Space Mouse

[PanzerBanana]

Hi all, this is my first post. I'm more of a cartoonist. Though I do like to practice with comics since sequential skills will do much for my storyboarding. Plus, the comic setup will help if I manage to develope a nifty lil' comic out of it anyway. I know it's not all that crisp, but I was really just getting started with digital stuff. Not having much comic practice under my belt I thought I'd see what y'all thought of my sequential work. It's a few sample pages from a comic from a toon idea I have in development. http://panzerbanana.rydia.net/images/njerk/spacemouse.jpg http://panzerbanana.rydia.net/images/njerk/spacemouse2.jpg http://panzerbanana.rydia.net/images/njerk/spacemouse3.jpg

[chynco]

you're storytelling's not bad. it's nicely paced and very easy to understand. you are breaking the traditional "left to right rule" where things usually would be moving from left to right not right to left, but in this case i don't think it's that much of a distraction.


I'm more of a cartoonist. Though I do like to practice with comics

i don't understand this... cartoonist ARE people who do comics, you mean you're an ANIMATOR! I hate it when people ask me what I do and i say I'm a cartoonist then they ask me if i wanna work for disney... ungh...

[PanzerBanana]

What?! There's rules? "left to right" you mean the first page where the mouse is moving in a direction opposite of the way it's read, correct?

When I had the idea in my head, that was the way he was traveling, I just drew different parts of the trip.

Also I was sort of doing this so that it could be used as the basis of a storyboard.

And when I say I'm a "cartoonist" as opposed to comics. I mean style wise. Cause you've got "comic" comics, with the more realistic styles, Batman, X-men, the illfated Battlechasers(I'm still angry). Then you've got the cartoony styles, that resemble the stuff you'd see on Saturday morning or in the Sunday paper, or Cartoon Network.

Maybe I'm the only one that classifies stuff that way. I've tried more realistic stuff, but I always went back to cartoons. So I figured that's my nature, so I stopped fighting it.

And when I mentioned practice with comics, that's just to round out my skills. I don't animate, I don't have the mindset for that, I'd go nuts. I wanna, write, design, and create, comic and sequential stuff helps me as I would enjoy storyboarding.

And I'm quite pleased to hear that it's not that bad. =) I've only got a handfull, if that, of sequential stuff. I usually do more illustration type stuff. I've got some rough scenes lying around somewhere that I may scan and post.

[Saturn Lad]

"Cartoonist" is fine, it's when you mention "storyboarding" that we figured you were an animator. And of course there are rules! :D Aren't there always? Check the list of recommended books at the top of this forum and you'll see some highly recommended ones from Will Eisner. Really good stuff to learn sequential storytelling, in any "style" of comic work.

Regarding the "left to right" rule, well, rules are meant to be broken, right? Well, if there's a good reason. Anyway, here's what the image would look like with the panels in question reversed... I'll let you decide which you feel reads better, but this way just seems to me like it would _pull_ the reader to the next page. What do you think?

http://www.saturnstudio.com/comics/graphics/spacemouse_reversed.jpg

Anyway, I like the pages. I'm not sure about the character's eyes, though. I'm having trouble "reading" them... if that makes sense. Sometimes it looks like more of a mask than eyes.

[PanzerBanana]

D'OH!! Now I feel like a schmuck....Keep the reader moving through the book. I learned that from my highschool art teacher...Course when I was doing it I was thinking "tv". =)

I say storyboarding a lot, those I can do. But I don't wanna animate. But since I do want to be a part of Cartoon Network one day, I do plan on learning the other parts of making a toon. But I am leaving my options open such as comics if that seems a good route.

[Saturn Lad]

Yeah, I love to watch animation, but I don't really have the urge to create it myself either. Something else I noticed that you'll want to beware of in your artwork are tangents. Tangents are where lines intersect at the same point. They cause your artwork to look flat as objects on different planes "touch" each other and lose the illusion of depth. This become more problematic as the artwork gets more and more detailed and complex. I'll point out some in one of your pages here, so you'll see what I mean.

http://www.saturnstudio.com/comics/graphics/spacemouse3_tangents.jpg

[PanzerBanana]

Ah, ok. I think I get what you're sayin'. Thanks. =)

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention his eyes. I wanted him to have lil' beady eyes that lack expression. You just kinda have to watch him do his thing.

Oh, here's the last page I've got...so far. I'm thinkin' of goin' back to finish the comic. I know I gotta tighten things up, but I really did just kind of "rough it". Just to get the idea out.


http://panzerbanana.rydia.net/images/njerk/spacemouse4.jpg

[Saturn Lad]

Dude, you're either going to love me or hate me, but I've got another "rule" for you. :D Try to avoid "centering", which means that you have a foreground element that centers in the middle of an object behind it. This is particularly important when they're around the same size, but even if they're not they should be avoided because they can also cause the image to lose its depth. The way that the line in the ground is going almost straight up the middle of the mouse would be an example.

There was a really good article on these types of compositional rules that are used to control the illusion of depth in a drawing in the fifth issue of Draw! magazine. If you can find a copy, I'd recommend the article. It's by Paul Rivoche. It can also be purchased on-line at http://www.drawmagazine.com/

Keep it up and let us see more! ;pencil;

[PanzerBanana]

Don't worry, your tips have been quite helpful. I appreciate it. =) So I would have done better to have positioned the tiles so that the mouse would have been on one tile in stead of two?

I wanted to show both the gradure of the room, as well as the mouse is mouse size. Oh, the character in the many depictions is a lil' alien Njerk....I've got more of him to show. But please do remember I created him before Zim.

As soon as I first saw Zim I thought "oh great". They even wear the same color and have a robot sidekick. Though Njerk's bot is a mild mannered lil' guy that is quite spherical and not...stupid. =)