Page 3 of a 3 Page Cross Gen Submission

[fusciart]

I started the last page first because I have to dig for reference for the first 2 pages.

http://www.angelfire.com/comics/fuscia/Cross_Gen_Sample_3.gif

[chynco]

Nice page,

I wish i could say somethign about the storytelling but i cant since its only one page. But overall everythign is clear on this page.

So i will critique the art, the perspective in your darwings is not techinally correct, although it may look visually correct.. The angle of the building is a little too dramatic. it doesnt even seem to be that tall. (only four levels.) make the third vanishing point higher and it'll make the building look more real. I assume that those dark blocks on the bottom of the building are the doors which means that the surrounding landscape is very plain. Theres nothing else on the ground? no bushes, lamp posts? where is this taking place?

The next panel the perspective is also off, but hard to tell. From my judgment the vanishing point is about midchest of that skeleton guy and the knee of the background figure. which means that the background figure must be 20 ft tall or the skeleton is the size of MINI-ME.

general tip on perspective -- if you're doing perspective indoors.. the farther away the vanishing points are the more realistic. other wise you'll get a fisheye lense effect. its OK to have them close when you're outside.
i generally never use 1-point perspective unless it's inside a tunnel or long hallway or i want to do something artsy.
but i applaud your attempt at perspective,,, something very few people even dare try.

as for anatomy problems, things look good for the most part. the last panel... we shouldn't be able to see inside the skeletons pants. and the figure in the foreground isn't kneeling ON the floor.. he seems to be floating.. pretend he's a box.. draw him in perspective. also his arms are a little short.

that's bout it... i hope i can see more.

your work is good, theres just small tecnical problems.

[fusciart]

Do you think the skeleton in panel 4 is too small compared to the figure in the foreground?

[Bruce Lee]

Panel one bothers me a little because the building is too centered for my taste, and the perspective isn't working so well. At this angle, we should see more foreshortening taking place. In essence, the building's lower floors should appear larger and closer to the viewer than the top floors, but this bit of perspective tapering isn't really taking place. That's part of what's throwing things off here.

Chynco is right regarding the perspective in panel two. The guy opening the door it a giant, and the bony goon in the foreground looks to be about 1/3 the height of a human sized skeleton.

Chynco's also right about the guy's arms in the last panel. They're a trifle short, though I don't think they're off by all that much. If a figure is standing with arms straight at their sides, their finger tips should reach to about mid-thigh. This guy's arms look like they could almost do that, but not quite.

I have to say, Rich, that you've handled the skeleton particularly well. Skeleton's are not easy to draw, even with reference at hand. Just know that a skeleton wearing pants (as depicted in the last panel) will look much different--well, at least where the pants are concerned. There should be much more wrinkles and sunken areas in regards to his britches. The pants you've drawn look like slacks worn over a flesh-covered body. Think about it. A skinny person's clothes always look baggy--right? Imagine now how baggy a skeleton's clothes would be!

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[fusciart]

Hey Loston,

Thanks for the crits!

I'll rework the revisions after I finish page 1 which I'll have posted in a couple of days.

I totally agree with you on the skeleton wearing the pants. But this character takes on human form when wearing clothes. In the last panel he's putting on a hand with empty skin on it that transforms into a human hand. I don't know if you noticed but hanging on the dressing stand is an empty skin of a human head.

I don't know why but skeletons have always been my favorite thing to draw.

Thanks again and look out for page 1 !

[Bruce Lee]

I didn't notice the hanging head (might need to be more prominent), and I thought that he was putting on regular gloves. Man, this guy's creepy!

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[vinnlander1313]

i'm not sure exactly what is goin on. which character in panel 3 is comin through the door in panel 2, the goon or the scared guy. cuz there is only one in the 2 panel and suddenly there is two in the 3rd panel. this is unclear. everything else i can see has already been covered. where did you get this submission from? the only one i've seen from crossgen is the fantasy one with the knight in the bazaar and the alien queen. ;cap;

[fusciart]

I got the script at the Atlanta Comicon last weekend. I showed Bart Sears some of my Critical Mass stuff and he gave me a sample script to draw. It's like a 3 page Mystic story and a 3 page Sigil story.

[Propsdue]

Hey fusciart...I'm working on the exact same script..handed to me by the exact same guy...Nice job on your drawings...If you would please PM me some info on those references when you find them for the first 2 pages because i have no idea who some of those characters are..Thanks

[fusciart]

I'll scan some images and P.M. them later tonight.

[vinnlander1313]

well, i couldnt make it to atlanta. any chance you could pass on that script? prettiest please? i might like to take a shot at it. it looks interesting. also, did he tell you guys where to send it to? it would be much appreciated thanks!

[fusciart]

Sure. I'll private message it to ya!

[vinnlander1313]

you are a great great man. thank you. my girlfriend has every crossgen book published. she will get a kick out of it. ;cap;