NickRocks
11-19-2003, 10:47 AM
yah more painess
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE
BOOK 1:THE ARMY OF DARKNESS
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:THE CLUB PART 2
JIM JAMES AND JIMMY KEPT SHOOTING AT ME. I GOT TIRED OF IT, SO I LEPT OUT FROM BEHIND THE WALL, JUMPED OFF ANOTHER WALL, AND KICKED JAMES THROUGH A WALL AND HE DIED, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX! I TURNED TO JIM AND JIMMY AND SAID “WANT MORE? IM A KUNG FU MASTER, AND YOU ARE OUT OF BULLETS.” THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER, THEN JUMPED DOWN TO THE FLOOR. THEY SAID “YOU CAN GO INTO THE CLUB. BUT ONLY BECAUSE WE LET YOU.” SO I WENT INTO THE CLUB, WHICH WAS OWNED BY A GUY NAMED VUKWULGAMBERF. HE WAS GERMAN. I WAS LIKE “HEY VUKKY, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE JOHNT HE BAPTIST IS RIGHT NOW OR EVERYONE IN THIS CLUB DIES, ALTHOUGH I ONLY HAVE ONE GUN, AND ALL OF YOUR HIRED MEN ARE READY TO KILL ME.” VUK SAID, “FINE, HES IN A TRAIN STATION. BUT GOOD LUCK GETTING THROUGH THE TRAIN MASTER, NAMED BOB.” SO I LEFT.
CHAPTER 2: IN THE STATION DE TRAIN
I WENT TO THE TRAIN STATION, WHICH SMELLED LIKE DIRTY ASS. I LOOKED AROUND. THEN A TRAIN ARRIVED, AND BOB WAS ON IT, HE WAS A HOMELESS GUY WITH NO TEETH, WHICH AUTOMATICALLY MAKES HIM AMAZING AT KARATE.
I WAS LIKE “GIVE ME BACK JOHN, YOU DIRTY HOMELESS GUY YOU!”
BOB JUST KICKED ME THROUGH 20 WALLS.
I GOT UP AND SAID, “NOW IM MAD.”
SO ME AND BOB FOUGHT KARATE. I WON OF COURSE. AFTER I BEAT HIM, HE GAVE UP JOHN. JOHN WAS OK.
“WE GOTTA GET BACK TO HEAVEN NOW!” I SAID TO JOHN. SO WE WENT TO HEAVEN.
CHAPTER 3:THE ARMY COMETH
AS I GOT BACK TO HEAVEN, THE NOTVIRGINANYMORE MARY SAID TO ME “THE RADIKUL ARMY WILL BREAK THROUGH THE CLOUDS IN 20 SECONDS!”
I WAS LIKE “OH SHIT”
I GOT EVERY SINGLE ANGEL IN THE WHOLE HEAVEN TO FIGHT THE RADIKULS. WHILE I HAD A PLAN.
I WAS GOING TO GO TO THE RADIKUL CITY AND TALK TO THE RADIKUL LEADER, AND CALL OFF THE WAR. I WAS GOING WITH A FRIEND, NAMED ORPHEUS, WHO WAS A BALD BLACK GUY.
I WAS LIKE “ORPHEUS, WANNA GO WITH ME TO SAVE HEAVEN?”
HE SAID “DO I?”
I SAID ”WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION?”
HE SAID “WHY DO YOU ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH QUESTIONS?”
I SAID “LETS JUST GO.”
WE ZOOMED OFF, RIGHT BEFORE THE RADIKULS BROKE THROUGH THE CLOUDS, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX!
CHAPTER 4: TO THE RADIKUL CITY
ME AND ORPHEUS WENT TO THE RADIKUL CITY. EVERYONE WAS A RADIKUL THERE. I WENT TO THE MAIN RADIKUL AND SAID “HEY YOU WANNA END THE WAR?”
RADIKUL SAID “ONLY IF YOU BEAT ALL THE OTHER RADIKULS. I WANNA BE THE ONLY ONE.”
I SAID “OKAY” I FLEW TO THE CENTER OF RADIKUL CITY. WHEN THEY NOTICED I WASN’T A RADIKUL, THEY ALL STARTED TO ATTACK ME.
AS I FOUGHT THEM I WAS LIKE “WHERES ORPHEUS?” THEN I SAW HIM. HE WAS A RADIKUL!
WHAT WILL LUIS DO NOW THAT ORPHEUS IS A RADIKUL? FIND OUT IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 2:FIGHT CLUB
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE
BOOK 2:FIGHT CLUB
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1: BEGIN
THE RADIKUL-ORPHEUS ATTACKED ME. I WAS QUICK TO DEFEAT HIM, BUT BY NOW THERE WERE SO MANY RADIKULS ATTACKING ME, I COULDN’T FIGHT. SO I FLEW UP IN THE AIR. I LOOKED DOWN, TO SEE ANOTHER RADIKUL FOLLOWING ME!
“WOAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I YELLED. “HOW CAN YOU FLY, BUT THE OTHERS CANT?”
“BECAUSE ITS ME!” YELLED THE RADIKUL, AND I HEARD MOO GOO PAI’S VOICE! “DESTROY ME, AND DESTROY YOUR MENTOR!”
I KICKED RADIKUL INTO A WALL. HE WENT THROUGH THAT INTO THE MIDDLE OF A ROOM THAT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE A FIGHT ROOM. I STARTED FIGHTING KARATE WITH RADIKUL. WE STARTED TO FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY, AS IT WAS RAINING REALLY HARD. THEN WE MADE A CRATER, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX!
CHAPTER 2: FIGHT (SOME MORE)
I GOT UP FROM THE CRATER, TO BE KICKED AROUND BY RADIKUL.
“WOW YOURE TOUGH” I SAID.
“I KNOW” RADIKUL SAID.
WE FOUGHT SOME MORE, AND I STARTED WINNING. BUT THEN, ALL THE RADIKULS CAME DOWN INTO THE CRATER AND STARTED BEATING UP ON ME! I WAS GOING TO GIVE UP, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED MY NINJA SWORD. SO I PULLED IT OUT AND STARTED SLICING MORE RADIKULS
I KILLED A BUNCH OF THEM, AND THEN JUMPED OUT OF THE CRATER. AS THE OTHER RADIKULS TRIED TO GET OUT OF THE CRATER, I FLEW OFF.
CHAPTER 3: HELP
I FLEW TO THE RADIKUL WHO WANTED ME TO KILL THE OTHERS.
“YOU KNEW I WOULD LOSE, DIDN’T YOU!” I YELLED.
“YES, I DID.” HE MOVED OVER TO A COMPUTER, WHERE A BUTTON SAYING RESTART UNIVERSE GLOWED. HE STARTED TO PUSH IT.
“NO!” I YELLED. I LEAPT THROUGH THE AIR AND KICKED HIS HEAD OFF. THAT MADE ALL THE OTHER RADIKULS DIE! THE PEOPLE THAT THEY ABSORBED LOOKED AROUND.
“MOO GOO PAI SHOULD BE FREE!” I SAID. BUT HE WASN’T.
“WHY ARENT YOU FREE?” I ASKED.
“BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL RADIKUL ABSORBED ME, AND SINCE HE DID SO I CANT TURN BACK TO NORMAL UNLESS I DIE!”
“CRAP” I SAID. “I NEED HELP WITH THIS.” I TURNED TO ORPHEUS “WILL YOU HELP ME?”
ORPHEUS SAID “WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU?”
“NEVER MIND” I SAID.
CHAPTER 4: GOPHER CHUCKS
SINCE ORPHEUS WOULDN’T HELP ME, I NEEDED TO CALL IN SOME SERIOUS BACK UP. I PULLED OUT 2 GOPHERS FROM MY POCKET, AND SAID “GOPHER CHUCK TIME!” USING MY GOPHER-CHUCKS, I STARTED FIGHTING RADIKUL. I WAS WINNING, WHEN RADIKUL SLAPPED ME THROUGH 20 BUILDINGS. I GOT UP, AND NOTICED THE GOPHERS WERE DEAD.
“CRAP” I SAID “TIME TO USE TONGUE-Y”
I OPENED MY MOUTH, AND MY TONGUE SHOT OUT, BEATING UP RADIKUL. BUT THEN RADIKUL BIT MY TONGUE, AND THAT HURT. SO I CLOSED MY MOUTH.
MEANWHILE, IN HEAVEN, THE RADIKULS SAW I WAS FIGHTING THEIR LEADER, SO THEY FLEW DOWN TOWARDS EARTH.
THE WAR IS ABOUT TO BEGIN….
TO BE CONTINUED IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 3:THE SCARY PEOPLE
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 3:THE SCARY PEOPLE
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:THE SCARY PEOPLE
THE RADIKULS FLEW DOWN TO EARTH. I SAW THEM APPROACHING. THEN I REALIZED I WAS GETTING PRETTY TIRED OF THIS CRAP, SO I PICKED UP A NUKE AND THREW IT AT THE RADIKUL ARMY. THEY BLEW UP.
I TURNED BACK TO THE OTHER RADIKUL, EXTREMELY PISSED OFF NOW. I SAID TO HIM “I AM REALLY MAD. YOU GUYS KEEP MULTIPLYING, AND ITS REALLY MAKING ME MAD.”
RADIKUL LAUGHED AND PRESSED THE RESTART UNIVERSE BUTTON. EVERYTHING WENT DARK.
CHAPTER 2: WORLD WITHOUT A UNIVERSE
I WOKE UP IN OUTER SPACE. EVERYTHING WAS DARK, AND ONLY ME AND RADIKUL WERE FLOATING IN THE VOID.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?” I SAID.
“I RESTARTED THE UNIVERSE. NOW I CAN MAKE IT WHAT I WANT!” HE LAUGHED MANAIACALLY.
I THEN REALIZED SOMETHING. “YOU CANT RESTART THE UNIVERSE, BECAUSE YOU ARENT THE SUPREME GOD, LIKE I AM! SO I CAN MAKE THE WORLD REAPPEAR!” SO I DID.
RADIKUL THEN GOT SCARED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY, BUT I GRABBED HIM AND THREW HIM INTO THE SUN.
CHAPTER 3:RETURN OF PAI
THEN I HEARD A VOICE. IT WAS MOO GOO PAI!
“MASTER! I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” I SAID.
“NO I JUST GOT ABSORBED BY RADIKUL. JUST BECAUSE I WAS ABSORBED, DOES NOT MEAN I DIED!” MOO GOO SAID.
“WELL IF YOU ARE ALIVE THEN ORPHEUS MUST BE--!” I STOPPED SHORT AS I HEARD THE NOISE OF FLIES BUZZING AROUND DEAD MEAT.
CHAPTER 4:NEW THREAT
I WAS SITTING IN HEAVEN, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE EASTER BUNNY SHOWED UP!
TO BE CONTINUED IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 4:THE EASTER BUNNY ATTACKETH
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE
BOOK 1:THE ARMY OF DARKNESS
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:THE CLUB PART 2
JIM JAMES AND JIMMY KEPT SHOOTING AT ME. I GOT TIRED OF IT, SO I LEPT OUT FROM BEHIND THE WALL, JUMPED OFF ANOTHER WALL, AND KICKED JAMES THROUGH A WALL AND HE DIED, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX! I TURNED TO JIM AND JIMMY AND SAID “WANT MORE? IM A KUNG FU MASTER, AND YOU ARE OUT OF BULLETS.” THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER, THEN JUMPED DOWN TO THE FLOOR. THEY SAID “YOU CAN GO INTO THE CLUB. BUT ONLY BECAUSE WE LET YOU.” SO I WENT INTO THE CLUB, WHICH WAS OWNED BY A GUY NAMED VUKWULGAMBERF. HE WAS GERMAN. I WAS LIKE “HEY VUKKY, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE JOHNT HE BAPTIST IS RIGHT NOW OR EVERYONE IN THIS CLUB DIES, ALTHOUGH I ONLY HAVE ONE GUN, AND ALL OF YOUR HIRED MEN ARE READY TO KILL ME.” VUK SAID, “FINE, HES IN A TRAIN STATION. BUT GOOD LUCK GETTING THROUGH THE TRAIN MASTER, NAMED BOB.” SO I LEFT.
CHAPTER 2: IN THE STATION DE TRAIN
I WENT TO THE TRAIN STATION, WHICH SMELLED LIKE DIRTY ASS. I LOOKED AROUND. THEN A TRAIN ARRIVED, AND BOB WAS ON IT, HE WAS A HOMELESS GUY WITH NO TEETH, WHICH AUTOMATICALLY MAKES HIM AMAZING AT KARATE.
I WAS LIKE “GIVE ME BACK JOHN, YOU DIRTY HOMELESS GUY YOU!”
BOB JUST KICKED ME THROUGH 20 WALLS.
I GOT UP AND SAID, “NOW IM MAD.”
SO ME AND BOB FOUGHT KARATE. I WON OF COURSE. AFTER I BEAT HIM, HE GAVE UP JOHN. JOHN WAS OK.
“WE GOTTA GET BACK TO HEAVEN NOW!” I SAID TO JOHN. SO WE WENT TO HEAVEN.
CHAPTER 3:THE ARMY COMETH
AS I GOT BACK TO HEAVEN, THE NOTVIRGINANYMORE MARY SAID TO ME “THE RADIKUL ARMY WILL BREAK THROUGH THE CLOUDS IN 20 SECONDS!”
I WAS LIKE “OH SHIT”
I GOT EVERY SINGLE ANGEL IN THE WHOLE HEAVEN TO FIGHT THE RADIKULS. WHILE I HAD A PLAN.
I WAS GOING TO GO TO THE RADIKUL CITY AND TALK TO THE RADIKUL LEADER, AND CALL OFF THE WAR. I WAS GOING WITH A FRIEND, NAMED ORPHEUS, WHO WAS A BALD BLACK GUY.
I WAS LIKE “ORPHEUS, WANNA GO WITH ME TO SAVE HEAVEN?”
HE SAID “DO I?”
I SAID ”WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION?”
HE SAID “WHY DO YOU ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH QUESTIONS?”
I SAID “LETS JUST GO.”
WE ZOOMED OFF, RIGHT BEFORE THE RADIKULS BROKE THROUGH THE CLOUDS, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX!
CHAPTER 4: TO THE RADIKUL CITY
ME AND ORPHEUS WENT TO THE RADIKUL CITY. EVERYONE WAS A RADIKUL THERE. I WENT TO THE MAIN RADIKUL AND SAID “HEY YOU WANNA END THE WAR?”
RADIKUL SAID “ONLY IF YOU BEAT ALL THE OTHER RADIKULS. I WANNA BE THE ONLY ONE.”
I SAID “OKAY” I FLEW TO THE CENTER OF RADIKUL CITY. WHEN THEY NOTICED I WASN’T A RADIKUL, THEY ALL STARTED TO ATTACK ME.
AS I FOUGHT THEM I WAS LIKE “WHERES ORPHEUS?” THEN I SAW HIM. HE WAS A RADIKUL!
WHAT WILL LUIS DO NOW THAT ORPHEUS IS A RADIKUL? FIND OUT IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 2:FIGHT CLUB
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE
BOOK 2:FIGHT CLUB
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1: BEGIN
THE RADIKUL-ORPHEUS ATTACKED ME. I WAS QUICK TO DEFEAT HIM, BUT BY NOW THERE WERE SO MANY RADIKULS ATTACKING ME, I COULDN’T FIGHT. SO I FLEW UP IN THE AIR. I LOOKED DOWN, TO SEE ANOTHER RADIKUL FOLLOWING ME!
“WOAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I YELLED. “HOW CAN YOU FLY, BUT THE OTHERS CANT?”
“BECAUSE ITS ME!” YELLED THE RADIKUL, AND I HEARD MOO GOO PAI’S VOICE! “DESTROY ME, AND DESTROY YOUR MENTOR!”
I KICKED RADIKUL INTO A WALL. HE WENT THROUGH THAT INTO THE MIDDLE OF A ROOM THAT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE A FIGHT ROOM. I STARTED FIGHTING KARATE WITH RADIKUL. WE STARTED TO FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY, AS IT WAS RAINING REALLY HARD. THEN WE MADE A CRATER, JUST LIKE THE MATRIX!
CHAPTER 2: FIGHT (SOME MORE)
I GOT UP FROM THE CRATER, TO BE KICKED AROUND BY RADIKUL.
“WOW YOURE TOUGH” I SAID.
“I KNOW” RADIKUL SAID.
WE FOUGHT SOME MORE, AND I STARTED WINNING. BUT THEN, ALL THE RADIKULS CAME DOWN INTO THE CRATER AND STARTED BEATING UP ON ME! I WAS GOING TO GIVE UP, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED MY NINJA SWORD. SO I PULLED IT OUT AND STARTED SLICING MORE RADIKULS
I KILLED A BUNCH OF THEM, AND THEN JUMPED OUT OF THE CRATER. AS THE OTHER RADIKULS TRIED TO GET OUT OF THE CRATER, I FLEW OFF.
CHAPTER 3: HELP
I FLEW TO THE RADIKUL WHO WANTED ME TO KILL THE OTHERS.
“YOU KNEW I WOULD LOSE, DIDN’T YOU!” I YELLED.
“YES, I DID.” HE MOVED OVER TO A COMPUTER, WHERE A BUTTON SAYING RESTART UNIVERSE GLOWED. HE STARTED TO PUSH IT.
“NO!” I YELLED. I LEAPT THROUGH THE AIR AND KICKED HIS HEAD OFF. THAT MADE ALL THE OTHER RADIKULS DIE! THE PEOPLE THAT THEY ABSORBED LOOKED AROUND.
“MOO GOO PAI SHOULD BE FREE!” I SAID. BUT HE WASN’T.
“WHY ARENT YOU FREE?” I ASKED.
“BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL RADIKUL ABSORBED ME, AND SINCE HE DID SO I CANT TURN BACK TO NORMAL UNLESS I DIE!”
“CRAP” I SAID. “I NEED HELP WITH THIS.” I TURNED TO ORPHEUS “WILL YOU HELP ME?”
ORPHEUS SAID “WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU?”
“NEVER MIND” I SAID.
CHAPTER 4: GOPHER CHUCKS
SINCE ORPHEUS WOULDN’T HELP ME, I NEEDED TO CALL IN SOME SERIOUS BACK UP. I PULLED OUT 2 GOPHERS FROM MY POCKET, AND SAID “GOPHER CHUCK TIME!” USING MY GOPHER-CHUCKS, I STARTED FIGHTING RADIKUL. I WAS WINNING, WHEN RADIKUL SLAPPED ME THROUGH 20 BUILDINGS. I GOT UP, AND NOTICED THE GOPHERS WERE DEAD.
“CRAP” I SAID “TIME TO USE TONGUE-Y”
I OPENED MY MOUTH, AND MY TONGUE SHOT OUT, BEATING UP RADIKUL. BUT THEN RADIKUL BIT MY TONGUE, AND THAT HURT. SO I CLOSED MY MOUTH.
MEANWHILE, IN HEAVEN, THE RADIKULS SAW I WAS FIGHTING THEIR LEADER, SO THEY FLEW DOWN TOWARDS EARTH.
THE WAR IS ABOUT TO BEGIN….
TO BE CONTINUED IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 3:THE SCARY PEOPLE
MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 3:THE SCARY PEOPLE
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:THE SCARY PEOPLE
THE RADIKULS FLEW DOWN TO EARTH. I SAW THEM APPROACHING. THEN I REALIZED I WAS GETTING PRETTY TIRED OF THIS CRAP, SO I PICKED UP A NUKE AND THREW IT AT THE RADIKUL ARMY. THEY BLEW UP.
I TURNED BACK TO THE OTHER RADIKUL, EXTREMELY PISSED OFF NOW. I SAID TO HIM “I AM REALLY MAD. YOU GUYS KEEP MULTIPLYING, AND ITS REALLY MAKING ME MAD.”
RADIKUL LAUGHED AND PRESSED THE RESTART UNIVERSE BUTTON. EVERYTHING WENT DARK.
CHAPTER 2: WORLD WITHOUT A UNIVERSE
I WOKE UP IN OUTER SPACE. EVERYTHING WAS DARK, AND ONLY ME AND RADIKUL WERE FLOATING IN THE VOID.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?” I SAID.
“I RESTARTED THE UNIVERSE. NOW I CAN MAKE IT WHAT I WANT!” HE LAUGHED MANAIACALLY.
I THEN REALIZED SOMETHING. “YOU CANT RESTART THE UNIVERSE, BECAUSE YOU ARENT THE SUPREME GOD, LIKE I AM! SO I CAN MAKE THE WORLD REAPPEAR!” SO I DID.
RADIKUL THEN GOT SCARED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY, BUT I GRABBED HIM AND THREW HIM INTO THE SUN.
CHAPTER 3:RETURN OF PAI
THEN I HEARD A VOICE. IT WAS MOO GOO PAI!
“MASTER! I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” I SAID.
“NO I JUST GOT ABSORBED BY RADIKUL. JUST BECAUSE I WAS ABSORBED, DOES NOT MEAN I DIED!” MOO GOO SAID.
“WELL IF YOU ARE ALIVE THEN ORPHEUS MUST BE--!” I STOPPED SHORT AS I HEARD THE NOISE OF FLIES BUZZING AROUND DEAD MEAT.
CHAPTER 4:NEW THREAT
I WAS SITTING IN HEAVEN, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE EASTER BUNNY SHOWED UP!
TO BE CONTINUED IN MOO GOO PAI AND THE SCARY PEOPLE BOOK 4:THE EASTER BUNNY ATTACKETH
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.