View Full Version : MYSTERY WOODS and CASTLE
05-27-2003, 07:05 AM
Here are the first two pages of a new project I started.
I also included some sketchwork for page three...
PAGE URL : http://www.comicsportfolio.com/portfolio/display.asp?ArtworkID=13379
PAGE URL : http://www.comicsportfolio.com/portfolio/display.asp?ArtworkID=13216
PAGE URL : http://www.comicsportfolio.com/portfolio/display.asp?ArtworkID=13381
Let me know what you think....
05-27-2003, 09:36 PM
Wow, that's really different from a lot of what I've seen lately. The only thing I would say is, some of your heads are pretty good, but the one on page 2 for example has too much cranium. The one's on page uno, aren't bad, but the guy seems to morph a bit from panel to panel.
Storytelling's pretty nice, and I love the layouts so far for page 3.
I might have had the camera go from the medium shot in page 1 panel 1, move in closer and closer each panel, up to the last one on the page. The last panel I might have pulled in for a tighter, closer shot. Maybe where you see just the hand cropping part of the panel, and his face with that look of awe.
Like the style, and hope to see more from you. Best of luck!
05-28-2003, 06:40 AM
Hey Double F,
Thank you so much for your comments.....It's great that you took the time and really gave some good constructive crits.....I see what you are saying....pull in closer and closer...kinda build the tension....pretty cool...plus the guy is the basically the same size in pnls 2-5 on page one...it would help to vary his size a bit....
05-28-2003, 07:06 AM
hey cwmax ... very good work here, im gonna run through some quick crits though .... now im assuming that these are running in chronological order right? lets see i think that because the camera angles arent varied too much on the first page if you left out the 2nd and 3rd panels it would still have the same affect. so sometimes less is more .... the second page you dont show him looking towards the temple so its hard for you to really know if that is what he is shocked by seeing in the last panel of the first page .... for all we know he is still looking at the object and that just happens to be a really cool looking background . i think the layout for page 3 looks great cant eait to see more.:D
05-28-2003, 10:00 AM
No problem man, I just wish I could always give good crits. How Loston finds the time to get all crazy-in-depth is beyond my fragile mind.
05-28-2003, 07:01 PM
Well as I said before it looks like he's scared and is running from something and just stops abruptly. And I've also commented on the picture with the landscape before saying that his pose should be looking towards the pagodas as it brings more dynamic effect and that fact that this new find if in fact it is one is more vast and overwhelming.
Anyhow back to the first page with him looking scared and abruptly stopping. With the land he is on in the second picture it looks like he's on a flat trail leading to this place meaning he could see it for miles. What I think you should have did was maybe show before hand that he's going up a bit more of a steep hill and see's the tip of something or some sort of something to signify a great find, then you shoot to him running up this hill to the next page to a new vast city with his back to the camera looking on while you join in his amazement.
If that makes any sense. :) Great job, I'm loving your stuff.
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