fly page six!!!

[FlepDjec]

check it out, page six is here to stay, or be changed, its u to you!
:D. ill post up the complete story tomorrow. no colors here, sorry.

page 6

http://www.geocities.com/flepdjec/finished06.txt

[XTRVGNZ]

for the lazy people:
here's'the previous 2 pages

http://www.penciljack.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30060

work harder, dammid! you've been fooling around with this story for ages!
Smooth lines by the way, nice n'easy :)

[RichieD]

Originally posted by XTRVGNZ

work harder, dammid! you've been fooling around with this story for ages!


That's what I keep telling him ;) But I like his art enough to wait, so I let him take his time.


P. S. There's a pope emoticon?;bp;

[XTRVGNZ]

Originally posted by RichieD
P. S. There's a pope emoticon?;bp;

that's BATTLEpope for you, son ;dvl;

[RichieD]

Well that makes a lot more sense then. Thanks.

Meanwhile, let's get some comments on this bad boy.

[Cuddly]

Hi FlepDjec,

nice work as usual. I like seeing this story progress. My only crit would be to change the last panel. The 180 degree flip is a bit jarring. Also, Panel 3 and Panel 4 have a nice zooming in effect where we seem to be building up to a blow-up from our young accountant friend. But then it sort of fizzles when you zoom out in the last panel. The flipping of the characters (accountant was on the left, now is on the right) adds to the fizzling out of the effect.

Perhaps change that last panel to one of him yelling/screaming at the boss instead. Though I suspect your script calls for the accountant character to leave the meeting room also, so you may need to figure out a different way to work that into the art.

Good work on the whole, just change that last panel and it's all good. :)

[Shortboy]

This looks very promissing! Enjoyed the three pages, but would like more!:D Sometimes I feel just like that guy!

[FlepDjec]

late reply but: thanks to all! glad yo liked it.

shortboy: this guys life is one of my worst nightmares so i think i'll just never stop studying:cool:

cuddly: i see what you mean. i can flip those panels, but then the same occures somewhere else. and we have to see allen leaving the room. if i fix this its best to redo the whole page, and as xtrvgnz nicely put it


work harder, dammid! you've been fooling around with this story for ages!

i'll see

the whole story is available now!