a page from issue 5

[whibbage]

Yes... workin' on Reman Myth #5. Trying to do a page a day like EJ suggested... it's hard >_<;;

anyway here's the latest:

http://www.felaxx.com/temp/RM-05-015.jpg

The older I get the more I realize I have to work on. These days I'm focussing mostly on my character developement/interaction and writing. I went back and re-read all my old issues... the story's just so... MEDIOCRE!!! sigh. :(

[Folgore]

The figures are fine, but I would say that the thing thats really distracting me here is the font - there is no consistency from panel to panel in terms of size, and it seems like even the font is changing. Its pretty distracting, to me at least.

Keep up the good work.

[whibbage]

Folgore - thanks for the critique, other people said something about this. I just... don't like the look of it when the font doesn't fit in the balloon a certain way >_< I dunno. I should be more consistant.

However, here's two more pages. The font didn't remain the same:

http://www.felaxx.com/temp/RM-05-016.jpg

http://www.felaxx.com/temp/RM-05-017.jpg

[Paul M.]

Nice story telling, as always.

[misfitX]

well crap... now ya got me interested in it...where i can buy it?

[Traia]

On the second page you posted in the first panel, I might have used a ruler for the speech bubble connecting thing (..heh). It really jumped out at me all squiggly like that.

Really good stuff whibbage :D Nice story and pretty drawings!

[whibbage]

Paul M. thank you >_<

misfitX - you can order RM here, it's serialized in I.C.-Ent's "Amerimanga" anthology (http://remanmyth.felaxx.com/order.htm)

Traia aw man I was hoping no one would notice! hehehe actually I didn't think about it. I have some sort of prejudice against my ruler, I don't like using it except for making the horizon line and panel borders. Why?? must... force... self... to use... ruler... dah...

ok here's the last page I post:

http://www.felaxx.com/temp/RM-05-018.jpg

6 pages to go before I finish this issue!!! ::phew:: maybe I CAN do this monthly thing after all! Well, I still gotta do a title page and omake... hnnggg.... back to the drawing board. Thanks for allt he feedback/encouragement~ ^_^

[dikiminster]

Overall i think your pages here are beautiful, but sometimes your figures are a little over simplified, as if your not convinced yourself that they are correct? Maybe this is down to the sparse inking style you have ? I could be wrong......its great stuff anyhow!:)
Looking forward to seeing more.

[Traia]

This page looks good too..but..I'd watch out for making that type too small. I have bad eyes and don't wear glasses or contacts though :D But that's still pretty small. i had to pause for some words.

[brendon]

I'm not reading the words just looking at the pages, and I have to say that I'm confused....I cant tell where they are, and what exactly is going on. Perhaps if I had seen the page before these it would all be clear, so you may not need to hear this. But if not, I would suggest coming back, stepping back, up, or out of the place they are, so that I can see what the heck is going on. By the time I get to the last page, I finally realize that the girl kneeling is way lower than the other two characters....like they are on a high stage of some sorts...

and I cant see all that cool architectural art going on the walls there...

more bg

[Alessandro]

great work. i like the character design, very fresh and clean :)
beautiful linework!

c
alessandro

[Siftland]

I think these pages are fantastic! The storytelling is clear and I like the characters. The dialogue is good too. The whole package is sort of beautiful in its simplicity, yet implying a whole fleshed out setting through the dialoge. I keep coming back and looking at these.

The designs are nice. Tabetha reminds a bit of Chihiro/Sen, if somewhat older. But I think you did well to win me over with the art, because I don't really don't go for anime styled art that much (well except Miyazaki). I think it's because it looks american influenced as well.

Unlike brendon, I believe you established the characters' relationships to each other very well. In the second panel the angle is looking up at the characters at the edge of a ledge. The third is looking down at Tabetha...Very well done, I guess brendon was wanting a shot with all the characters, but it's not necessary. The characters' physical relationships are clear as day to me.

Story-wise, is 'ciphrony' a word I'm supposed to be familar with? I assume it is explained earlier in the story. Same thing with 'geist.' Just a couple words that keep the sequence from standing on its own (which is fine).

By the way, this is Zach Taylor, we graduated together and I remember that you were in a few of my classes (The foremost in my memory was one semester in Stan's Fantasy class). Heh...I remembered your name when I went to your site.

Good job getting everything done too. You've done much more than I have since I graduated. I'm glad you're comitted to getting your original material out there, something I wish I had more drive to do.

[crumbum]

hi zach taylor, remember me? i'm jiaxing superstar. i was in your class too. and amy ganter? i think i remember you too! my god, we were all in the same classes weren't we? kurt vargo, stan martucci, hmmm, yep.

[whibbage]

wow thanks for all the feedback and critiques everyone~

in general, about the backgrounds and establishing the setting, I wanted the reader to feel a little cramped and claustrophobic to relate to the main character more. I don't want to really show where she is until she gets out herself, in fact in that third page I posted I prolly shouldn't have drawn what I did in that first panel >_<;;

Ciphrony and geist are explained earlier in the story. This is only a scene in the middle of the fifth issue so... sorry about the confusion >_<

siftland - Heey~! Another fellow SVA-er. I don't really remember your name, but if I saw your artwork or your face I prolly would >_<;; I'm really bad with names but really good with faces. Sorry... I suck. =(

How's life after SVA treating you? Do you still talk to jiaxing? We hangout now and then. But, I'm gonna go before this turns into a personal e-mail =p "welcome to penciljack" hehehe ;)

[Siftland]

Jr, Are you mocking me? I will smite thee if you are.

I'm alright: In Texas working at a t-shirt shop (it sucks), but I'm hopefully going to move on soon.

But anyway, I'll keep the personal stuff to a minimum so everyone can focus on your work.

[GroundHog]

nice.