Proteus Series

[Grendel]

page 1

http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/freehand/proto1.jpg

page 2

http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/freehand/proto2.jpg


page 3
http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/freehand/proteus_page_3.jpg


THe font is temporary

[caanan02]

pg 3 is lovely! Keep it up! I think your inspiring me to do a Proteus pin-up.
The story is building, and it's PHAT!!

[cabang]

Agh! Kick ass! Proteus is one of my favourite villains and this style of art just makes him even more awesome. Nice stuff.

[Grendel]

page 4
http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/freehand/Prto4.jpg

[penciljack]

Generally, I'm a fan of cleaner artwork, Grendel, so I have to admit it took me a while to warm up to your style (I'm not criticizing you in that regard, mind you, just trying to give a bit of context).

That said, having been able to just look at these pages a few times and take in what you're doing, I've come to appreciate the mood and the atmosphere you're able to impart. It feels really nice and creepy, and that's cool.

For all that, though, I must confess I'm not able to divine much in the way of storytelling from these pages.

I'd like to see a little more emphasis on environment, for one thing. You've got this really atmospheric style, and I think that would be a good avenue for you to play it up by giving us lots of background data. As I see these pages, though, there are only really two panels that give us any background information.

Your style would be great for grand, fully-developed cemetary scene. The closest we really get, though, is the first panel on page three.

So, I'd encourage you to go full out and spend some more time on the backgrounds. I'd love to see a spooky tree somewhere, rendered in this style. And maybe a couple of mausoleums, and a few more ornate statuaries and gravestones.

Also, I'd advocate the use of fewer closeups. I don't mean to be harsh, but if it weren't for the dialogue, I'm not sure I'd have any idea what was going on because of the over-reliance on the extreme and medium closeups. Maybe consider varying the camera angles here and there, and mixing in a few more medium and long shots to tell your story. Long shots would allow you to incorporate your atmospheric style into ... um, the atmosphere ;) And that would be cool.

[Paul M.]

I assume this is done with a tablet. I love the messyness of the lines. What is this for?

[Grendel]

pencil ill defnitely go in and detail th backgrounds. The problem with proteus is not many know about his past or powers. This is for an epic submission.

[Grendel]

Cover
http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/comics/PROTOCOVO.jpg


Page 1


http://igrendel.com/images/sequentials/pROTEUS-PAGE-1.jpg


PAge 2

http://igrendel.com/images/sequentials/proteus-page-2.jpg

[Grendel]

Page 3

http://igrendel.com/images/sequentials/proteuspage3.jpg

Page 4

http://igrendel.com/images/sequentials/pROTEUS-PAGE-4.jpg

[Temperance]

Awesome, I love it. Very bold lines. I'm glad it's black and white, it wouldn't have the same impact in color.

[penciljack]

Hey, Grendel - I merged your two Proteus Topics. Feel free to add updates in the Topics themselves instead of posting new Topics.

[Bruce Lee]

I agree with what Terry has said. You should pull the camera back more. I like what you're doing artistically, but too many close-ups can actually take away from the storytelling.

The only background you have is the cemetery, and unfortunately that is pretty weak--especially in panel one, of page two. It's really odd to see all the headstones so uniformly layed out like that, and even odder to see the stones all the same shape and size. That seems very unnatural to me, someone who has unfortunately seen too many cemeteries in his lifetime. :( The locale could surely benefit from more tomstone variety, and a few bits of cemetery statuary. This would add a lot to the mood and tone you want to set.

Another thing I'll mention is that with the black borders, panel two and three on the second page seem to blend together. Black borders can be very problematic, and even the great Mike Mignola has gone back to using regular white borders for just this sort of reason. Remember, clarity should always be your primary objective. If the readers get confused, you've failed to get your message across.

I'm thinking these pages would work better in color than in black and white. Some of the panels are rather ambiguous, and color would help them out ( Especially panels like panel three on the first page).

Interesting stuff. Just remember that the reader has to be able to follow it though. :cool:

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[spiraleye]

I'd also like to mention that the the words on page one sometimes get confusing as to which panel they go to. I would recommend moving them to within the panels.

[Grendel]

wow thanks alot for the input guys, i sent all this stuff off already...i doubt it will get accepted but it was a learning experience. thanks for taking the time to comment, and soory PJ about the threads.

[penciljack]

No worries. It was an easy fix. Good luck with your submission!

[Travis]

Wow...this is pretty amazing. I am just dissapointed it ended so soon.

[Caimano]

Grendel, I really like what you're doing with your style, but I agree with Loston and according to me you're able to keep your cool style full of energy and "warm" impact adding the right level of details just to improve the understanding.

Sorry to bother you again with other guy art sample but I think it's easier to explain myself doing this.

Maybe you already know Daniel Zezelj , however I think the two of you have something in common about the art approach and he's a sample of personal style and great communication:


http://www.jubilaeum.horror.it/jubilaeum.jpg

http://www.ljudmila.org/stripcore/burek2/zezelj1.gif

http://www.luccacomics.com/02/mostre/foto/zezelj_majakovski.jpg

[Caimano]

Daniel again:

http://www.nxtc.it/dzezelj/pg_cm_sil2.htm

[StrayTanGenT]

Grendel, may I make a suggestion? Switch page 2 and 1. Page 2 introduces the BG and stuff so you don't have to worry about pulling back in page 1 and the two don't really follow each other sequentially too much so you can get away with rearranging the pages without having to remove or change anything in the pages themselves.

Anyone else agree? Disagree?

[Grendel]

well pg 1 is proteus reforming fromspacial energy into something again, plus i sent these off already..:(

Caimano- thanks for the artists ! as i said in anothe r thread i love it man.. seeing other work in this contrast venue helps me to understand articualtion wit h white and black great STUFF!