Batman and Toon shorts

[Deunen]

I'm working on a batman story in my spare time that I hope to draw eventually. I keep a journal and a scetchbook with me most of the time and I add to the story scene by scene when ever I'm in a writing mood. So here's 2 pages from the journal. C&C welcome.

page 1 (http://home.comcast.net/~Deunen/comic/batstory1.jpg)
page 2 (http://home.comcast.net/~Deunen/comic/batstory2.jpg)

Also I was obsessed with Natural Selection which is a mod for Half Life. I've started working on a comic based on it and on the side did some short toon comix. This is the script for one that I haven't drawn yet but you don't need to know anything about the Natural Selection game to appreciate it.
Enjoy!

page 1 (http://home.comcast.net/~Deunen/comic/toonstory1.jpg)
page 2 (http://home.comcast.net/~Deunen/comic/toonstory2.jpg)

Deun

[Eye of Rain]

BAtman just seemed like notes right now so it was hard to get a feel for it.

But, Natural Selection scene was quiete good. It's funny how u had the two marines argue like that. It was fun.

[Conan73]

I can barely make out any of the works

so it is hard to crit this one

see ya!

[Coober]

Hey man, nice work. I like both of them, though, at the moment the Bats stuff is coming to me clearer.

I like the mood stuff you seem to be going for with Bats, and I think it'd be interesting to see him 'pushed over the edge' as you put it. He's such a stalwart character, it'd be good to see him being affected by things like that.

Plus, the 'lightning crack appearance' - an oldie but a goodie.
The shot of Robin smiling by the switch - also cool.

What you've got so far, the build-ups, transitions - even though their just kind of snippets - seem to have a good simplicity to them, and from your writing I immediately got a clear picture of the scene in my mind, right down to lighting.

So...yeah. Good stuff. Definitely worth developing further. :)