Samples for SanDiego

[Jeremie]

I hope the size of this file does not kill anyone. I can lower it if you ask me.

This is a set of pages I am taking with me to SanDiego Con this week.

I'd be pleased with your feedback.

It is Bruce Banner going into a base to enter into a hypercube. He is met by obscure Marvel characters.

my address is:

http://www.illustrationist.com/samplePages.html


thanks,
Jeremie Lederman

[dikiminster]

Nice work, Jeremie! Storytelling seems good, and your drawing is clear, too. Good luck at san D.:D

[hannibus]

For what it's worth, I'll drop ya my two cents. You can do what you will with it.

Overall, it looks like you've got a decent handle on most of it and it seems like just a matter of most of it ironing itself out with more hard work. In other words, you're starting to reach that point where your improvement is going to be based more on your own hard work and study than people's advice/critiques. For my own work, I refer to what Dave Sim said, "..you have two thousand bad pages in you and until you draw them, you won't start producing good pages."

Having said all that, here's my "for what it's worth".

page 1 - First thing I noticed is that you're guiding the viewer's eye off the page with the guy's pointing action in panel 3. That's typically a "no-no".
Take a look at the hand on the steering wheel. Grab a mirror. Now pick up something vaguely cylindrical. Tilt your hand to the desired angle in the mirror. Study it. Draw it.
Do the same thing with all your hands. You're on the right track with the hand in the last panel on page 1.
Watch out for things repeating on the page. For instance, you've got a profile in panel two, a profile in panel 5, another in panel 6. Notice the shape you repeat with guys' bent arms, three times on the page -- once in panel 2, and two more times in panel 5.
Take a look at the guy's right foot in panel 4. Put a boot out in front of you, stand at the proper angle. Draw it.
Back/top of the guy's head/hat in panel 4. Put a hat on a friend. Have them sit in front of you at a slightly lower elevation -- either take a picture for reference or just draw it from life.
Is Banner wearing a suit jacket? A sport coat? Something more casual? Decide what kind of jacket it is, put one on a friend, study it. Draw it.
The guy's profile in the last panel looks decent, but take a look at somebody's profile and really study how the eye looks in profile. Don't draw it like you *think* it should be, draw it like it is.

Page 2 -- Looks decent. It's kind of small to see some stuff. Some of the feet in panel one need to be looked at. I totally dig the first guy's face in panel 3. The second guy, the one standing at attention between the first guy and Banner, looks a little flat and if you overlap him a bit more with Banner's jacket, it'll become more clear that he's actually behind Banner. Think "intersecting lines" and "overlap".
I like the choice of the perspective in the elevator (for some reason, I'm assuming they are in an elevator and I think it's because of the perspective you chose). Something's not right with the perspective on the corner, though.

Page 3 -- A great deal of unused space.

Page 4 -- Same. Fill up some of that space.
Take a look at Banner's eye in the close-up. Find some reference and work on that.
It's here that I'll mention I did notice your use of establishing shots, close-ups (you could get even closer to show some drama somewhere though), two shots, three shots, etc... Looks like you've done your homework, there.

Page 5 -- Jacket/wrinkles again.
Panel 2, Peter Parker?
Notice that repeating pattern thing again. Banner's arm, Dino's arm. Rom's arm, Rom's arm, Rom's arm, Rom's arm.
Panel 4 nicely engages the space. Nice use of lineweights in this panel. They even hold up this tiny. Rendering on the super skrull looks good at this size. Overlap/intersect that tree in the background with super skrull's stretching arm, more. It'd be nice to see you carry more of what you've got going on in this panel, throughout all the pages.

Overall, you've varied your camera angles and you've got some shining moments like that panel 4 on page 5 and that guy in the foreground page 2, panel 3, etc... that would be cool to see carried throughout.

Again, I don't know that I'm qualified to give you a critique and I'm probably talking out of my arse.
Take it all for what it's worth and keep working. Like I said, it looks like you're getting to that point where it's going to be mostly up to you and how long you can sit at that drawingboard, anyhow.

As an afterthought: All those military-looking guys and I did notice you've avoided drawing a firearm (with the possible exception of something tiny in the background somewhere). Challenge yourself and make yourself draw the things you try to hide. You'll have to draw them at some point, anyhow and you'll only get better each time you have to do it. Might as well be now!

And with that, it is time for me to get back to my two thousand bad pages.

Good luck!

regards,

-shawn m

[Jeremie]

the Dave Sim quote was very appropriate.

I have twelve letters back from Marvel in responce to my work. They are all very positive and personalised like your reply...

After drawing nearly 60 pages of samples, I agree with Dave.

I appreciate your thoughts immensly. I am going to rework some things in view of your very good comments and try to turn in very good work next week.

best regard!

[misfitX]

not bad, good execution, exellent story-telling and really good rendering. the only thing i don't like is on the last page where super skrull is-a hittin' tha dinosaur, the wrap around the head thing is cool but the angle he's hitting at (and maybe the lack of speed lines or anything to indicate force) makes it seem like he won't do any damage. superb pages tho and i love the inclusion of rom (it is rom right?)

[Ian Miller]

Wow, those pages were hella good! They were very orderly and easy to comprehend. You also have an excellent artistic style. I have a few questions, though. Do you start off your drawings with a blue non-repro pencil? I can see blue marks where a basic skeleton would be. Also, are parts of it inked, or are they just pencilled very darkly? It's somewhat hard to tell as the page goes on.

I also read that you got letters back from Marvel. Did they like what you had? If they didn't, it only proves my theory that Marvel is a bunch of fickle fools who would hire garbage artists (no names will be mentioned), but would not enjoy true talent such as yours. Keep up the good work, and may the **** be with you.

[brendon]

i think all of the pages look like expert, professional, pro-talent art...

but I was just a little bored when I looked at them...why?

I dont' know...

maybe they just need color...

[Jeremie]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by UniverseX259
(SNIP) I have a few questions, though. Do you start off your drawings with a blue non-repro pencil? I can see blue marks where a basic skeleton would be. Also, are parts of it inked, or are they just pencilled very darkly? It's somewhat hard to tell as the page goes on.

Yes. My usual process is lots of thumbnails and then some digital photos. Once I think my brain is in good standing with my layout, i blue everything in.

I try not to draw everything twice, as was my early habit...all in blue and then again in pencil. So I am getting better at using my light table, photo references and favorote pencils...

I think the few darker pages look inked because I sharpened it in photoshop (probably too much).

I appreciate your comments.

[Jeremie]

>
Originally posted by brendon
i think all of the pages look like expert, professional, pro-talent art...>

that means a lot to me. thanks

<but I was just a little bored when I looked at them...why?

I dont' know...

maybe they just need color... >

I may not be the planets most effective writer...

I am trying to include everything the companies want to see:
Casual, lighting, action, perspective, etc...

I figure if I canget happy drawing pages like these, I'll be all the more pleased to draw cool stuff as well.

[Jeremie]

just to pass along the outcome of showing my work around at the convention...;pencil;

I didnt get my name posted for a review at DC comics.

Marvel didnt even show up except for a pannel discussion

The crossgen dillema was: Unless you get a ticket, tough luck. So probably 500 pages of anime and Goku were hoplessly reviewed.

Dark Horse Said in essence: No real problems here, great rendering and smooth storytelling. NEXT! :confused:

However, I met a dozen talented writers and got to chew the fat with Neal Adams and Steve Rude.

The main thing I got positive feedback was that my biggest deficit is with story telling. The advice was to storyboard out more stories and not work so much JUST on samples.

Samples are ment to accomplish a dozen things in five pages so there is not a proper development of story telling and layout.

I told Neal Adams one of the editors said perhaps if I worked on my style more, he said "That's BULL$**T, style is NOT the issue, it's working harder and studying life more closely!" (He said much more, but it would take two posts...)

I'll pass along more when I have time.

Jeremie

[EddieChingLives]

Do it. Pass this information along. Any pro-advice is good advice to share.

Anyways, here's what I can point out in your pages. Now I have an attension span of a knat, so be warned.

Page One:
Panel 3 might work better as a close-up. So the eye can rest and not worry about all the detail. I'm not even sure if you need panel 3.

And the transition from panel 3 to 4, it looks like the pointing in panel 3 doesn't line up. In panel 4, it looks as if he was pointing way above the subjects head.

But great spotting blacks, drawing cars, buildings, etc. Very professional looking.

Panels 5 and 6 there is also another jump cut. The man with the cell phone flips 180. Not a smooth transition.

Page Two:
Panel 1. I have no idea where this is? It's like out of the blue, here's some monsters. You gotta set this stuff up. SUSPENSE. Each new character should have an entrance. Page one, both introductions to characters were set up very well. Here, it's kind of out of the blue.

Now panels 2-5, I don't know which panels to read next. Do I read from top to bottom, or left to right? Most comics read left to right, but here, it looks like the only way it'd make sense was to move down, then up diagonally. It's just not a smooth flow for the eyes to read.

So far, work on panel to panel transitions, and layout flow.

Panels 2 and 3, Im not sure they are working. One of them should probably have to go. Will Eisner said that each new panel has to move the story along. You should eliminate panel 2, and stretch panel 3 to fill in the space. And maybe draw the van and the figure walking in panel 3. This makes it an easier transition, and it helps the flow.


Page Three:
On one of the starbur videos with Todd McFarlane, he explained how when you want to break-in and show editors stuff, they only want to see simple a,b,c,d storytelling. Keep the flashy stuff reserved. Don't break the panel borders. So just keep it simple. And instead of leaving the negative space, why not stretch the panel to fit that white space. See the example below.


Page Four:
Panel one would work so much better if you'd have the transporter in the shot.

Panel three might also work if he's got part of his head in it. But that's just personal preference.

But panels 3 and 4, there's that 180degree jump cut again. Watch out for those.


Page Five:
After panel three, there's a bunch of confusion. Is the krull guy the nerd guy? Who's this other guy punching stuff? Whats going on? Alot of unanswered questions.

I hope this helps. You are doing a fine job with everything. Just make sure your panel to panel transitions are smoother and
keep the flashy panel designs to a minimum.