The Dreamer
11-25-2003, 04:20 PM
Here is a short scene I wrote last night about a new story idea.
The project is tentatively called: The Land Beyond the Lake. The idea transpired from my childhood love of writings from the Inklings: Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, among others.
The tales of the Chronicles of Narnia are especially inspiring. This idea for this book is somewhat like a modern day take on,"kid from the 'real world' goes to a fantasy world to save them" sorta story. The plot is really in the development stages as I have a ton of other things to work on.
The scene below introduces Jeremy Forester and his best friend Sean Coleman, leaving on a flight to London to visit Jeremy's weird uncle, Henry Forester.
The format is a bit of a screenplay/comic hybrid. Nothing specific as I am not sure on what type of media the final project will be produced.
Please, feedback and C&C much appreciated.
Airplane Scene
We enter the scene with a wide,overhead shot portraying the entire passager seat room.
Jeremy and Sean sit in a sparsely populated 747 heading for London. Not many people are on board but there are a smattering of various groups. In the back are a group of Japanese tourists, busy chatting in hushed, sharp and foreign tones. Way in the front are a couple of girls in their early twenties, they look like they could be college students going back to school or maybe to visit a long distance friend.
Close to Jeremy and Sean are a group of older and obviously English folk. They seem forlorn and longing to be back home in their quaint houses, leisurely sipping tea once again.
We finally settle our eyes on Jeremy and Sean. Jeremy is a dreamy-eyed, medium cut, sandy haired Caucasian of around 12-13 years of age. He is wearing the common attire of a skaterboy; Mossimo t-shirt, baggy jeans, with some Sketchers to round the outfit off. Just like his persona, his dress is simple, yet purposeful. He has the window seat in the two seated booth. Next to him is Sean, a black kid of around the same age. Sean has his hair cut scalp short in the common style of african american males. Sean is sporting a long sleeved,brown Timberland shirt with matching Timberland blue jeans and brown Timberland shoe boots. Sean has a wily glint in his eye and an obviously over-excited expression on his face. In his laps are a bundle of various books on London and a couple of his own, personal collection of fantasy books. Visibly we should see the following titles or headings on the books:
1. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
2. Mysteries of London
3.The Unexplained of England.
4. Into the Fog
5. The Hobbit
Sean is trying to ignite a conversation with Jeremy, but Jeremy is currently tumbling down the corridors of a random daydream and isn't paying him much attention.
SEAN: I still can't believe I'm actually going to London, England, man!
JEREMY(distant): Yeah, me neither...
SEAN: London, man! Bro, I am SO glad your Uncle...uh...
JEREMY: Henry.
SEAN: Yeah....that he let me come with you, Jer.
JEREMY: Yup.
SEAN: I mean think about it, man. England is like..this ancient ( raises his hands for effect) MYSTERIOUS land. They still have kings and queens and stuff. I think they have knights too...(turning toward Jeremy) they have knights, right?
JEREMY: Um... I think-
SEAN(cutting him off): And all these crazy stories come from there, man. Some wacked out stuff. You ever heard of Jack the Ripper?
JEREMY: Yeah...wasn't he that serial killer? In that one movie...FROM HELL?
Sean: Yeah, that's the dude. Wait, you saw that?
Jeremy: What?
Sean: From Hell.
Jeremy: Yeah. My brother rented it once.
SEAN: Oh you SUCK,man! My mom wouldn't let me see it! Said it had some "distasteful scenes". Its about a serial killer! Of course it's gonna have some distasteful scenes, that's the whole point of the movie, ya know?! Well anyways.. this guy, Jack the Ripper, killed like 8 people right? And nobody could catch him. He was like a ghost, man. He would do his dirty deeds and then just straight up disappear. Some freaky stuff. People still, right down to this day, can't explain it, man. I mean, for all we know, the dude could still be out there stalking folk, just waiting for his chance to strike back.( Getting giddy) That's pretty sweet, huh?
JEREMY(still distant): Yeah...maybe...
Sean( fighting a losing battle to grab Jeremy's attention): Yeah...You ok, bro? Why aren't you saying anything? Oh...don't tell me your scared of planes, man. Terrorist and stuff?..Bro, I wouldn't even worry about it. My dad says we got these dudes called air marshals, right? They sit on planes and just wait for-
JEREMY(getting a little upset): SEAN! I know what air marshals are! It's not that. I don't know, man. I guess...I guess I'm kinda nervous...
SEAN(laughing to himself and opening his bag of peanuts): Nervous?...Nervous about what?
JEREMY: I don't know.. It's just- I haven't seen my Uncle Henry (Sean is popping peanuts in his mouth, not even showing mock concern for his friend) since I was like...seven and he came to Atlanta. Now, I'm going to England for the first time, to visit someone I haven't even seen in like 5 years..I don't know, Sean...I'm nervous.
SEAN ( Emptying his small bag of peanuts into his mouth like has never tasted peanuts this good): Yeah, I guess I see what you mean...(Eyeing Jeremy's untouched bag of peanuts on his lap) You gonna eat those?
JEREMY(sighing to himself and closing his eyes): Nah, you go ahead.
SEAN( acting like he was give a wallet stuffed with 100 dollar bills): THANKS MAN!I'm starvin! Can't believe all they gave us was some weak peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an a mini me apple. I could really use a quarter pounder with cheese. Shoot, I'd take a HAPPY MEAL right about now , man.( Sean looks over for his hopeful humored reaction only to see his friend fast asleep.)
SEAN( sits back in his seat and picks up the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe from his lap)(He says jokingly) OK...be that way...
We slowly pan out of the airplane and show it flying away into the night as a misty shroud of a cloud shifts us into the next scene.
That's it for right now, but the more I think about the story...the more I am writing!
Peace!
The project is tentatively called: The Land Beyond the Lake. The idea transpired from my childhood love of writings from the Inklings: Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, among others.
The tales of the Chronicles of Narnia are especially inspiring. This idea for this book is somewhat like a modern day take on,"kid from the 'real world' goes to a fantasy world to save them" sorta story. The plot is really in the development stages as I have a ton of other things to work on.
The scene below introduces Jeremy Forester and his best friend Sean Coleman, leaving on a flight to London to visit Jeremy's weird uncle, Henry Forester.
The format is a bit of a screenplay/comic hybrid. Nothing specific as I am not sure on what type of media the final project will be produced.
Please, feedback and C&C much appreciated.
Airplane Scene
We enter the scene with a wide,overhead shot portraying the entire passager seat room.
Jeremy and Sean sit in a sparsely populated 747 heading for London. Not many people are on board but there are a smattering of various groups. In the back are a group of Japanese tourists, busy chatting in hushed, sharp and foreign tones. Way in the front are a couple of girls in their early twenties, they look like they could be college students going back to school or maybe to visit a long distance friend.
Close to Jeremy and Sean are a group of older and obviously English folk. They seem forlorn and longing to be back home in their quaint houses, leisurely sipping tea once again.
We finally settle our eyes on Jeremy and Sean. Jeremy is a dreamy-eyed, medium cut, sandy haired Caucasian of around 12-13 years of age. He is wearing the common attire of a skaterboy; Mossimo t-shirt, baggy jeans, with some Sketchers to round the outfit off. Just like his persona, his dress is simple, yet purposeful. He has the window seat in the two seated booth. Next to him is Sean, a black kid of around the same age. Sean has his hair cut scalp short in the common style of african american males. Sean is sporting a long sleeved,brown Timberland shirt with matching Timberland blue jeans and brown Timberland shoe boots. Sean has a wily glint in his eye and an obviously over-excited expression on his face. In his laps are a bundle of various books on London and a couple of his own, personal collection of fantasy books. Visibly we should see the following titles or headings on the books:
1. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
2. Mysteries of London
3.The Unexplained of England.
4. Into the Fog
5. The Hobbit
Sean is trying to ignite a conversation with Jeremy, but Jeremy is currently tumbling down the corridors of a random daydream and isn't paying him much attention.
SEAN: I still can't believe I'm actually going to London, England, man!
JEREMY(distant): Yeah, me neither...
SEAN: London, man! Bro, I am SO glad your Uncle...uh...
JEREMY: Henry.
SEAN: Yeah....that he let me come with you, Jer.
JEREMY: Yup.
SEAN: I mean think about it, man. England is like..this ancient ( raises his hands for effect) MYSTERIOUS land. They still have kings and queens and stuff. I think they have knights too...(turning toward Jeremy) they have knights, right?
JEREMY: Um... I think-
SEAN(cutting him off): And all these crazy stories come from there, man. Some wacked out stuff. You ever heard of Jack the Ripper?
JEREMY: Yeah...wasn't he that serial killer? In that one movie...FROM HELL?
Sean: Yeah, that's the dude. Wait, you saw that?
Jeremy: What?
Sean: From Hell.
Jeremy: Yeah. My brother rented it once.
SEAN: Oh you SUCK,man! My mom wouldn't let me see it! Said it had some "distasteful scenes". Its about a serial killer! Of course it's gonna have some distasteful scenes, that's the whole point of the movie, ya know?! Well anyways.. this guy, Jack the Ripper, killed like 8 people right? And nobody could catch him. He was like a ghost, man. He would do his dirty deeds and then just straight up disappear. Some freaky stuff. People still, right down to this day, can't explain it, man. I mean, for all we know, the dude could still be out there stalking folk, just waiting for his chance to strike back.( Getting giddy) That's pretty sweet, huh?
JEREMY(still distant): Yeah...maybe...
Sean( fighting a losing battle to grab Jeremy's attention): Yeah...You ok, bro? Why aren't you saying anything? Oh...don't tell me your scared of planes, man. Terrorist and stuff?..Bro, I wouldn't even worry about it. My dad says we got these dudes called air marshals, right? They sit on planes and just wait for-
JEREMY(getting a little upset): SEAN! I know what air marshals are! It's not that. I don't know, man. I guess...I guess I'm kinda nervous...
SEAN(laughing to himself and opening his bag of peanuts): Nervous?...Nervous about what?
JEREMY: I don't know.. It's just- I haven't seen my Uncle Henry (Sean is popping peanuts in his mouth, not even showing mock concern for his friend) since I was like...seven and he came to Atlanta. Now, I'm going to England for the first time, to visit someone I haven't even seen in like 5 years..I don't know, Sean...I'm nervous.
SEAN ( Emptying his small bag of peanuts into his mouth like has never tasted peanuts this good): Yeah, I guess I see what you mean...(Eyeing Jeremy's untouched bag of peanuts on his lap) You gonna eat those?
JEREMY(sighing to himself and closing his eyes): Nah, you go ahead.
SEAN( acting like he was give a wallet stuffed with 100 dollar bills): THANKS MAN!I'm starvin! Can't believe all they gave us was some weak peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an a mini me apple. I could really use a quarter pounder with cheese. Shoot, I'd take a HAPPY MEAL right about now , man.( Sean looks over for his hopeful humored reaction only to see his friend fast asleep.)
SEAN( sits back in his seat and picks up the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe from his lap)(He says jokingly) OK...be that way...
We slowly pan out of the airplane and show it flying away into the night as a misty shroud of a cloud shifts us into the next scene.
That's it for right now, but the more I think about the story...the more I am writing!
Peace!