View Full Version : Page in progress....
02-18-2010, 09:26 PM
Okay, posted this in sequentials, but didn't get any feedback, so I'll try here...please let me know what you think could be improved, adjusted, etc...
02-20-2010, 01:40 AM
Drawing is pretty good. Nice sense of action.
Lots of bad tangents. The art style is different from each other in the first four panels.
Panel 1 - It was hard to tell this was a hat. The crown looks like a rock. The razor edges aren't convincing. What you are trying to use as a metallic just looks ilke a design decoration.
The hat coming out the frame touches panel three border (bad tangent) and makes my eye go to panel 3 next.
Joker's left arm looks broken. It looks like there is a cloud of smoke behind him.
An establishing shot is needed before this panel.
Panel 2 - I can't tell what Batman is climbing. It took three looks before I noticed the hat slicing his arm, which he doesn't even flinch at here. Yet in the next panel it makes him fall. Batman doesn't have a skin tight cape or a short cape, so we should see much more of it here.
Panel 4 - Looks like Batman lands on the sidewalk.
Panel 5 - Now Batman seems to be in the middle of the street.
02-20-2010, 12:12 PM
Panel 1. I think that the hat looks too jagged on the top and agree it looks
kinda like a rock, not a hat, so would redraw the hat to be more life like
rounded and brimmed. I think it could use some motion lines to sell it as moving
more. the way jokers jacket tangents into it kinda stops its movement a bit.
Panel 2, I would make those motion lines taper more.Again redefine the hat contours.
Panel 4. The background is a little sparse, is this WIP? anyway would taper
those motion lines and also the don't need to be that long a few leading from the cape etc
could do the job and leave more room for the figure to read.
Panel 5. This composition could be tweaked a bit, what if batman was closer to the upper right
corner so your panel 4 would transition to him and then lead the eye up to the godzilla?
I like the joker and you moving the camera around, nice.
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