Semi finished sketch for Matrix Draw off -- Crits wanted!?

[Beastie]

Hi all

I'm just tidying this up but if theres anything massively wrong that you can see - please point it out.

http://www.beastieartwork.co.uk/jpgs/matrixarena.jpg

[saTHOMASo]

wow that shading on Neo's shirt rocks ... i tried but i can´t really find anything to crit :)

[Beastie]

Originally posted by saTHOMASo
wow that shading on Neo's shirt rocks ... i tried but i can´t really find anything to crit :)

Thanks saTHOMASo, its ME rather than NEO though (please note the slight double chin). :D

[Ra Havok]

Originally posted by Beastie
(please note the slight double chin).


Ahahaha! :D

Damn, Beastie!!! This is one helluva drawing.

My main and only crit would be : A lack of clarity. The (bullet-dodging) figures are too hard to distinguish.
Are you dodging? How many agents in the back are dodging? And stuff.
Mhh, maybe also make the BG more clear.


But damn; now I TOTALLY have to improve my drawing...

[Juan]

Even at that angle, your left hand looks a wee bit small.

[GraphicGeek]

man, that rocks!

the hand issue aside, this is a very good pic. Nic ecomposition and cool style.

Is the matrix draw off here on PJ or a different forum?

is this gonna be colored?

-freddy

[saTHOMASo]

Originally posted by Beastie
(please note the slight double chin). :D


hehe :p :D

[astrocity20]

I really don't find the bullet dodging technique in your drawing working. I can tell what he's doing and all I just don't like the way its done. Looks to much like a body double of him rather than a shadow of him passing through.

[Musashi]

I like the idea and the rednering but what's really bugging me is the perspective. All the characters seem to be floating in space.
Where's the eyeline?

[Beastie]

Thanks for all the feedback!

Some answers (and some more questions.....)

Well, the central figure is me and the figure to the left is also me -- before I dodged the bullet.
My intention is to use a smudge and erase technique (like Grendel uses a lot) to show the movement between the two.

As far as positioning goes, I am on the subway platform and the agent smiths are coming down a stairway towards me - thats why they appear to be 'floating'. I might alter the wall behind them to somehow spell out its a stairway - because I realise its not that evident at the moment.

Havok, the two agents at the back are coming towards me. I am shooting the one on the left and the other is reacting by ducking aside.
They're both firing at me. I've dodged the one on the left and the one on the right has just plain missed - due to the fact that he was ducking away from my shot.
THE Agent Smith isn't firing, but he's got me plainly in his sights and the gun barrel in the foreground is also going to shoot at any second.

I've made the agents bullets travel through bullet time - but was unsure as to whether I should make my bullet trails look the same -- or leave them unaltered by the bullet-time effect. What do you think???

[InkDrop]

Awesome beastie. Im not too convinced on the bullet dodging. It just looks like you have a twin for back up. But I really can feel the action in the piece. Good work.

PEACE,
Drop