You know about women? [Archive]

shinolahead

10-06-2002, 05:52 AM

Originally posted by Devilman
God just wanted dudes, but I was like, "hey man, don't you think that's sorta lame." So, I got him to make women.

...and then John was still, like "hey man, don't you think that's kinda still lame?". So, God made a mirror. And behold! The manchild was pacified.

..now you know the REST of the story.

;) <------- me winking, indicating that, "I kid, I kid".

Ra Havok

10-06-2002, 06:29 AM

Thank you , John!
I owe you for life.

Juan

10-06-2002, 08:04 AM

Originally posted by shinolahead

...and then John was still, like "hey man, don't you think that's kinda still lame?". So, God made a mirror. And behold! The manchild was pacified.

..now you know the REST of the story.

;) <------- me winking, indicating that, "I kid, I kid".

LOL - Man thats funny as hell but sad cause its true. LOL!

Beastie

10-06-2002, 01:41 PM

Originally posted by Devilman
God just wanted dudes, but I was like, "hey man, don't you think that's sorta lame." So, I got him to make women. Just wanted you to know what they DIDN'T tell you in the bible.

you know who to thank.

Hmm.

I would probably hate you as often as I would want to thank you.

Women can be great.

They can also be creatures from hell, sent to torment me with their illogical PMS fuelled drivel.

So, um thanks - I think.

(I'm in the middle of a very bad argument as I type this. I've come to get some peace from female lunacy).

bushiboy

10-06-2002, 02:35 PM

Wow,I never noticed this.

Lunacy=Lunar

Lunar Cycle=Menstrual Cycle

So, really, only a woman can be a lunatic.

Like only a woman can be hysterical.

The root hyster- comes from the Greek word for womb. So, the psycholological disturbance termed hysteria was originally believed to be a disease of women and resulted from some disturbance in the uterus. Its origin is in the late 17th century.

Devilman

10-06-2002, 03:14 PM

Originally posted by bushiboy

Like only a woman can be hysterical.

The root hyster- comes from the Greek word for womb. So, the psycholological disturbance termed hysteria was originally believed to be a disease of women and resulted from some disturbance in the uterus. Its origin is in the late 17th century.

That, or a Def Leapord CD.

You know, i was even thinking about goign to the "Women and Comics" section of this forum and saying something like < "You should all pay homage! You wouldn't even BE here if it wasn't for me!" And then posting some more pics of myself for Lugz and Legend of 8.

Carter

10-06-2002, 04:12 PM

Originally posted by bushiboy
Wow,I never noticed this.

Lunacy=Lunar

Lunar Cycle=Menstrual Cycle

So, really, only a woman can be a lunatic.

Like only a woman can be hysterical.

The root hyster- comes from the Greek word for womb. So, the psycholological disturbance termed hysteria was originally believed to be a disease of women and resulted from some disturbance in the uterus. Its origin is in the late 17th century.

It all makes so much sense now...

--Carter--

Y2Jenn

10-07-2002, 11:11 AM

I just got an urge to shoot people....

Beastie

10-07-2002, 12:59 PM

Originally posted by Y2Jenn
I just got an urge to shoot people....

Thats it!!

Thats exactly what I'm talking about!!

They're just SO moody!!

hehehehe :D

ps. please don't shoot me.

whibbage

10-07-2002, 03:14 PM

if you had to go through the same pain that we go through every month you'd be moody too... =(

Tight-Pants Jack

10-07-2002, 03:33 PM

Originally posted by Y2Jenn
I just got an urge to shoot people....

Heh heh heh. . .

(I'm calling the police)

Beastie

10-07-2002, 04:13 PM

Originally posted by whibbage
if you had to go through the same pain that we go through every month you'd be moody too... =(

I don't doubt that its painful.
My girlfriend has terrible trouble realising that I have a bad time during her PMS as well though.

She gets cramps and her hormones fly all over the place making her illogical and freakish ................ but all of that pain is wrapped up in a collection of choice words and directed at yours truly.

I'm not trying to belittle a condition which can make some women suicidal - I'm just making it known that living with someone that goes through it is also a huge ordeal.

Debs

10-07-2002, 05:01 PM

I'd just like to break the news that not all girls have PMS... or at least not so severely. *I* for one! heh. :p

Hence I have no excuse for any of the outbursts of insanity that I may have... darn. ;)

BTW, all that Oxford English Dictionary reciting of your's only goes to show how society creates the meaning of words- the words themselves mean nothing alone. Reading through the OED is fascinating in that one word will mean a hundred different things over a period of centuries depending on the year. Words morph to fit the perceptions of people.

nate lovett

10-08-2002, 12:04 AM

do you notice that the women here just keep postiong things that then go on to back up everything else that's been said?
;) ;)

i'm just kidding, my wife would kick my ass if she knew what i just said.:D

Beastie

10-08-2002, 12:40 AM

Originally posted by Debs

BTW, all that Oxford English Dictionary reciting of your's only goes to show how society creates the meaning of words- the words themselves mean nothing alone.

I'd like to see your dictionary.
It sounds interesting.

whibbage

10-08-2002, 12:53 AM

beastie yeah I feel bad about giving my bf a little bit of drama every now and then. It's not that I get angry, usually I just get depressed hehe. Luckilly he's extremely patient and understanding, so it's all good~ both men and women have their conflicts with the opposite sex, though. You should hear my friends when they start male bashing... I usually just try to walk away >_<

Beastie

10-08-2002, 02:36 AM

Originally posted by whibbage
It's not that I get angry, usually I just get depressed hehe.

Yeah, she gets that way too.
Her favourite subjects to get down about are:-

her weight
her clothes
the house being untidy
her friends having better stuff than she does
everything I do
everything I say

Luckilly he's extremely patient and understanding, so it's all good~

Ah, well I've tried that.
Really I have.
We've been together nearly 5 years - so I've tried everything.
The thing thats difficult is that she talks nonsense whilst shes in 'the dark place' (hehehe) - but she still expects me to take her totally seriously and to respond normally to the outrageous comments and accusations that come my way. If it were just the odd comment, I could cope - but it can be up to 10 days of living with someone who doesn't make ANY sense at all when they speak.

I think I need to end this conversation now.
I beginning to feel extremely sorry for myself. :D

Debs

10-08-2002, 10:39 AM

Beastie, the OED is at every library I've ever been to, especially the university ones. Just ask a librarian for the Oxford English Dictionary and you'll be ushered to a whole row of big, thick reference texts. They helped me immensely while I studied Chaucer and Shakespeare, because while they both wrote in English, most of the words had a completely different context then from what I now know them to mean. This is the primary reason I dislike translations of Old and Middle (and even Tudor) English; you lose a lot of the puns and jokes in the text. Fun stuff. :cool:

Akira X

10-08-2002, 02:37 PM

Originally posted by bushiboy
The shocking part is, this post does NOT have a shirtless picture of him accompanying it.

Thats cause he's still riding the high from all those CK Crave commercials he's in.

AY DIOS MIO!!

Devilman

10-08-2002, 03:11 PM

You should read what the japanese villages used to think of the female menstral cycle, (not to be confused with the Japanese Minstral cycle)

Spidey

10-08-2002, 04:32 PM

Originally posted by Akira X

Thats cause he's still riding the high from all those CK Crave commercials he's in.

Yeah, thats super saiya-jin John. Except insted of his powers increasing he just get more vain.

whibbage

10-08-2002, 06:18 PM

ahh beastie, she can't help it. you'd be that way too if your hormones were on a rollercoaster. anyway you've been together for five years, must mean you're good to her when she's in her fragile state hee hee~

I don't know about her, but sometimes my pain becomes excrutiating and anyone can be moody after what I go through! >_< Some examples... cold sweat, black outs, dizzyness, nausea, numbness, paralyzingly painful cramps, headache... ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It basically feels like there's a boulder on your stomach for two days. Just thought I'd let you know... being female can be real tough... you know.. just to take the side of the underdog T_T

Devilman

10-08-2002, 06:55 PM

Originally posted by whibbage
ahh

You can get a shot that will clear that right up. For years, even. It's not for everyone, but it might be just right for YOU!

As for men not having hormone imbalances........

..................................

And for the other guys who have trouble relating to the women who are on their cycle, you can do what the anceint japanese did, and send them to a shack outside your village until this turbulant time is over.

Y2Jenn

10-10-2002, 11:06 AM

You damn men have got it too easy. Really... you have no arguement here. Buncha buttheads... YOU CARRY A DAMN KID FOR NINE FRIGGIN MONTHS and THEN PUSH IT OUT! OH! AND YOU'RE ALL SO OBSESSED WITH BOOBIES!!!!!!! YOU GET YOUR OWN DAMN PAIR TO CARRY AROUND! SEE HOW YOU LIKE EM THEN!!!!... where is he? I'm gunna STRANGLE my husband!!!!!! *snort snarl* :mad:

Devilman

10-10-2002, 11:43 AM

bushiboy

10-10-2002, 09:01 PM

Originally posted by Devilman

And for the other guys who have trouble relating to the women who are on their cycle, you can do what the anceint japanese did, and send them to a shack outside your village until this turbulant time is over.

Ancient Hebrews did that too. They were "unclean".

And keep Jenn away from me.

Klawzie

10-10-2002, 09:17 PM

Woah. I'm glad I'm not PMSing right now. :D

I think PMS is different for every chica (in fact, sometimes they're differently painful for a woman each month) ...

...so without meaning in the least to insult your girlfriend, perhaps she's prone to theatrics/dramatics/moodiness at other times of the month too?

And as for being on topic... Uhm.. Thanks dude. Even with PMS I'd rather be a girl than a guy. :) We're prettier. XD

Inkthinker

10-10-2002, 09:24 PM

Originally posted by Y2Jenn
You damn men have got it too easy. Really... you have no arguement here. Buncha buttheads... YOU CARRY A DAMN KID FOR NINE FRIGGIN MONTHS and THEN PUSH IT OUT! OH! AND YOU'RE ALL SO OBSESSED WITH BOOBIES!!!!!!! YOU GET YOUR OWN DAMN PAIR TO CARRY AROUND! SEE HOW YOU LIKE EM THEN!!!!... where is he? I'm gunna STRANGLE my husband!!!!!! *snort snarl* :mad:

There's a good joke, goes like this:

God just finished creating all things, and he says to Adam, "Hey Adam, I got two more things for humans, one for men for women... not sure which one to give to whom though. So lemme ask... would you rather pee standing up, or would-"

Adam says, "Hell, yeah!! Pee standing up!! Bitchin!"

God says, "But-"

Adam says, "Nope, nope, pee standing up, sounds great, we want that one."

And God says, "Well, okay... so I guess it's multiple orgasms for the women, then."

You get MULTIPLE orgasms. If you're not getting 'em, then tell him he needs to work harder. Every time my girlfriend bitches about cramps and the nastiness that arises every 28 days or so, I look at her and say, "Multiple Orgasms"

And it's true.

As for the baby thing, well... if you don't want to do that, don't have a kid. It's your call, ultimately, and that's a pretty powerful position to be in.

nate lovett

10-10-2002, 09:57 PM

i second that inkthinker!!

nice joke by the way:D

Rey de las Cabras

10-10-2002, 11:13 PM

Originally posted by Inkthinker

There's a good joke, goes like this:

God just finished creating all things, and he says to Adam, "Hey Adam, I got two more things for humans, one for men for women... not sure which one to give to whom though. So lemme ask... would you rather pee standing up, or would-"

Adam says, "Hell, yeah!! Pee standing up!! Bitchin!"

God says, "But-"

Adam says, "Nope, nope, pee standing up, sounds great, we want that one."

And God says, "Well, okay... so I guess it's multiple orgasms for the women, then."

You get MULTIPLE orgasms. If you're not getting 'em, then tell him he needs to work harder. Every time my girlfriend bitches about cramps and the nastiness that arises every 28 days or so, I look at her and say, "Multiple Orgasms"

And it's true.

As for the baby thing, well... if you don't want to do that, don't have a kid. It's your call, ultimately, and that's a pretty powerful position to be in.

ditto that...

And on top of that I am bi-polar and have massive permanent injuries to both knees from being runnover by a drunk friend. So I know all about physical pain, and mood swings

GroundHog

10-11-2002, 07:40 AM

I like Women more than I like men. . . . . . alot . . umm. . . more.
as far as the creation goes. . . . we don't want to get me started.

I suppose hermaphrodites are just (ahem) "freaks" of nature then.
and if I was a part of a swarm of killer bees, I would have to try and destroy each and everyone of you for dissing the queen.

but then again, I'm assuming we are talking about the normal average everyday western female human, so do what thou wilt.
Maybe in a decade or so we will give a better try.

Y2Jenn

10-11-2002, 09:19 AM

*scratches noggen* Why for everyone taking me seriously? I mean really. I've been postin on here for over a year now and you folks still take me serious?! LOL I'm really happy I'm havin a kid. I'm not pmsing either.... bah, I hate it when I pms. I feel bad for my hubby when I'm doin that. I'm just saying, you guys have got it really easy. I wanna walk around without a shirt on damnit! What if I get an urge to scratch?!....

No...
no wait... I'm kidding.
Cute joke, Inky. LOL :D

Wait.. Dman's gots boobies?! :eek:

Devilman

10-11-2002, 12:18 PM

Originally posted by Y2Jenn
I wanna walk around without a shirt on damnit! What if I get an urge to scratch?!....

Wait.. Dman's gots boobies?! :eek:

you know, they made that legal (at least in NYC), and immediately thereafter, a woman walked around topless on the street. The funny thing was, the MOB, (yes, a freaking MOB) of men following her around. SOme of them might have been women with mullets, but you know the score.

Here's another joke about women that me and god came up with, (cause we both think you women are pretty silly)

Adam: God... Man, first let me tell you.... thanks for listening to John and making Women. Eve sure is great let me tell ya.... but,

God: But?

Adam: Well, it's been about a month now, and.... she seems to have started to smell..... you know, down THERE.

John: Ha ha ha, what a putz!

God: Well, Adam, would you like me to do something about that?

Adam: No, god. I was just giving you the heads up. I already got the situation under control.

God: OH?

Adam: Yeah, I just told her to go into the river and wash herself.

GOD + JOHN: AAAHHH!

John: YOU IDOT! Now all the fish are going to stink!

Pep

10-11-2002, 12:21 PM

there could be a possibly record joke of tediousness about seamen here.

Inkthinker

10-11-2002, 02:13 PM

Ewwwww....

:D

Akira X

10-11-2002, 04:39 PM

Ooh ooh, I got one.

Adam goes up to God one day.

Adam: Hey God, its pretty boring around here, and I'm tired of "laying" with the animals, if you know what I mean. Can we get something done about that around here?

God: Very well, give me a day to think about it, and tomorrow I'll have an idea for you.

So the next day God goes to Adam.

God: Alright, Adam. I've finally designed the perfect companion.

Adam: Sweet! All right, let's have it!

God: Not so fast, there will be a price.

Adam: Hurm. Okay, let's hear it.

God: Okay, in order for me to create your perfect companion, I'll need your left eyeball, your left ear, your left knee, one of your left ribs, a kidney, 4 toes, and your left testicle.

Adam: WOW! Holy crap!

God: Well?

Adam: Eh... What can I get for just the rib?

BADUM TISH!

Thank you!
*bows out*

Logan

10-11-2002, 08:11 PM

You guys are silly. Just for some clarification, I'm a dude. Being a dude fricken rules. We pee standing up. We can do cool manly things like get drunk and beat up animals. But the best thing about being a guy? No period. I think all you other dudes need to stop the women hating. Think about how you'd feel if you were hurting a lot and some jackass comes home and says"Oh jeezus edna, Is it THAT time o da month? Cry me a riva." I'd probably scream at him too, cause I wouldn't be able to kick his ass (which would be what you really wanted to do). I say let the women rave incoherently and slap us once a month. Look what we get in return, cuddling, kids (if you're into that) and Boobies. Boobies rule. Not to mention you can act like a big sissy around them and instead of getting punched in the face by some drunk guy you get hugs. What's not to like? Just to wrap things up, here's a side by side comparison of how women rock compared to men:

Men
No Boobies (except for dom delouise)
Ugly
Hairy
And face it, we stink like monkeys in a zoo

Women
BOOBIES
pretty
Smooth (and delectable)
Smell like pretty flowery stuff (most of the time)

'Nuff said;bat;

Inkthinker

10-11-2002, 08:28 PM

Who's being misogynistic? I think women rock. I just also think that the ability to experience more pleasure from sex than men and to have the ultimate decision regarding the act of childbearng makes up, at least more than somewhat, for the pain and inconvienience of a menstual cycle.

I love the ladies!! Love 'em, I say!!

:D

Devilman

10-11-2002, 08:46 PM

and your loving them is why you should thank me for telling God to make them in the first place! Hence, the reason i made this post. PAY HOMAGE, DOGS!

Inkthinker

10-11-2002, 09:28 PM

Actually, I think I may file a class-action suit against you for all the pain and suffering that both men and women have endured during countless centuries of relationship-based miseries...

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! GET 'IM FOLKS!!

Y2Jenn

10-11-2002, 10:43 PM

*beats John relentlessly with an ugly stick*

Logan

10-11-2002, 11:48 PM

now now, let's stop the hurtin', people. where's the love??

silly me, i was really drunk last night. please ignore all my inane posts mrt;

nate lovett

10-12-2002, 12:00 AM

obviously not going towards ol' devilman.:D

Awesome B. Rockinsocks

10-12-2002, 11:10 AM

Really people, if you keep replying to this thread, the more your going to provoke him.:rolleyes:

Steampunk

10-12-2002, 11:52 PM

first off, thanks john, you and god are good people

second, on the PMS discussion, i honestly think that both sides have it wrong here...most women don't have PMS at all (even the majority of the ones who *think* they do, actually don't)...see, you've got to remember, the P stands for "pre"...cramps and whatnot are caused DURING menstration, it's called dysmenorreah, i believe

so, if most women don't actually suffer from PMS, why do they often act like it? society has pushed that belief onto them...they *think* they should act that way, so they do...it's primarilly a western phenomenon too, apparently (it's what textbooks say)

as for the hormone arguement? well, the time in a woman's cycle *right* before menstration (ie, pre-menstration) actually shows hormone levels that are closer to men's levels than any other time in their cycle...so, if women are so irrational because of their PM hormones, it's because they're acting more like guys than at any other time :P

anyways, that was fun...remember, i'm talking about PMS, if it was some sort of "MS" we were discussing, then yeah, women have every right to be moody ;)

(also, be careful endorsing that shot john, it's only been around for a few years, and the long term effects really aren't known!!)

Devilman

10-13-2002, 01:29 AM

Originally posted by Inkthinker
Actually, I think I may file a class-action suit against you for all the pain and suffering that both men and women have endured during countless centuries of relationship-based miseries...

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! GET 'IM FOLKS!!

Yeah, you go ahead and try, Inkthinker. I bet it works as good as the link to your sample online portfolio! You forget, i have GOD on my side!

Debs

10-13-2002, 11:57 AM

Steampunk:
<<as for the hormone arguement? well, the time in a woman's cycle *right* before menstration (ie, pre-menstration) actually shows hormone levels that are closer to men's levels than any other time in their cycle...so, if women are so irrational because of their PM hormones, it's because they're acting more like guys than at any other time :P>>

*snort* Oh my.

Just want to reiterate (lol) PMS does not apply to all women! Lovely scientifics, Steammy. I have definitely read that somewhere. :p

And I can beat someone up whenever the hell I want to. The thing I've always loved about being female (especially in today's western society) is that I can do and be pretty much anything I want. I can wear pants, dresses, skirts, boots, I can have short hair, long hair, look like a man, a woman, whatever. Then I can have children or not have them, engage in relationships or not, have a career or not, gosh, the ambiguity is fantastic. And yeah, great orgasms. Ultimate freedom. I LOVE MYSELF!

Uh oh, I'm starting to sound like Devilman now...

The serious bottom line for me is I find it impossible to generalize either gender. Reality is, it's always more individually based than gender based. Tis my experience and belief!

Logan

10-13-2002, 12:11 PM

john, you suck cause you lie. LIE!!! whoever thought up women though, he/she/it (sheeit?) rules. :D oh, and everyone buy lesbian sex secrets for men. damn fine book.

;bat;

Inkthinker

10-13-2002, 09:20 PM

Originally posted by Devilman

Yeah, you go ahead and try, Inkthinker. I bet it works as good as the link to your sample online portfolio! You forget, i have GOD on my side!

Hey!! What the hall happened to my portfolio, dammit?!?!

Ugh, MUST create webpage... :(

danimation2001

10-13-2002, 11:05 PM

writes down book title*

Devilman

10-14-2002, 03:45 AM

Originally posted by Inkthinker

Hey!! What the hall happened to my portfolio, dammit?!?!

Ugh, MUST create webpage... :(

I SMITE THEE! GOD SMITES THEE! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Y2Jenn

10-14-2002, 10:37 AM

*tosses hands into the air* I GIVE UP!

Inkthinker

10-14-2002, 04:38 PM

Wow, that was an great thread... Too funny.

:D

Devilman

10-14-2002, 05:44 PM

Yes, I agree Inkthinker. i just want to thank first and foremost, GOD. Through him, all things are possible.

I'd also like to thank Penciljack, the producer.... uhm, the wonderful adlibbers that have assembled for this production and made it a really worthwhile project to be involved in, the FCC, Fruity Pebbles cereal and Y2Jenn's hormones.

Get ready , Y2j3nn, this is the world you're going to have to raise your child in! ;)