View Full Version : this city is a jail cell pt. 1 and 2 c&c please
06-03-2003, 07:12 PM
06-04-2003, 09:07 AM
first up, WELCOME Natan!!!!!!!!!! to thewritersdesk (and to the PJ forums as well).
always glad to see new faces here, I will take a peek at ur stuff over the next couple of days.
Looking fwd to seeing more of you over this way, natan :)
06-04-2003, 01:05 PM
06-05-2003, 11:06 AM
ok.. here goes...
A question first: Now u mentioned the caption in the very beginning and u hv the narrator's voice as well.
How are you presenting the narrator's voice? Wld it be better to make the caption the "title" or "headline" and the narrator speaks as "captions"?
Overall, I like it. Very interesting premise. Made for a good read.
Now for the crits (I know it sounds ominous lol).
One of the gripes I hv is that there seems to be a lot for an artist to do in the panel descriptions. I did that a lot too until folks pointed it out to me. Just something I notice now too LOL
but generally works real well :)
looking fwd to seeing more!
06-05-2003, 01:34 PM
06-07-2003, 07:03 AM
sounds real cool, natan :) good luck wt that!
looking fwd to seeing more stuff :)
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