Heersahoo
08-26-2003, 09:20 AM
Hi all,
Thought I would post a portion of a script I'm working on so you can all get to know me a bit and my writing style. I'm very interested to see some crits of the work. If there's interest I have several more pages written. This was originally the first issue of the series but after reading the Epic guidelines by Marvel, I rethought it and I'm working on a first issue intriducing the characters and relationships a bit better. So please, don't hold back - let me know what you think.
Ike
Kross & Boanes
Chapter 2: DEAD-EYED SHARKS
Written by C. ISAAC HORTON, JR.
NOTE: PAGES 1-7 must be colored in muted, almost black and white tones and use very contrasted light and shadow effects to give the feeling of a World War II spy film as well as a general feeling of the occasionally lit Paris streets at night.
PAGE 1
PANEL 1:
EXT. PARIS STREET - NIGHT
HIGH ANGLE – The camera is sitting on the top step of a flight of ancient stone stairs looking down, angled so that we catch a full view of the stone wall flanking the left side of the stairs. Someone has just run by the camera, we see his left foot and part of a leg at frame left. The pant leg should be more of a workman's trouser, nothing fancy but the shoe should be something like a wingtip or dress shoe, possibly a cap-toe.
The RUNNING MAN'S shadow stretches along the stone wall, falling across the numerous travel posters and show bills – most peeling in the damp air. A bullet ricochets off the wall, somewhere about the mid-torso of the shadow-man, tearing away bits of the poster and sparking in the dim light. The wall continues at least three feet above the top step level. This should allow enough room for the shadow to show in reasonably realistic proportions. The stone wall then has a wrought-iron fence around the top. A street lamp is set at the top of the stairs on PANEL RIGHT.
The stairs go down to a wide landing where they then double back on themselves. The shot comes from the lower portion of stairs, through a black wrought-iron railing. The shadows of two men can be seen against the stone wall at the far side of the landing. Imagine this as an outside stone stairwell. The back wall is also covered in posters. At least some of the posters on this wall should be NAZI propaganda.
This is single panel SPLASH PAGE. The fliers on the stair wall would be a great place to put the credits.
CAP (1): PARIS, SEPTEMBER 1940
SFX (2): SPLANG!
PAGE 2
PANEL 1:
CLOSE UP of the RUNNING MAN’S face - he is DR. OTTO PERLBERGER. PERLBERGER'S face is obscured by shadows; we can’t really make out his features, just some hotspots on his cheeks and forehead. He’s wearing a worker’s hat and wool jacket but we see an incongruous white dress shirt and necktie pulled tight at his throat. PERLBERGER has a leather satchel-type briefcase clutched to his chest as he runs -we may see this at the bottom of the panel but make sure that he has in subsequent panels.
Over his shoulder we see the two MEN in black overcoats coming to the top of the stairs.
DIAGONAL TRANSITION TO:
PANEL 2:
LOW ANGLE of the MEN IN OVERCOATS as they reach top of the stairs. The MAN on the RIGHT is pointing PANEL LEFT, TWISTING to start RUNNING that direction. The left MAN has his head TURNED the direction his partner is pointing. Both MEN are carrying Walther military issue pistols. They should keep these pistols in their hands through out this sequence. ZEIBER is LEFT HANDED, while KRAMER is RIGHT HANDED.
These men are GESTAPO AGENTS. The man on the right is HAUPTSTURMFUHRER (CAPTAIN) ADOLF ZEIBER. ZEIBER is in his late 30's, average height ( about 5' 8"), with dark brown hair and brown eyes. The other man is OBERSTURMFUHRER (1RST LT.) HORST KRAMER. KRAMER is the NAZI poster boy - six foot one, blond crew cut, blue eyes and built like a brick shithouse. He is definitely the muscle in the group. Both men are dressed in black suits, nearly identical. Neither is wearing a NAZI armband but both have Swastika tie tack piercing their black ties. The Swastika should not be visible until a CLOSE UP near the end of this sequence. All we should see is a red circular tie tack.
PANEL 3:
HIGH ANGLE – The CAMERA watches from a rooftop as PERLBERGER splashes down the cobblestone street heading PANEL RIGHT. The street begins to curve left, PERLBERGER is nearer the far wall - running on the shorter part of the curve. The GESTAPO AGENTS are pursuing PANEL LEFT, but aren’t nearly as far from the PERLBERGER as they were. They are closing his lead. The GESTAPO AGENTS are staggered, the ZEIBER one falling slightly behind. KRAMER has a stride ZEIBER just can't match. KAMER is shooting at PERLBERGER. If there is some way to make it look like he's firing multiple shots, do this. The shoots ricochet off the far wall, not far from PERLBERGER.
SFX (1): BLAM* if there are multiple shots, do several SFX
CIRCULAR INSERT:
CLOSE UP of the PERLBERGER'S forearm and hand – he’s checking his watch. The watch reads 12:55.
CAP (2): < GOTTA LOSE THEM QUICK. ONLY 8 MINUTES 'TIL SHE LEAVES THE RENDEVOUS. >
PANEL 4:
PERLBERGER is running toward the CAMERA past ancient Parisian row homes and shops - he's almost close enough to touch the wall PANEL RIGHT. The street curves away right behind him. The GESTAPO AGENT'S shadows loom huge on the buildings on the left side though they are out of frame.
We finally get a better look at PERLBERGER. He is short - five foot five approximately - and thin. His features are very Jewish. The coat is too long for him, hanging to mid-thigh instead of waist level. There is no way that he should be able to out run either of the GESTAPO AGENTS but he is. Fight or flight is a wonderful evolutionary development.
PANEL 5:
PERLBERGER is looking over his shoulder when he collides with a DRUNK who is sprawled in one of the doorways. The drunk totters outward, dropping a wine bottle. The GESTAPO AGENTS are visible in the background now.
PERLBERGER (2): UNH!
SFX (3): WHUMP!
PAGE 3
PANEL 1:
The DRUNK is lying in the street now, but he's pushing himself up on his arms to look at PERLBERGER. KRAMER collides with the DRUNK - KRAMER was trying to step over the DRUNK just as the DRUNK pushed himself up. ZEIBER, in turn, runs into KRAMER. KRAMER has his pistol up and ready to fire as he falls forward.
DRUNK (1): < WHAT THE… ? >
SFX (2): SMACK
DRUNK (3): OOF!
KRAMER (4): AAAAH!
SFX (5): THUMP
ZEIBER (6): SCHEISSE!
PANEL 2:
WIDE CLOSE UP of PERLBERGER, FRAME LEFT, as he looks over his shoulder. Past him we can see the GESTAPO AGENTS entangled with the DRUNK on the street. KRAMER is sandwiched between the two other men but still manages to fire his pistol.
SFX (7): BLAM
PANEL 3:
LOW ANGLE – Another set of stairs – looks like the famous MONTMARTRE STAIRS (See PHOTO 1). The steps are wide with a rail and lights down the middle like the photo. The buildings are situated FRAME RIGHT as well. The difference is that PANEL LEFT is dominated by a small park with densely growing trees. It is almost impossible to see anything inside the park beyond vague, dark shapes.
PELBERGER has just exited the side street and s at the head of the stairs, turned to descend.
Another bullet ricochets off the corner of the building to PERLBERGER'S left - little bits of stone explode toward him. He hunches away from the impact as a piece hits him on the cheek.
SFX (8): SPLING
PHOTO 1 PHOTO 2
PANEL 4:
HIGH ANGLE past the GESTAPO AGENTS looking down the stairs ( See PHOTO 2). The stairs are empty the entire length; PERLBERGER is nowhere in sight.
PANEL 5
ZEIBER is turned to look the direction they had been running; KRAMER is behind him, starting down the stairs. The CAMERA is looking toward the direction from which the men just came - we can see the drunk in the background, though he is small. ZEIBER'S eyes are narrowed.
ZEIBER (9): < DOWN THE STREET OR DOWN THE STAIRS?>
KRAMER (10): < STAIRS. I SAW HIM TURN, SIR. >
PANEL 6:
REVERSE ANGLE OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT past ZEIBER down the street (BRASSAI). The BRASSAI is empty but for a single car parked halfway between where ZEIBER is standing and the next intersection.
ZEIBER (11): <OKAY, GO DOWN. HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN
TOO FAR. >
PAGE 4
PANEL 1:
LOW ANGLE as the GESTAPO AGENTS run down the stairs. Frame this so the park is behind them.
SFX (1): CLOP-CLOP-CLOP
PANEL 2:
Almost a REVERSE ANGLE of the previous shot, past PERLBERGER who is hiding inside the park - possibly only a few trees inside the gloom. He is breathing heavily, bent over slightly, holding his chest with his left hand. He has the satchel in his right hand. He never sets it down.
PERLBERGER (2) HUFF-HUFF-HUFF * DO IN SMALL FONT SHOWING HE
DOES THIS QUIETLY
PANELS 3,4,5 should all appear on the same tier. The idea is to get the feeling on a 180 degree pan from left to right.
PANEL 3 ( LEFT PANEL ):
If you were standing across the street, facing toward the stairs, this panel would be the view to your left. The street (COUCTEAU), lined with buildings on either side, extends into the distance, finally dead ending into a perpendicular street with a line of buildings on the far side. The street is empty except for a few parked cars. Another street (PRIORY) borders the left edge of the park and dead ends into this street.
PANEL 4 ( CENTER PANEL ):
The GESTAPO AGENTS are standing on the sidewalk across the street, KRAMER looking towards PANEL 3 while ZEIBER looks toward PANEL 5. Both should have somewhat confused and angry expressions.
PANEL 5 ( RIGHT PANEL ):
This street, also lined with various building on either side, extends with no one visible.
PAGE 5:
PANEL 1:
LONG MEDIUM SHOT at a forty-five degrees angle from the stairs showing ZEIBER yelling at KRAMER. ZEIBER is really reaming the larger man.
ZEIBER (1): SCHEISSE!
ZEIBER (2): < I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE CAME THIS WAY? >
KRAMER (3): < I'M SURE HE DID, SIR. I… I SAW HIM TURN THE CORNER. WHERE ELSE COULD HE HAVE GONE? >
ZEIBER (4): DUMPFBACKE! < THEN WHERE HELL IS HE? OUR ASSES ARE ON THE LINE HERE. IF HE ESCAPES WE'LL BE LUCKY IF THEY ONLY SHOOT US. >
PANEL 2:
MEDIUM SHOT of PERLBERGER, from behind, making his way through the park. He's near the edge of the park and you can see the buildings across the street through the trees. The buildings should be illuminated in pools of light from the same antique looking light posts as on the stairs. The trees and PERLBERGER should be almost totally in silhouette.
SFX (5): RUSTLE-RUSTLE
PANEL 3:
REVERSE ANGLE of previous shot. PERLBERGER is now standing at the edge of the park looking to see if he is in the clear. This is PRIORY STREET, the one that runs perpendicular to the COCTEAU. He has a cut on the left side of his face from the wall chunks.
PANEL 4:
The GESTAPO AGENTS are still debating what to do. ZEIBER has his back to the CAMERA and is pointing down COCTEAU toward PRIORY with his left ( gun) hand. He's got KRAMER arm and is turning him that direction.
ZEIBER (6): <THE NEAREST TRAIN STATION'S FOUR BLOCKS THAT WAY. LET'S HOPE HE WENT FOR THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. >
ZEIBER (7): < DAMMIT! >
PANEL 5:
Looking down the hill as PERLBERGER is running toward the CAMERA, the GESTAPO AGENTS appearing around the corner at the bottom of the hill. The satchel is swinging wildly in PERLBERGER'S right hand as he runs.
PERLBERGER (8): HUFF-HUFF-HUFF
CAP (9): ALMOST THERE. HOPE THEY DIDN'T SCARE HER OFF.
PANEL 6:
CLOSE UP of ZEIBER. He's holding his pistol in a two-handed grip pointed directly at the CAMERA and firing off a shot.
ZEIBER (10): HALT!
SFX (11): KABLAM
PAGE 6:
PANEL 1:
PERLBER GER, from behind, is running to the corner just as a police car, lights flashing, speeds into view from where he's running. ZEIBER'S bullet hit's the police car's front tire
SFX (1): THUNK
PANEL 2:
The POLICE CAR spins out of control. The two SURRETE (POLICE) officers, eyes wide, brace themselves. The DRIVER is trying to regain control.
COPS (2): AAAHHH!
SFX (3): SCREEECH
PANEL 3:
The POLICE CAR slams into a light post on the park side corner of PRIORY and BRASSAI, bending the light post over.
SFX (4): CRAASH
PANEL 4:
SLIGHTLY HIGH ANGLE of the PASSENGER COP, from behind, has his door open, using it as shield. He has his pistol thrust through the open passenger side window. He's pointing it at the GESTAPO AGENTS who are about half way up the hill.
COP (5): ARRETEZ!
COP (6): < DROP THE PIECE! >
PANEL 5:
ZEIBER is holding something up for the COP to see but we are too far away to really see what it is. Then again, so is the COP.
PAGE 7:
PANEL 1:
MEDIUM SHOT of the COP who is still pointing his pistol through the passenger side window. His eyes are squinted, trying to make out what ZEIBER is holding.
COP (1): < WHAT'S THAT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? >
PANEL 2:
CLOSE UP of ZEIBER holding out a leather identification holder similar to what cops use. This is the first shot where we can clearly see that SWASTIKA tie tack.
ZEIBER (2): < GESTAPO. YOU'RE INTERFERRING IN AN OFFICIAL REICH MANHUNT! MOVE BEFORE I DROP YOU WHERE YOU STAND. >
ZEIBER (3): <GA'DAM FROG SNOT. > (MUTTERED)
PANEL 3:
ZEIBER and KRAMER run past the wrecked cop car. The COP is slumped against looking both confused and scared - the Gestapo's reputation has traveled fast. The COP'S arm is hanging limp at his side and his eyes are wide. The DRIVER is basically a silhouette inside the car.
PANEL 4:
LONG SHOT of KRAMER as he sort of skids to a stop at the BRASSAI Corner. The street is empty including the car that had been parked there earlier.
KRAMER (4): < HE'S GONE. >
PANEL 5:
LONG CLOSE UP of ZEIBER.
ZEIBER (5): <HIMMLER'S GOING TO BE LESS THAN PLEASED. MAYBE IT'S TIME I TOOK THAT TRIP TO BUENOS AIRES I'VE ALWAYS FANCIED. >
PANEL 6:
ZEIBER shoots KRAMER at point blank range. Both are in silhouette but the muzzle flash lights their faces. The back of KRAMER'S head explodes though this is in silhouette to make it less gory.
ZEIBER (6): < SORRY KRAMER BUT NO TAG-ALONGS. >
PAGE 8:
NOTE: PAGE 8 must be colored with ever brightening colors to give the effect of the sun rising and revealing the world. Each panel should be slightly more saturated than the previous panel until the bright, almost four-color style final panel.
PANEL 1:
EXT - THE COUNTRYSIDE - SUNRISE
LONG SHOT of the CAR from PAGE 3 PANEL 6 driving through the French countryside. The sun is just beginning to rise, backlighting the car and the sporadic trees. The countryside is made of slight hills, most which have been broken into farm fields - give it that patchwork look.
CAP (1): A FEW HOURS LATER.
PANEL 2:
INT - THE CAR - SAME
AVRIL SAUNIERE, young, attractive but not gorgeous, is driving the car. She is wearing a fashionable dress for the 40's, her dark brown hair in an appropriate style. The feature that keeps her from being prettier is her large aquiline nose. She should appear to be going for a nice drive in the country with her boyfriend rather than helping a wanted fugitive escape the Gestapo.
PERLBERGER is leaning against the passenger door asleep; the satchel still clutched to his chest. Definitely make him look rumpled and haggard - he's had quite a night.
AVRIL (2): < WAKE UP MONSIEUR, WE ARE ALMOST THERE.
THE FARM IS JUST OVER THAT HILL. >
PANEL 3:
EXT - FARM FIELD - A LITTLE PAST SUNRISE
The car is pulling up along side a small plane, think SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS type, parked in a field. The pilot has the engine cover open and is checking something. In the background we can see a small farmhouse and barn.
PANEL 4
PERLBERGER is out of the car and the PILOT has come over to him. They are shaking hands.
AVRIL is partially out of the car, but hidden behind the open driver's side door.
PILOT (3): DR. PERLBERGER? CAPT. HORNBLOWER, RAF. HATE TO CUT THE PLEASANTRIES SHORT, BUT WE NEED TO BE AIRBORNE ASAP. YOU'RE RUNNING A LITTLE BEHIND SCHEDULE AND DAYLIGHT MAKES IT A BIT EASIER FOR GERRY'S ACK-ACK TO SPOT US.
PANEL 5:
INT - THE PLANE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
We are looking through the cockpit window, possibly at an oblique angle. HORNBLOWER is checking his setting, fiddling with some knobs near the ceiling. He flashes PERLBERGER a grin. PERLBERGER is in the passenger seat looking a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts - still has the satchel clutched to his chest.
The engine is going and so is the propeller. They are ready to take off.
HORNBLOWER (4): DON'T WORRYDOCTOR, THIS IS JUST A LITTLE PUDDLE JUMP. I'LL HAVE YOU IN SHEFFIELD IN TIME FOR A GOOD ENGLISH BREAKFAST. THE RIDE MIGHT BE A BIT BUMPY THOUGH.
SFX (5): VRRRRRRRR
PANEL 6:
EXT - FARM FIELD
AVRIL, from behind, is waving as the plane takes off and banks back toward her. She is backlit, mostly a silhouette with color creeping around the edge. AVRIL'S dress and hair should be blown by the wind from the plane. This should be a very iconic image.
END OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE
Thought I would post a portion of a script I'm working on so you can all get to know me a bit and my writing style. I'm very interested to see some crits of the work. If there's interest I have several more pages written. This was originally the first issue of the series but after reading the Epic guidelines by Marvel, I rethought it and I'm working on a first issue intriducing the characters and relationships a bit better. So please, don't hold back - let me know what you think.
Ike
Kross & Boanes
Chapter 2: DEAD-EYED SHARKS
Written by C. ISAAC HORTON, JR.
NOTE: PAGES 1-7 must be colored in muted, almost black and white tones and use very contrasted light and shadow effects to give the feeling of a World War II spy film as well as a general feeling of the occasionally lit Paris streets at night.
PAGE 1
PANEL 1:
EXT. PARIS STREET - NIGHT
HIGH ANGLE – The camera is sitting on the top step of a flight of ancient stone stairs looking down, angled so that we catch a full view of the stone wall flanking the left side of the stairs. Someone has just run by the camera, we see his left foot and part of a leg at frame left. The pant leg should be more of a workman's trouser, nothing fancy but the shoe should be something like a wingtip or dress shoe, possibly a cap-toe.
The RUNNING MAN'S shadow stretches along the stone wall, falling across the numerous travel posters and show bills – most peeling in the damp air. A bullet ricochets off the wall, somewhere about the mid-torso of the shadow-man, tearing away bits of the poster and sparking in the dim light. The wall continues at least three feet above the top step level. This should allow enough room for the shadow to show in reasonably realistic proportions. The stone wall then has a wrought-iron fence around the top. A street lamp is set at the top of the stairs on PANEL RIGHT.
The stairs go down to a wide landing where they then double back on themselves. The shot comes from the lower portion of stairs, through a black wrought-iron railing. The shadows of two men can be seen against the stone wall at the far side of the landing. Imagine this as an outside stone stairwell. The back wall is also covered in posters. At least some of the posters on this wall should be NAZI propaganda.
This is single panel SPLASH PAGE. The fliers on the stair wall would be a great place to put the credits.
CAP (1): PARIS, SEPTEMBER 1940
SFX (2): SPLANG!
PAGE 2
PANEL 1:
CLOSE UP of the RUNNING MAN’S face - he is DR. OTTO PERLBERGER. PERLBERGER'S face is obscured by shadows; we can’t really make out his features, just some hotspots on his cheeks and forehead. He’s wearing a worker’s hat and wool jacket but we see an incongruous white dress shirt and necktie pulled tight at his throat. PERLBERGER has a leather satchel-type briefcase clutched to his chest as he runs -we may see this at the bottom of the panel but make sure that he has in subsequent panels.
Over his shoulder we see the two MEN in black overcoats coming to the top of the stairs.
DIAGONAL TRANSITION TO:
PANEL 2:
LOW ANGLE of the MEN IN OVERCOATS as they reach top of the stairs. The MAN on the RIGHT is pointing PANEL LEFT, TWISTING to start RUNNING that direction. The left MAN has his head TURNED the direction his partner is pointing. Both MEN are carrying Walther military issue pistols. They should keep these pistols in their hands through out this sequence. ZEIBER is LEFT HANDED, while KRAMER is RIGHT HANDED.
These men are GESTAPO AGENTS. The man on the right is HAUPTSTURMFUHRER (CAPTAIN) ADOLF ZEIBER. ZEIBER is in his late 30's, average height ( about 5' 8"), with dark brown hair and brown eyes. The other man is OBERSTURMFUHRER (1RST LT.) HORST KRAMER. KRAMER is the NAZI poster boy - six foot one, blond crew cut, blue eyes and built like a brick shithouse. He is definitely the muscle in the group. Both men are dressed in black suits, nearly identical. Neither is wearing a NAZI armband but both have Swastika tie tack piercing their black ties. The Swastika should not be visible until a CLOSE UP near the end of this sequence. All we should see is a red circular tie tack.
PANEL 3:
HIGH ANGLE – The CAMERA watches from a rooftop as PERLBERGER splashes down the cobblestone street heading PANEL RIGHT. The street begins to curve left, PERLBERGER is nearer the far wall - running on the shorter part of the curve. The GESTAPO AGENTS are pursuing PANEL LEFT, but aren’t nearly as far from the PERLBERGER as they were. They are closing his lead. The GESTAPO AGENTS are staggered, the ZEIBER one falling slightly behind. KRAMER has a stride ZEIBER just can't match. KAMER is shooting at PERLBERGER. If there is some way to make it look like he's firing multiple shots, do this. The shoots ricochet off the far wall, not far from PERLBERGER.
SFX (1): BLAM* if there are multiple shots, do several SFX
CIRCULAR INSERT:
CLOSE UP of the PERLBERGER'S forearm and hand – he’s checking his watch. The watch reads 12:55.
CAP (2): < GOTTA LOSE THEM QUICK. ONLY 8 MINUTES 'TIL SHE LEAVES THE RENDEVOUS. >
PANEL 4:
PERLBERGER is running toward the CAMERA past ancient Parisian row homes and shops - he's almost close enough to touch the wall PANEL RIGHT. The street curves away right behind him. The GESTAPO AGENT'S shadows loom huge on the buildings on the left side though they are out of frame.
We finally get a better look at PERLBERGER. He is short - five foot five approximately - and thin. His features are very Jewish. The coat is too long for him, hanging to mid-thigh instead of waist level. There is no way that he should be able to out run either of the GESTAPO AGENTS but he is. Fight or flight is a wonderful evolutionary development.
PANEL 5:
PERLBERGER is looking over his shoulder when he collides with a DRUNK who is sprawled in one of the doorways. The drunk totters outward, dropping a wine bottle. The GESTAPO AGENTS are visible in the background now.
PERLBERGER (2): UNH!
SFX (3): WHUMP!
PAGE 3
PANEL 1:
The DRUNK is lying in the street now, but he's pushing himself up on his arms to look at PERLBERGER. KRAMER collides with the DRUNK - KRAMER was trying to step over the DRUNK just as the DRUNK pushed himself up. ZEIBER, in turn, runs into KRAMER. KRAMER has his pistol up and ready to fire as he falls forward.
DRUNK (1): < WHAT THE… ? >
SFX (2): SMACK
DRUNK (3): OOF!
KRAMER (4): AAAAH!
SFX (5): THUMP
ZEIBER (6): SCHEISSE!
PANEL 2:
WIDE CLOSE UP of PERLBERGER, FRAME LEFT, as he looks over his shoulder. Past him we can see the GESTAPO AGENTS entangled with the DRUNK on the street. KRAMER is sandwiched between the two other men but still manages to fire his pistol.
SFX (7): BLAM
PANEL 3:
LOW ANGLE – Another set of stairs – looks like the famous MONTMARTRE STAIRS (See PHOTO 1). The steps are wide with a rail and lights down the middle like the photo. The buildings are situated FRAME RIGHT as well. The difference is that PANEL LEFT is dominated by a small park with densely growing trees. It is almost impossible to see anything inside the park beyond vague, dark shapes.
PELBERGER has just exited the side street and s at the head of the stairs, turned to descend.
Another bullet ricochets off the corner of the building to PERLBERGER'S left - little bits of stone explode toward him. He hunches away from the impact as a piece hits him on the cheek.
SFX (8): SPLING
PHOTO 1 PHOTO 2
PANEL 4:
HIGH ANGLE past the GESTAPO AGENTS looking down the stairs ( See PHOTO 2). The stairs are empty the entire length; PERLBERGER is nowhere in sight.
PANEL 5
ZEIBER is turned to look the direction they had been running; KRAMER is behind him, starting down the stairs. The CAMERA is looking toward the direction from which the men just came - we can see the drunk in the background, though he is small. ZEIBER'S eyes are narrowed.
ZEIBER (9): < DOWN THE STREET OR DOWN THE STAIRS?>
KRAMER (10): < STAIRS. I SAW HIM TURN, SIR. >
PANEL 6:
REVERSE ANGLE OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT past ZEIBER down the street (BRASSAI). The BRASSAI is empty but for a single car parked halfway between where ZEIBER is standing and the next intersection.
ZEIBER (11): <OKAY, GO DOWN. HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN
TOO FAR. >
PAGE 4
PANEL 1:
LOW ANGLE as the GESTAPO AGENTS run down the stairs. Frame this so the park is behind them.
SFX (1): CLOP-CLOP-CLOP
PANEL 2:
Almost a REVERSE ANGLE of the previous shot, past PERLBERGER who is hiding inside the park - possibly only a few trees inside the gloom. He is breathing heavily, bent over slightly, holding his chest with his left hand. He has the satchel in his right hand. He never sets it down.
PERLBERGER (2) HUFF-HUFF-HUFF * DO IN SMALL FONT SHOWING HE
DOES THIS QUIETLY
PANELS 3,4,5 should all appear on the same tier. The idea is to get the feeling on a 180 degree pan from left to right.
PANEL 3 ( LEFT PANEL ):
If you were standing across the street, facing toward the stairs, this panel would be the view to your left. The street (COUCTEAU), lined with buildings on either side, extends into the distance, finally dead ending into a perpendicular street with a line of buildings on the far side. The street is empty except for a few parked cars. Another street (PRIORY) borders the left edge of the park and dead ends into this street.
PANEL 4 ( CENTER PANEL ):
The GESTAPO AGENTS are standing on the sidewalk across the street, KRAMER looking towards PANEL 3 while ZEIBER looks toward PANEL 5. Both should have somewhat confused and angry expressions.
PANEL 5 ( RIGHT PANEL ):
This street, also lined with various building on either side, extends with no one visible.
PAGE 5:
PANEL 1:
LONG MEDIUM SHOT at a forty-five degrees angle from the stairs showing ZEIBER yelling at KRAMER. ZEIBER is really reaming the larger man.
ZEIBER (1): SCHEISSE!
ZEIBER (2): < I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE CAME THIS WAY? >
KRAMER (3): < I'M SURE HE DID, SIR. I… I SAW HIM TURN THE CORNER. WHERE ELSE COULD HE HAVE GONE? >
ZEIBER (4): DUMPFBACKE! < THEN WHERE HELL IS HE? OUR ASSES ARE ON THE LINE HERE. IF HE ESCAPES WE'LL BE LUCKY IF THEY ONLY SHOOT US. >
PANEL 2:
MEDIUM SHOT of PERLBERGER, from behind, making his way through the park. He's near the edge of the park and you can see the buildings across the street through the trees. The buildings should be illuminated in pools of light from the same antique looking light posts as on the stairs. The trees and PERLBERGER should be almost totally in silhouette.
SFX (5): RUSTLE-RUSTLE
PANEL 3:
REVERSE ANGLE of previous shot. PERLBERGER is now standing at the edge of the park looking to see if he is in the clear. This is PRIORY STREET, the one that runs perpendicular to the COCTEAU. He has a cut on the left side of his face from the wall chunks.
PANEL 4:
The GESTAPO AGENTS are still debating what to do. ZEIBER has his back to the CAMERA and is pointing down COCTEAU toward PRIORY with his left ( gun) hand. He's got KRAMER arm and is turning him that direction.
ZEIBER (6): <THE NEAREST TRAIN STATION'S FOUR BLOCKS THAT WAY. LET'S HOPE HE WENT FOR THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. >
ZEIBER (7): < DAMMIT! >
PANEL 5:
Looking down the hill as PERLBERGER is running toward the CAMERA, the GESTAPO AGENTS appearing around the corner at the bottom of the hill. The satchel is swinging wildly in PERLBERGER'S right hand as he runs.
PERLBERGER (8): HUFF-HUFF-HUFF
CAP (9): ALMOST THERE. HOPE THEY DIDN'T SCARE HER OFF.
PANEL 6:
CLOSE UP of ZEIBER. He's holding his pistol in a two-handed grip pointed directly at the CAMERA and firing off a shot.
ZEIBER (10): HALT!
SFX (11): KABLAM
PAGE 6:
PANEL 1:
PERLBER GER, from behind, is running to the corner just as a police car, lights flashing, speeds into view from where he's running. ZEIBER'S bullet hit's the police car's front tire
SFX (1): THUNK
PANEL 2:
The POLICE CAR spins out of control. The two SURRETE (POLICE) officers, eyes wide, brace themselves. The DRIVER is trying to regain control.
COPS (2): AAAHHH!
SFX (3): SCREEECH
PANEL 3:
The POLICE CAR slams into a light post on the park side corner of PRIORY and BRASSAI, bending the light post over.
SFX (4): CRAASH
PANEL 4:
SLIGHTLY HIGH ANGLE of the PASSENGER COP, from behind, has his door open, using it as shield. He has his pistol thrust through the open passenger side window. He's pointing it at the GESTAPO AGENTS who are about half way up the hill.
COP (5): ARRETEZ!
COP (6): < DROP THE PIECE! >
PANEL 5:
ZEIBER is holding something up for the COP to see but we are too far away to really see what it is. Then again, so is the COP.
PAGE 7:
PANEL 1:
MEDIUM SHOT of the COP who is still pointing his pistol through the passenger side window. His eyes are squinted, trying to make out what ZEIBER is holding.
COP (1): < WHAT'S THAT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? >
PANEL 2:
CLOSE UP of ZEIBER holding out a leather identification holder similar to what cops use. This is the first shot where we can clearly see that SWASTIKA tie tack.
ZEIBER (2): < GESTAPO. YOU'RE INTERFERRING IN AN OFFICIAL REICH MANHUNT! MOVE BEFORE I DROP YOU WHERE YOU STAND. >
ZEIBER (3): <GA'DAM FROG SNOT. > (MUTTERED)
PANEL 3:
ZEIBER and KRAMER run past the wrecked cop car. The COP is slumped against looking both confused and scared - the Gestapo's reputation has traveled fast. The COP'S arm is hanging limp at his side and his eyes are wide. The DRIVER is basically a silhouette inside the car.
PANEL 4:
LONG SHOT of KRAMER as he sort of skids to a stop at the BRASSAI Corner. The street is empty including the car that had been parked there earlier.
KRAMER (4): < HE'S GONE. >
PANEL 5:
LONG CLOSE UP of ZEIBER.
ZEIBER (5): <HIMMLER'S GOING TO BE LESS THAN PLEASED. MAYBE IT'S TIME I TOOK THAT TRIP TO BUENOS AIRES I'VE ALWAYS FANCIED. >
PANEL 6:
ZEIBER shoots KRAMER at point blank range. Both are in silhouette but the muzzle flash lights their faces. The back of KRAMER'S head explodes though this is in silhouette to make it less gory.
ZEIBER (6): < SORRY KRAMER BUT NO TAG-ALONGS. >
PAGE 8:
NOTE: PAGE 8 must be colored with ever brightening colors to give the effect of the sun rising and revealing the world. Each panel should be slightly more saturated than the previous panel until the bright, almost four-color style final panel.
PANEL 1:
EXT - THE COUNTRYSIDE - SUNRISE
LONG SHOT of the CAR from PAGE 3 PANEL 6 driving through the French countryside. The sun is just beginning to rise, backlighting the car and the sporadic trees. The countryside is made of slight hills, most which have been broken into farm fields - give it that patchwork look.
CAP (1): A FEW HOURS LATER.
PANEL 2:
INT - THE CAR - SAME
AVRIL SAUNIERE, young, attractive but not gorgeous, is driving the car. She is wearing a fashionable dress for the 40's, her dark brown hair in an appropriate style. The feature that keeps her from being prettier is her large aquiline nose. She should appear to be going for a nice drive in the country with her boyfriend rather than helping a wanted fugitive escape the Gestapo.
PERLBERGER is leaning against the passenger door asleep; the satchel still clutched to his chest. Definitely make him look rumpled and haggard - he's had quite a night.
AVRIL (2): < WAKE UP MONSIEUR, WE ARE ALMOST THERE.
THE FARM IS JUST OVER THAT HILL. >
PANEL 3:
EXT - FARM FIELD - A LITTLE PAST SUNRISE
The car is pulling up along side a small plane, think SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS type, parked in a field. The pilot has the engine cover open and is checking something. In the background we can see a small farmhouse and barn.
PANEL 4
PERLBERGER is out of the car and the PILOT has come over to him. They are shaking hands.
AVRIL is partially out of the car, but hidden behind the open driver's side door.
PILOT (3): DR. PERLBERGER? CAPT. HORNBLOWER, RAF. HATE TO CUT THE PLEASANTRIES SHORT, BUT WE NEED TO BE AIRBORNE ASAP. YOU'RE RUNNING A LITTLE BEHIND SCHEDULE AND DAYLIGHT MAKES IT A BIT EASIER FOR GERRY'S ACK-ACK TO SPOT US.
PANEL 5:
INT - THE PLANE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
We are looking through the cockpit window, possibly at an oblique angle. HORNBLOWER is checking his setting, fiddling with some knobs near the ceiling. He flashes PERLBERGER a grin. PERLBERGER is in the passenger seat looking a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts - still has the satchel clutched to his chest.
The engine is going and so is the propeller. They are ready to take off.
HORNBLOWER (4): DON'T WORRYDOCTOR, THIS IS JUST A LITTLE PUDDLE JUMP. I'LL HAVE YOU IN SHEFFIELD IN TIME FOR A GOOD ENGLISH BREAKFAST. THE RIDE MIGHT BE A BIT BUMPY THOUGH.
SFX (5): VRRRRRRRR
PANEL 6:
EXT - FARM FIELD
AVRIL, from behind, is waving as the plane takes off and banks back toward her. She is backlit, mostly a silhouette with color creeping around the edge. AVRIL'S dress and hair should be blown by the wind from the plane. This should be a very iconic image.
END OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE