NickRocks
11-07-2003, 10:18 AM
yah this is the end. hopefully its better than the ending to revolutions
MOO GOO PAI AND THE ARMY OF HORROR BOOK 5:GOD VERSUS MAN
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:GOD
ME AND GOD KEPT FIGHTING. I WAS STARTING TO GET TIRED, BUT GOD DIDN’T SEEM TO BE BOTHERED AT ALL. HE SMASHED ME SO HARD I THOUGHT MY HEAD WOULD FALL OFF. I GOT ENERGY BACK AND BEAT GOD UNTIL HE WAS ABOUT TO DIE.
THEN, GOD DID THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. HE BROUGHT EVERY ENEMY I HAD EVER FACED BACK TO LIFE.
THERE WERE 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 NINJAS, 500,000,000,000 NAZIS, SANTA, GHANDI, JESUS, THE FAKE GOD, JAY LENO, TED WILLIAMS, THE POPE, MICHAEL STRAHAN, BUD SELIG, THE LITTLE NUTSACK WHO BLOCKED THE FOUL BALL, THE POWER RANGERS, SYLVESTER STALLONE, THE ARMY OF BABY NINJAS, HITLER AND SHREDDER. “UH OH,” I SAID. “IM GOING TO NEED HELP.” SO I DIALED MY CELL PHONE.
CHAPTER 2: ALLIES
OUT OF THE GROUND CAME THE BEST KUNG FU FIGHTER OF ALL TIME….MOO GOO PAI. HE WAS A SHORT, OLD CHINESE GUY.
“YO MOOG-DOG,” I YELLED. “I NEED YOUR HELP”
“IF HELP YOU NEED, THEN TO THE RIGHT PERSON YOU CAME,” SAID MOO GOO PAI. HE THEN TURNED ME INTO A HALF MAN, HALF ROBOT WARRIOR WITH BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES.
“NOW, READY TO FIGHT YOU ARE,” SAID MOO GOO PAI.
“THANKS, MASTER.” I SAID.
MOO GOO PAI SAID, “BE CAREFUL AGAINST THIS ARMY OF HORROR. THEY ARE VERY EVIL. AND EVIL IS BAD.”
“YES SIR” I SAID. MOO GOO PAI THEN FLEW AWAY.
“NOW, IM READY” I SAID. I TURNED MY LEFT HAND INTO A MACHINE GUN. “I AM SO PREPARED TO KILL THESE MOFOS.” I THEN JUMPED INTO THE CROWD OF NINJAS, FIRING EVERY WHICH WAY. I KILLED LIKE 1,000,000,000 IMMEDIATELY, BUT THAT DID NOTHING TO STOP THEIR NUMBERS. “OH S WORD” I SAID. “IM DEAD.” I KEPT FIRING, BUT THE NINJAS KEPT COMING. THEN, MOO GOO PAI HIMSELF CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND STARTED KARATE FIGHTING THE NINJAS!
“NO MOO GOO!” I YELLED. “THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM!” BUT HE DIDN’T HEAR ME, AS THE CROWD SWALLOWED HIM UP.
CHAPTER 3: THE OLD GUY KICKS ASS
MOO GOO PAI WAS FIGHTING ALL OF THE NINJAS. HE KILLED THEM ALL.
“WOW MASTER YOU ARE STRONG” I SAID.
“I KNOW” SAID MOO GOO PAI. HE THEN KICKED GOD IN THE FACE. BUT THAT PISSED GOD OFF, SO GOD, GHANDI, JESUS, THE POPE, MOTHER TERESA, AND A BUNCH OF PRIESTS, MELDED TOGETHER TO CREATE….THE SUPER CHRISTIAN! HE STOOD OVER 20 FEET TALL.
“WOW YOU ARE BIG” I SAID. THE SUPER CHRISTIAN STARTED BEATING ME UP. THAT GOT ME MAD SO I PULLED OUT MY SUPER HUGE NEVER SEEN BEFORE LASER GUN AND BLASTED THE SUPER CHRISTIANS GENITALS OFF. THE SUPER CHRISTIAN ASCREAMED, AND I KILLED HIM.
EVERYONE WAS SILENT. THEN SOMEONE SAID, “YOU KILLED GOD, AND ONLY A REALLY COOL GUY COULD DO THAT! SO NOW WE ARE GOING TO WORSHIP YOU SINCE YOU ARE SO COOL!”
CHAPTER 4: LONG LIVE THE KING
SO NOW YOU KNOW MY STORY. IT ALL HAPPENED YESTERDAY, IN THE SPAN OF 30 MINUTES. I NEVER DID GET TO BUY THOSE DONUTS. OH WELL.
NOW I AM LIVING IN HEAVEN, CHILLING WITH ANGEL BABES AND DRINKING LEMONADE. ILL SEE YOU ALL WHEN YOU DIE. TILL THEN, WATCH OUT FOR NINJAS AND CLERGYMEN.
THE END.
FOR NOW…….
MOO GOO PAI AND THE ARMY OF HORROR BOOK 5:GOD VERSUS MAN
THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. EVER.
BY LUIS VALDEZ
CHAPTER 1:GOD
ME AND GOD KEPT FIGHTING. I WAS STARTING TO GET TIRED, BUT GOD DIDN’T SEEM TO BE BOTHERED AT ALL. HE SMASHED ME SO HARD I THOUGHT MY HEAD WOULD FALL OFF. I GOT ENERGY BACK AND BEAT GOD UNTIL HE WAS ABOUT TO DIE.
THEN, GOD DID THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. HE BROUGHT EVERY ENEMY I HAD EVER FACED BACK TO LIFE.
THERE WERE 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 NINJAS, 500,000,000,000 NAZIS, SANTA, GHANDI, JESUS, THE FAKE GOD, JAY LENO, TED WILLIAMS, THE POPE, MICHAEL STRAHAN, BUD SELIG, THE LITTLE NUTSACK WHO BLOCKED THE FOUL BALL, THE POWER RANGERS, SYLVESTER STALLONE, THE ARMY OF BABY NINJAS, HITLER AND SHREDDER. “UH OH,” I SAID. “IM GOING TO NEED HELP.” SO I DIALED MY CELL PHONE.
CHAPTER 2: ALLIES
OUT OF THE GROUND CAME THE BEST KUNG FU FIGHTER OF ALL TIME….MOO GOO PAI. HE WAS A SHORT, OLD CHINESE GUY.
“YO MOOG-DOG,” I YELLED. “I NEED YOUR HELP”
“IF HELP YOU NEED, THEN TO THE RIGHT PERSON YOU CAME,” SAID MOO GOO PAI. HE THEN TURNED ME INTO A HALF MAN, HALF ROBOT WARRIOR WITH BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES.
“NOW, READY TO FIGHT YOU ARE,” SAID MOO GOO PAI.
“THANKS, MASTER.” I SAID.
MOO GOO PAI SAID, “BE CAREFUL AGAINST THIS ARMY OF HORROR. THEY ARE VERY EVIL. AND EVIL IS BAD.”
“YES SIR” I SAID. MOO GOO PAI THEN FLEW AWAY.
“NOW, IM READY” I SAID. I TURNED MY LEFT HAND INTO A MACHINE GUN. “I AM SO PREPARED TO KILL THESE MOFOS.” I THEN JUMPED INTO THE CROWD OF NINJAS, FIRING EVERY WHICH WAY. I KILLED LIKE 1,000,000,000 IMMEDIATELY, BUT THAT DID NOTHING TO STOP THEIR NUMBERS. “OH S WORD” I SAID. “IM DEAD.” I KEPT FIRING, BUT THE NINJAS KEPT COMING. THEN, MOO GOO PAI HIMSELF CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND STARTED KARATE FIGHTING THE NINJAS!
“NO MOO GOO!” I YELLED. “THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM!” BUT HE DIDN’T HEAR ME, AS THE CROWD SWALLOWED HIM UP.
CHAPTER 3: THE OLD GUY KICKS ASS
MOO GOO PAI WAS FIGHTING ALL OF THE NINJAS. HE KILLED THEM ALL.
“WOW MASTER YOU ARE STRONG” I SAID.
“I KNOW” SAID MOO GOO PAI. HE THEN KICKED GOD IN THE FACE. BUT THAT PISSED GOD OFF, SO GOD, GHANDI, JESUS, THE POPE, MOTHER TERESA, AND A BUNCH OF PRIESTS, MELDED TOGETHER TO CREATE….THE SUPER CHRISTIAN! HE STOOD OVER 20 FEET TALL.
“WOW YOU ARE BIG” I SAID. THE SUPER CHRISTIAN STARTED BEATING ME UP. THAT GOT ME MAD SO I PULLED OUT MY SUPER HUGE NEVER SEEN BEFORE LASER GUN AND BLASTED THE SUPER CHRISTIANS GENITALS OFF. THE SUPER CHRISTIAN ASCREAMED, AND I KILLED HIM.
EVERYONE WAS SILENT. THEN SOMEONE SAID, “YOU KILLED GOD, AND ONLY A REALLY COOL GUY COULD DO THAT! SO NOW WE ARE GOING TO WORSHIP YOU SINCE YOU ARE SO COOL!”
CHAPTER 4: LONG LIVE THE KING
SO NOW YOU KNOW MY STORY. IT ALL HAPPENED YESTERDAY, IN THE SPAN OF 30 MINUTES. I NEVER DID GET TO BUY THOSE DONUTS. OH WELL.
NOW I AM LIVING IN HEAVEN, CHILLING WITH ANGEL BABES AND DRINKING LEMONADE. ILL SEE YOU ALL WHEN YOU DIE. TILL THEN, WATCH OUT FOR NINJAS AND CLERGYMEN.
THE END.
FOR NOW…….