5 page Marvel / D.C. sequentials

[Freddie]

I have been so busy with freelance for commissions, and smaller companies, that I had not sent out any submissions to larger comic book companies in over a year!

In additiona to this, all of the sequential stuff that I have been working on during that time has had a NDA attached to it, barring me from using the pages even for portfolio reviews.

So, I decided to use a Marvel and a DC character, and just have them slug it out.

This way I could send the portfoilo to both companies, and they could each see the way I draw their resective characters.

Here is the 5 page pencil submission: (Wonder Man vs Martian Manhunter)

These images may take a tad to load, but please be patient they are locally hosted (but for free :))

http://ud.ath.cx/Fred/Pencils/Wonderman_MartianManhunter/WM_vs_MH_pg1.jpg
Page: 1

[Freddie]

http://ud.ath.cx/Fred/Pencils/Wonderman_MartianManhunter/WM_vs_MH_pg2.jpg
Page: 2

http://ud.ath.cx/Fred/Pencils/Wonderman_MartianManhunter/WM_vs_MH_pg3.jpg
Page: 3

[Freddie]

http://ud.ath.cx/Fred/Pencils/Wonderman_MartianManhunter/WM_vs_MH_pg4.jpg
Page: 4

http://ud.ath.cx/Fred/Pencils/Wonderman_MartianManhunter/WM_vs_MH_pg5.jpg
Page: 5

I am ordering some custom envelopes right now, to try and make the outside of my portfoilio stand out, so it will still be a few weeks before I begin barraging Marvel, D.C and other larger comic companies.

-Freddie

[Ed]

first off, wow, these are fantastic! i only have a couple minor crits from the perspective of a casual viewer, not a pro like loston.

Page 1 Panel 4: to me this just wasnt a very interesting panel when compared to the others and it kinda stiks out like a sore thumb to me. it just seems less dynami then the rest of the peice.

Page 2 panels 1 & 2: we go from a glass window through bricks? mabey im missing somthing. it seems like he goes in one building and comes out a completely diffrent one.

Page 3 panels 6&7: what happened? one minute the locking hands the next theyre sevral feet away from each other, its a tad disorienting.


man i would read a book based on this art! very top noch work!

[caanan02]

This...man,...this is OFF THE RINGER_PHAT!!!

I like:

-Wonderman chaging up
-the BG detail
-him going throught the glass building
-him landing on the street and people looking like "what in the world...?"
-the explosions and debree all over the place
-The psyche blast to the head
...AMAZING!!!

only C&C... The hand on pg 5 pannel 1 looks kinda defromed. Just a little. Short of that...the rest is FIRE!!!

;cap; :eek: :eek: (i am in awe.)

[xadrian]

The only thing I'd add is there's a lot of flipping of camera angles that break the story. The biggest example is page 2, p1-p2 you have Wonder Man coming down from right to left and ending up on the ground facing the right, it just seems like a better angle might help the flow. Like on of WM closer up and MMH farther off in the air.

But christ, over all if comics were like this I'd buy them. You have to let us know if you get a book some time so I can plunk down some cash. Something about your pencils and the thick figures is very appealing.

[NickRocks]

the 3rd panel of page one RULES.

[TheFightingFoetus]

Definetly very cool stuff. As Xadrian put it to me, it looks like your drawing with incredible confidence.

Some anatomy issues, a few puffy figures, and some inconsistancy in drawing the wedge-plane of the hand.

But very nice action, and page layouts.

[Freddie]

Wow, thanks for the excellent c&c...

I appreciate the feedback alot.

this is just the sort of thing i was looking for, to help me keep in mind for the next time I do something like this (which i don't know when it will be, since I have so many other freelance things going on)

Thanks again, it is good to hear some other points of view on these pages, since I am trying to do what I think is cool, but really wan't sure if others would dig it.

I am about to send these pages off to Marvel and DC in a few weeks (after I get my custom envelopes, with my art on the outside of them, to try and get more attention :))

I'll let you all know how it goes.

Thanks again!

-Freddie

[penciljack]

These pages look really nice, but there are just a couple of things going on that bring them down, mostly dealing with the storytelling.

For example, in page one, panel three, where you've got the Martian Manhunter with his back to us ..... why? This is his big intro into the story, I'd argue that we ought to see him from the front somehow, even if he was just turning to acknowledge WonderMan or something. Too, his foot is clipped by the panel, and he's nearly facing directly off the page, which makes me feel like I'm only seeing half of a two-page spread, you know?

I think you could consolidate panels two and three on page 1, since they're showing us the same thing, which might give you more leeway to "feature" both characters more prominently.

Also, the transition from page 4 to page 5 is somewhat awkward, too. On the last panel on page 4, Martian Manhunter is dramatically blasting Wonder Man. On the first panel on page 5, he's just calmly standing there. At first I wondered whether I had accidentally read something out of sequence, etc. I'd suggest giving MM some indication of the previous action, even if you just alter his pose a bit.

These sorts of things detract from the overall high quality of the pages. The backgrounds, for the vast most part, are very well done, and I really like the lighting you're using on page four. The debris looks great.

Nice job on MM's hand on page 5. That looks great, him reaching out like that. Watch the hands in some other places, and especially the wrists - they tend to look stiff and unnatural (such as MM's wrists on page 1). A personal preference - I think the Kirby crackle effect you've got on Wonder Man is too small; it makes it seem like he's dirty more than made from energy.

Having said all that, this is a strong collection of pages. The linework is nice and clean and crisp, and the characters move well from panel to panel. I wish you luck in your submission!

[jeremy dale]

I agree with good ol' PJ and add WOW-- these pages are kinetic, powerful, and really catch your eye. Nice job overall!

Jeremy

[Ninjai]

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said, except reiterate that it seems you've added lots of smaller panels that are crammed together with different camera angles. Quality over quantity my friend. Pick your moments and your angles. Definitely pro work we have here.

[Dredgulus]

First off, I would like to say I am huge fan of Palladium. I became a huge fan of yours. I visit your often to see any new artwork. But, these pages are awe inspiring, and if Marvel/DC doesn't give you any work then, they are @$$#0!!&S. Hope to see YOU at the Pop Culture Con.

[Freddie]

Wow...

I have been really busy.

The time that it took to pencil this portfolio was at the cost of putting off 3-4 freelance projects, and now they are beating my @$$, trying to get them done in a reasonible amount of time!

I have been drawing all weekend for a palladum assignment that is rapidly approaching the due date, and an friggen exhausted.

I still have 3 more commissions and a few pages for blueline, before I am out of the hole.

Plus I have an inbox full of unanswered mail and freelance pricing requests.

In other words, I have been unable to reply to this thread, and all of your well thought out comments 'till just now.

I appreciate all of the feedback, I really do.

It is feedback, that I am going to take very seriously too.

Several folks have been mentioning to me "the Quesada 3x3x3x Rule." (http://www.marvel.com/epic/joeq.htm) ...

This is a guideline I had never seen before, or else I would have followed it to a "T".

You see, the only reel portfolio advise I have ever gotten has been from a video series from the late 80s early 90s "How to draw comics, by the comic greats" featuring the likes of Todd McFarlen (sportin' a mullet :)) Jim Lee, Rob Liefied (back when he was still in the good with those folks) and Whilce Portacio.

These videos were helpful, but as far as mail in submissions go the only advice McFarlen gives, is to "... send in 3-5 pages of your best stuff and that is all because to send any more would be overkill.!

He goes on to explain that "... the more you send the Editors the more material you give them to shoot wholes in you."

I just assumed that this was the standard.

Since I just heard about the 3x3x3x rule, I am now (although somewhat dismayed that I was unaware of it sooner) going to meet that as much as possible, it really sounds like a strong guideline for mailing and in persion portfolio reviews.

SOOO I am going to start looking at ideas for a 3 page team portfolio, and a 3 page slice of life one as well... and then start grinding away at that whenever I can find the time.

Thanks again for all of the kind words and c&c, I will post the other sections as I get them completed, although with my current worklist may be a while :(

-Freddie

[Jamal Igle]

Overall it's a very dynamic sequence .There are anatomy problems but those are negatable ,Although there are a few things I would have done differently.
Page 1:
Panel 3 is an ambitious shot , But there should be more emphasis on Wonderman's landing near J'onn. As it is he's too far away to be a percieved threat. plus given int the rest of the page he's had tme to transform and give J'onn enough time to move(Superspeed).But we'll excuse that.

Page 2:
Panel 1:WM needs a better sense of motion. You sacrificed a much more dynamic shot by building up the background.Reversing the shot so that J'onn was in the foreground recieving the punch would have worked better. You've already established on the previous page that they are surrounded by buildings and you continue that on this page as well.Refer to How to draw the Marvel way.. less is sometimes more

Panel 3: This reall bugs me because the background just drifts off shuddenly as it receeds ?What happened? Finish what you started in this panel. Don't give me a fully realized panel in panel one and crap out later because you don't feel like it. it serves no one.

page 3:
There are some storytelling problems on this page.Panel 2 and panel 5. panels 2 doesn't follow the" 2 camera shoot" used in cinematography. It would work better if you had J'onn moving to the left of the panel towards panel 3.
Panel 5, J'onn should be firing his eye beams toward the etablished line of direction set up by Wonderman throwing the SUV, instead of up. It just plays better.



Pages 4 and 5:
There are alot of problems anatomy wise but the storytelling for the most part if good.

I hope I don't sound harsh, I'm not used to giving reviews online. The only reason I decided to is that I see alot of promise and I hope I'm helping a little bit.

Good Luck:D

Jamal Igle
Cranky comic artist
Co-creator of Image Comics' Venture

[cabralsoth]

just wanted to poke in and say you got mad skillz, i hope they let ya take a crack;)

[Artsta]

d@mn... first time i've seen your art... d@mn...

[misfitX]

you have an amazing style man, but the sequencing is a little off, as said above, the differeing camera angles throw it off a bit (especially in page 3 panels 1 and 2) and there doesn't really seem to be a lot of continuity between pages (pages 4 and 5 why does they go from face to face to ten feet away with eye blasts then to WM punching MM? doesn't make sense) plus i've never seen a car explode that huge before. but if you get rid of those little things i think you could certainly be a huge comic rockstar

[Alessandro]

hello

good work freddi!
ur manhunter style is very nice ;pencil;

cya
alessandro

[jamiller98]

I want to second everything PJ said and add that there are a ton of books out there that can teach you more about making comics than anything that the group of guys from that particular video (and yes, I have seen it) could teach you even if they moved in with you for six months.

Check out Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics and Reinvinting Comics. Also see Will Eisner's books (whether they are his books about making comics or just his regular comics work, he is our medium's first true genius) and the classic How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way by Stan Lee and John Buscema. I'm sure there are several lists of essential books about making comics, so I'll stop with these suggestions.

Your rendering is fantastic and there are very few flaws that can be pointed out (there are a few panels with odd hands and wrists, but that's about it), but your storytelling needs some work. Go get a stack of these books out of the library and read them between paying gigs. If you're anything like me, you'd rather wait until you can do some great comics than jump in too soon and be thought of as "that guy they let draw [insert title here] while [insert tempermental/ sssssssllllllllllllooooooooowwwwwwww artist here] was taking a vacation." I really think that you have the potential to really make a mark out there with some better storytelling chops.

Good luck and I hope we see more from you.

[Scott Johnson]

Hi Freddie,

These look great! I have to say that your early illustration work was a bit flat, but you've really improved in that area. These pages have great depth to them. You've really come a long way in spotting your blacks.

Keep it up! You'll make those Marvel/DC editors notice eventually.

Scott Johnson

[Ian Miller]

Holy dogpoop, this is amazing!!!!! The pencils are extremely clear and detailed! I like the care you put into the backgrounds. I can't say anything's wrong with these pages! Keep up the kickass work!

By the way, what does "Klaatu Barrata Nikto" mean? It seems kinda familar...

[Josie70]

These pages are OFF THE CHAIN!!! Great work. Very pro.

J70

[ghostcat]

"Klaatu Barrata Nikto" is the phrase used to stop the big android in the classic movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still" Try this one "Baa weep gra-na weep ninny baun"

[Justice41]

I won't get into your criticising your art cause I like it but I see too many things that could have been done differently.
I'll give you one piece of advice. Don't send Marvel or DC sample pages with the other companies characters in them. I did that and Got a nice letter telling me not to do that from not only Marvel But DC and Darkhorse and Image. They only want to see their characters living in their characters worlds. Another piece of advice. Try to not use the same pose too many times.

[psychoheat]

Amazing work i´m stuned it´s off the scale

But!!!!, in one of the pages they have their hands together, and next they ara apart, I´m guessing that the blast push one of them away, if this is the case then you should do some dust cloud to show this, but still it would be one panel short to give continuity