First Sequential

[MazinGo5]

Hi everyone. I know I haven't been on here for quite some time. I think I'll be back for a bit. This is the first sequential I actually completed. It's a dorky little thing I thought up to show how great Mazinger Z is. Here it is:

http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/anime/MazinCS.jpg

I tried to follow traditional Banpresto style manga-ing by making the mechs kind of SD is some frames. Notice how in the first frame, his head is a bit big. That's how they do it...Weird huh? :p
I also did a poor inking job with the lineart. That's because I wasn't taking it too seriously at first.

Anyway. I need help with my sequentials because I'm starting an online manga that will take on MegaTokyo. So any help would be great!

Thanks!

[fatmancomics]

I've seen some of the old Go Nagai drawings of Mazinger and this is a very different style. That Mazinger in the top part of the page looks more chibi(?) than anything to me. Mr. Nagai drew Mazinger in a very elongated fashion and you've shortened him.
The cheesy dialogue is pretty much on point but you've cut the action way too much. I'm guessing you did this to keep it down to one page but Koji yells "breast fire" and we don't see anything happen. Where's the breast fire?! Even in the old comics Mr. Nagai liked to show the breast fire and the beasts melting away. You still had room for some action on the page instead of filling it up with whatever that mass is and the explosion in the last panel.
Of course, this is just my opinion from one Mazinger fan to another. You may do with it as you please.

[Ragelion]

Keep it up!! Looking good. Always can use more Mazinger, or Great Mazinger or even Mazinkaiser!!

[MazinGo5]

Thanks for the comment. I already pointed out that I made him look SD on purpose. Apparently, you haven't seen any of the SRW Mangas. I was just trying to follow their style. Also, I believe that being able to stylize something is very important. If you do something the same way as everyone else, where is the originality? As for the cheesy dialogue, that's what old school is all about. Also as I said, I need to learn more about doing sequentials. But I do understand where you are coming from with the action stuff.

[fatmancomics]

I already pointed out that I made him look SD on purpose. Apparently, you haven't seen any of the SRW Mangas. I was just trying to follow their style. Also, I believe that being able to stylize something is very important. If you do something the same way as everyone else, where is the originality?


I guess it would help if I knew what "SD" and "SRW" stand for.

This is why posts get hundreds of views and under five replies. If you ask for a critique, I don't think you should make excuses for the flaws pointed out in them. But that's just my opinion. Wouldn't want to start a flame war...

[MazinGo5]

For the Mazinger fan you claim to be, I'm surprized you didn't know what SD or SRW was. SD stands for super deformed, or chibi. SRW is Super Robot wars. I don't know why you think a flame war would start. Seeing as you implied it. I simply explained myself. Am I allowed to do so?

[fatmancomics]

Well, thanks for the explenation. It certainly helps. As far as being a Mazinger fan, I'll admit that I've only LOOKED through some of the original manga by Go Nagai and I'm a fan of the animation since the mangas aren't really all that easy to find.
You certainly are allowed to explain yourself but please understand that when you do so in response to someone's critiques, it sounds like you're making excuses. A lot of people post their work in here and ask for C&C then make excuses for the critiques they get. But like you said, you explained it before hand so no harm done.:D

[brendon]

I see the pen strokes in your inking work...and....well....no need to by shy....I hate them!!!

:D j/k

I used my imagination to imagine the black areas being jet black, however, and then I thought it was very well done!

I guess I'm just making an inking critizism.

[MazinGo5]

I see what you mean. That's what I get for using random pens I found around the house. A.K.A. Cheap ass pens!!! :p

[brendon]

in fact, I wouldn't blame the pens at all. I'll bet the pens you used were just fine. Large areas which need to be colored with black can often be filled with brush, which often leaves brush strokes. However, in todays modern world we can easily remove these brush strokes in the computer stage of creation.

You've apparently already put the art onto the computer, so with a little computer enhancement you can fix it right up with a couple of mouse clicks...I'm sure!

Of course, it's true, if you used a really strong indian ink brush or pen, you wouldn't have as much of an issue. But as long as you've already scanned it, you can just use the computer to fix it up.

Maybe you can go to the 'tips and tech' forum here in penciljack and ask somebody how to do that...


good luck!!!

[MazinGo5]

Yeah I probably should have done the computer thing. But trust me...these pens were horrible! Thanks for the tips and everything, but just wondering. Why do you assume that I don't know how to do the computer thing?