5 pages of my book

[brendon]

I don't know if you guys have seen this stuff already from clicking my link, and I don't seem to recall posting any pages in here, but anyway I don't think I've gotten any memorable c&c on this book, so I hope you guys can give me some input.

This is five pages from my first comic book, I finished it last year, and hopefully, I'll get another one done before the end of this year. I do it all by myself, penciling, inking, etc. and I'm a college student, so it's coming along slow :)

I've learned so much from drawing this book, and the second one is looking a LOT better, in my opinion. Looking back on this one almost feels embarrassing. But I'm sure there are flaws I made in this book which I didn't notice myself.

The flaws I already know are: bad perspective, anatomy, shading, paneling, etc.

pretty much, you name it, I messed it up...

but if you guys tell me the details, it might help bring out something I didn't know...

please c&c:

http://www.brendonschumacker.com/zero/Images/Zero_page5.jpg


http://www.brendonschumacker.com/zero/Images/Zero_page6.jpg

is there a rule I can only do 2 at a time or something???
I thought it was no more than 4-6....

[brendon]

i'll try to add some here for your convenience...

http://www.brendonschumacker.com/zero/Images/Zero_page7.jpg

http://www.brendonschumacker.com/zero/Images/Zero_page8.jpg

http://www.brendonschumacker.com/zero/Images/Zero_page9.jpg

[benlw]

I think this is really really good. Your style is very individual - I especially like your rendering. Some of the anatomy is out - mainly the hands - but beyond some minor changes i wouldn't carry out any major re-working; this is your way of drawing and I think the fact that you have found your own style is more important than a limb here and there. I personally like it when the artist leaves certain glitches in their work, it makes you more aware of the fact that someone has drawn all this (too perfect and the drawings look souless, robotic) - for me it makes the comic experience more intimate if I can 'feel' the artist (does this sound too artsy and pretentious? - hopefully you get what I mean).

Pages 3 and 4 look a little blank - get a bit shading and background details in.

Btw, do you intend to add colour to this? I might just consider adding some gray tone.

[brendon]

I know what you mean, I look for that in a comic too. I think comics are drawn by human beings, and I like to see that element in the pages if you know what I mean. However, I often get caught up by the literature I read from the 'real world' comic book artists. For example if you wanted to work for Marvel or some other comic company you would have to be an expert with the mechanical aspects of drawing...so what to do...


Thanks for the crit, I didn't consider that those pages might be a little blank, I think you're right about that...

[benlw]

And that is exactly why I don't want to work for Marvel or other large companies. You have to draw the way they want you to draw, and follow their storylines. Sure you will be working for a big company but I personally can't imagine it being much fun. Comics are about creativity and imagination, not conformity or "rules". Sure you need to be able to draw, but really, as long as you have a story to tell and you can deliver it in a suitable and creative style, so what - do as you please.

[misfitX]

well its pretty good visual story-telling but it seems like you're trying to make more of a text driven thing and not so much artistic in the middle (your first two pages have oodles of rendering and shadow and whatnot and your last page is full of light but still a lot of detail but the middle two are voids almost) there and frankly it wasn't, there were no explanations just vague hints and silly talk. try to inform your reader or maybe make more of a mystery, don't just fill in the word ballons. the only problem i had with your art is that theres a bit of a unmitigated sense of urgency with everything and then small pauses...that doesn't sound right but i'm leaving it in because i think you might get it. the first page's first three panels are really weird. the guy jumps out of his car-dealie and yells at the "prof." and the "prof."spends two panels turning around...why?

otherwise i like your plot idea and your art just try working out the story kinks and it oughta be pretty good

[brendon]

benlw - I agree with you full-heartedly on that. I like the idea of every artist do what artists do....creating art the way they feel inspired to. I've always seen comic production as a sort of selling-out way for an artist to make a buck. I hope I never work for any company like that, but I have to admit, if I had the oppurtunity it would be a lot more fun to work at marvel than at some engineering firm or something like that :)

misfitx - thanks a lot for your comments, that's exactly the type of crit. I need. You made a lot of good points, and it's mostly stuff I didn't notice too....thanks!

anyone else who cares to add crit please do....

[misfitX]

you're quite welcome sir, thats what i came back for