1—JANICE HOBBES stares at the holographic projection, which is in the extreme foreground (and reversed-numbers/letters on the hull will be backward), arms crossed uncomfortably across her chest. DET. SHANNON TALES and DET. RICHARD AXELROD stand to her right. The holographic projection completely blocks out the lower parts of their bodies.
JANICE HOBBES
WE WERE THERE TO SECURE RIGHTS TO ONE OF THE LARGER ASTEROIDS BELIEVED TO CONTAIN LARGE DEPOSITS OF IRON. EVERYTHING WENT SMOOTHLY…
Panel 2—DET. SHANNON TALES switches the picture, which now shows a large explosion: a religious fringe group detonated the bomb from page 1, panel 2 on the space station. Again, the largest panel on the page, perhaps even distorting the sizes of DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD and JANICE HOBBES to show the effect and destructiveness of the bomb.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE’LL KNOW MORE IN A FEW HOURS, BUT WE BELIEVE THAT A TERRORIST GROUP CALLING ITSELF THE WAY OF KINGSOLVER DETONATED A LOW-YIELD NUCLEAR BOMB ON SPACE STATION T-19.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE DON’T KNOW WHY THEY DID IT, HOWEVER.
JANICE HOBBES
I DON’T UNDERSTAND—
Panel 3—closeup of JANICE HOBBES looking down at her hands, as if she’s questioning her own existence.
JANICE HOBBES
—HOW DID I SURVIVE?
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD ANSWER THAT QUESTION. YOUR SHUTTLE CONFIGURATION DOESN’T INCLUDE ANY SHIELDED LIFEBOATS.
Panel 4—DET. SHANNON TALES looks down at a wire-model holographic representation of JANICE HOBBES’ space shuttle. DET. RICHARD AXELROD is partially in-panel (don’t worry: there’s a reason that he’s silent throughout the whole scene).
DET. SHANNON TALES
WERE THERE ANY MODIFICATIONS THAT ANGELES/RIO MIGHT HAVE ADDED TO CIRCUMVENT TRANSPORT REGULATIONS?
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
Panel 5—closeup of JANICE HOBBES’ face: she’s desperate to understand just what happened to her at space station T-19.
JANICE HOBBES
W-WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE? HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
Panel 6—closeup of the silver remote control in DET. SHANNON TALES’ hand.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
LIKE THIS.
Page Five
Panel 1—large, dynamic panel of JANICE HOBBES floating in space, with bit of space debris around her. She’s dressed in a dark business suit, hands and arms away from her body. What she’s wearing cannot be confused for any type of space suit or environmental suit: she is surviving in space through, as yet, unknown means. She has a bit of a smile on her face. Although this is one of the holographic panels, we don’t see DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD or JANICE HOBBES in panel.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“WE FOUND YOU LIKE THIS.”
Panel 2—a small craft with bright spotlights hovers over her body in space.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“ONE OF THE DEBRIS RECOVERY CREWS FOUND YOU ALIVE AND UNCONSCIOUS, AND BROUGHT YOU HERE.”
JANICE HOBBES (CAP)
“HOW LONG WAS I OUT THERE?”
Panel 3—two androids retrieve her body. We know they’re androids because they’re operating in space with minimal environmental protection (probably nothing more than helmets and gloves). They’re designed to operate with minimal technology in any environment, hence less money is invested in other equipment over the long-term. To make this panel a bit more exciting/dynamic, you could show JANICE HOBBES’ face in the reflection of their masks. Your choice.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“OUR BEST GUESS IS SEVEN HOURS, THIRTY SEVEN MINUTES. WE’RE STILL SIFTING THROUGH ALL AVAILABLE DATA.”
Panel 4—JANICE HOBBES lies still in a glass-canopied coffin inside the small craft from panel 2. This coffin is generally for transporting bodies back to the Inner Colonies or Earth, and can preserve the cells of dead bodies—works just as well for the living. (This isn’t Star Trek II where people are shot off into space: here, there are specific rules for the disposal of bodies which doesn’t include sending them into space and becoming debris that ships can hit.)
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“WE’VE HAD YOU UNDER CLOSE SURVEILLANCE HERE FOR THE PAST FOUR DAYS. TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW YOU WERE ABLE TO SURVIVE.”
Page Six
Panel 1—holographic representation of page 1, panel 3 with a little expansion: a row of android heads, now with some other body parts (arms, torsos) visible. DET. SHANNON TALES stands to the side.
DET. SHANNON TALES
YOU AREN’T AN ANDROID. WE RAN EVERY TEST WE COULD THINK OF TO MAKE SURE OF THAT. WE DON’T HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS AS TO HOW YOU COULD’VE SURVIVED…
Panel 2—JANICE HOBBES is fighting back tears, hands over her face. The hologram of the androids hovers near the lower portion of the panel.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
WE’RE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN TO SOLVE THIS. WE WANT TO HELP YOU…
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
…BUT WE’LL HAVE TO KEEP YOU HERE UNTIL WE GET A BETTER IDEA AS TO WHAT YOUR CONDITION IS. IT’S SAFER FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.
Panel 3—JANICE HOBBES wipes her eyes, looking a little confused now.
JANICE HOBBES
DOES ANGELES/RIO KNOW I’M HERE?
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
NO ONE DOES. WE’VE KEPT YOUR DISCOVERY A SECRET FROM THE PUBLIC, AND ANGELES/RIO. WE THINK ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE.
Panel 4—JANICE HOBBES is now angry, her eyes and mouth wide and animated with rage.
JANICE HOBBES
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?! THIS ISN’T LEGAL! WHAT ABOUT—
Panel 5—DET. RICHARD AXELROD speaks.
DET. RICHARD AXELROD
MS. HOBBES, UNTIL WE CAN ASSERTAIN PRECISELY THE REASON OR REASONS FOR YOUR SURVIVAL IN OPEN SPACE, WE FEEL THAT REVEALING YOUR SURVIVAL TO THE PUBLIC MAY ENDANGER YOUR LIFE.
Page Seven
Panel 1—a door opens behind DET. SHANNON TALES and DET. RICHARD AXELROD, revealing a well lit, gray hallway.
DET. RICHARD AXELROD
COOPERATING WITH OUR TESTS AND ANSWERING OUR QUESTIONS,TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY, WILL FACILITATE A QUICKER REINSERTION INTO THE WORLD.
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
I DON’T UNDERSTAND…WHERE AM I?
Panel 2—we’re standing in a long, narrow hallway, with windows on the right side of the panel. DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD and JANICE HOBBES stand in the midground of the panel. DET. RICHARD AXELROD points at the window with his left hand.
DET. DAVID AXELROD
FAR FROM DANGER, FOR NOW.
Panel 3—JANICE HOBBES presses herself against the glass, eyes wide at the spectacle before her. The edges of the window are surrounded by gray rock: the Outer Colonies Criminal Investigation Division compound is encased in an asteroid.
NO COPY
Panel 4—pull back to show a few levels of windows encased in the side of a asymmetrical asteroid.
NO COPY
Panel 5—from behind the asteroid, we see the Sun and other portions of our solar system. There are scores of asteroids all around, and appear to be vaguely identical.
NO COPY
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Page One
Panel 1—slim, rectangular panel of a small space shuttle gliding into the well-lit loading dock of a circular space station.
CAPTION
“—DOCKED FOR THIRTY EIGHT MINUTES WHILE WE REFUEL. SECURE ALL CARGO FOR LONG-TERM TRAVEL.”
Panel 2—largest panel on the page; a variety of items used to make a low-yield nuclear bomb float in an anti-gravity environment. The details in the background are hard to make out: the background should look out of focus. Two people—a man and a woman—are on the fringes of the panel.
WOMAN (OP)
ENRICHED URANIUM, HEAT SEEKING SECONDARY DEVICES, TRIGGER DESIGNED FROM MINING EXPLOSIVES—
MAN (OP)
WHAT ARE YOU RECITING?
Panel 3—a row of female android heads are being manufactured: we’re seeing a closeup of the factory line. Optical wires sprout from the backs of the skulls, feeding into a common mainframe where their programming is fed in. This portion of the factory line may be circular, which makes the most sense, architecturally speaking.
WOMAN (CAP)
“POETRY.”
CAPTION
“ANGELES/RIO CORPORATE SPOKESPEOPLE TODAY DENIED REPORTS THAT THEIR RECONFIGURED A-82 LINE OF ANDROIDS WOULD BE SOLD AND DEPLOYED ON EARTH. ‘WE WOULD NEVER—‘”
Page Two
Panel 1—large, white panel that takes up the top 2/3 of the page. This also serves as the title and credits portion of the book. It may also come to pass that the credits will “roll” through the first couple of pages; be prepared for possible changes.
THE LADDER, PART ONE
Panel 2—closeup of JANICE HOBBES, a colonial negotiator for the Angeles/Rio Corporation (Outer Colonies Division or OCD). She wears a white jacket with a high collar that’s a little loose around the shoulders. JANICE is 29, generically attractive with short brown hair and murky brown eyes (if a color book). We see her against a stark white background.
JANICE HOBBES
HELLO?
Page Three
Panel 1—We see JANICE HOBBES from the waist up; the jacket has a clear line (not a zipper) where the jacket’s seal can be separated with a single touch. There are no cuffs on the jacket. (What she wears represents, to a great extent, what the average person would wear in this world. What she wears should therefore represent general fashions in other characters and background people.) Repeat the same white background.
DETECTIVE SHANNON TALES (OP)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE, MS. HOBBES. MY PARTNER AND I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER WITH YOU.
Panel 2—this panel should be the largest panel on the page: DET. SHANNON TALES (pronounced TOWEL-ES) and DET. RICHARD AXELROD stand a few feet away from JANICE HOBBES. They stand in an interrogation room, where light is produced by every (or nearly every) square inch of wall space, which produces the stark whiteness seen in previous panels. The room is wired for sound, continuous video and monitors a detainee’s (not a suspect) vital signs; in addition, the room blocks any unauthorized communication signals from the outside. If possible, show the three of them from below the plane of the floor, as if we’re looking up at them through the floor. (I think it might be a neat looking angle.)
DET. SHANNON TALES
I’M DETECTIVE SHANNON TALES, AND THIS IS MY PARTNER DETECTIVE RICHARD AXELROD. WE’RE WITH THE OUTER COLONIES CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS UNIT.
JANICE HOBBES
WHAT’S GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED?
Panel 3—focus in on DET. SHANNON TALES: she’s holding a small, silver remote control in her left hand and points it to the right side of the panel. DET. RICHARD AXELROD stands behind her.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE AREN’T 100% SURE…WE’RE HOPING YOU COULD FILL IN SOME OF THE DETAILS.
Panel 4—with the remote control in the extreme foreground, we see a large, holographic projection of the shuttle from page 1, panel 1.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
THE REDUNDANT LOGS FROM SPACE STATION T-19 INDICATE THAT YOU HAD JUST RETURNED FROM MINERAL RIGHTS NEGOTIATIONS WITH ONE OF THE COLONIES.
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
THAT’S RIGHT…
Page Four
Panel 1—JANICE HOBBES stares at the holographic projection, which is in the extreme foreground (and reversed-numbers/letters on the hull will be backward), arms crossed uncomfortably across her chest. DET. SHANNON TALES and DET. RICHARD AXELROD stand to her right. The holographic projection completely blocks out the lower parts of their bodies.
JANICE HOBBES
WE WERE THERE TO SECURE RIGHTS TO ONE OF THE LARGER ASTEROIDS BELIEVED TO CONTAIN LARGE DEPOSITS OF IRON. EVERYTHING WENT SMOOTHLY…
Panel 2—DET. SHANNON TALES switches the picture, which now shows a large explosion: a religious fringe group detonated the bomb from page 1, panel 2 on the space station. Again, the largest panel on the page, perhaps even distorting the sizes of DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD and JANICE HOBBES to show the effect and destructiveness of the bomb.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE’LL KNOW MORE IN A FEW HOURS, BUT WE BELIEVE THAT A TERRORIST GROUP CALLING ITSELF THE WAY OF KINGSOLVER DETONATED A LOW-YIELD NUCLEAR BOMB ON SPACE STATION T-19.
DET. SHANNON TALES
WE DON’T KNOW WHY THEY DID IT, HOWEVER.
JANICE HOBBES
I DON’T UNDERSTAND—
Panel 3—closeup of JANICE HOBBES looking down at her hands, as if she’s questioning her own existence.
JANICE HOBBES
—HOW DID I SURVIVE?
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD ANSWER THAT QUESTION. YOUR SHUTTLE CONFIGURATION DOESN’T INCLUDE ANY SHIELDED LIFEBOATS.
Panel 4—DET. SHANNON TALES looks down at a wire-model holographic representation of JANICE HOBBES’ space shuttle. DET. RICHARD AXELROD is partially in-panel (don’t worry: there’s a reason that he’s silent throughout the whole scene).
DET. SHANNON TALES
WERE THERE ANY MODIFICATIONS THAT ANGELES/RIO MIGHT HAVE ADDED TO CIRCUMVENT TRANSPORT REGULATIONS?
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
Panel 5—closeup of JANICE HOBBES’ face: she’s desperate to understand just what happened to her at space station T-19.
JANICE HOBBES
W-WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE? HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
Panel 6—closeup of the silver remote control in DET. SHANNON TALES’ hand.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
LIKE THIS.
Page Five
Panel 1—large, dynamic panel of JANICE HOBBES floating in space, with bit of space debris around her. She’s dressed in a dark business suit, hands and arms away from her body. What she’s wearing cannot be confused for any type of space suit or environmental suit: she is surviving in space through, as yet, unknown means. She has a bit of a smile on her face. Although this is one of the holographic panels, we don’t see DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD or JANICE HOBBES in panel.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“WE FOUND YOU LIKE THIS.”
Panel 2—a small craft with bright spotlights hovers over her body in space.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“ONE OF THE DEBRIS RECOVERY CREWS FOUND YOU ALIVE AND UNCONSCIOUS, AND BROUGHT YOU HERE.”
JANICE HOBBES (CAP)
“HOW LONG WAS I OUT THERE?”
Panel 3—two androids retrieve her body. We know they’re androids because they’re operating in space with minimal environmental protection (probably nothing more than helmets and gloves). They’re designed to operate with minimal technology in any environment, hence less money is invested in other equipment over the long-term. To make this panel a bit more exciting/dynamic, you could show JANICE HOBBES’ face in the reflection of their masks. Your choice.
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“OUR BEST GUESS IS SEVEN HOURS, THIRTY SEVEN MINUTES. WE’RE STILL SIFTING THROUGH ALL AVAILABLE DATA.”
Panel 4—JANICE HOBBES lies still in a glass-canopied coffin inside the small craft from panel 2. This coffin is generally for transporting bodies back to the Inner Colonies or Earth, and can preserve the cells of dead bodies—works just as well for the living. (This isn’t Star Trek II where people are shot off into space: here, there are specific rules for the disposal of bodies which doesn’t include sending them into space and becoming debris that ships can hit.)
DET. SHANNON TALES (CAP)
“WE’VE HAD YOU UNDER CLOSE SURVEILLANCE HERE FOR THE PAST FOUR DAYS. TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW YOU WERE ABLE TO SURVIVE.”
Page Six
Panel 1—holographic representation of page 1, panel 3 with a little expansion: a row of android heads, now with some other body parts (arms, torsos) visible. DET. SHANNON TALES stands to the side.
DET. SHANNON TALES
YOU AREN’T AN ANDROID. WE RAN EVERY TEST WE COULD THINK OF TO MAKE SURE OF THAT. WE DON’T HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS AS TO HOW YOU COULD’VE SURVIVED…
Panel 2—JANICE HOBBES is fighting back tears, hands over her face. The hologram of the androids hovers near the lower portion of the panel.
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
WE’RE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN TO SOLVE THIS. WE WANT TO HELP YOU…
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
…BUT WE’LL HAVE TO KEEP YOU HERE UNTIL WE GET A BETTER IDEA AS TO WHAT YOUR CONDITION IS. IT’S SAFER FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.
Panel 3—JANICE HOBBES wipes her eyes, looking a little confused now.
JANICE HOBBES
DOES ANGELES/RIO KNOW I’M HERE?
DET. SHANNON TALES (OP)
NO ONE DOES. WE’VE KEPT YOUR DISCOVERY A SECRET FROM THE PUBLIC, AND ANGELES/RIO. WE THINK ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE.
Panel 4—JANICE HOBBES is now angry, her eyes and mouth wide and animated with rage.
JANICE HOBBES
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?! THIS ISN’T LEGAL! WHAT ABOUT—
Panel 5—DET. RICHARD AXELROD speaks.
DET. RICHARD AXELROD
MS. HOBBES, UNTIL WE CAN ASSERTAIN PRECISELY THE REASON OR REASONS FOR YOUR SURVIVAL IN OPEN SPACE, WE FEEL THAT REVEALING YOUR SURVIVAL TO THE PUBLIC MAY ENDANGER YOUR LIFE.
Page Seven
Panel 1—a door opens behind DET. SHANNON TALES and DET. RICHARD AXELROD, revealing a well lit, gray hallway.
DET. RICHARD AXELROD
COOPERATING WITH OUR TESTS AND ANSWERING OUR QUESTIONS,TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY, WILL FACILITATE A QUICKER REINSERTION INTO THE WORLD.
JANICE HOBBES (OP)
I DON’T UNDERSTAND…WHERE AM I?
Panel 2—we’re standing in a long, narrow hallway, with windows on the right side of the panel. DET. SHANNON TALES, DET. RICHARD AXELROD and JANICE HOBBES stand in the midground of the panel. DET. RICHARD AXELROD points at the window with his left hand.
DET. DAVID AXELROD
FAR FROM DANGER, FOR NOW.
Panel 3—JANICE HOBBES presses herself against the glass, eyes wide at the spectacle before her. The edges of the window are surrounded by gray rock: the Outer Colonies Criminal Investigation Division compound is encased in an asteroid.
NO COPY
Panel 4—pull back to show a few levels of windows encased in the side of a asymmetrical asteroid.
NO COPY
Panel 5—from behind the asteroid, we see the Sun and other portions of our solar system. There are scores of asteroids all around, and appear to be vaguely identical.
NO COPY