zanSeattle
09-18-2003, 03:26 AM
Here's the first eight pages of a script I'm working on for a miniseries called "LOW LIFE". This is the first eight pages of the first issue, entitled "Wallflowers."
My goal is that all important "What happens next?" reaction. Let me know if I'm close.
=====
"Wallflowers"
LOW LIFE #1
Written by Charles "zan" Christensen
===== PAGE ONE
We are in a nightclub at its peak hour, around 1am. The club is populated with hardcore night-lifers, and it's definitely not a place for first-timers. The clientele is diverse, raw, sexy and cool. Daring fashions, lots of skin and sweat, laughter, drinking, smoking and drugs.
These panels are widescreen... painting the nightclub like a cinematic feast.
----- Page One, Panel One
On the dancefloor, a crowd of blissed-out dancers of different genders and ethnicities pay attention to nothing but the music pounding all around them. Several couples can be seen in the crowd, pressed together and gryating, especially one in the foreground. He is dancing behind her, his pelvis firmly planted against her backside, straining to make as much contact as he can with the rest of his body, and she is as well. She has her head thrown back, he's leaning forward to meet her. Their lips are touching, mouths open, eyes closed.
----- Page One, Panel Two
A male drug dealer with a pomaded faux-mohawk is hanging out by the bathrooms, handing a small, neatly wrapped paper packet to a sexy young woman, who smiles back at him. Two other women are headed into the bathroom, with similar packets in hand, talking animatedly about something.
----- Page One, Panel Three
A male and female stripper dance on the bar. She is shirtless and standing behind him, pressing her breasts against the man's back. He is toying with the straps on his g-string as he dances.
Next to them, a bartender is trying to hand two martinis to a heavily-tattooed, muscular man on the other side of the bar, but he's distracted by the couple dancing above.
----- Page One, Panel Four
In the DJ booth, a male latino mixmaster in his late-20s is pressing buttons on a black rack-mounted device, scrolling through track names to work into the mix. Titles like "Piledriver (Xstasi Mix)", "A Billion Kisses (feat. Ani)", "Infanticide (Bonus Beats)". These must be made-up names; this club has stuff that's more cutting-edge than anything the reader knows.
There's a dual CD-mixing station on the counter below the rackmounted device, on which rests an open foil packet with some white powder piled in the center. In the booth behind the DJ, a lean, shirtless young man with a lollipop in his mouth and headphones on is checking out the DJ's ass.
===== PAGE TWO
----- Page Two, Splash
In the middle of the chaos and debauchery, at a small table near the dancefloor, sit BEN and RACHEL. They are a white couple, both in their mid-20s, both with chestnut brown hair. They're wearing the right clothes, but unlike the other denizens of the club, they're ill-fitting and awkward on the pair. Attempts have been made to impose a slick, casual style on their usual look, but it didn't take.
Ben is looking at his watch, and Rachel is holding her purse with both hands and looking around. All around them, the party rages on.
(Leave some room at the top for the logo and story title and some room at the bottom for credits.)
1) LOW LIFE
2) Part I: WALLFLOWERS
3) Credits : Charles "zan" Christensen - Writer
_________________ - Penciller
_________________ - Colorist
_________________ - Letterer
_________________ - Editor
===== PAGE THREE
Later that night, on a deserted city street of walk-up townhouse apartments. For this entire page, the POV does not shift, only the figures do, moving through the frame.
----- Page Three, Panel One
Rachel and Ben are in the distance, walking down the street towards their apartment. Both seem tired and pensive. Neither speaks.
----- Page Three, Panel Two
The pair are closer in the frame, about halfway down the street.
RACHEL: I think that went okay, don't you?
BEN: Sure.
Page Three, Panel Three
They've arrived at the steps to their apartment, and Rachel follows Ben as he climbs the steps. Neither speaks.
----- Page Three, Panel Four
Ben has unlocked the door and opened it . He turns back to address Rachel.
BEN: Did you have fun?
RACHEL: Sure. Yeah, I had fun.
----- Page Three, Panel Five
Ben has stepped inside, and Rachel is halfway through the door.
----- Page Three, Panel Six
The door is closing, but through the opening we can see Ben taking off his jacket, Rachel closing the door behind her.
BEN: We'll just try a new place next week.
RACHEL: Right. Back on that horse.
===== PAGE FOUR
Interior, Rachel and Ben's bedroom. On the wall is a framed engagement picture of the two of them, in nice street clothes, staged to display her hand and engagement ring. On the dresser below the picture sits a gift teddy bear and a kitschy pottery piece with dried flowers in it.
Ben's in bed and Rachel isn't in the frame. He's reading a hardcover of "The Golden Compass."
----- Page Four, Panel One
BEN: So you don't want to try Jerry's suggestion?
----- Page Four, Panel Two
Same shot as panel one, except Ben has tilted the book down and is looking offpanel toward Rachel in the bathroom.
BEN: The cruise thing? The riverboat?
RACHEL (off-panel): He was the one who suggested "Swingles" night.
BEN: That wasn't so awful.
RACHEL (off-panel): It WAS so awful.
----- Page Four, Panel Three
Ben returns to his reading.
BEN: It was just an idea.
RACHEL (off-panel): Do you not REMEMBER that night?
BEN: Yes, I do--
----- Page Four, Panel Four
Ben continues reading. Rachel comes into the bedroom and heads for her side of the bed.
RACHEL: Who else do we know?
BEN: Stephen and Sheila? Mike and Beth?
RACHEL: Suburbs. Barbecues. In bed by ten.
BEN: Then... nobody.
----- Page Four, Panel Five
Rachel sits on side of the bed, pulling back the sheets to get underneath them. Ben has closed the book and put it on the nighttable, and is reaching to turn off the lamp.
RACHEL: Speaking of which, we've got plans with my parents Tuesday night.
BEN: Joy.
----- Page Four, Panel Six
A panel of black, as Ben's turned out the light.
===== PAGE FIVE
Rachel's at work at a downtown law firm, where she's a paralegal. There are several desks setup without partitions between them, and one wall is completely covered in shelving, full of hardbound law books.
----- Page Five, Panel One
Rachel's desk has a picture of Ben on it, in a paper, heart-shaped greeting-card frame. She also has a clunky CRT monitor, a keyboard and mouse. She has an inbox that's got a few items in it, and an outbox with several large folders with rubber bands wrapped around them.
Rachel has her lunch spread out on the desk, browsing a "CitySearch" type website for nightlife options. She holds a sandwich in one hand and has her other on the mouse.
----- Page Five, Panel Two
Similar to panel one, except the midsection of a female coworker, JUNE, appears in the frame behind her, purse at her side. She is wearing a nondescript brown women's business suit.
JUNE: Whatcha up to...?
RACHEL: Hey June.
JUNE: Ooh, Club Neo, I've been there.
----- Page Five, Panel Three
Rachel, who's now turned to face June and still sitting, and June facing each other talking. We see that June is holding a small, white wrapped gift box with a white ribbon. June is a smiling, perky blonde woman in her early thirties with a bob haircut. She's heavier than Rachel, but pretty. Comfortable. Rachel is gracious about the unexpected gift.
RACHEL: We wanted to... heyyy--!
JUNE: I know you said you didn't want --
RACHEL: No, I think it's really --
JUNE: A bunch of us chipped in and --
RACHEL: That's really sweet. Really.
----- Page Five, Panel Four
Rachel has leaned forward in her chair, unwrapping the gift, while June stands behind, leaning over onto the high back of the chair, watching.
JUNE: Do you guys go out a lot?
RACHEL: We're trying to stay young and hip.
JUNE: I hear you. We never go anywhere. Wait til you're MARRIED.
----- Page Five, Panel Five
Rachel has finished unwrapping the gift and taken it out of the box: a crystal swan votive candle holder, which we've zoomed in on so it almost fills the frame.
RACHEL (off-panel): Oh... hey... it's --
JUNE (off-panel): If you don't like it, I can --
RACHEL (off-panel): No! No, it's great.
JUNE (off-panel): Really?
RACHEL (off-panel): Really. Thank you SO much. I know just the place for it.
===== PAGE SIX
----- Page Six, Panel One
Similar shot to the last panel on the previous page, except the candle holder is now surrounded by dozens of other tacky crystal knickknacks, in a cardboard box.
----- Page Six, Panel Two
We zoom out to reveal Rachel, holding the cardboard box full of crystal crap, which she's closing the flaps on. Rachel's wearing a nice cream-colored sleeveless dress. She wears an irritable expression.
RACHEL: Have these people lost their ****ING minds?
----- Page Six, Panel Three
Ben has the front door open, ready to head out to dinner. He's wearing a casual suit and is amused at her mood.
BEN: It was a nice gesture, though.
RACHEL (off-panel): Everyone thinks I'm turning into Glinda the Good Witch or something. Did I EVER like crap like this?
BEN: You give stuff like that to people who get engaged.
----- Page Six, Panel Four
Rachel has opened the closet door and is putting the box up on a shelf.
BEN: We could just return them--
RACHEL: Everyone SAYS they don't mind if we return them, but they DO. We've just got to keep them and put them out for parties when they'll actually see them.
----- Page Six, Panel Five
Rachel reaches for her coat, hung on the rack near the door. Ben is looking at his watch.
RACHEL: Are we late?
BEN: Only ten minutes. Fashionably.
===== PAGE SEVEN
Within the hour, Ben and Rachel are seated with her parents, TREV and ELIZABETH. TREV is a rugged, outgoing man who's nearly fifty and wearing a tight black t-shirt. He is in great shape. ELIZABETH is a slender woman in her mid-fifties, more reserved. She wears a classy pale pink women's suit and has her graying hair cut short, pixielike.
------ Page Seven, Panel One
Ben is sitting next to Rachel's father and smiling attentively while he tells a story. Rachel is boredly watching the bubbles in her champagne. Elizabeth is taking a bite of her steak.
BEN: How long?
TREV: Guess.
RACHEL: Just tell him, dad.
BEN: No, I can guess...
BEN: Two? Three Days?
----- Page Seven, Panel Two
Trev holds up four fingers to Ben with a knowing grin.
BEN (off-panel): Four days?
RACHEL (off-panel): WEEKS.
BEN (off-panel): That's AMAZING!
TREV: Never did forgive that guide.
----- Page Seven, Panel Three
Rachel downs the remainder of her champagne with a wicked grin. Elizabeth wipes at her mouth with a napkin and titters.
RACHEL: Getting lost in a jungle is not AMAZING, Dad, it's STUPID.
BEN (off-panel): What did you do for food?
TREV (off-panel): I'd like to say I lived on my wits, but truth is we came across a cannery.
TREV (off-panel): To this day I can't eat canned peas.
ELIZABETH: Trevor, you NEVER liked PEAS.
----- Page Seven, Panel Four
Elizabeth mock-whispers, conspiratorially, across the table to Ben, who sips at his champagne.
ELIZABETH: Of course, that was before we met. A woman doesn't let her husband go wandering around Argentina by himself.
BEN: I'm sure she doesn't.
----- Page Seven, Panel Five
Rachel fills Ben's glass and gives him a peck on the cheek.
RACHEL: If you want to go to Argentina it's fine with me.
BEN: That's a relief.
TREV (off-panel): Can't tour South America if you've got mortgage payments.
----- Page Seven, Panel Six
POV over Rachel's shoulder at Trev, who is shrugging, smiling.
TREV: I'm just SAYING. It's not like there's any hurry.
RACHEL: Six months is not HURRYING, Dad.
===== PAGE EIGHT
----- Page Eight, Panel One
Elizabeth takes Rachel's hand and scolds Trev. Rachel is blushing, a little irritated and embarrassed.
TREV (off-panel): It's not the length of the engagement, I'm just SAYING--
ELIZABETH: Let's not get into THIS again. We're having a nice dinner--
TREV (off-panel): --that it wouldn't kill you to LIVE a little before--
----- Page Eight, Panel Two
Elizabeth turns to Rachel and smiles, continues to hold her hand.
RACHEL: Dad, my life is not going to END once we get--
ELIZABETH: Don't listen to him, Rachel. You're a grown woman and you know what's best for youself.
TREV (off-panel): This one time, I was in Prague...
----- Page Eight, Panel Three
Ben listens to Trev's latest story.
RACHEL (off-panel): He's just being Dad, I know.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): You'll always be his little girl.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Have you two thought about the ceremony?
RACHEL (off-panel): We're thinking about a non-church wedding, something non-traditional. I read this book of Irish folktales--
TREV: ...and so she tells me there won't be another hotel for a hundred miles, and I think she's EXAGGERATING...
----- Page Eight, Panel Four
Same shot as last panel, except Ben's eyes dart over to Rachel and he smiles and winks to her.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Nonsense. We're talking about a day you're going to remember for the rest of your life.
RACHEL (off-panel): You haven't set foot in church in ten years, Mom.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): That's not the point. Are you saying you want a wedding like Melissa's, with knights and minstrels and whatever?
RACHEL (off-panel): Of COURSE not. We just want it to be special.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Darling, this is something you've got to take SERIOUSLY, and it WILL be special.
RACHEL (off-panel): I know.
TREV: ...so the next thing I know, my passport's been torn in two and the border guard's telling me ...
----- Page Eight, Panel Five
Ben takes Rachel's hand and they pay attention to one parent each.
TREV (off-panel): ...I tell you, this woman was stronger that I was. She lifted me right over her head...
ELIZABETH (off-panel): That godawful medieval dress Melissa wore made her look like she was nine months pregnant.
RACHEL (off-panel): Eight months.
ELIZABETH (off-panel, whispered): No! Really?
----- Page Eight, Panel Six
Close-up on Rachel and Ben's hands entwined.
My goal is that all important "What happens next?" reaction. Let me know if I'm close.
=====
"Wallflowers"
LOW LIFE #1
Written by Charles "zan" Christensen
===== PAGE ONE
We are in a nightclub at its peak hour, around 1am. The club is populated with hardcore night-lifers, and it's definitely not a place for first-timers. The clientele is diverse, raw, sexy and cool. Daring fashions, lots of skin and sweat, laughter, drinking, smoking and drugs.
These panels are widescreen... painting the nightclub like a cinematic feast.
----- Page One, Panel One
On the dancefloor, a crowd of blissed-out dancers of different genders and ethnicities pay attention to nothing but the music pounding all around them. Several couples can be seen in the crowd, pressed together and gryating, especially one in the foreground. He is dancing behind her, his pelvis firmly planted against her backside, straining to make as much contact as he can with the rest of his body, and she is as well. She has her head thrown back, he's leaning forward to meet her. Their lips are touching, mouths open, eyes closed.
----- Page One, Panel Two
A male drug dealer with a pomaded faux-mohawk is hanging out by the bathrooms, handing a small, neatly wrapped paper packet to a sexy young woman, who smiles back at him. Two other women are headed into the bathroom, with similar packets in hand, talking animatedly about something.
----- Page One, Panel Three
A male and female stripper dance on the bar. She is shirtless and standing behind him, pressing her breasts against the man's back. He is toying with the straps on his g-string as he dances.
Next to them, a bartender is trying to hand two martinis to a heavily-tattooed, muscular man on the other side of the bar, but he's distracted by the couple dancing above.
----- Page One, Panel Four
In the DJ booth, a male latino mixmaster in his late-20s is pressing buttons on a black rack-mounted device, scrolling through track names to work into the mix. Titles like "Piledriver (Xstasi Mix)", "A Billion Kisses (feat. Ani)", "Infanticide (Bonus Beats)". These must be made-up names; this club has stuff that's more cutting-edge than anything the reader knows.
There's a dual CD-mixing station on the counter below the rackmounted device, on which rests an open foil packet with some white powder piled in the center. In the booth behind the DJ, a lean, shirtless young man with a lollipop in his mouth and headphones on is checking out the DJ's ass.
===== PAGE TWO
----- Page Two, Splash
In the middle of the chaos and debauchery, at a small table near the dancefloor, sit BEN and RACHEL. They are a white couple, both in their mid-20s, both with chestnut brown hair. They're wearing the right clothes, but unlike the other denizens of the club, they're ill-fitting and awkward on the pair. Attempts have been made to impose a slick, casual style on their usual look, but it didn't take.
Ben is looking at his watch, and Rachel is holding her purse with both hands and looking around. All around them, the party rages on.
(Leave some room at the top for the logo and story title and some room at the bottom for credits.)
1) LOW LIFE
2) Part I: WALLFLOWERS
3) Credits : Charles "zan" Christensen - Writer
_________________ - Penciller
_________________ - Colorist
_________________ - Letterer
_________________ - Editor
===== PAGE THREE
Later that night, on a deserted city street of walk-up townhouse apartments. For this entire page, the POV does not shift, only the figures do, moving through the frame.
----- Page Three, Panel One
Rachel and Ben are in the distance, walking down the street towards their apartment. Both seem tired and pensive. Neither speaks.
----- Page Three, Panel Two
The pair are closer in the frame, about halfway down the street.
RACHEL: I think that went okay, don't you?
BEN: Sure.
Page Three, Panel Three
They've arrived at the steps to their apartment, and Rachel follows Ben as he climbs the steps. Neither speaks.
----- Page Three, Panel Four
Ben has unlocked the door and opened it . He turns back to address Rachel.
BEN: Did you have fun?
RACHEL: Sure. Yeah, I had fun.
----- Page Three, Panel Five
Ben has stepped inside, and Rachel is halfway through the door.
----- Page Three, Panel Six
The door is closing, but through the opening we can see Ben taking off his jacket, Rachel closing the door behind her.
BEN: We'll just try a new place next week.
RACHEL: Right. Back on that horse.
===== PAGE FOUR
Interior, Rachel and Ben's bedroom. On the wall is a framed engagement picture of the two of them, in nice street clothes, staged to display her hand and engagement ring. On the dresser below the picture sits a gift teddy bear and a kitschy pottery piece with dried flowers in it.
Ben's in bed and Rachel isn't in the frame. He's reading a hardcover of "The Golden Compass."
----- Page Four, Panel One
BEN: So you don't want to try Jerry's suggestion?
----- Page Four, Panel Two
Same shot as panel one, except Ben has tilted the book down and is looking offpanel toward Rachel in the bathroom.
BEN: The cruise thing? The riverboat?
RACHEL (off-panel): He was the one who suggested "Swingles" night.
BEN: That wasn't so awful.
RACHEL (off-panel): It WAS so awful.
----- Page Four, Panel Three
Ben returns to his reading.
BEN: It was just an idea.
RACHEL (off-panel): Do you not REMEMBER that night?
BEN: Yes, I do--
----- Page Four, Panel Four
Ben continues reading. Rachel comes into the bedroom and heads for her side of the bed.
RACHEL: Who else do we know?
BEN: Stephen and Sheila? Mike and Beth?
RACHEL: Suburbs. Barbecues. In bed by ten.
BEN: Then... nobody.
----- Page Four, Panel Five
Rachel sits on side of the bed, pulling back the sheets to get underneath them. Ben has closed the book and put it on the nighttable, and is reaching to turn off the lamp.
RACHEL: Speaking of which, we've got plans with my parents Tuesday night.
BEN: Joy.
----- Page Four, Panel Six
A panel of black, as Ben's turned out the light.
===== PAGE FIVE
Rachel's at work at a downtown law firm, where she's a paralegal. There are several desks setup without partitions between them, and one wall is completely covered in shelving, full of hardbound law books.
----- Page Five, Panel One
Rachel's desk has a picture of Ben on it, in a paper, heart-shaped greeting-card frame. She also has a clunky CRT monitor, a keyboard and mouse. She has an inbox that's got a few items in it, and an outbox with several large folders with rubber bands wrapped around them.
Rachel has her lunch spread out on the desk, browsing a "CitySearch" type website for nightlife options. She holds a sandwich in one hand and has her other on the mouse.
----- Page Five, Panel Two
Similar to panel one, except the midsection of a female coworker, JUNE, appears in the frame behind her, purse at her side. She is wearing a nondescript brown women's business suit.
JUNE: Whatcha up to...?
RACHEL: Hey June.
JUNE: Ooh, Club Neo, I've been there.
----- Page Five, Panel Three
Rachel, who's now turned to face June and still sitting, and June facing each other talking. We see that June is holding a small, white wrapped gift box with a white ribbon. June is a smiling, perky blonde woman in her early thirties with a bob haircut. She's heavier than Rachel, but pretty. Comfortable. Rachel is gracious about the unexpected gift.
RACHEL: We wanted to... heyyy--!
JUNE: I know you said you didn't want --
RACHEL: No, I think it's really --
JUNE: A bunch of us chipped in and --
RACHEL: That's really sweet. Really.
----- Page Five, Panel Four
Rachel has leaned forward in her chair, unwrapping the gift, while June stands behind, leaning over onto the high back of the chair, watching.
JUNE: Do you guys go out a lot?
RACHEL: We're trying to stay young and hip.
JUNE: I hear you. We never go anywhere. Wait til you're MARRIED.
----- Page Five, Panel Five
Rachel has finished unwrapping the gift and taken it out of the box: a crystal swan votive candle holder, which we've zoomed in on so it almost fills the frame.
RACHEL (off-panel): Oh... hey... it's --
JUNE (off-panel): If you don't like it, I can --
RACHEL (off-panel): No! No, it's great.
JUNE (off-panel): Really?
RACHEL (off-panel): Really. Thank you SO much. I know just the place for it.
===== PAGE SIX
----- Page Six, Panel One
Similar shot to the last panel on the previous page, except the candle holder is now surrounded by dozens of other tacky crystal knickknacks, in a cardboard box.
----- Page Six, Panel Two
We zoom out to reveal Rachel, holding the cardboard box full of crystal crap, which she's closing the flaps on. Rachel's wearing a nice cream-colored sleeveless dress. She wears an irritable expression.
RACHEL: Have these people lost their ****ING minds?
----- Page Six, Panel Three
Ben has the front door open, ready to head out to dinner. He's wearing a casual suit and is amused at her mood.
BEN: It was a nice gesture, though.
RACHEL (off-panel): Everyone thinks I'm turning into Glinda the Good Witch or something. Did I EVER like crap like this?
BEN: You give stuff like that to people who get engaged.
----- Page Six, Panel Four
Rachel has opened the closet door and is putting the box up on a shelf.
BEN: We could just return them--
RACHEL: Everyone SAYS they don't mind if we return them, but they DO. We've just got to keep them and put them out for parties when they'll actually see them.
----- Page Six, Panel Five
Rachel reaches for her coat, hung on the rack near the door. Ben is looking at his watch.
RACHEL: Are we late?
BEN: Only ten minutes. Fashionably.
===== PAGE SEVEN
Within the hour, Ben and Rachel are seated with her parents, TREV and ELIZABETH. TREV is a rugged, outgoing man who's nearly fifty and wearing a tight black t-shirt. He is in great shape. ELIZABETH is a slender woman in her mid-fifties, more reserved. She wears a classy pale pink women's suit and has her graying hair cut short, pixielike.
------ Page Seven, Panel One
Ben is sitting next to Rachel's father and smiling attentively while he tells a story. Rachel is boredly watching the bubbles in her champagne. Elizabeth is taking a bite of her steak.
BEN: How long?
TREV: Guess.
RACHEL: Just tell him, dad.
BEN: No, I can guess...
BEN: Two? Three Days?
----- Page Seven, Panel Two
Trev holds up four fingers to Ben with a knowing grin.
BEN (off-panel): Four days?
RACHEL (off-panel): WEEKS.
BEN (off-panel): That's AMAZING!
TREV: Never did forgive that guide.
----- Page Seven, Panel Three
Rachel downs the remainder of her champagne with a wicked grin. Elizabeth wipes at her mouth with a napkin and titters.
RACHEL: Getting lost in a jungle is not AMAZING, Dad, it's STUPID.
BEN (off-panel): What did you do for food?
TREV (off-panel): I'd like to say I lived on my wits, but truth is we came across a cannery.
TREV (off-panel): To this day I can't eat canned peas.
ELIZABETH: Trevor, you NEVER liked PEAS.
----- Page Seven, Panel Four
Elizabeth mock-whispers, conspiratorially, across the table to Ben, who sips at his champagne.
ELIZABETH: Of course, that was before we met. A woman doesn't let her husband go wandering around Argentina by himself.
BEN: I'm sure she doesn't.
----- Page Seven, Panel Five
Rachel fills Ben's glass and gives him a peck on the cheek.
RACHEL: If you want to go to Argentina it's fine with me.
BEN: That's a relief.
TREV (off-panel): Can't tour South America if you've got mortgage payments.
----- Page Seven, Panel Six
POV over Rachel's shoulder at Trev, who is shrugging, smiling.
TREV: I'm just SAYING. It's not like there's any hurry.
RACHEL: Six months is not HURRYING, Dad.
===== PAGE EIGHT
----- Page Eight, Panel One
Elizabeth takes Rachel's hand and scolds Trev. Rachel is blushing, a little irritated and embarrassed.
TREV (off-panel): It's not the length of the engagement, I'm just SAYING--
ELIZABETH: Let's not get into THIS again. We're having a nice dinner--
TREV (off-panel): --that it wouldn't kill you to LIVE a little before--
----- Page Eight, Panel Two
Elizabeth turns to Rachel and smiles, continues to hold her hand.
RACHEL: Dad, my life is not going to END once we get--
ELIZABETH: Don't listen to him, Rachel. You're a grown woman and you know what's best for youself.
TREV (off-panel): This one time, I was in Prague...
----- Page Eight, Panel Three
Ben listens to Trev's latest story.
RACHEL (off-panel): He's just being Dad, I know.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): You'll always be his little girl.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Have you two thought about the ceremony?
RACHEL (off-panel): We're thinking about a non-church wedding, something non-traditional. I read this book of Irish folktales--
TREV: ...and so she tells me there won't be another hotel for a hundred miles, and I think she's EXAGGERATING...
----- Page Eight, Panel Four
Same shot as last panel, except Ben's eyes dart over to Rachel and he smiles and winks to her.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Nonsense. We're talking about a day you're going to remember for the rest of your life.
RACHEL (off-panel): You haven't set foot in church in ten years, Mom.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): That's not the point. Are you saying you want a wedding like Melissa's, with knights and minstrels and whatever?
RACHEL (off-panel): Of COURSE not. We just want it to be special.
ELIZABETH (off-panel): Darling, this is something you've got to take SERIOUSLY, and it WILL be special.
RACHEL (off-panel): I know.
TREV: ...so the next thing I know, my passport's been torn in two and the border guard's telling me ...
----- Page Eight, Panel Five
Ben takes Rachel's hand and they pay attention to one parent each.
TREV (off-panel): ...I tell you, this woman was stronger that I was. She lifted me right over her head...
ELIZABETH (off-panel): That godawful medieval dress Melissa wore made her look like she was nine months pregnant.
RACHEL (off-panel): Eight months.
ELIZABETH (off-panel, whispered): No! Really?
----- Page Eight, Panel Six
Close-up on Rachel and Ben's hands entwined.