View Full Version : Marvel Sample Page 1
05-15-2003, 06:43 PM
Putting together some sample pages for Heroes Con.
05-15-2003, 10:01 PM
I like the choice of scene with all those girders... really cool. you love your ruler more than I do :P
Here are some observations and suggestions:
Hulk is in a great position here with the exception of his left hand. Not that it isn;t drawn correctly, its just the angle is wrong, it should tilt down and away from the camera... perhaps moving the whole arm, so the elbow jutts out would correct this. I just know holding my arm like that would be really uncomfortable.
Good action and nice shading. But I'd add a few more buckles and cracks in the metal girder where it has been bent.
cool dynamic shot, but the Thing must have popped his shoulder out of joint, cause that arm is far too distanced from his body. Maybe if you had the arm pointing downward it would solve the problem.
hah ! I love that panel! awesome!
Panel 5 &6:
Its hard to follow whats going on here. I'm assuming Thing fell into a tub of cement, and that's him on panel five all gooey... but who they heck is that guy in panel 6? where he heck did he come from? I can assume it's meant to a a surprize, but you'd think Hulk wouldn't be able to duck if he didn't know that guy was there.... or did he get hit by it? If so, add some indication of impact with surprize or motion lines where the ball hit.
My main beef with these two panels is that ball. I see you were trying for a clever breakthrough panel, but you really shouldn't have the characters in panel 5 facing that direction. It took me awhile to realise the ball was from panel 6. Since Thing and Hulk are bothing looking to the right, it looks like they are looking at the ball. Adding some action lines to show the movement of the ball might help attach it to panel 6 and lessen confusion.
All and all it is nice. Nice use of shadow and light, and I really like your backgrounds. Good luck at the con
05-16-2003, 01:51 AM
My first problem with this is that this can not be Page One. There is no set-up or explanation for this fight between The Thing and The Hulk, so I'm assuming you have previous pages for this either finished or in the planning stages.
(Aside: Temperance, you silly Canadian, that's Captain America in panel six)
Anyway, before I crit the action, I want to point out that your versions of both Hulk and Thing are a little thin. They should both be bulkier. And I don't even want to go into how illogical it would be for these two behemoths to be sky high, running around on steel girders. Sheesh.
Some good words: your linework is very clean and you don't skimp on detail. There are some minor anatomy issues, but they aren't glaring. Overall, your artwork is very good.
Now onto the action:
This fight could have been a two-pager. I say that because there are three instances where it appears some panels are missing. The first comes where both Thing and Hulk fall in panel three; all of a sudden in panel four, Hulk is hanging from a girder. Assumption: Hulk caught a girder on the way down(and very gingerly, I assume, since as strong as he is, trying to catch a girder and hang on probably wouldn't work for The Hulk). You should have shown how Hulk "saved" himself. It could have really been an interesting sequence. Second one is the next panel, where Hulk is all of a sudden on the ground ready to face off with The Thing. Did he drop down? Climb down? Show us. And then panel six and the out-of-thin-air appearance of Captain America AND Hulk ducking a wrecking ball. There's just so much information missing from this entire sequence that it is totally confusing.
Temperance mentioned the wrecking ball that breaks the panel. It looks so wrong, just smack dab in the middle of the two panels like that.
This definitely needs to go back to the drawing board. You need to show us these sequences as they happen and not assume that we will understand what's going on. I say start with a real page one, that sets up the story and tells us how they got to this point.
Make Hulk and Thing a LOT thicker. They look like they are both on diets here.
I don't know how harsh this comes off, but if you are planning to display this page to an editor, then it needs major work.
05-16-2003, 10:00 AM
Too many medium shots in a row. A nice wide building shot would help, showing the height of the building and the size of the figures. The camera allways seems to be about 5 feet away from the viewer. A really wide or really tight shot inserted between the medium shots would help break the action down instead of all these jump cuts after jump cuts. And it's easier on the eye. Too many medium shots in a row an it becomes a headache to look at.
05-16-2003, 12:37 PM
Ha! so it IS Captain America. Must be because the sheild is pointing the wrong way :P
Sorry us Canadians just don't have the exposure to the US as we should... we're only your northern neighbours, eh.
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