How stupid are you? (give examples)

[Mike]

Just a minute ago I was nuking up some hot dogs (Hebrew National, baby) and as I was pulling buns out of a package I wondered, "what the hell did I do with my plate?". I set the buns on the counter and as I got the dogs out of the microwave, I realized, "oh yeah, the plate's under the hot dogs".

Nurr.

[Y2Jenn]

I forget that my glasses are on my face sometimes... other times I wonder what those blurry things on the road are that are coming towards me.... my glasses are on the top of my head when that happens... *sigh* Usually my retardation is associated with my glasses.

I left my keys in the ignition once and spent the rest of the day desperately searching for them. Boy, did I feel smart. :rolleyes:

[bushiboy]

I keep forgeting where I put Jenn's glasses.

[Ragelion]

Hmmm. done alot of dumb things. Woke up one morning...and noticed my hand and pillow was really clear, and thought "did I sleep with my contacts in?" then looked around and things were blurry and realize that they were just closer to me and I could see them better. ;) But I did just wake up and wasnt thinkin clearly yet.

[Crimson Spider]

I keep forgetting to feed Bushi his lines.

[Beastie]

When I was about 11 (17 years ago), I got up really early (before my parents) and got dressed for school.
I ate my breakfast and left the house all before my parents woke up.

I thought I was being a really good little boy, getting to school so early. My parents were going to be so proud of me.

It was only when I was half-way to school that I realised it was Saturday.




I'm not a morning person.
Takes me until about 11:00 to wake up and get going................

[Ra Havok]

At a funeral...

I was just a little kid...

I said 'congratulations' instead of 'my condolences'...

to the widow...

she had to smile...

I got slapped in the face outside the church by my mother...*






*not true.

[xadrian]

about 6-7 years ago (I was about 23) I was writing a sci-fi book and I had to spell cigarette. Not being the great speller, I forced myself to create a pnuemonic for the word. "Ok, cigar ette, like a baby cigar. Hey, how funny! Oh wait..."

2nd one that I never hear the end of. You know how there are gymnastic and ice skating moves that are sometimes named after someone? Fosbery Flop, Lutz, Biellman spin, etc. Ok, so with that in mind, I'd always had the word "cartwheel" as an abstract, I never associated it with the actual wheel of a cart. I had some weird idea that it was named after someone. My wife is priceless, she says through the tears of laughter, "Like who, Bob Cartwheel?"

It's now a running gag, any time I get too full of myself someone says Bob Cartwheel.

[Chris Piers]

Paging Mr. Cartwheel, Mr. Bob Cartwheel. Ha ha, that's a good one.

[Juan]

Originally posted by Chris Piers
Paging Mr. Cartwheel, Mr. Bob Cartwheel. Ha ha, that's a good one.

Damn Chris, I think that was the best response of how stupid you are (with an example) yet!

Good job!

:D

-Juan

[Paul M.]

I come here.

[Morganza]

I'm so stupid, it took me 3 hours to figure out what this thread was about, but at least im not Juan:D

[Juan]

Originally posted by Morganza
I'm so stupid, it took me 3 hours to figure out what this thread was about, but at least im not Juan:D

Thank God for that, then you'd be SMRT like me...

hehe...

-Juan

[Hazard]

when i was 10 i imitated one of those crazy ass dunks off of "nba jam" i put my portable backboard on my dresser got my little basketball and hopped of the bed and yelled "boomshakalaka!"
which was followed by me bustin my head on the back board and giving me a big ass lump

[jacon]

Originally posted by Hazard
when i was 10 i imitated one of those crazy ass dunks off of "nba jam" i put my portable backboard on my dresser got my little basketball and hopped of the bed and yelled "boomshakalaka!"
which was followed by me bustin my head on the back board and giving me a big ass lump that's the funniest thing i ever heard!

[thepunisher]

and in the summer of 1856 i was out on the lawn doing handsprings (which was named after my close friend Thomas Handspring).

Anyway, i decided to do one slightly sideways and it became known as the "Cartwheel!"

Not too many people know that fact! You may now laugh at all of those who have ridiculed you Xadrian.








ok, so i embellish a little.

Whew, bob cartwheel, honestly, lol!

[The Souljah]

Gee where do I begin. Well as far as SATs I did score 1600 on them. Combined all 5 times I took them.

Well as I said in the thread awhile back about this coolest girl I met, PeniclVillian pointed out a mistake I did a year ago with this girl who said that she liked my artwork. So instead of giving her my phone number I gave her my Website address.

One time at work this girl who always liked getting into arguments with me started one when she asked "How come in TV shows the wife has to to be slim and good looking and the husband looks normal and fat?" I told her No one wants to see fat women on TV. And then I felt this chill I tunr next to me and there's like 4 or 5 fat women just staring at me. Open mouth insert foot.
:rolleyes:

[XTRVGNZ]

I waste my time on reading posts like these and even replying on them.

[jharker]

When I was five years old I was playing on a playground and they had one of them see saws there.

So my brother wanted to try something new and instead of just sitting on the see saw, he'd lie down on the see saw when it was up and then the thing would go down and then his face would almost reach the ground.

Anyway, my brother did that a couple of times and then I decided to do it too, so I was lying on the see saw when it was up and then the thing would fall down again.

But instead of nearly reaching the ground, I smacked my face into it, I guess I was lucky only ending up with a bleeding nose (although it looked really bad back then).


I believe that's the most stupid thing I've ever done.

[crazyjedichicken]

well this one time id been getting up at 7am to go to school for a few months and i was so tired i used to just fall into bed and go asleep..so one day i do this wake up look at my watch and its7 so im flyin around the house getting washed and dressed and i head out to the bus stop and wait for a bus...about a half hour later i finnaly wake up enough to notice its really dark for that time of morning and fiqure out it was really 7 Pm and the really embarassing thing?my family had the camera out when i got home and caught it all in pictures

this could explain my hatred of clocks and school

[jacon]

Originally posted by crazyjedichicken
well this one time id been getting up at 7am to go to school for a few months and i was so tired i used to just fall into bed and go asleep..so one day i do this wake up look at my watch and its7 so im flyin around the house getting washed and dressed and i head out to the bus stop and wait for a bus...about a half hour later i finnaly wake up enough to notice its really dark for that time of morning and fiqure out it was really 7 Pm and the really embarassing thing?my family had the camera out when i got home and caught it all in pictures

this could explain my hatred of clocks and school i do that all the time...

[Tony Moore]

i'm pretty good at paying for gasoline and then going back out to my car, getting in, and then driving off.. the saddest part is, i'm a repeat offender.

it always gets worked out, though.. thank God. i'd be out quite a chunk of money if it didn't.

also, i've found my DVD remote in the refrigerator several times.

-T

...and i have to wear velcro shoes.

[Vendetta]

I've never done anything stupid. Never. Yep, never. NEVER I TELL YOU!!!

[DeForgeo]

I accidentally dropped dirty dishes in the laundry basket. . .

[Tory]

Lets see.. i microwaved a cheese steak wrapped in foil. It was like the 4th of July in Philly. There are massive scorch markes on my microwave till this day.

- I have a bad habbit of not relizing that people are IDENTICAL TWINs until years after going to school with them. I just figured they had their hair cut often.

-i thought my principle was one of the janitors for a whole freaking year.



:D

[razz007]

let see this was many many years ago like in the 4th grade I claim childhood innocence for this:
1. I thought oral sex was talking dirty to some one over the phone
2. That Clitoris was actually a persons name
3. That Bon Jovi was cool
4. that "ollop" was a type of pastry (its acually "pollo"(chicken in spanish) spelt backwards. You can thank my mom for that one I actually went from bakery to bakery asking if they had any "ollop")

I think that'll do for now don't want to bombard you with my childhood stupidity. of course " I'm no longer stupid" I leave that for my children to experience that way I can laugh at them and not be laughed at.

raz
stupidity retiree

[Chris Piers]

I can't remember whether I'm supposed to cut the green wire or the yellow wire. Well, I better make up my mind soon.

[FIG]

Yes, my most recent stupid thing was spending $20 on a horrible PC game called Gore.

[Y2Jenn]

I just remembered this.... thought you wierdo PJers would enjoy some more Y2Jenn antics... *sigh* I was really really really little, like six or something and my ma awoke one night to find me stumbling into the hallway from my room (mostly asleep mind you) going over to the hallway closet, sitting on the laundry hamper and having myself a good pee.

She likes to share that one with friends sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I have you all beat. :rolleyes:

[FIG]

right, how would we enjoy that? You story sounds disgusting, not stupid. Bye now you bed wetter!:)

[Y2Jenn]

HEY! Get it right! I'ma hamper wetter! That was 15 years ago, might I add. LOL I dunno, I felt pretty stupid when my ma informed me of what I did the next morning. Cripes, didn't you do anything utterly strange or sick when you were a kid?! :o

[FIG]

Actually I have but you don't see me broadcasting it on penciljack. Well okay, heres one.....when I used to visit my grandmas hotel in mexico for the summer, on certain nights the whole first floor used to be crawling with frogs. Me and my cousins and my brothers used to kill the frogs by lighting them on fire and throwing needle tipped toothpick sized arrows with a mini-bow also made out of toothpicks. We would dip the needle tipped toothpick arrows in lime juice before and once we did we would proceed to pelt them full of the arrows and then light them on fire. We would then see hand sized fireballs hopping all over the place. We were evil but it was my older cousins idea and I looked up to him at such a young age. I repent, please forgive me.

[Mike]

You two sound like bickering siblings. And you both have sick stories.

When I was little (around 6 or 7) I remember that I used to confuse the word "horny" for "corny" (it was the 80's and corny was a big word back then, like "rad"). So I'd say something like "that's so horny" or "jeez, all the kids at school are horny".

I'm not lying. And that's a sad thing.

[FIG]

you're a sad little man, wallychamp;)

[Pep]

I repeatedly try and put the dishes in the fridge or in the waste basket but I catch myself in the nick of time.
I try and pour myself a plate of milk sometimes.
My hand and mouth seem to have a life of their own because either the hand decides to tilt the glass before the rim has reached my mouth or the mouth doesn't register any liquid until the chest feels cold drops coming from nowhere.
Classic: I search for my keys and wallet, find the the keys and decide to put them where I'll remember them, then find the wallet and go back to searching for the keys.
I'm slightly calculslexic or whaterever it's called - I'm poor with numbers - and thus I'm never good with the clock. Here we go by 24 hrs so 3 pm is 15 hours here but I tend to read 15 as 17 (or 5pm), etc.
I never was a bed wetter, but I pretty often fell out of the top bunk bed and dropped to the floor when I was a kid...that could explain all the weird stuff I tend to do now.

[Y2Jenn]

Originally posted by FIG
Actually I have but you don't see me broadcasting it on penciljack. Well okay, heres one.....when I used to visit my grandmas hotel in mexico for the summer, on certain nights the whole first floor used to be crawling with frogs. Me and my cousins and my brothers used to kill the frogs by lighting them on fire and throwing needle tipped toothpick sized arrows with a mini-bow also made out of toothpicks. We would dip the needle tipped toothpick arrows in lime juice before and once we did we would proceed to pelt them full of the arrows and then light them on fire. We would then see hand sized fireballs hopping all over the place. We were evil but it was my older cousins idea and I looked up to him at such a young age. I repent, please forgive me.

Jeebus! :eek: Thats not sick... its friggin demented! At least mine was innocent six year old hamper peeing... Cripes! Froggie fireballs!!!

You're fun to bicker with, Fig. ;)

Pep, you're friggin hysterical. I laughed the whole time I read your post! :D

[Mike]

Okay here's some stuff that was not only stupid, but damaging to myself (which may explain some things):

Before I learned to walk, I learned to run. So whenever I was up and around as a toddler, I was running. And not just running, running into walls! My mom and dad tell me that more than a few times they'd see me tearing ass through a room and hear "wham", look over and see me sliding down a wall, only to get up and run into another one.

When I was a little older (about 4), my then 7 year old brother and I went exploring at the house that was being built down the street from us. They'd just finished it and for some reason, they stripped all the branches from every tree in the yard and left only 4-5 inch nubs on the trunks. My brother, Matt, decides that they'd be easy and fun to climb, so he climbs one and like any wanna-be little brother, I climb one. Only I fell out of mine, cut my cheek open to where you could see the teeth and wound up with a nice 2 inch scar on my face.

[Joel Harris]

When I was 19 or 20, I had a great plan to sell a longbox of my very best (read: most valuable at the time) comics in order to get some money for drugs. Stupid already, but it gets better. So my 2 friends and I drive to Pittsburgh to hawk my comics at this one comic shop. Well, it was rush hour in downtown Pittsburgh so the closest parking spot I could find was literally a half a mile away.

You all know (I'm assuming) how heavy a full longbox of comics is. Not to mention we had smoked some pot on the ride into Pitt. Sooo... I lug the full longbox half a mile to this comic shop and the guy goes through it, pulls out 5 comics and offers me $25 for them. Well, I was messed up and I sure as hell didn't want to carry that box back to the car, so I told the guy to keep the rest of them too (probably about seven or eight hundred dollars worth of comics, retail). He looked at me like I was high. He was right. Anyway, he said "Well, here." and gave me an extra five bucks. :rolleyes: I will never understand why I didn't just get the car and pull it up to the store long enough to get the rest of the comics.

[Mike]

Whoa. That's dumb.

[FIG]

LOL, Joel. Pot will do that to you because it's a muscle relaxant and it lowers your heart rate so when you're high you ain't in the right frame of mind. :)

[Juan]

Originally posted by Joel Harris
When I was 19 or 20, I had a great plan to sell a longbox of my very best (read: most valuable at the time) comics in order to get some money for drugs. Stupid already, but it gets better. So my 2 friends and I drive to Pittsburgh to hawk my comics at this one comic shop. Well, it was rush hour in downtown Pittsburgh so the closest parking spot I could find was literally a half a mile away.

You all know (I'm assuming) how heavy a full longbox of comics is. Not to mention we had smoked some pot on the ride into Pitt. Sooo... I lug the full longbox half a mile to this comic shop and the guy goes through it, pulls out 5 comics and offers me $25 for them. Well, I was messed up and I sure as hell didn't want to carry that box back to the car, so I told the guy to keep the rest of them too (probably about seven or eight hundred dollars worth of comics, retail). He looked at me like I was high. He was right. Anyway, he said "Well, here." and gave me an extra five bucks. :rolleyes: I will never understand why I didn't just get the car and pull it up to the store long enough to get the rest of the comics.


Are you sure you're not retarded? Man and I was wanting to meet you some day too.....

Hehe

;)

-Juan

[Bruce Lee]

How stupid am I? Not stupid enough to post a reply to a thread question like this!

DOAH!:eek:

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[Ridley]

Alrighty, here's two tales from good ol me:

This one isn't too bad. At my sink I have a water filterer on the corner of it, it kinda looks like a soap dispenser. Anyways, close to that is an actual soap bottle. You don't know how many times I go to get a glass of water and end up with a refreshing cup of soap instead.

Now, this one on the other hand is unforgiveable. I was on vacation at a resort with my family, granma and cousin, Jeremy. Well, while Jeremy and I were sitting around in the room, he decides to go get some pot, which shouldn't be that hard since like everyone there does it. Man, that was a sweet resort. Anyways, an hour goes by, and I've forgotten where Jeremy has gone off to, and me and him were going to go to a fancy french restaurant with my granma, and we were supposed to be there in like 10 minutes. So, everyone starts walking around the resort looking for Jeremy, with me ending up on the beach. I'm looking around when this girl I met the night before walks up and starts talking to me. This girl was like the hottest I'd ever seen at that time, and I was acting akward and all that, my usual smooth self. Thing is, she's saying things like "we should hang out", "wanna come up to my room", etc. So, you know what I say, "Sory but I'm looking for my cousin right now, I'm a little busy. Maybe I'll see you around tonight." I unintentionally blew her off! So, I continue walking down the beach and see Jeremy stumbling down it with some other guys when I realize what she was trying to get at. She wouldn't talk to me after that and left two days later. God, I was so oblivious freshmen and sophomore year....

[jacon]

ridley... that's just sad. so very very sad...

[Bruce Lee]

Stupid situation: I once entered a "Badman" competition after some coaxing from my friends. Back then, I was a karate fanatic, and I won a lot of tournaments. I agreed to enter, only to discover that kicks were not allowed.:eek: I weighed 155 lbs back then, and almost everyone of my opponents outweighed me by 50+ lbs! I actually came in 2nd place, losing to a guy who (I've been told) went on to become the Virginia State Karate champion a few years later. Turns out, he was also a boxing instructor in the Marines. I could believe it, because his punches were fast lethal. I got clocked dozens of times. Believe it or not, our bout came down to "sudden death." I was pleased that I had done so well, but that was the most brutal day of physical beatings I'd ever experienced. That was back in '89, but even now, I still feel pains from four of the most horrific hours of my life. I couldn't walk or move very well for a week thereafter. Ontop of all that, I had a scheduled "first date" two days after the competition, and I was covered with bruises and my eye was practically welded shut. I received a $500 check for 2nd place, but it wasn't worth it.

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[shinolahead]

I sneezed into a full-crust pot pie once. Mild 2nd degree burns on my face and I missed a day or so of work (I worked outside in the sun at the time).

[Tommy]

I'm not too stupid (yeah, right!), but my brother is. He had to take his cat to the vet, and was on the phone with them. The vet asked if he could bring in a stool. He said "Yeah...I guess. Don't you have anything to sit on?"

Stool = cat poop (in case you didn't get it either)!

Ok, here's one for me. Sometimes (a lot) I let my alarm clock go until the wife smacks me to get up. So this happens one morning, except I didn't hear the alarm, but I figured I overslept. So I jump out of bed, and into the shower to get ready for work. All the time I'm thinking, "Man, I feel like I only slept 2 hours", "Hey, it's pretty dark this morning" (you know what's coming, don't you?) I come back in the bedroom to get dressed, and finally have enough sense to look at the clock, and it's 2 AM! (I get up at 6)

[Mike]

Two more from me:

When I was around 13, one day I was so tired after school that when my mom called me down to dinner, I sat there for a few minutes then my face hit my eggs. Just passed out right in my meal.

When I was around 7, my family was leaving the house for a movie. The cat was in a tree (and then climbing a brick wall) and I tried to get her back inside the house. As I was reaching for the cat, she turned around and scratched at my face, snagging the inside of my eyelid. Blood was gushing. We wound up at the emergency room instead of the theater.

[MC Fumunda]

Originally posted by Bruce Lee
Stupid situation: I once entered a "Badman" competition after some coaxing from my friends. Back then, I was a karate fanatic, and I won a lot of tournaments. I agreed to enter, only to discover that kicks were not allowed.:eek: I weighed 155 lbs back then, and almost everyone of my opponents outweighed me by 50+ lbs! I actually came in 2nd place, losing to a guy who (I've been told) went on to become the Virginia State Karate champion a few years later. Turns out, he was also a boxing instructor in the Marines. I could believe it, because his punches were fast lethal. I got clocked dozens of times. Believe it or not, our bout came down to "sudden death." I was pleased that I had done so well, but that was the most brutal day of physical beatings I'd ever experienced. That was back in '89, but even now, I still feel pains from four of the most horrific hours of my life. I couldn't walk or move very well for a week thereafter. Ontop of all that, I had a scheduled "first date" two days after the competition, and I was covered with bruises and my eye was practically welded shut. I received a $500 check for 2nd place, but it wasn't worth it.

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

bruce lee never gets second place, no matter how small he is.

you hack.