Ninja turtle page

[artronin9]

Here's a TMNT page I knocked out this afternoon.

http://www.imagemagician.org/images/artronin9/turtles.jpg

[jarrod_101]

This first panel seems a little wierd to me... the turtles just seem too close together and a little stiff.... especially Don

Other than that I really dig the look of it.... the second panel with the close up of Leo is PERFECT!

Awesome work!

[vinnlander1313]

i agree about the first panel. i also agrre about the second panel. i would flip panel 3. see, the guy saying bring it on is doin so with his right hand, then when he gets stabbed, a knife falls from his right hand. it is a small thing but it can be confusing. people will subconciously ask "where did that knife come from? is that the finger gesture guy?" also it seems a bit odd because leo is in the rear in the first panel, but yet he is the first to attack. if he is not the first to attack, and the panel of him stabbimg the foot soldier is in mid battle, then we missed out on the start of the fight. lastly, i would say that you didnt leave enough room for dialogue bubbles. may not need any but you never know. panels 4 and 5 are also well composed, provided no dialogue is needed. great job. ;cap;

[EddieChingLives]

Just work on your stiffness. Keep it loose. Panel one, the turtles almost look bored. Most fighting stances, the characters legs are kind of bent a bit, so they can react more. The turtles are standing still. Let's start from left to right. Donatello would look better if his staff was raised a bit, ready to hit a dude on his noggin. Michaelangelo left leg looks whacked. Work on figure balance. Leo in the background kicks ass. No problems with his pose. Splinter looks pretty badass too. But Raph looks like he forgot his underpants and is bashful. His sai's aren't even in blocking position. He's suppose to be ready to take on some guys, and he isn't even standing guard.

It's kind of strange seeing Leonardo stab a guy in the second to last panel. I've never seen a turtle seriously wound a human foot soldier before. Kind of creepy.

And that last panel, is Raph rubbing his ass on a guy? This looks wrong in so many ways.
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Let's look at if from your panel to panel transitions...

You go from a group shot with the foot soldiers in the foreground... I like the composition, just work on the poses.

Then you zoom into a close-up. Nice transition.

Next, you swap the camera 180degrees, which is kind of a jump. His arm looks stiff.

Zoom the camera back 180degrees and the foot soldier that said "bring it on" is a friggin shishcabob. Raph's sai is in the foreground.

Next, you pull out to reveal Raph bumping and grinding with a foot soldier. This panel is also kind of a jump cut. Perhaps if you showed a turtle fighting a foot soldier in the backround might help the eye transition to the next shot a bit better. Adding part of the background you drew in the panel before this might help.
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Overall, work on loosening the stiffness. Great storytelling. Nice plot. Great detail and professional line quality. The scan is so beautifully done. I wish I could scan my work and make it look as good of quality as you got. Very good line-work. Just work on loosening the figures.

And I was just kidding about the Raph grinding thing. I could tell he hit the soldier with his back. But it still looks odd.

[Temperance]

you have nice clear lines that are easy to see. Overall its a nice piece and the story flows well. You obviously know your anatomy, but now you must learn how the body moves. Just because you know your muscles and how they're supposed to look, doesn't mean you can draw a body a fluidly as it would look in real life. Being able to show proper movement will come with time and practice. Study art books, examine work of artists like Frank Frazetta, who always creates a great sense of movement in all his works, and last, watch the world around you. Watch people around you, watch how they move. Any time you have trouble with a position, take a look in a mirror, see how your muscles move and change and see how your limbs shift a move as you do.
And above all else keep practicing!

[Ian Miller]

Artronin,
I really dig your TMNT page. It looks extremely realistic, and the way the characters were drawn is superb. I'd like to see how this looks inked and maybe even colored. However, the page lacks shading, so the characters look somewhat flat. Other than that, it's rad! Cowabunga!