remember when you'd say "es-eee-ex"

[Devilman]

back during a time of innocence when everything was brand new, and you didn't really know what all "es eee ex" entailed, but you knew that it was sometihng for grown ups, so that when you did say it, it was a barely audible whisper.

Take it back to yesteryear and recall some of the more hysterical of traits your little you possessed.


Remember how bad you used to want your feet to touch the floor of the car when you were sitting? Remember hating having to go to sleep? Remember always waking up at 6AM (or sooner) to get ready to watch saturday morning cartoons?

Well, what else do you remember?

[Mike]

I remember a couple of times when I was still in my single digit years, my mom sent me and my brother to the convenience store to get her cigarettes with a hand written note. Not really a trait, but funny none-the-less.

I also remember when I was below the age of ten I sounded like I'd just gotten off work at the docks. Mouth like a sailor. I still have to struggle to keep it in check when I'm at work.

Another childhood trait that never left is that I run into things constantly. I mentioned this in the "how stupid are you thread". Now, I just hit my arms and shoulders on walls, but not my head.

[Carter]

I remember that I wouldn't eat ice cream cones cuz I thought they were made out of wood.

--Carter--

[Devilman]

I used to eat whipped cream like it was somehitng that people would eat a bunch of. Now, i can't eat it at all. It's revolting.


I don't know if they're lying or not, but my aunt tells me that one time i squished a roach and ate it and told her "mmmmm, meaty". But i don't know if i believe her cause she's off her rocker.

[Carter]

My dad said I ate a bunch of Crisco one time.

And my mom is whacko, too.

--Carter--

[JeremyW]

I remember in kindergarten I used to always paint pictures of haunted houses and the teachers got annoyed at me for painting haunted houses all the time.

Then I started likeing skeletons and I had to go see a therapist to stop me likeing skeletons and all my skeleton stuff was taken away.

[JeremyW]

Oh and here is a funny one. During my first year of school everyday we would have to write a short "story" to read in front of the class. We were all given a subject and the storys only had to be one or two sentences long. I always wanted to get the story out of the way quickly so I would always write something like "there was a plane", "there was a cat" there was a car". Then one day after I had read out my story the teacher grabbed me by my arm and said in an angry voice "I'm sick of your "there was" stories". That was a christian school. We were told it was a sin to "want things". We would say "shut up your just a wanter".

[Awesome B. Rockinsocks]

on easter morning-my drunken grandmother relaying a tale of how the easter bunny came over and did shots with her last night.

[Awesome B. Rockinsocks]

I also ate rocks and a cigarette butt at the beach when my parents took me out to montauk.

[Hazard]

I always sprayed hair spray on my tongue for about 3 years cuz i thought it was binaca. i also remember thinking a pot of hot boiling water was coffee and knocked it off the oven and nearly burnt my nipple off, those were some good times...

[Mike]

I used to drink coffee when I was like 1 or whenever it was that I was up and running. My mom had to hide her cup anytime she left it sitting on a table. I don't remember any of that.

I do remember that I used to grab little handfuls of raw beef when my mom would be making spaghetti or meatloaf. She'd get so mad when I'd do that, but it tasted really good at the time.

My sister, when she was a baby, ate cigarette butts and stuff. One time a cricket landed on her head and she just reached up there and stuffed it in her mouth. Disgusting.

[Devilman]

oh man, this is good stuff. This thread has me laughing!

[Tory]

I liked to eat leaves when i was really young. And i liked the way car exhaust smelled, so i'd inhale car fumes a lot.
I was such an evil kid, i locked the babysitter out of my house, or refused to come out of hiding until the ransome was met. ;dvl;

[Akira X]

I remember that I always used to watch the Simpsons (still do) and decided to start talking like Bart, so one night at dinner I announced at the table "This food sucks!" My dad yelled at me really mad-like and told me to never say that word again, so for the next 5 years I was terrified at saying "sucks".

In Kindergarten we weren't allowed to bring toys to school, so in the morning until recess I would draw, color, and cut out Ninja Turtles and Ghostbusters to play with on the playground. I even made weapons and stuff. All the kids thought I was awesome.

One of my first comic characters came from a combination of my favorite things, namely Simpsons and TMNT. His name was Fred, he was a turtle and he had a huge tall head like Bart's but with no hair, like Homer. He played hockey. And was also a ninja.

One time in Kindergarten, we had to write and illustrate stories. So the story I picked was the part in the TMNT movie where Michealangelo and the foot soldier have the numchucks contest. I was coloring the last picture where Mikey wins by twirling them on his finger, when the teacher came over and told me we were supposed to make original stories. Screw her.

Also, in Kindergarten, when I was new to the class, the person the teacher sat me next to, and therefore I became friends with, was this really annoying kid who, every time you tried to talk to him, he'd whisper "Did you just say piss?" or "Did you say crap? Oh man, you just said crap!"

In my other Kindergarten, there was a kid in the class that would always spit at you if you came within a spitting distance of him. He was wierd, he had no friends. He was the last kid in the class to count to a hundred, so that meant that we had to wait, like, a month until we could get and ice cream party.

One time, when all us neighborhood kids were hanging out, 2 single guys who lived on the street were throwing away some stuff in the dumpster. I wasn't there, but I guess they had some hubcaps and other stuff kids might take interest in, so a kid asked them if they could take some of their stuff, they said sure, take whatever you want. So we sent a kid in to dig the stuff out of the dumpster (y'know, there was always the kid you sent in the dumpster) and apparently along with some neat junk they also threw away a whole box of porn. In like 5 minutes it was all scattered across the sidewalk, with every kid in the neighborhood there, wanting to look, but not wanting to get caught.

When I was a baby, I tried to cut a plugged-in electrical wire with some scissors. We still have the scissors to this day, with a hole melted into the blades.

In like 2nd grade, we had to do a play of the Aesop's Fable the Lion and the Mouse. I think I was one of the hunters, but anyway, I remember getting really psyched about being a hunter and I was going to put all this acting and tone into my voice because I knew that kids always sound boring. So my line came up and I delivered with total success, and the girl whose line was next went,
"............... tell-me-a-bout-it....... "
I wanted to strangle her.

Thats enough out of me, for now.

[Akira X]

Ooh, I remembered another one.

When I was little, I used to throw my action figures as high as I could in the air, just to see how they would bounce when they hit the grass.

























Every one of them broke.

[DEVin]

I remember when I was in 1st/2nd grade, Not only was I in Special Ed. I almost was sent to therapy because of my evergrowing fascination for death, creepy, horror stuff. I have a poem I did in 2nd grade, and I swear to God it's about me commiting suicide. I was a freak...

I was also hung up on TNMT like Nate.

And one time, my sister cut a lamp wire with scissors, Like nate did. She also had to get her stomach pumped when she was like 4, because she drank a bottle of some sort of prescription medicine.
Um. One time I learned my peepee gave me pleasure, when I was like 5 and after messing with "it", I eventually watched some christian show, or something like that, and was convinced I was going to hell, and for the next 3 years I was so afraid even to use the bathroom. And lookit me now. ;)

Oh, and one time we had to draw cards for our fathers on father's day, and apparently I was mad at my biological Dad, so I drew a dragon blowing fire on his face. That was one reason for the therapy thing.

My parent's had a party, and apparentely when I was about 5, I'd walk around and start gulping any beer that was laying around.

Um. Another time I almost got my family in legal trouble, for "sexual harrasement", because I was blowing kisses at the neighbor-girl. We were both around 5-6.

Mm, what else. I reply again if I can think of anything.


((DEVin!))

[Akira X]

Dev, you are destined for greatness.

See?

!Greatness!
----/\
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Register at Penciljack
----/\
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Gothic Poetry
----/\
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Therapy
----/\
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Masturbating
Alchoholism
Sexual Harrasment
----/\
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Birth

[Debs]

I once watched a cartoon (can't remember which), saw a cow eating the grass, and thought that grass must taste good. So I went outside and pulled out a piece and tried it. It tasted awful.

[Mike]

Originally posted by Akira X
One of my first comic characters came from a combination of my favorite things, namely Simpsons and TMNT. His name was Fred, he was a turtle and he had a huge tall head like Bart's but with no hair, like Homer. He played hockey. And was also a ninja.

I did something like that too. I was really into the Simpsons (as far as drawing stuff) and TMNT (as far as what toys I had). So I drew up my own creation. They were the Pre-Teen Assassin Ninja Dogs. They were pretty cool and my dad seemed to like them. I was just more interested in finding ways to use the word assassin since it's got the word "ass" in it twice.

[DeForgeo]

I got a stuffed panda from my uncle when I was two. I still have it in my room (in fact, I now have a small collection of stuffed pandas.) I once started humping it when my uncle to visit, and then he wrote about it in his newspaper column (see? I'm famous.)

I used to sing along to Captain Planet. I was proud because I was the first person in school to learn all the lyrics. I sang it all the time at recess, and then got beaten up.

I once shoplifted a packet of marbles from a toy store, and thought I was going to hell for the next two years.

When my parents used to take me to church every Sunday, and it freaked me out whenever they started singing or praying. I thought they were being brainwashed or something. So I asked the Sunday school teacher why the priest was brainwashing all the grown-ups, and she made me sit in a corner for the rest of class.

When I was 4, I was waiting in a department store with my dad while my mom shopped for shoes or something. A rather obese woman walked up to me and said what a cute little kid I was. I turned to my dad, tugged on his sleeve and blurted out, "Daddy, that lady sure is FAT!"

That's all I can think of right now.

[DeForgeo]

Ooh, one more:

One time in Kindergarden, I got into a really brutal tobogganing accident. I scraped my chin pretty bad, and I got blood all over myself. Ever since, I've been uneasy in participating in any snow-related sports. . .

[dfbovey]

It was summer and I was 4 years old. I remember coming home one night after going out to eat with my parents and our house had been broken into. The only thing I was concerned about is if they stole my sprinkler. I guess I really liked playing in the sprinkler!

[Beastie]

I ate rat poison when I was about 3 years old because I thought it was sherbet. I had to go to hospital and get my stomach flushed out.

I used tape playing cards onto the back forks of my bike so that they'd buzz through the spokes of the wheel as I rode along - thereby making me sound like I was riding a motorbike. I WAS Evel Kneivel.

My friends and I used to get rose petals and put them into a jar of water. We'd then put the water into little tubs and try to sell it to girls as perfume. That never worked.

[Akira X]

Originally posted by Beastie
My friends and I used to get rose petals and put them into a jar of water. We'd then put the water into little tubs and try to sell it to girls as perfume. That never worked.

Me and a friend of mine had a sham like that once. We went around the neighborhood picking those scallions that grow in the grass, we had a 2 foot tall pile of them on top of a picnic table, and tried to sell them to neighbors.
"Uh... you can use them to cook... or you could just chew'em... they smell nice. Like onions."
One guy bought some. We made a fine quarter that day.

[Mike]

Originally posted by DeForgeo
When my parents used to take me to church every Sunday, and it freaked me out whenever they started singing or praying. I thought they were being brainwashed or something. So I asked the Sunday school teacher why the priest was brainwashing all the grown-ups, and she made me sit in a corner for the rest of class.

It's true! It's funny and true! :D

[Carter]

Originally posted by DeForgeo
tobogganing

That must be Canadianese. Tagabongowhat?

--Carter--

[DeForgeo]

That must be Canadianese. Tagabongowhat?

Achoo. (http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=tobogganing)

[Pep]

when I was a wee baby just out of diapers I remember we were at the local country store just outside from the village where we have our cottage. I was dressed like all little girls in a cutesy little dress and such and right before the checkout counter I clearly stated how badly I needed to go potty and my parents told me to contain it until we were home and in a fit of very pre teen 'rebellion' I merrily peed all over the store floor, bent over and looking under my dress to see the miracle. My parents weren't as mirthful as I was. The lady behind the cash register was smiling tho as well as myself.

When I was in kindergarten we made our own magic play dough and I ate most of it because it was all salty and nice instead of making sculptures with it. All those macaroni paintings were soon eaten up too.

Later on I remember how we'd make sugar water in after school kindergarten too and sometimes we'd have contests in ho many sugar cubes we could eat. I can't stand the taste of raw sugar lumps to this day, they make me nauseaus. As well as hotdogs with ketchup. ugh, too sweet. An occational hotdog I can handle but then it mustard only, ketchup need not apply.

[Y2Jenn]

Originally posted by Devilman
Remember how bad you used to want your feet to touch the floor of the car when you were sitting? Remember hating having to go to sleep? Remember always waking up at 6AM (or sooner) to get ready to watch saturday morning cartoons?

Wha? I'm 21 and still do all that! *grumble* damn shortness... BAH! I hate goin to sleep and I still wake up pretty early to catch a glimsp of cartoons but they always seem to disappoint me.

I too was obsessed with TMNT and the Simpsons.
I've got a bunch of goofy little kid stories and such but in posting them i'd be afraid of being chastised from PJ for all eternity. :p I was a strange kid. Thats why I'm an artist now.

[Meg]

i have had a few run-ins with noxious chemicals:

once i swiped a loaded brush of nail polish across my tongue. ow. i think that strip is still desensitized.

once i was removing nail polish and, out of that same sick curiosity, lit the wad of toilet paper. it like, exploded... so i threw it in the TRASH CAN. yeah. i threw that in the shower.

once i melted a few braids of hair trying to bleach them... with undiluted bleach...

[Mike]

Hahahah. Oh wait.. I shouldn't laugh too hard because I still do dumb stuff. Yesterday when I was sick, I was laid out on the couch watching TV when someone knocked on the front door. There's a wooden rail and a beam going from the floor to the ceiling next to the door. As I got up, I grabbed the beam, to balance myself as I got up and to pull myself to the door, and wound up pulling my face right into it. I immediately fell down and kind of wobbled my eyes back into their sockets.

[shavedwookie]

this is the funniest thread ive ever read on pj.

I was kicked out of 5 kindergarten's because i use to kick the crap outta the other kids.... i broke one of there noses. parents nearly got sued.

i once tried to kill my mom-pushed her down the stairs.
i threw a pot of boiling water all over my brother-that was fun.


and one time in primary school, we were putting on a play "snow white and the 7 dwarfs"....may i point out i went to an all boys primary school.:D
well anyway while i was on stage (i played grumpy-damn straight i did) my pants kept falling down. stupid dwarf pants. and i got in a huff and slaped a few kids in the head for laughing at me.

oh and Devin....are you still going to that therapy- because i dont thinked it helped you much:D

[red7ine]

Originally posted by shavedwookie
this is the funniest thread ive ever read on pj.

I was kicked out of 5 kindergarten's because i use to kick the crap outta the other kids.... i broke one of there noses. parents nearly got sued.

i once tried to kill my mom-pushed her down the stairs.
i threw a pot of boiling water all over my brother-that was fun.


and one time in primary school, we were putting on a play "snow white and the 7 dwarfs"....may i point out i went to an all boys primary school.:D
well anyway while i was on stage (i played grumpy-damn straight i did) my pants kept falling down. stupid dwarf pants. and i got in a huff and slaped a few kids in the head for laughing at me.

oh and Devin....are you still going to that therapy- because i dont thinked it helped you much:D


:eek:

jeez, dude... if anybody needed to go on the Jenny Jones show and get sent to Boot Camp for some tough love, it's you...

wow...

[Inkthinker]

I used to eat sandwiches consisting of nothing but yellow mustard and white bread.

I also tried on several occasions to construct a Scooby-Doo type sandwich that was several feet tall... but y'know, those things get kinda top heavy after the seventh layer or so... plus now I understand the cost of all those sandwich fixins. Yeek!

[Spidey]

Originally posted by Inkthinker
I used to eat sandwiches consisting of nothing but yellow mustard and white bread.


I actually tried a tangwich once coutesy of Al Bundy, it tasted good at the time.

I used to hate corndogs, now I love'em.

When I was in kindergarten the teacher had us sitting down on teh floor "indianstyle" for story time. Right then a new girl was introduced so she was invited to sit next to the teacher on the desk in front of us, she sat down with her legs open and coincidntly was just at my eye level... She wasnt wearing panties! I mustve stayed 5 mins examinig her crotch from afar looking for her weiner.

Also when I was 5 my older brother and I were playing keep away with a leather belt in my room. I was getting tired of not being able to hang on it for long so I bit one end and hid under some covers, I conviniently left one side hanging out of the covers and my brother grabbed it and tugged on it so hard that the belt came out of my mouth along with my two front teeth.

Speaking of tmnt. I had a neighbor who had just moved in and had a whole bunch of tmnt toys, lucky for me he felt he was too old for them so he let me have the who bucket! I was stoked! But that just caused my ninja turtle greed to expand. When I was 8 I broke into my other neighbor's house to steal his case of tmnt toys. It felt like it was christmas at the time, but I feel so bad now.

I cant think of anything else right now, Im tired.

[shavedwookie]

Oh and when i was a kid the only way my parents could get me or my brother to go to the dentist was if we got new toys afterward-i loved going to the dentist and use to eat loads of suger so i could get new toys.

anyway one time after returning from the dentist, my brother and i were playing with the new toys( lion-o and panthro from tht thundercats) my brother got pissed with me and smashed mine on the floor.... so i nicked his and beat it with a hammer.
my dad tried to fix them but could only save lion-o... yes my brothers toy. he rubbed it in my face. so i threw it in the fire, VICTORY WAS MINE HAH HA HA HA HAH!

[Mase]

Ah, youth....

Before I could walk, my parents told me that - as soon as I could get close enough - I would slap strangers in the face. Hard. My parents said I was a blast at parties.

In kindergarten, we used to suck on the little rocks in the playground, because some of them were salty.

When I was about 8 or so, I got in a fight and karate-kicked this kid in the forehead. I still remember it - I couldn't believe it actually worked. I was a schoolyard legend for quite awhile.

I spent my childhood summers with family in Kentucky (where I was born). We all loved "The Chipmunk Adventure" movie for some reason. To this day, I still remember all of Alvin's parts to "We're the boys of Rock and Roll."

In Denver (where I grew up), when I was about 11, one of my friends dad's built us a club house. A few days after he finished it, some people up the street got forcibly evicted by their landlord. Needless to say, our crappy clubhouse was then very nicely furnished.

Good times, good times. :)

[crazyjedichicken]

damn funny thread says i!
from the age of two till around six i couldnt really talk all that well for some reason and my brother used to have to translate for me but hed curse all the time so id say "mumble mumble" then everyones like "what?" and my brother would shout out "he said he wants some ****ing biscuits!!" then id get in shit for cursing!

oh and cause of the whole not talking good thing i was brought for a hearing test and was declared deaf..but when my parents got me home they where talking boot it and wondering why i couldnt hear the noise and i sez "i didnt answer cause the i didnt like the lady!!hehe they had to hook me up to this really cool cap thing that was covered in wires!

oh me and my crazy friend evan used to watch anime all the time as kids and we got one when we where like 10 and it was 18 and full of sex and shit and we sat there and bitched cause we wanted some splosions and guys with guns!!oh to be young!!
oh and remeber getting teatowels and jumping off hsit and shouting batman!or superman!or towel man!?

[dariusdynamite]

Maaaaaan!! Some of ya'll were some BAD ASS, "Be Be's Kids":D

The extent of my terrorizing consisted of just fighting and stupid stunts! I would watch Kung-Fu theatre and see how they would jump over houses and fight those choreographed fights!! I tried to do that shyt!!!
Then, there was The Incredible Hulk!!! During recess, me and few friends would take our shirts off and drape them over our shoulders and run around the playground flexing and growling trying to turn heavy shyt over.
And finally, there was Shazam! I climbed on top of my grandmother's house and screamed "SHAZAM" at the top of my lungs, thinking I could fly!! Then, I lept off.....stretched out and everything! I was doing good for a while...... then I hit the ground......







really, REALLY HARD!!






Guess I still didn't get enough though. Now I'm in the Army jumping out of airplanes.........







And I STILL hit........ really, REALLY hard!!