View Full Version : Marvel Sample Page 7
05-26-2003, 03:09 PM
Last page. I promise.
05-27-2003, 12:49 PM
one thing that bugs me about your pages is characters seem to appear and dissappear at will. Page 5, you have the whole cast of the FF, page 6, it looks like the Invisible woman and the human torch just dissapeared. Now in page 7, Mr. Fantastic is missing till the last panel where he seems to just pop up out of nowhere. what the heck?
All and all, page 7 is pretty good, a few anatomical mistakes which you can fix and polish over time, but the panels are much more dynamic than your last few.
Besides the whole popping out of nowhere thing, panel 5 had me a bit confused. I haven't seen Mr. Fantasic since page 6, but when we last did, he was wrapped around a telephone pole. Now he's completely unstretched, nowhere near a telephone pole as I can see, and the Invisible woman is trying to help him up. Uhhh... what? You should have her trying to unwrap him from the pole, or helping him stand after he unwraps himself. So, the telephone pole should be in the panel somewhere. My second problem is; in panel 2, sue gets blasted. We don't see her fall, but she looks like that blast hurt. It was a little confusing seeing her helping up Richards... I figure it would have been the other way round... Richards helping up sue. I guess that blast didn't hurt as much as it let on. Maybe a panel of her sitting up after the blast, looking pissed off, would make me feel that she really didn't get hurt as basly as I assumed.
good work, keep it up
05-27-2003, 01:13 PM
Originally posted by Temperance
Now in page 7, Mr. Fantastic is missing till the last panel where he seems to just pop up out of nowhere. what the heck?
...panel 5 had me a bit confused. I haven't seen Mr. Fantasic since page 6, but when we last did, he was wrapped around a telephone pole. Now he's completely unstretched, nowhere near a telephone pole as I can see, and the Invisible woman is trying to help him up. Uhhh... what?
That's not Mr. Fantastic, Temperance. That's Johnny after being "whirlwinded" by the mysterious stranger in panel 4. Confusing, yes, but you can totally tell that it is NOT Mr. Fantastic in panel 5. Confusing because Mr. Fantastic did in fact disappear from the entire fifth page. Confusing, yes, that Sue and Johnny were completely absent from page 4.
The amusing part of this page, and I don't mean to sound childish, but it's funny as hell watching the Human Torch do that little jog across the first panel, with the flames following behind. I laughed my ass off when I saw that. You should definitely change that, fusciart, by either changing his pose, or getting rid of the trailing flame.
I think, at this point, fusciart realizes these pages need major reworks in terms of storytelling. I wish I could help more. I feel I am doing fusciart a disservice by not going in depth on these pages.
Where's Loston when you need him?
05-27-2003, 09:08 PM
It's kind of hard to follow the action. The drawing is well-done, but the sequence is muddled.
05-27-2003, 11:44 PM
ohhhhhh! it's Johnny! AH! that makes so much more sense. ^_^ hah! my bad
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