beasts 1-3

[psychoheat]

This are the first three pages after the prologe.

www.umcomics.bravehost.com/beast1.htm
www.umcomics.bravehost.com/beast2.htm
www.umcomics.bravehost.com/beast3.htm

panel 1 of pag1 needs more detail

Advanced thanks for the C&C:D

[TheFightingFoetus]

For one thing, I think a slightly higher resolution would be good. Maybe like, 100 dpi, with the image width being around 480.

It's really hard to make out some of the faces and details, 'cause of the scan. My eyes can't make out the lettering, either.

About your figures, you could still stand to brush up on your anatomy/figure drawing, but some of what you have isn't all bad. I don't really care for the eyes on most of the figures, but if you're going to continue doing the huge eyeball thing, they'll need to be a little more consistant in size and shape.

Lineweights.

Almost all of the lines on your page are the same thickness. Really give us some contrast in line thicknesses, to help seperate the figures from one another, and the background.

The story looks interesting, and you seem to have a good eye for keeping the shots interesting. Good luck with it.

[psychoheat]

Thanks, I'll have your comments in mind specially the eye thing, as for the line weights, I allwais take care of that in the inking, but i'm going to start doing it in the pencils so you can make the diference

Thanks again, glad you like the story:p

[Phil Clark]

The thing I noticed most (beyond the line weights issue already mentioned) is that all of the panels are drawn from a similar angle. There are no "worms-eye" or "birds-eye" shots to add drama to the pages. The goal in storytelling is to involve the reader in the story. Your pages tell the story, but lack the involvement. We feel as if we are being told a story instead of experiencing it. I hope this helps.

[psychoheat]

You're right, Most of this pages have the same camera angle, If you see the Beasts 4-6 also posted in this section you'll see that the camera angles vary a little bit, using birdseye views, in this pages I didn't consider that there was the nessesary dramatic tension to make a radical camera change, but I'll study the story and the pages to see if it really needs one

Thanks, I'll start to pay more attention to the angles

Thanks for your comments:D

[Phil Clark]

Camera angles aren't just for dramatic tension. They are used to add interest to the scene. And they don't have to be as dramatic as the birds eye or worms eye views. They can be up or down shots that are less extreme.

[psychoheat]

mmm i guess your right, gona try that next time again thanks:D