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Heersahoo
08-26-2003, 09:55 AM
Here's a script I wrote for Sam Spade a few months ago. We tried to get it published in Digital Webbing Presents but never heard back from them:(

If you want to see the finished project, check out Sam's site: http://www.users.fast.net/~rrv311/hd1.html

The HOTEL DICK

The Cast of Characters
Joseph "Mitts" Kowalski - Hotel Detective and ex-boxer (Robert Mitchum)
Ms. Jessica Gilroy - Guest and Femme Fatale ( Veronica Lake)
Rex Nichols - Singer and Ms. Gilroy's Boyfriend (Sterling Hayden)
Niall Harrington - snotty front desk clerk ( Edward Everett Horton)
"Freddie the Fist" Schumacher - boxer mentioned by Kowalski

PAGE 1

PANELS 1 & 2 are half a tier in height - as small as you can get and still keep the effect - and should be placed consecutively on the same tier. The effect we are going for in both of these panels is a title card in a Thirties era movie. The BACKGROUND is a grey radial gradient that starts center frame medium grey but transitions to black "shadows" in the corners - vignette. Each panel will additionally have a simplistic line drawing of period style to add to the effect. The lettering is white with drop shadows.

PANEL 1:

The LINE DRAWING in PANEL 1 depicts the exterior of the CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL, as if the viewer is standing across the street looking from the left side at an angle.

TITLE CAP (1): THE HOTEL DICK

PANEL 2:

The LINE DRAWING in PANEL 2 is a medium shot of the entrance to the LOTUS GARDEN RESTAURANT - sort of a borderless cartoon trailing off to nothing. A rather wealthy couple is ready to enter the restaurant. Both are dressed in period eveningwear. The husband is tall and thin, while his wife is short and fat, a typical juxtaposition from that time. Draw them in the style of advertisement cartoons of the time - use Dover's Travel Advertisments of the 1930's for reference.

CAP (2): WRITTEN BY
C. ISAAC HORTON, JR.
CAP (3): ART BY
MATTHEW T. VASEY

PANEL 3:
INTERIOR - CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

The CAMERA is placed in the seating area on the right side of the LOBBY pointing toward the GRAND STAIRCASE ( See diagram).

We are looking past one of the Cherry Blossom's signature chairs. Seated in the chair is JOSEPH "MITTS" KOWALSKI; although all we see of him at this point are his left arm and the top of his head over the chair back. His hair is dark and slicked with pomade - much the way most men wore their hair at this time. KOWALSKI is dressed in a dark chalk stripe suit, either black or navy blue. In his left hand he's holding a fat, Cuban cigar and he's tapping the ashes into a stand-type ashtray positioned next to the chair. A stream of smoke curls its way upward to the panels above from the cigar. This effect will help to connect the title cards to the first story panel. You may even want to have the smoke spread to more of a fan near the top of the panel and do away with the panel border where it touches. Thus the smoke will seem to dissipate into the above panels. Also, make sure we can see the console model radio. Put the radio over at frame right over at right. We don't even have to see all off it, just enough to have the radio coverage of the fight coming out of it.

Beyond KOWALSKI, somewhere around mid-frame, is the reception desk. Manning the reception desk is the night clerk, NIALL HARRINGTON. HARRINGTON is your typical snotty desk clerk and should have something of the prissy English butler about him. He is dressed in suit as well but it should have something of a uniform about it. I figure it as a mid-shade of green and somewhat akin to formal wear - once again, think butler. He is tall and thin generally, gangly would be a good description. Although Harrington is thin overall, he should be heavier on the bottom, somewhat of a potbelly to slightly bulge his waistcoat. This should give him a slightly out of proportion look but this is exactly fitting for his character. Like KOWALSKI, his hair is slicked but in an unfashionable way or more likely a fashion 30 years out of date. Harrington is bent over the counter, busy writing in sort of ledger with a fountain pen. As everything else about him, this act should give the impression of stiffness and prissiness. He has definite ideas of how THINGS should be and doesn't do well when events do go according to his notions, as we will see shortly.

In the background we can see the open balcony along the back wall but the railing should be at the level of the panel top border. With this partial view we can only see the bottom half of MS. GILROY as she runs from the LEFTHAND CORRIDOR toward the GRAND STAIRCASE. For internal logic purposes, she is running out from the corridor because she is in a hurry and didn't want to wait for the slow elevator. The STAIRS from her room descend to that corridor and then the guest must walk down across the upper lobby balcony to get to the ground floor via the GRAND STAIRCASE. Try to make Ms. Gilroy somewhat inconspicuous in this shot. Don't necessarily hide her but don't make her obvious either. After the reader reads the next frame I like him/her to be to go back and go - "Hey, there she is!" Almost a Where's Waldo if you will.

CAP (4): 11:30 SATURDAY NIGHT AND I WAS WORKING ADOUBLE
AS A FAVOR TO ED HANGEY. SEEMS HE GOT HIS GIRL
IN THE FAMILY WAY AND HAD TO MAKE A QUICK TRIP
DOWN TO ELKTON, MARYLAND TO MAKE AN HONEST
WOMAN OF HER BEFORE HER POP FOUND OUT.

CAP (5): I HAD NO BEEFS WORKING; MONEY DOESN'T GET MUCH
EASIER. THE LOTUS GARDEN SHUT DOWN MORE THAN
HOUR AGO. EVEN THE POTBOYS WERE ON TO THEIR
EVENING WATERING HOLES. ALL THE OLD CODGERS
WERE SNUG IN THEIR ROOMS WHILE THE HEP CATS
W ERE OFF PAINTING THE TOWN. I HAD A GOOD
COUPLE OF HOURS BEFORE THEY CAME STUMBLING IN.
MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME TO CATCH UP ON THE
PAPER AND LISTEN TO THE FIGHT.

CAP (6): "FREDDIE THE FIST" SCHUMACHER WAS TAKING IT
PRETTY HARD IN THE 6TH, NOT THAT THIS WAS MUCH
OF A SURPRISE. WORD ON THE STREET WAS THAT
HARRY STROMBERG HAD PAID SCHUMACHER TO KISS
THE MAT SO HIS BOY BENNY KAPLAN COULD GET A
NOTCH CLOSER TO A TITLE BOUT.

Put what the ANNOUNCER is saying in a jagged edge speech balloon coming from the radio.

ANNOUNCER: … AND ANOTHER RIGHT TO HEAD. I'M NOT SURE HOW
MUCH MORE SCHUMACHER GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE.
HE'S ALREADY BEEN CUT 4 TIMES…

PANEL 4:
SAME

This panel should be a rectangle so that it takes up as little room as possible, leaving space for the larger next panel.

EXTREME CU of Ms. GILROY'S bare feet as she races down the GRAND STAIRCASE. I see this shot through the spaces of the railing supports, possible use the supports to frame the shot. Possibly you could even do this as a LOW ANGLE shot through the supports at an oblique angle. MS. GILROY is wearing a pair of "men's style" pajamas - that means they have pants rather than the traditional dress type worn by women. The pajamas a light blue silk with a darker blue cuff sewn around the bottom.

If the shot won't work as described above, do it as a LOW ANGLE shot from the landing so that MS. GILROY IS COMING directly toward the camera. Frame it so we can see her legs to about mid-calf.

SFX: THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

PANEL 5:
SAME

MS. GILROY speeds across the lobby and around the reception desk toward the radio near KOWLASKI. The camera is on somewhere near where the bottom of the stairs. What we should have is an angle shot across the lobby with the RECEPTION DESK at FRAME LEFT and MS. GILROY closer to FRAME RIGHT. Actually, HARRINTTON should fall on the left 1/3 line ( remember this from basic film class?) and MS. GILROY should be on the right 1/3 line. She is further from us since she is rounding the corner of the desk on her way to the radio. Basically we see her from behind. Don't draw her in a full, tilt sprint but more of a girlish/childish type of run. Remember that she is supposed to be the innocent country girl. HARRINGTON is now board straight with his eyebrows ready to jump off his head. This not a normal happening in HIS hotel and he obviously does not approve. Young women should not be streaking through the lobby, let alone in their pajamas.
PAGE 2

PANEL 1
INT. – NIGHT – CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL LOBBY

ANGLED MEDIUM LONG SHOT of MS. GILROY bent over slightly to change the station on the radio. The CAMERA should be slightly left of perpendicular to MS. GILORY and the radio so that we get somewhat of a profile shot but slightly from behind. This also allows a better shot of the radio, especially the station selector. The station selector should give off a glow - they were lit on most models during the period. You may be able to use this glow to get some interesting effects depending on how you use the shadows in this portion of the lobby. MS. GILROY is frame left and the radio is frame right.

The first balloon is from the radio and should have the same jagged edge/ electronic designation as used on PAGE 1.

ANNOUNCER 1(1): … AMOUNT OF PUNISHMENT HE’S TAKEN IS INHUMAN! THE FANS ARE GETTING THEIR MONEY’S WORTH…

I’m not sure if you want to do this as a sound effect or as a part of the ANNOUNCER’S balloon. I’m listing it as SFX but feel free to use your judgment on this one. I want to make it clear MS. GILROY is changing the station so do whatever you need to get this across. Also, I want it clear that she is changing the station before she asks. Her question is more or less an after thought.

SFX (2): K-SHHHHH-CRACKLE-POP

MS. GILROY (3): ‘'SCUSE ME SIR, YOU MIND IF I CHANGE THE STATION?

PANEL 2
SAME

All right, let’s get a little tricky now. PANEL 2 has a circle insert frame left. The INSERT should be smaller in diameter than the height of the panel and should overlap PANEL 1 ever so slightly, just to give the effect of a zoom to CU. I see the INSERT set closer to the lower frame edge so that it will be below KOWALSKI’S eye level at frame right. The insert is a CU of MS. GILROY’S hand turning the tuning knob and the station selector above.

ANNOUNCER 2 (4): …BACK TO JUMPIN’ JIMMY’S HEPCAT HO’DOWN,
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FINE FOLKS AT COLUMBIA
RECORDS…

Outside the INSERT is a MEDIUM shot of KOWALSKI. This is the first time we’ve seen him in the comic so we need to do this right. KOWALSKI is sitting, his right ankle resting on his left knee and the newspaper folded in half and in half again is in his right hand resting on his right leg. His left elbow is on the chair arm; his left hand should be positioned as if he was raising it take a puff from the cigar – about six inches from his face. He is the picture of a relaxed man. Sure she’s disturbing him but he doesn’t mind. He should have a slight smile – not the full blown Bob Mitchum smile but the beginnings of it. After all, this girl is a knockout.

KOWALSKI (5): ER…SURE THING. FIGHT’S LOUSY ANYWAY. I HAVEN’T
BEEN PAYING IT MUCH MIND.

CAP (6): I LIED. BUT SHE WAS A PAYING GUEST AND I’M JUST
THE HIRED HELP.WHO WAS I TO SAY ANYTHING?

PANEL 3
SAME

CU of MS. GILROY’S face turned toward KOWALSKI. This girl is an absolute drop-dead knockout. Better yet, she doesn’t seem to know it at all. She’s very young, about 19 or so, and still very girlish as I said above. She is no Lauren Bacall( more sophisticated than her years) but her girlish attitude is very alluring. I’m not going for the typical femme fatale. I see her as acting much more like Meg Ryan but Veronica Lake’s face. She’s still fiddling with the radio but maybe you could blur the background on this one so her face really pops. She’s giving KOWALSKI a big Meg Ryan smile.

MS. GILROY (7): Y’SEE, MY BOYFRIEND’S BAND IS PLAYIN’ HEPCAT
HO’DOWN TONIGHT. I PROMISED I’D LISTEN, THEN
LOST TRACK OF TIME. HOPE I HAVEN’T MISSED ‘EM.

PANEL 4
SAME

CU of KOWLASKI somewhat mirroring the previous panel – including the out of focus background. This time he as the cigar in his mouth, held by his left hand. Around the cigar he says -

KOWALSKI (8): REALLY?

Possibly have one of his eyebrows up, the other down as if in slight disbelief.

PANEL 5
SAME

Slightly LOW ANGLE MEDIUM LONG shot of MS. GILROY who is now seated on the loveseat near the fireplace. She is leaning on her arms which are resting on the loveseat arm, the one toward frame KOWALSKI, and her right leg is curled beneath her while left dangles toward the floor. She’s giving us a big-eyed, dreamy type of look. We can also see a pack of cigarettes poking out of the pocket of her pajama top. More of a slight bulge and a little of the top showing.

MS. GILROY (9): OH SURE. REX’S GOT BEAUTIFUL VOICE FOR SINGIN’.
HE SAYS THIS’LL PROBABLY BE HIS BIG BREAK.
HEPCAT HO’DOWN’S HEARD ALL ACROSS THE
COUNTRY. NO WAY HE WON’T GET A CONTACT
AFTER TONIGHT. JUS’ WISH I COULDA BEEN THERE.

PANEL 6
SAME

Basically this shot is a CU version of the last panel. MS. GILROY is now sitting up straighter and she’s pulling a cigarette out of the pack in her pocket with her right hand. The cigarette is actually all the way out and a few inches above the pack. The pack is also pulled further out of the pocket – if you want to get real detailed, make it a pack of CAMELS. The background for this shot should be out of focus.

MS. GILROY (10): WOULD YOU MIND LIGHTING ME UP?
PAGE 3
LAYOUT NOTES:
PANEL 1 is the top tier by itself. Tier 2 is made up of PANELS 2 and 3. PANEL 4 is its own tier. You can narrow Tiers 1 and 3 if you need in order to make space.

PANEL 1
INT – LOBBY OF THE CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL – NIGHT

Slightly LOW ANGLE WIDE shot from the front of the loveseat past MS. GILROY – so that we only catch the side of her face but only from an oblique angle from behind - toward KOWALSKI. This shot is dominated by KOWALSKI. He is standing and leaning toward MS. GILROY, his lighter lighting the cigarette she has in her mouth. Make the lighter a Zippo type, the square kind with the flip shut lid. KOWALSKI is on the left and MS. GILROY is on the right.

KOWALSKI (1): SO, WHAT’S THE SKINNY? WHY AREN’T YOU THERE?

PANEL 2
SAME

MEDIUM SHOT of MS. GILROY. This should be similar to PANEL 5 on PAGE 2 but a little tighter and level rather than low angle. Also, I see the camera at sort of a 45 degrees angle to the corner of the couch. Her left arm is resting lengthwise on the arm of the loveseat. Her right elbow is next to her left hand, her right arm is vertical and the right hand is palm up, the cigarette is pointed tip end down between her fore and middle fingers - give this a girlish yet almost seductive look. MS. GILROYS head is tilted back slightly and angled left ( frame right ) as she blows smoke out through pursed lips.

Put the first speech balloon about the smoke to show she said it before she exhaled.

MS. GILROY (2): <GIGGLES> THE SKINNY? YOU TALK LIKE THE MOVIES,
MISTER…?

KOWALSKI (3): KOWLASKI. THE HOTEL DETECTIVE.

MS. GILROY (4): JESSICA GILROY, ROOM 412. NICE TO MEET'CHA.

MS. GILROY (5): ANYWAY, YA SEE, I HAVEN’T BEEN FEEL TIP-TOP ALL
DAY. I THINK MUST BE ALL THE FANCY FOOD REX’S
BEEN FEEDIN’ ME. I’M JUST NOT USED TO IT. MY
STOMACH’S BEEN DOIN’ FLIP-FLOPS SINCE THIS
MORNING. I TOLD HIM I’D LISTEN ON THE RADIO SO I
DIDN’T MAKE A SCENE AT THE STATION.

PANEL 3
SAME

MEDIUM SHOT of KOWALSKI - this time shot at a 45 degrees angle to his right side so that we can see past him toward the center of the lobby. He she have something of an indulgent older brother about him in this shot. He listening to her because she's young and cute but not really paying too much attention. He's a lot more world weary than her and knows the odds of actually making it "big." He's humoring her fantasies.


KOWALSKI (6): GONNA BE A BIGTIME RADIO STAR, HUH?

MS. GILROY(7) (OS):OH YEAH. EVERYONE ALWAYS TOLD REX HIS VOICE
WAS HIS TICKET OUTTA SCRANTON - THAT'S WHERE
WE GREW UP.

PANEL 4
SAME

LONG WIDE SHOT with the left side dominated by the RADIO. MS. GILROY is in the mid-ground, over at frame right while KOWALSKI is in the background but pretty much in the center of the panel. Have MS GILROY'S head turned toward the radio.

MS. GILROY(7): HE CAME TO THE PHILLY A COUPLE A
YEARS AGO AND FINALLY ENDED UP THIS BAND. YEP,
THEY'RE GOIN' PLACES.

Give me the electronic speech balloon on this one.

ANNOUNCER (8): …BAND FROM RIGHT HERE IN PHILADELPHIA --
REX NICHOLS AND THE *****.

Surround Rex's lines with musical notes to indicate he's singing.

REX (9): I SEE YOUR EYES IN THE MOONLIGHT AND THE STARS
SEEM SOOOO DIM…

MS. GILROY (10): AIN'T HIS VOICE JUST KILLER-DILLER? HE'LL LAND A
CONTRACT FER SURE. THEN WE CAN GET MARRIED. HE
PROMISED AS SOON AS HE MADE IT BIG.

KOWALSKI (11): THAT SOON, HUH?

MS. GILROY (12): HE PROMISED. ACTUALLY, THIS TRIP IS OUR
UNOFFICIAL HONEYMOON. THAT'S HOW COME WE'RE
STAYING HERE. MY MAMMA STAYED HERE WHEN SHE
MARRIED MY STEPDADDY - NOT TOO LONG AFTER IT
OPENED. IT WAS THE GRANDEST PLACE SHE'D EVER BEEN AND THE BEST TIME SHE EVER HAD. SHE TOLD ME SO OFTEN ENOUGH. WELL, I DECIDED WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL THAT I WAS GONNA SPEND MY HAPPIEST DAYS HERE TOO. THAT'S WHAT I TOLD REX…

PANEL 5
SAME

LONG MEDIUM SHOT of MS GILROY still on the loveseat - pretty much in the same position as the rest of the scenes except she's starting to get up. getting MS GILROY pushes her hair out of her eyes with her left hand and her sleeve falls back to reveal her forearm. Her forearm from the inner elbow to a point about four inches away is covered with several sets of pinprick/ needle type marks. The marks are grouped in a irregular pattern of threes that seems almost random.

CAP (13): SHE CARRIED ON LIKE THAT THROUGH MOST OF THE SHOW - TELLING ME ABOUT HER LIFE. THIS NARRATION WAS ONLY INTERRUPTED BY BURSTS OF " ISN'T HE THE CAT''S PAJAMAS" OR "BEE KNNEES" OR SUCHEACH TIME REX HIT A GOOD NOTE. IT'S FUNNY, BUT I FELT I WAS THE ONE IN A MOVIE LISTENING TO ALL HER COUNTRY GIR L SWEETNESS.

MS. GILROY (14): WELL, I PROMISED REX A SURPRISE WHEN HE GOT BACK. TO CELEBRATE YA' KNOW. BETTER GET BACK TO MY ROOM. NICE TALKIN' TO YA.

CIRCLE INSERT: This basically just a CU of MS. GILROY'S arm from the main part of the panel. The INSERT should be smaller in diameter than the height of the panel and probably placed slightly below centered. Also, the INSERT should somewhat overlap the next panel.

The three marks come from a sacrificial knife MS. GILROY uses to conduct her magic. The knife has a handle that rather long and slightly curved. The blade is a triangular tube that ends in three sharp points - one at each of the edges. To achieve this, the top has been carved down - the middle carved out to be precise. I can send a sketch if this isn't too clear. Also, it isn't a perfect triangular shape - think isosceles to give it a certain randomness.


PANEL 6
SAME

TIGHT CU OF KOWALSKI'S FACE OR PARTIAL FACE - HE'S FROWNING.

CAP (15): MY NIGHT SHIFTED DOWN FROM EASY TO DIFFICULT IN
ONE FALLEN SLEEVE. GUESS WHY THEY PAID ME FOR.

KOWALSKI (16): HAVE YOURSELF A GOOD AND TELL REX I SAID GOOD LUCK.

CAP (17): THE BASTARD.
PAGE 4

PANEL 1
EXT. - CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL - NIGHT

EXTREME WIDE LONG SHOT - this panel should run the width of the page - ANGLED past KOWALSKI as he exits the CHERRY BLOSSOM. KOWALSKI IS panel left and we see his head, shoulders and some of his back and right arm. The CAMERA is angled downward toward TEDDY THE DOORMAN. TEDDY IS STANDING at the bottom of the entrance stairs, leaning against a column or whatever you can have him lean against. He's turned somewhat to talk over his shoulder to KOWALSKI. TEDDY is pretty much an average guy. He's somewhere around forty, a big nose and small eyes. His uniform should have similar elements to those of HARRINTON except that TEDDY'S is meant for outdoor weather. Basically, do some sort of an Japanese twist on a classic doorman's coat and hat.

Across the street are some smaller buildings, a two or three floor department store, office space and THE BILLY PENN DINER. The BILLY PENN is a chrome streamlined Deco diner, the type you generally see in period films. It should look almost like a train car that has been set up across the street but with a little more style. The sign would be almost perpendicular to us but it shows a cartoon sketch of William Penn ( a la the stature on City Hall) that is ringed by neon letters saying "BILLY PENN DINER."

KOWALSKI (1): HEY TEDDY, AIN'T IT ABOUT TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE A BREAK? GO ON OVER TO THE BILLY AND GET YOURSELF A SANDWICH AND COFFEE. TKE YOUR TIME, I'LL SPOT YOU FOR A WHILE.

TEDDY (2): YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, MITTS? I GOT AN HOUR OR SO BEFORE IT'S TIME FOR MY LUNCH.

KOWALSKI (3): YEAH. I GOT SOME BUSINESS COMIN' IN THAT YOU DON'T WANNA GET MIXED UP IN.

TEDDY (4): WHATEVER YOU SAY. WON'T CATCH ME ASKIN' TWICE.

PANEL 2
EXT - STREET NEAR THE CHERRY BLOSOM HOTEL - NIGHT

LONG SHOT of a YELLOW CAB coming straight at the camera. This shot should be very similar to panel 2 of page 1 of PATRIOT LEGION. The cab is the typical rounded sedan you see in old movies painted yellow with black doors. The CABBY should look like William Powell ( of Thin Man fame) and have on a gray zip up jacket with a collar and a brimmed uniform hat with a metal badge reading "PHILLY CAB CO." He doesn't look too happy with his current fare.

The current fare includes six drunk musicians crammed into the relatively small car. Each of the men is dressed in an identical tuxedo, though only half are still wearing their coats and ties. For faces you can do Ed Exley, Bud White, Clark Gable, and two movies stars of your choice. The final member is REX NICHOLS. NICHOLS is in the front of the car with Exley and the cabby. He is next to the passenger door since he's the first one getting out. If you can, have some bottles of booze being drunk. We need to give the feeling that totally chaos is occurring inside this cab. Nichols looks like Sterling Hayden.

Possibly have a speech balloon filled with musical notes and six tails to indicate them singing.

CAP (5): I DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR HIM SHOW UP.

PANEL 3
EXT - FRONT OF CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL AGAIN - NIGHT

LONG SHOT of the CAB now idling at the curb in front of the CHERRY BLOSSOM. NICHOLS is stepping out of the cab. His tux is intact except for an untied bow tie. One of the band members is hanging out the window.

MUSICIAN 1 (6): HEY REXIE-POO, GIVE HER A LITTLE SOMETHIN' FROM US, WILL YA?

MUSICIAN 2 (7): YEAH, SOMETHIN' REAL SPECIAL CUZ SHE'S SUCH A
GOOD GIRL!

MUSICIAN 3 (8): SMOOCH - SMOOCH, BIG BOY

This balloon should have multiple tails to show it's from several of the guys.

MUSICIANS (9): HA-HA-HA!

PANEL 4
SAME

MEDIUM SHOT as NICHOLS leans back in the cab and slips the CABBIE a couple of $20 bills, in front of Exley who has now passed out. The CABBIE'S disposition has been worlds better t the sight of that.

NICHOLS (10): MAKE SURE THESE JOKERS GET HOME ALL RIGHT. OKAY MAC?

CABBBIE (11) SURE THING WHEN YOU ASK LIKE THAT.

PANEL 5
SAME

LONG SHOT from across the street looking toward the CHERRY BLOSSOM. The CAB is pulling away but MUSICIAN 1 is still hanging out the window. NICHOLS is starting up the stairs to the main doors but has turned to wave to his band-mates. KOWALSKI is hidden in the shadows and should be barely visible if at all.

MUSICIAN 1 (12) SEE YA' ON THE FLIP LOVER-BOY!

PANEL 5
SAME

LOW ANGLE WIDE SHOT past NICHOLS up the stairs where KOWALSKI steps from the shadows.

KOWALSKI (13): 'SCUSE ME, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE REX NICHOLS WOULD YA?

NICHOLS (14): GOT FANS STOPPING ME ALREADY, HUH?

Heersahoo
08-26-2003, 09:56 AM
PAGE 5

PANEL 1
EXT - FRONT STAIRS OF THE CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL - NIGHT

LONG MEDIUM SHOT as KOWALSKI grabs NICHOLS by the lapels. KOWALSKI is standing at least a step above NICHOLS since NICHOLS has more than a few inches on him. You might want to draw this slightly HIGH ANGLE since KOWALSKI still think he has a handle on situation.

KOWALSKI (1): NOT QUITE, BROTHER. I KNOW HAT YOU GOT GOIN' ON AND IT AIN'T HAPPENIN' IN MY HOTEL. SO HOW ABOUT YOU BE NICE AND GO DOWN THE CORNER TO THE BUS STOP. SHOULD BE ONE ALONG ANY MINUTE.

PANEL 2
SAME

EXTREME CLOSE UP of NICHOLS' eyes. The irises are pinpricks, barely visible. His brow has pulled down in the middle; he's definitely not happy.

CAP (2): THAT'S WHEN I NOTICED HIS EYES WERE PINNED. GREAT, I HAD A HOPPED UP BENNIE JUNKIE ON MY HANDS.

PANEL 3
SAME

NICHOLS uses both hands to push away KOWALSKI, knocking the detective to his back on the stairs.

NICHOLS (3): GET YER GRIMY HAND OFF ME, YA CHEAP DICK. YER' WRINKLIN MY SHIRT AND I GOTTA LOOK PRETTY FOR MY GIRL.

PANEL 4
SAME

LONG SHOT past KOWALSKI as he lunges at NICHOLS with a nasty right hook which misses as NICHOLS dodges.

KOWALSKI (4): I TOLD YA TO BE NICE, DIDN'T I? NOW WE GOTTA DO IT THE DIFFICULT WAY.

Place near KOWALSKI'S punch.

SFX (5): SWISH

PANEL 5
SAME

Same shot as the last panel but tighter in, more of a medium shot. NICHOLS has his arm cocked back, ready to nail KOWALSKI. This one shot be LOW ANGLE and really emphasize NICHOLS size.

PANEL 6
THIS IS A SFX PANEL AND SHOULDN'T HAVE A BORDER.

Possibly have a huge fist dominating the panel with the SFX across it like a pair of brass knuckles.

SFX (6): KA-SMACK!
PAGE 6

PANEL 1

A completely BLACK panel.

TEDDY (OS) (1): MITTS, COME ON, WAKE UP…

PANEL 2
EXT - THE SIDE OF THE CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL - NIGHT

LOW ANGLE POV SHOT from KOWALSKI up at TEDDY THE DOORMAN. TEDDY is leaning over, smacking KOWALSKI across the face to get him to come to. In the background we can see the buildings across the street described earlier.

TEDDY (2): LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THE BUSINESS END OF YOUR
BUSINESS.

PANEL 3
SAME

HIGH ANGLE SHOT showing a REVERSE ANGLE of the previous panel. KOWALSKI is on the ground leaning against the side of the building, a nasty gash on the side of his head.

KOWALSKI (3): HELP ME UP, WILL YA SMART GUY? I GOTTA GET THAT PUNK THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE AND QUICK.

CAP (4): REX HAD CLEANED MY CLOCK BUT GOOD. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW LONG I'D BEEN COLD, WHICH MEANT HE COULD'VE BEEN UP TO GOD-KNOWS-WHAT.

PANEL 4
INTERIOR - CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL - NIGHT

WIDE SHOT of the lobby towards the front door. KOWALSKI is about halfway across looking much the worse for wear. He's holding a handkerchief against the cut on his face but some of the blood has dropped on his suit coat and the collar of his white shirt. Try to make the suit look rumpled, as if he was carried and dumped, which he was. Maybe even put on some dirt stains.

HARRINGTON is holding the desk phone handset with his left hand, his right hand covering the mouthpiece. He is looking imperious and distraught simultaneously, his whole ordered world has been thrown off axis.

HARRINGTON (5): MR. KOWALSKI, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? THIS PHONE HAS BEEN RINGING NONSTOP FOR 15 MINUTES WITH COMPLAINTS FROM THE FOURTH FLOOR. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM YOU DUTIES, I WILL BE FORCED TO INFORM MR. BESTER. FROM YOUR APPEARANCE I GATHER YOU WERE INVOLVED IN SOME SORT OF BAR BRAWL…

KOWALSKI (6): DROP IT, YOU LIMEY TWIT. I'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS… FOURTH FLOOR… DAMN!

CAP (7): 15 MINUTES? SOUNDS LIKE REX OUGHTTA BE IN THE RING INSTEAD OF SINGIN'.

PANEL 5
INT - STAIRWELL - NIGHT

HIGH ANGLE LONG SHOT looking down the center shaft of the stairwell. This stairwell leads from the guestrooms down to the second floor so it is well appointed unlike a simple service stair. KOWALSKI is running up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

PANEL 6
INT - THE SECOND FLOOR - NIGHT

Past KOWALSKI as he reaches the top of the stairs, his hand resting on the newel post for support - he's running on adrenaline but he's still in bad shape from his beating - we can see at least one of the guest room doors.

Through the door can be heard:

VOICE (8): AYE-EEEE , AHHH-GUH!

VOICE (9): LUH-OOG, MMPH, ACKKK!
PAGE 7

PANEL 1
INT - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - NIGHT

WIDE SHOT of several GUESTS in the hallway. Some have robes wrapped around them haphazardly; the others look as if they just rolled out of bed. They should all be middle-aged or older.

The speech balloons should overlap one another to get the feeling as if they are all talking at once.

GUEST 1 (1): WHAT THE HE

GUEST 2 (2): I CALLED

GUEST 3 (3): HAVEN'T HEARD SCREAMS LIKE THAT SINCE THE GREAT WAR.

GUEST 4 (4): FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES.

GUEST 5 (5): WOKE ME OUT OF A SOUND SLEEP.

GUEST 6 (6): USED TO BE A RESPECTABLE HOTEL.

PANEL 2
INT - SAME

SLIGHTLY HIGH ANGLE MEDIUM SHOT PAST the CROWD toward KOWALSKI. Probably have three of the guests at most in this shot.

KOWALSKI (7): THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN FLOLKS BUT PLEASE GET BACK TO YOUR ROOMS. NOW.
GUEST (8): BUT..?

KOWALSKI (9): YOU DEAF?

VOICE (OS) (10): AYE-EE, AY-EEE, MALA-RA!

The next three panels should be nearly identical and should all appear on the same tier. These panels should be squares or nearly squares.

PANEL 3
INT - SAME

MEDIUM CLOSE UP of KOWALSKI in profile as he bangs on the door.
KOWALSKI (11): ALL RIGHT, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!

VOICE (12): AHH-AHHH, ALLAY - AHH!

PANEL 4
INT - SAME

KOWALSKI waits for an answer but the chanting continues with no break.

VOICE (13): AHH-GUH, SALLA-GI!

Surround the balloon with a heavy outline of something to make it appear extremely violent.

VOICE 2 (14): ARRRRR -OHHH! <BOLD>

PANEL 5
INT - SAME

KOWALSKI'S eyes are wide; his jaw dropped but there is silence.

PANEL 6
INT - MISS GILROY'S ROOM - NIGHT

LONG SHOT from inside the room of KOWALSKI who is silhouetted in the doorway. The room is dark and we can only see him as a dark shape.

SFX (15): KRAAACK!

PANEL 7
INT - SAME

CLOSE UP of KOWALSKI who is even more flabbergasted and confused than before.

KOWALSKI (15): WHAT THE HELL…?

PAGE 8

PANEL 1
INT - MISS GILROY'S ROOM - NIGHT

KOWLSKI'S POV of MISS GILROY kneeling astride REX'S prone body. MISS GILROY is completely naked but the room is dark and she has her back to us so we can't really see anything. There is some ambient light from the window that illuminates REX, and her somewhat but only at the edges. She has her right hand raised above her head holding a strange knife type thing. This is the knife that made the strange marks on her arms that KOWALSKI took for needle tracks. A description of the knife is given in PANEL 5 of PAGE 3. In her other hand is REX'S heart which is being held out as an offering to the demon that is standing just past the bed near the window.

The Demon, this is the important part. I want something totally different here. No humanoid resemblance at all. Maybe something like the barrel creatures from At the Mountains of Madness. I see something of that shape with six spindly legs protruding from the bottom third. These legs can be insectish, sort of armor plated. The feet should have three toe/claws going forward and two out the back to stabilize. The upper section should have three arms, similar in design to the legs but as if they have changed in evolution to act as grasping members instead of locomotion. The middle toe/claw/finger should have some sort of elongated knife-like claw and the stabilizing toes are used as thumbs. The body is covered in hair like protrusion - much like cat whiskers - that grow in oddly arranged patches. You choose the arrangement. The mouth is located on the top of the barrel and should have a fairly nasty, maw like appearance. There are three sets of three eyestalks set just outside the mouth. They should be positioned so that they are in the spaces between the arms.

On the floor is a "magic circle" that isn't really a circle. Make it some weird, non-regular geometric shape like HPL always talks about. A geometry not our own. Put some cryptic symbols around the outer edge, outside the "circle." The symbols and the circle should be glowing.

PANEL 2
SAME

HIGH ANGLE of the DEMON as it eats the heart. Have it holding the heart in one of its "hands" and just getting ready to drop it into its mouth. Maybe you could have some "feelers" coming up from the mouth and wrapping around the heart. The knife -claw should be cutting into the heart with possibly a squirt of blood. Have one set of "eyes" looking at the heart, one looking at MS. GILROY and the last at KOWALSKI. If we see Ms. Gilroy in the shot, make sure that she is covered by the DEMON. WE want to keep that PG rating.

PANEL 3
SAME

WIDE SHOT of past MS. GILROY who is now standing, facing KOWALSKI. This panel could have the obligatory butt shot. The sacrificial knife is still in her hand; her arm is hanging at her side. We can see KOWALSKI in the background. Maybe he has moved a little bit into the room but he should be mostly silhouette. Also, the DEMON has torn off a piece of REX and is munching on it. Possibly an arm.

SFX (1): CRUNCH-CRUNCH

PANEL 4
SAME

MEDIUM SHOT of KOWALSKI who has drawn his pistol from a shoulder holster. The pistol should be something like a police service revolver, a snub-nosed .38 or something like that. Maybe he is leaning on a small table just inside the door for support. This is pretty much beyond anything he's ever seen.

PANEL 5
SAME

CLOSE UP of MISS GILROY. This shot should be from just above the nipples upward. Her chest and face are covered in blood spatter. She has strange far away look in her eyes. Have her head tilted slightly one way, which way doesn't matter.

MISS GILROY (2): QUITE A SURPRISE, DON'T YOU THINK?
PAGE 9

PANEL 1
INT - LOBBY OF CHERRY BLOSSOM HOTEL - MORNING

WIDE SHOT tight on KOWALSKI, he's positioned frame left. We see his head and hands as he holds the morning newspaper. He is pretty much as we saw him at the beginning except for the cut on his head that is now bandaged. The background is out of focus, but we can see the elevator, which is just opening. A woman's shape can be seen inside the elevator.

CAPT (1): THE NEXT MORNING.

CAP (2): WHAT A CRAZY NIGHT.

SFX (3): DING

PANEL 2
SAME

Almost identical shot but slightly tighter on KOWALSKI who is now out of focus in the foreground and MS. GILROY is in focus in the background. We should only see the left side of KOWALSKI'S face. This arrangement should achieve a RACK FOCUS type of effect. MS. GILROY is about midway between the elevator and KOWALSKI. She is dressed in a nice woman's suit of the period and a wide brim hat with netting women used to wear to church. Think old lady hats.

CAP (4): FREDDY THE FIST MANAGED A K.O. SHOT IN NINETH.
PAPER SAYS HE DISAPPEARED RIGHT AFTER THE FIGHT.

CAP (5): PROBABLY TRIED SKIPPING TOWN WITH BENNY'S
DOUGH. NEVER WAS TOO BRIGHT. TOOK TOO MANY
HEAD SHOTS.

PANEL 3
SAME

HIGH ANGLE SHOT as MS. GILROY walks past KOWALSKI, not even noticing him there. You might do this one from the direction of the sitting area and toward the front. That way MS. GILROY is more in the foreground with KOWALSKI behind her.

KOWALSKI (4): WHERE ARE YOU THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING MS.
GILROY?

PANEL 4
SAME
CLOSE UP of MS. GILROY as she looks back over her shoulder. She says with a sly smile-

MS. GILROY (5): WHY MR. KOWALSKI, IT'S SUNDAY. TO CHURCH, OF
COURSE.

PANEL 5
SAME

CLOSE UP of KOWALKSI giving that knowing, Bob Mitchum-like smile.

CAP (6): I COULDN'T REALLY NAIL HER ON ANYTHING. THERE
WASN'T MUCH EVIDENCE LEFT ONCE THAT THING GOT
DONE.

CAP (7): DIDN'T SEEM MUCH POINT TO CALLING THE BLUE
BOYS.

PANEL 6
SAME

WIDE SHOT past KOWASLKI as he watches her sashay toward the front doors. She is mostly a silhouette because of being backlit from the doors.

CAP (8): AND IN A TOWN LIKE THIS, WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU
MIGHT NEED TO CALL IN A FAVOR FROM POWER LIKE
THAT'. JUST ANOTHER CARD IN MY DECK.


THE END.

banshee
08-27-2003, 12:23 AM
I just did a quick run thru as well as peeked at the finished product.

' PHONE HAS BEEN RINGING NONSTOP FOR 15 MINUTES WITH COMPLAINTS FROM THE FOURTH FLOOR. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM YOU DUTIES, '
- your

KOWALSKI (16): HAVE YOURSELF A GOOD AND TELL REX I SAID GOOD LUCK.

- time

nothing more really... nice!!!!!!!!!!

:D

later days
lia etc

Heersahoo
08-27-2003, 07:00 AM
Banshee,
Thanks for the grammar check. For some reason I can edit the heck out of other people's stuff but my own... well, not so good. I guess I'm just too close:D

banshee
08-27-2003, 08:17 AM
oh totally. I can edit other ppl's stuff but I tend to miss my own mistakes LOL

gng to get to grips wt the story round once I finish up this script for Cuddly :D

all suggestions welcome!

later days
lia etc