BOLT COMICS (http://home.attbi.com/~rlarrison1/wsb/html/view.cgi-photos.html-.html)
06-01-2003, 09:31 AM
I really like your inking. The space scenes with all the stars and everything are great. Fabulous job on the explosions. And the story is nicely layed out.
But there are a few things that stick out.
Panels 2 and 3 look like one long panel. It could be the word balloon in panel 3 breaking the border.
Panels 1 and 2. Cool explosion in panel 2, but who blew up Neal? I think there should have been a panel showing the enemy fire or something to make that a little bit clearer. From the panel position, it almost looks like Neal's buddy fired at him.
Panel 3, I don't think this panel shows enough of the anger.
Panel 4, once again, I can't tell who shot who. But still, it is a cool looking explosion.
Panel 5, you got a flow problem with your word balloons. Balloons read Top or Left to Bottom or Right. But when the guy on the left speaks, his balloons flow to the left. It should flow easier to the next panel.
Panels 1 and 2, I don't think your background shading is working with the whole hatching, blotting thing. You might want to work on that a bit more.
Panel 3, I think you should have left his hand in the frame, and maybe not so much of a dramatic tilt.
Pael 4, nice. Great use of a borderless frame.
You shouldn't change your art, since you're allready done with inks, so just think about this stuff for the next pages you do.
Nice job. Pretty good stuff. Just a litte small speed bumps that slow down the flow from panel to panel. I like it. Good luck with the book.
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