View Full Version : The Hyper Girl
I publish this on www.preurbano.com
there i have my comic section.hope you like it.
05-07-2003, 09:47 AM
Well, I've looked at this a couple of times, and I guess I just have to be honest - I can't make heads or tails of what's going on here. I don't mean to be cruel or harsh, but even if the dialogue is in a language foreign to the reader, the artwork ought to convey the basic gist of the story.
In these pages, you've packed the panels with closeup after closeup, and you've only minimally indicated any backgrounds. The characters are obviously speaking, but I have no idea to whom they are speaking until the very last panel - which is the first time we see the two characters in any sort of clear visual relationship. Up until that panel, it's impossible to know who they're speaking to if you don't understand the dialogue, you know?
We need an establishing shot, showing not only the location, but the relative locations of the characters to each other (and maybe even show us some other folks running around here and there - it seems to be a city after all). And a couple of shots showing the two main characters in the same panel would help, too.
05-07-2003, 11:15 AM
So bubble gum is Kriptonite to the gold dude attacking the city. Hmmm... interesting.
I think you've got good coloring skills, if only you have paint shop pro or photoshop, you could execute it a little better.
I don't like the super thick magic marker letter balloons you got. I think you should ink letter balloons with a bold ink pen or ink nib.
Your panels could use a ruler as well. Strait panels help get that professional look we all strive to get.
That is all. I like the energy. I like the quick cuts. I like the way you draw buildings. Just work on getting to the professional level.
I'd bet you'd draw a killer Power Puff Girls story.
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