View Full Version : 4 new pages of sequences of mexicatl
06-12-2003, 07:41 PM
Hey ive been doing this pages tell me if you like it, i really like the page 16 its my favorite, any comments or critcs are welcome
http://www.deviantart.com/view/2010441 page 12
http://www.deviantart.com/view/2035493 page 13
http://www.deviantart.com/view/2059748 page 14
http://www.deviantart.com/view/2128852 page 15
http://www.deviantart.com/view/2146780 page 16
06-12-2003, 10:49 PM
Due to crappy dial up internet service, I can only crit page twelve.
But it was worth the wait. Really pro-quality. The only thing I can pick apart is that maybe the second to last panel, it might work better as a two shot, to setup the next panel. Just adding a reverse head shot of Mr. Mustache Cowboy hat looking and Mr. Mysterious would help so much in the transition.
Just something to think about in your future work. As for line-work and panel layouts, very nice.
Reminds me of the art on Battle Pope. And that's a very good thing.
Woo hoo. I got page thirteen. Everything looks great. Panel four, it takes a while for that guy to leave. Must be a long hallway. Your art looks great.
06-13-2003, 12:44 PM
Looks really REALLY good. Nice work.
06-13-2003, 01:15 PM
really nice man. pro material. i wish i had half the talent u have.
06-13-2003, 10:28 PM
First off: It took me a while to get over HOW FREAKING AMAZING your art is. Every drawing is deeply sweet to look at, and I really love the style. How big are your drawing sheets? You cram an amazing amount of detail into everything (particularly loved the stitchings on the clothes of the girl with the weird hat).
Ok. That said, after looking intently at the drawings, I tried to get a feeling for the story, and I do have a few problems with the storytelling in your pages. Here's a rundown:
Great first shot. It's kind of a stablishing shot, and looks magnificent. You abandon the characters through the rest of the pages, but I get the idea that weird hat girl is introducing the newcomers to this place. The second frame also works fine, but I don't think the transition between that and the third frame works very well. I assume these guards are protecting the entrance to the place where the guy with the moustache is with the others, but I'd like to be able to see something to link these two scenes. Maybe part of the entrance showing the feet of one of the guards? Also, you have a slight problem with the perspective of the rocks that compose the floor. It makes the scene look somewhat like it's seen through a fish-eye lens. This is also where the biggest problem I see begins: the positioning of the four councilmen/elder guys.
Here's what I mean: The two short guys were to the left of the young one (boss?) and under some stairsteps. They have switched positions and are now to his right and behind him. Two frames down, the really old guy is there instead. One more frame, and he quickly repositions himself between the boss and the councilmen (who are now grouped). The next close up looks very nice, but they have once again switched sides. The last frame is beautifully composed, but lacks the really old man with the feathers (I want to see him again. He looks important). Very nice flowing motion here, by the way.
In the second frame, I'd like to see the old guy catching up to the young one, rather than them walking side to side already. In Frame 4 the shadow should cover a part of the old man's stick.
I think this transition is odd. Is this the same room they entered in the previous page? That one had a more "personal quarters" feel, and this one seems official looking and has lots of people. More people in the previous frame would help to establish it, in case it's the same room. The young guy has also undressed and is dressing up again. What happened? Is this another day? I'd also like a wider shot of this new robe he puts on. I case this is a different day, it would help to have the old guy dressed differently and add a more concluding shot in the previous page.
Ok. We go back to weird hat girl, who is apparently telling the story? New characters and beautiful backgrounds, but I'd definitely flip frames 3 and 4 in order to keep the flow going to the right. That way, they'd go well with the last frame.
Again, this is beautiful work with amazing detail and a great style. I think working on these points may improve it story telling wise. Could you tell us more about what this is for?
06-15-2003, 11:54 AM
woaah dude.. awesome.. say, do you need an inker for yer story? i'd love to ink some of yer stuff sometime.. and i probable will soon ;bat;
06-16-2003, 12:15 PM
Y sobrecafeinado gracias por las criticas, tienes razon en los errores, otros son por que el escritor asi los queria, con la historia en texto en los dialogos les vas a entender mas, parece ser que image esta interesado en el proyecto, pero queremos ver si dark horse se interesa en el, con la nueva propuesta que estan haciendo, despues te digo mas sergio, and wishmaster we will be in contact
06-16-2003, 02:40 PM
Felicidades Sevilla! Me parece genial lo de las editoriales. Te lo mereces. Esa calidad de arte no es común. Mantenme informado, para buscar el libro cuando se publique. Luego te escribo un mail.
06-16-2003, 03:14 PM
I like your style!!;cap;
06-17-2003, 01:29 PM
si quieres ver los dibujos coloreados chea aqui, creo que voy a volver a hacer algunas paginas, son dibujos muy viejos
and thanxs cannaan
06-19-2003, 12:47 AM
Elsevilla, I like your work. It is some really ggod work. I wish i had the patience to start and finsh story telling art, but I don't so I'll jus t enjoy your instead. This way I won't waste paper. Great job!
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