The Cartographer Knight (3 pgs)

[Siftland]

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE NEW STUFF!

Been a long while since I've done any traditional comic work. I'm happy (at least right now) with how it turned out.

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-1.jpg

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-2.jpg

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-3.jpg

This was going to be a three pager, but instead of leaving everyone hanging I've decided to extend it.

Please tell me what you think.

[Siftland]

Fixed some stuff with the third page. Added some gradation tones.

[benlw]

Your style is really great and the grey tones work well.

I'm not sure I get what is going on though. Page 1 to 2 is okay but I lose it when it comes to the flying clock. Page 3 is also hard to decipher. Maybe if you added text (dialogue) it would help?

[Siftland]

Hey there. I finally finished this sequence. I didn't get much of a response first time around here but I'll try again. I'd like to hear what you comic guys think about it.

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-4.jpg

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-5.jpg
http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-6.jpg
http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-7.jpg

http://www.gnourg.com/comics/cart1/cart1-8.jpg

I'm happy with it right now, but I'll probably still do some tweaking. I also might try and find a way to make the tones a little better when resizing.

Edit: Oh....I guess you can't really change the thread's title. Well I guess if you've read this far you know it's 8 pages now instead of 3.

[Siftland]

Are people not scrolling down or something? I'd like to get at least a few comments. I've gotten way more response with these at non-comic art forums.

*bump*

[Iwillbe1]

so there's this cartographer see, and he has a thing for clocks, like he hallucinates about clocks whenever he takes opium or whatever is the rage in the day of cartographers....

Seriously, its weird but generally fairly well rendered except for a couple things:

1) an overuse of the zipatone or however you achieved the greys ( which are pretty good in of themselves mind you)

2) your rendering of human anatomy, while obviously stylized, is too incorrect, I can't be specific because you take liberties with just about every aspect of rendering the human figure, you want to be stylized but you still have to be convincing....

3) generally the story is indecipherable to me. Near as I can tell he's on some sort of quixotic quest in Dali land, is a bad cartographer and can't hold a brush properly. AND he's high.

but please remember, I did say that the work is generally, fairly well rendered and you do have an obvious ability with ink and a brush, so if I were in your shoes I'd be pleased but not satisfied with this piece...and be eager to keep at it!

I'll be looking for more of your work.....

[Siftland]

hahaha

That's a pretty funny interpretation! Made me laugh. It's humorous to me that you think this is so weird because I've done stuff a lot weirder that this in the past. I kinda considered this the be my more or less 'normal' adventure story.

1) I did use them a lot. But I like them (they look great printed actual size but a bit wonky on the net). It helps push the retro feeling.

2) Yeah, my anatomy is typically not that great. I'm used to comments about it all the time. I even screw up anatomy looking at reference, and could probably spend 10 hours on each figure and it would still be messed up. It's a curse. I don't know, I've never been a real proponent for strict anatomy, and thusly don't have a knack for it like some people. I don't think it's the most vital important thing like so many artists out there.

Anyway, I hope it improves a bit more over time, because I'd like to show my work and not get "work on anatomy" comments anymore. It's kind of strange actually because I get most comments like that from comic guys, but in my opinion most comics (especially superhero books) have terrible anatomy.

3) I think you understand what's going on more than you think. I've found that my decision not to include text on this one has caused some people to write it off as nonsensical. Lots of comic readers rely on the text to tell the story above the pictures, and the fact that people don't really observe the pictures fully to understand meaning throws them off. Anyway, this is not very deep, and what you think is happening most likely is.

Thanks for commenting. I hope to impress you more in the future.

(PS- He's holding his dip pen incorrectly, not his brush heh)

[Iwillbe1]

OK, indecipherable was not the right way to put, lets say uncertain....which is ok sometimes...
BUT, as far as anatomy goes, I'm not saying your figures need to be bristling with exacting muscle and detail, they do need to be proportional, even when being distorted as part of the story, to some degree anyway...but you see the problem don't you, people will always be distracted if you don't try to make the figures a little more convincing, anatomy and perspective wise, and if they're distracted by that, then they'll not be able to fully enjoy your macabre, intense and generally interesting depictions of other states of mind.....

cheers...

[Siftland]

Of course I understand that.

The general consensus I've gotten though is this: artists can tell that the anatomy is whack in places but don't think it takes away much (or think it fits with the style)....The non-artists I've showed this to can't detect any error there (but for the most part don't enjoy comics anyway heh) so that's the trade-off I guess. As long as the problems don't prevent you from enjoying it (which it very well may if you are an artist who puts a major emphasis on anatomy), then I'm fine with it. Which is not to say that I'm not striving to get better...I'm might as well give up if that's the case right?

Anyway, enough about that. Anyone else have anything to say?

[Super Rats]

It looks like you have the dots arranged at a 0 degree angle, based on the dot arrangement on the first panel of the new set of pages, plus the moire patterns on the other panels. The dots tend to look better arranged at a 45 degree angle (examples below, both with the same dot size and frequency). Might be too much trouble to change that now.

Zero Degree Angle:

http://www.happysoda.com/images/zero.GIF

45 Degree Angle:

http://www.happysoda.com/images/45.GIF

[Siftland]

I tried angle-ing (not a word) the tones at 45 degrees, but it still looks weird when you resize. It's the resize that's the problem.

At 45 degrees it looked like a diagonal grid instead of a vertical/horizontal one. It actually adds tension to the panel too. I'll keep experimenting. It's sort of an annoying obstacle I just need to get over if I want to use this stuff.

There's also that funky thing your eye does when looking at a checkerboard grid, where the space beween the blacks look red.