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MightyMatt
08-21-2003, 11:49 PM
Alright I really need some input on the outline my writer has set up...
Basically I just need what you like and what could be improved upon.
I am not a certified writer, so this is my writer's stuff although I am quite involved in plot ideas as well. But without further ado here it is...
Here is the latest on my DH proposal as per my writer:

Here are a couple of ideas I've been throwing around
in regards to Blood Bullets.

The story is a western set on a frontier world in the
far future. THe Human colonists are led by the Haas
family, whose youngest daughter has been kidnapped.

Sari Halpern is a 30ish Indiana Jones-type and the
heroine of our story. She is an orphan who was raised
by a thief, but works for an intergalactic museum.
She's visiting this world in search of an artifact
called Oyola Gusta, the Good Eye. She and her robot
companion, BillyFish, are roped into helping the
Haas'.

The vampiric non-human colonists from the other side
of the planet are really superman-type aliens who have
these powers because of the nature of the planet.
Their genetic material is sympathetic to the sentient
planet, who the kidnapped girl can speak with. Turns
out Sari is sensitive to the girl, psychically, and
that's how they can find her. Unfortunately, the girl
is being used by the non-humans to create fear in the
other kidnapped humans so that the non-humans can
feast on the adrenaline created in their brains, which
is a drug for them.


This is just a barebones outline, but all input would be nice and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Thanks
matt

banshee
08-22-2003, 06:06 AM
dont hv to be a certified writer to write :D
welcome to thewritersdesk!

Hmm.. I like the ideas of that story but I hv a few suggestions or questions (that could become angles hehehe)

why is Sari searching for the artifact, is it the clue to her heritage or where she came from? And what does it do? What do the Haas offer her that she teams up wt them?

So.. the vampire non-colonist.. is there a war of sorts btwn the two sides? And how can the kidnapped girl create the fear etc etc?

these are questions I hv but it cld be a great story actually :)

looking fwd to seeing more work

later days
B

MightyMatt
08-22-2003, 09:11 PM
I know I can't answer all the questions Banshee but I know I can answer some...
First Sari is looking for the artifact because she is the Indiana Jones-type, and she works for an intergalactic museum. I am thinking my writer wants her looking for the artifact for the museum.
I have no idea what the Oyola Gusta does....I shall ask my writer.
The Haas are pretty much the 'royalty' of the area, so I am pretty sure they are hiring Sari with plenty of money.
The vampire colonists- not a war, they just kinda live on the outskirts of the planet, and I believe they are somewhat territorial. They probably pick up wandering stragglers who leave the safety of the town.
I believe they are creating fear through their captive prisoners because the kidnapped girl is a potent psychic.
Anyways I will send off these questions to my writer and he shall have answers...or I could always have him pop up on pj and tell you all the logistics himself.

matt

banshee
08-23-2003, 06:09 AM
Bring him into PJ :) It wld be great to have new writers and PJ members up here and it will save you asking him and then he replying you, etc.

and ok reg: the answers :D

looking fwd to seeing more!

later days
lia etc

MightyMatt
08-24-2003, 10:47 PM
Banshee
I let my writer know to join pj, so he should be coming to this forum, so please welcome him. His name is Jason, and he is a pretty damn good writer.
Otherwise there should be more stuff up in at most a week, even if it is concept art for it.

matt

banshee
08-25-2003, 05:24 AM
cool beans, Matt :)

Definitely will welcome him, I am good at that if nothing else LOL

(waves at Jason) let him intro himself here and I'd say helloooo :D

later days
Lia etc

Vendetta
08-25-2003, 07:29 AM
*gets warmed up*

Helloooooo jason
no no

Hello Jason

too formal

Howdy-do Jase ole been

hell no...

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nurse

yikes

howdy?

erg...

banshee
08-25-2003, 09:11 AM
Ven... u been at the toast again havent u....

(witholds the toaster from the mad Ven)

later days
lia etc

Vendetta
08-25-2003, 05:39 PM
Ha! I have yet thwarted yon attempts to control mine self

*holds up a shinning new toaster*
I bought it yesterday :p

banshee
08-25-2003, 08:01 PM
(steals shiny new toaster while ven is nursing his headache)

u know what wimmen are like, Ven ;-)

Vendetta
08-26-2003, 06:22 PM
grrrr

you mean woemen

banshee
08-26-2003, 07:58 PM
<dents Ven's shiny new toaster by bopping him on the head wt it>

enough said...

Vendetta
08-27-2003, 12:48 AM
woe to me... from banshee

see

I told you it was woeman

banshee
08-27-2003, 01:10 AM
LOL yeah, yeah

MightyMatt
08-27-2003, 10:40 PM
it's really funny how quickly this got off topic...
anyways all the new stuff....well I should have a script soon, and the vampires are made up of castes....workers, warriors and the queen.
I don't think Jason told me anything new, except he will be jumping onto the pj forum within sometime in September....he is a busy man.
okay that's it....proceed with your toaster talk.

matt

banshee
08-27-2003, 10:53 PM
hehehehee ok cool Matt :D

looking fwd to seeing more anyways!

later days
lia etc

Vendetta
08-27-2003, 11:50 PM
what? me? Off topic?