5 pages of submission

[Grendel]

colors/digital paints - underbloom
concept/story- ty gorton
pencils- me

page 1
http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/freehand/machined1colored.jpg


page 2

http://www.underbloom.com/staging/grendel/22-copy12.jpg

page 3
http://www.underbloom.com/staging/grendel/pg33-copy2g.jpg

[Grendel]

page 4

http://www.underbloom.com/staging/grendel/pge44-cop24a.jpg

page 5

http://www.underbloom.com/staging/grendel/55-copy9c.jpg

[misfitX]

wow...these are amazing man, the graphics here are stupifiyeing (sp?) and storytelling impecable. its hard to follow at first and i admit that i had no clue as to what was going on until the last page and i was plesently surprised. these are...i've run out of adequate adjectives...i'm sorry...i'll jes' drool now.......

[MightyMatt]

I had to look through these several times just to take it all in....very VERY solid storytelling. It actually took me a while to figure it out, but when I did it made more sense. Are there going to be captions/word balloons in this>?
That underbloom guy is a miracle worker....you two better keep on working together for the long run....

matt

[IndieRockPete]

This is really solid all around. You really hooked up with a fantastic colorist.

Way cool. I would buy it.

[Agent Fire]

I have to agree with Mighty... Your colorist works with your style very well!!! Nice images... I like it.

[Siftland]

Amazingly good. I'm very impressed. Underbloom is one hell of a painter. The rendering is so slick and the colors are refreshing.

The story seems cool too. I'm not sure if text is being added, but the silent treatment really works at this point. It lets the superior artwork really shine.

[The Cancerman]

OUTSTANDING!!! These are some of the best pages I've seen done in this style, peroid. Screw Ashley Wood, I'll take Grendel and Underbloom anyday.

[jal]

sizzlin:cool:

[brendon]

I was a follower of your work when you did the pencils for this page, and I'm even more impressed now...good job man!

[Grendel]

THanks guys, I am glad you like them. Will will have more soon.

[Traia]

As somebody who is almost completely ignorant in the execution of sequentials, I think these are abosolutely awesome! :D The robot looks fantastic!

But I don't like how the wheel-chair-through-the-window panels were done (page 4).

[Vendetta]

Grendel, I salute you. This was magnificent work.

thank you for letting me view it

[dpedicinijr]

OK, I am dying to know....Photoshop or Painter???????

[Grendel]

vendetta- thanks for taking the time to look and comment-

this was done in painter---photoshop doesnt have near the capabilites.

[spiraleye]

Very nice--I like the look of the stuff. The reflection of the guys face on page two looks a bit low. I like this way more than spot black inks that have been colored.

[caanan02]

...havn't the words.:eek: :)

[Grendel]

these are being letter now i cant wait to see how they look.

[jamiller98]

I know I'm a lone voice of dissent here, but I'm not sure how well this works.

Before I go any further, let me say that I think these pages are absolutely gorgeous. This is an art style that I have never been able to pull off. It's extremely well rendered and very expressive.

While I believe that it is a great art style, I'm not sure that it makes a very good storytelling style. The scratchiness is very cool, but it can make some of the images unclear (which is the kiss of death in a comic). The storytelling is also a bit confusing in spots.

On page one, it isn't very clear whether the explosion comes from an impact or from something bursting out of the ground. The bird implies that it's caused by something coming from the sky, but the viewer doesn't know for sure. The house also should have been included since the setting is not very clear and it looks like there is nothing for hundreds of miles (other than the bird) based on this page alone.

On page two, the close-up of the guy's eye comes out of nowhere and breaks the 180 degree rule. It's fantastically rendered, but by snapping the camera all the way around, it makes it hard to tell whether this eye belongs to our victim or someone else. A sequence (similar to the bottom of the next page) would have worked better and the initial reaction shot should have been from the side as he looks out the window. It still would have been dramatic, but it would have made things clearer to the viewer. The things coming out of the ground are a little confusing, too. More mid or long shots (and more panels) would have been clearer.

I like page three overall (especially from panel two down - panel two is nigh on perfect). I would have liked to have seen a long shot that would have better established the wheelchair. It also could have added to the victim's helplessness as he frantically tries to turn his chair and get away.

The closeup of the eye on page four reinforces the ongoing motif and adds a lot of depth and interest, but I'm not sure how effective it is since all I could think about was how well rendered the eye on page two was. Three panels would have worked better since it took a second viewing to realize that his eye is now a different color with weird . . . stuff happening to it. An initial panel with a plain eye, a panel with the eye closed, and a third panel with all the weirdness would have eliminated any confusion and had a better "flow." We also need a long shot of the house before we are zoomed in to the window.

Page five needs some clues as to it's environment. There's a rule that says if you can look from one panel to the next and say, "Meanwhile, 100 miles away," you have a problem. Without a setting you could definitely add that caption and it would make sense. It's also hard to tell if this was our victim or if this robot thingy killed him. I love the smoke effect.

In short, change up your camera angles and always show what's going on. Too much of the time, you only imply what is happening. While the 180 degree rule can be broken, it must first be mastered. Try sticking to it really closely for a while and I think you'll see a big improvement in your storytelling (same goes for the "Meanwhile, 100 miles away" rule).

I love your art and I can see that you're conscious of imagery and motif (though you missed the chance to play up the circular wheels on his chair), which puts you at least a million miles ahead of a lot of the pro's out there. Just watch that in your (usually successful) attempt to add interest to the piece with your rendering and special effects, you don't sacrifice storytelling doing it.

Good luck and I can't wait to see more. :)

[spectremanLIVE!]

To a degree, I have to agree with Jamiller98. I think the best work strikes a really good balance between REALLY good rendering and REALLY good story telling. Also, a level of dynamism within the storytelling (direction?) are three things that set apart the mediocre artists, the competent artists, the good renderes and the SUPERSTARS of the industry. Of course, I might be a bit caught up in the whole "importance of storytelling" thing as I am personally embroiled in a focused effort to improve my own visual storytelling right now but, either way, this project seems to have most of the elements within the combination of artists who are producing the work but, as good as your painter is, it's still up to you to infuse the dynamism and qualityo of storytelling that will bring out the absolute best of your team's skills and make the project shine its brightest. DO IT MAN! You and your team are GREAT!!! No wanna-be's here, you guys are THERE!!!

[Grendel]

I defnitely agree it oculd be a bit more clearer... especially on page 4...I was thiking a glow throw the window miught give an indication of a transformation going on. thanks for taking the time to comment.

[saTHOMASo]

dude this pages rock ... i really liked your pencils on this one ... and with underbloom magic these looks ****in amazing!