View Full Version : "Normal" Pages
04-12-2003, 10:44 AM
Here are a couple pages from a book called "Normal" that I'm working on with Jason Latour. I'll be updating this post soon.
04-12-2003, 01:39 PM
04-12-2003, 01:40 PM
04-12-2003, 03:49 PM
04-13-2003, 03:06 AM
Although there do seem to be some perspective flaws in panel 1..
And maybe it would have been better if you flipped the last panel.
But besides those remarks, the art on this one is great.
04-13-2003, 12:50 PM
this is really good...
i luv the title page....
my only beef is the guys pants i think they may be a little too dark
04-13-2003, 01:19 PM
Title page is GREAT, but I agree, his pants or the shadow maybe a bit too dark cause it took me a second to really see what was happening. But maybe you did that onpurpose?
On the second page, second panel, I don't know how I feel about the cropping of the man fixing his tie in the foreground. I'm all for the overlapping panel idea, but the fact that he gets cut off at the waist makes me feel claustrophobic.
Also, watch how his arms are cut off. It feels like they're not his arms, that they're phantom arms comingin from off the panel. Some wrinkles in his jacket could possibly remedy this~
For some reason, the second to last panel where he lays the paper on the desk is my favorite one >_< it's a very simple panel, but the composition is good, it's clear what happening, and there are no awkward cut-offs.
Also, adding some texture or detail to your background could help your characters pop out more. Then again, this is a cold environment, and judging from your cover you're bound to add texture and the like in the coloring process~
I love the drawing of the second lady in line looking at her watch. Very natural gesture!
Overall the story thus far is clear, even tho not much happened. I wasn't confused, just some tweaks that could ease the reading is all~ Good work =)
04-13-2003, 02:07 PM
Yeah the title page pants are supposed to be dark. I wanted it to be on the verge of a silhouette but not. Almost as if light just poured in as the camera opens. It wouldnt be totally black but it gets pounded by light around it.
As for the second page.. that panel where he breaks is a little irritating but it's what I call a learner. I know what not to do next time. But as for the environment being cold and there not being alot of texture. i did that on purpose. Alot of it is going to be added through color and alot of it I wanted cold on purpose. The setting is a very corporate bank and I wanted alot of clean lines and glassy surfaces. Almost like they are in a room of mirrors.
I do agree about the middle panel at the bottom. I think I started the page out very confident then had to come back to it with that second panel and It took me a while to get some confidence again and it really took off with that panel. There is alot about that panel I like.
04-14-2003, 07:12 AM
That's some nice work. :)
04-15-2003, 04:24 PM
Nice job there! Love the cover and everything else, except a couple of details:
The guy's pants, I agree, are too dark.
On the third panel, the guy's arm and the clerk's face seem a little rigid.
Other than that, very good.
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